Uncle B - Another_Pumpkin_Pie - Helluva Boss (Web Series) [Archive of Our Own] (2025)

Table of Contents
Chapter 1: The basket Summary: Notes: Chapter Text Notes: Chapter 2: The letter Summary: Notes: Chapter Text Notes: Chapter 3: The neighbor Summary: Notes: Chapter Text Notes: Chapter 4: The supermarket Summary: Chapter Text Chapter 5: The daughter Summary: Notes: Chapter Text Notes: Chapter 6: The employees Summary: Notes: Chapter Text Chapter 7: The succu-bitch Summary: Notes: Chapter Text Notes: Chapter 8: The therapist Summary: Notes: Chapter Text Notes: Chapter 9: The friend Notes: Chapter Text Notes: Chapter 10: The apology Summary: Notes: Chapter Text Chapter 11: The favor Summary: Notes: Chapter Text Notes: Chapter 12: Interlude: The Prince who owns his shit Summary: Notes: Chapter Text Notes: Chapter 13: The ex Summary: Notes: Chapter Text Chapter 14: The mothers-to-be Summary: Notes: Chapter Text Notes: Chapter 15: The introductions Summary: Notes: Chapter Text Notes: Chapter 16: The maid Summary: Notes: Chapter Text Notes: Chapter 17: The heart-to-heart Summary: Notes: Chapter Text Notes: Chapter 18: The deal Summary: Notes: Chapter Text Chapter 19: The host Summary: Notes: Chapter Text Notes: Chapter 20: The Prince Summary: Notes: Chapter Text Notes: Chapter 21: The talk-over Summary: Notes: Chapter Text Notes: Chapter 22: Interlude 2: The prince who admits defeat Summary: Notes: Chapter Text Notes: Chapter 23: The call Summary: Notes: Chapter Text Notes: Chapter 24: The sleepover Summary: Notes: Chapter Text Notes: Chapter 25: The hospital Summary: Notes: Chapter Text Notes: Chapter 26: The examination Summary: Notes: Chapter Text Notes: Chapter 27: The sister Summary: Notes: Chapter Text Notes: Chapter 28: The gift Summary: Notes: Chapter Text Notes: Chapter 29: The non-date Summary: Notes: Chapter Text Chapter 30: The brother Summary: Notes: Chapter Text Notes: Chapter 31: The confession Summary: Notes: Chapter Text Chapter 32: The freak-out Summary: Notes: Chapter Text Notes: Chapter 33: The epiphany Summary: Notes: Chapter Text Chapter 34: The discussion Summary: Notes: Chapter Text Chapter 35: The progress Summary: Notes: Chapter Text Notes: Chapter 36: The incubator Summary: Notes: Chapter Text Notes: Chapter 37: Interlude 3: The prince who knows what he wants Summary: Notes: Chapter Text Notes: Chapter 38: The kiss Summary: Notes: Chapter Text Notes: Chapter 39: The trade Summary: Notes: Chapter Text Chapter 40: The kick Summary: Notes: Chapter Text Notes: Chapter 41: The picnic Summary: Notes: Chapter Text Notes: Chapter 42: The teenager Summary: Notes: Chapter Text Notes: Chapter 43: The birthday Summary: Notes: Chapter Text Notes: Chapter 44: The grave Summary: Notes: Chapter Text Notes: Chapter 45: The awakening Summary: Notes: Chapter Text Chapter 46: The babies Summary: Notes: Chapter Text Notes: Chapter 47: Interlude 4: The Prince who’s torn between friendship and love Summary: Notes: Chapter Text Chapter 48: The dilemma Summary: Notes: Chapter Text Chapter 49: The declaration Summary: Notes: Chapter Text Notes: Chapter 50: The (skippable) night Summary: Notes: Chapter Text Chapter 51: The birth Summary: Notes: Chapter Text Notes:

Chapter 1: The basket

Summary:

Blitzø is in a good place.
Blitzø is fine.
Blitzø is lying to himself.

I feel the need to explain why I'm writing this, as I already have a multi-chapter, multi-pov woolly mammoth of a fic in progress.
The official explanation is that I've had this plot bunny jumping in my head for almost two weeks and it just won't go away.
(The real one is that my muse is a raging monster who wants me to die of exhaustion and/or too many emotions.)
If you're familiar with my other fic, you'll find that this one is a lot less angsty (but it still is a little, we're talking Blitzø, let's face it), a lot more fluffy and a lot more straightforward (in theory at least. I tend to add subplots, especially when I don't intend to). It should be much shorter too, but I have no idea how many chapters it's going to be or how often I'll be able to update it.

I hope you’ll like it! ♥️

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

It's been five months.

Five months since that awful party. Since the song that broke his heart into a million pieces and still haunts him sometimes. Five months since Blitzø last saw him. Even after all this time, the imp can't bring himself to say his name out loud. Or even in his mind.

It still hurts.

But apart from that (very painful) point, Blitzø is fine.

Well, almost.

He's getting better, anyway.

He's been in therapy, twice a week, for almost two months. After falling out with his former therapist, he really didn't want to, but Millie insisted. And as she was sharpening her axe at the time, with a very disturbing look on her face, Blitzø felt he had no choice but to agree.

And he went to all his appointments.

(It helps that his therapist has an entire jar full of gummy worms with flaming pepper and fizzleberry flavor. Tart and spicy, the best candy combination ever. Blitzø eats half the contents of the jar at each of his appointments, but his therapist doesn't seem to mind. She's pretty chill, even for a Slothian demon. Which isn't to say she doesn't pay attention to every word out of Blitzø's mouth. In fact, she's so focused it's almost frightening.)

So he finds himself talking to her more and more with each new appointment. About the circus. About Fizz. About his shitty excuse for a father. And his complicated relationship with his own daughter.

There are other subjects he hasn't been able to tackle yet. Him, of course. His twin sister. And above all, his mom. Fifteen years have passed, but every time Blitzø thinks of her, it's as if a part of him dies with her, all over again.

(In fact, the first time his therapist asked Blitzø about his parents, the imp spent fifty-five minutes detailing all the reasons why Cash Buckzo was the trashiest imp ever and, if there's an afterlife for their kind, why he deserves to rot in an even worse version of Hell. When the therapist redirected the discussion to his mom, Blitzø began sobbing uncontrollably and it took him five minutes - the rest of the appointment, actually - to stop. The therapist hasn't mentioned it since, but Blitzø has a feeling the subject will come up again, sooner or later. And he's more than a little frightened by the prospect.)

Blitzø is feeling good.

He's pretty cool with M&M. He hasn't been in their apartment uninvited in almost a month and hasn't made any kind of sexual innuendo in two weeks.

(The comment about Moxxie needing to be pegged more often doesn't count. That was a joke. More or less. Either way, Millie laughed. It's not Blitzø's fault that Moxxie doesn't have a sense of humor.)

Blitzø and Fizz are also in a good place. They'll never be as close as they used to (how could they, after what Blitzø did?), but Fizz forgave him anyway. Now they get together for lunch twice a week (to eat burgers four times out of five, because Fizz is a food junkie and his boyfriend cares too much about his health to let him indulge all his cravings). And Blitzø is almost always invited at Ozzie's little parties.

Unless of course the Deadly Sin asked his new BFF instead.

As it turns out, while Blitzø and Fizz were rekindling their friendship, Fizz’s boyfriend became pretty chummy with a certain Royal. Nothing sexual about that, though. Not that Blitzø would have blamed Him if it was. He’d certainly tap that blue rooster’s ass himself if he wasn’t in a committed relationship with his former brother/best friend/crush/nemesis (don't cross out the unnecessary).

All the while, Fizz and Ozzie have done a stellar job of keeping Blitzø and Ozzie's new buddy from running into each other. The imp isn't even sure He knows that Blitzø and Fizz are close again. He himself wouldn't even be aware of His relationship with Ozzie if Fizz hadn't told him one day when he'd had too much tequila.

(They haven't broached the subject since, and Blitzø has done his best to avoid thinking about it.)

And last but not least, I.M.P. has made it. Now that they're using the Asmodean crystal to get to Earth, their business has finally become official. Blitzø had to jump through some flaming hoops (literally: someone in Pride's administration obviously has a twisted sense of humor), but he filled in all the paperwork. Moxxie helped, since Blitzø sometimes confuses the letters. They got all the stamps and stuff. Now they're registered as an assassination company in a field where they have no competitors whatsoever. More and more Sinners are coming to them for revenge, which means that Blitzø and Loony have finally been able to leave their shitty apartment in Imp City's most squalid neighborhood for another, still shabby but much better one. Now, each of them has a real bedroom and the water stays hot for a good ten-minute shower. A real luxury. Blitzø hasn't even been burned once by a sudden oven explosion since they moved in three weeks ago.

He also sleeps better. The fact that he's in a real bed instead of a lumpy couch probably has a lot to do with it, but so do the little pills his therapist prescribed for that very reason.

So, yes, Blitzø is fine. More than fine, in fact. He's lucky his life has turned out so well, all things considered.

(And if he keeps telling himself that, maybe one day it will all come true.)

Today is Tuesday, and it's usually one of the days he has lunch with Fizz, but his friend canceled this morning. Apparently, he has a few errands to run to prepare for a special event at Ozzie's. An event to which Blitzø isn't invited, which means Someone Else is. Normally, he'd simply offer his employees a drink after work, but Loony already has plans with a young hellhound she casually dates and refuses to let her father meet. As for M&M, Moxxie got hurt on today's job. Not seriously, but Millie said she'd be reassured if he went to bed early.

(Blitzø immediately thought that if they went to bed early, and stayed there, Moxxie would surely feel much better in no time, but he didn't say it out loud. See? Progress. Still, he winked at Millie.)

So he stayed alone in the office to do paperwork. Which means he's been doodling a lot of horses, as he still has problems with letters. But he has sorted out some important-looking papers, so he considers his work done.

It's already dark when he gets home. As his new neighborhood is much nicer than his old one, there's virtually no risk of him being mugged. In fact, yesterday, one of his neighbors, an old imp lady smiled at him. Blitzø is so unused to it that he asked her if she'd had a stroke or something, and now she thinks he's hilarious.

(She's not wrong. He is pretty funny. But he wasn't trying to be at the time.)

He's daydreaming about the new horse he drew on the spot today (a tiny unicorn foal he's decided to call Thellie, for some reason) when he arrives at the entrance to his building and hears a barely audible noise near his feet. It almost sounds like a baby cat.

Looking down, he sees a straw basket covered with a multicolored plaid. Curious, he crouches down and lifts the plaid to see what's inside the basket.

And suddenly feels nauseous.

For these are clearly not cats.

More importantly, there's a letter in the basket. And for once, he has no trouble reading what's on the envelope. Because, firstly, it's his sister's handwriting.

And secondly, it's got his name on it.

Notes:

For the record, I'd like to say that I have three headcanon about Blitzø and I'd stand by them until the day I die.
1. Blitzø is a great dad.
2. Blitzø is at heart a very good person. A shitty life and lots of trauma just got in his way.
3. Blitzø never will take care of his (numerous) personal issues unless external events force him to.

Chapter 2: The letter

Summary:

Blitzø is so fucked. All three of them are.

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

So far, Blitzø has read the letter eighteen times. And no matter how hard he looks for another explanation, some kind of secret meaning, he can't come up with one. It doesn't help that it’s incredibly short (barely two lines, not counting his sister's far too elaborate yet achingly familiar signature).

The letter reads:

The boy's name is Beo, the girl Belle. They're the only good thing I ever did. Want to make it up to me, brother? Here's your chance.
Barbie

The contents of this fucking basket are unfortunately pretty self-explanatory.

There are two babies inside. Newborns. And, as far as Blitzø can tell, they’re twins. What's more, they have larger, backward-curving horns, typical of circus imps. In fact, these are the exact same horns that Blitzø and Barbie had in a photo that is practically engraved in his memory, as it was his mom’s favorite: a photo of herself, on her maternity bed, holding her newborn twins in her arms. As far back as Blitzø can remember, the framed photo was on his mom’s nightstand, where it remained until the tent burned down with the rest of the circus. That said, it's clear that the newborns in the basket aren't all imp, circus or otherwise. For one thing, they both have hair, and it's a shiny silver instead of black or white. For another, they appear to have tiny wings.

Either Blitzø is delirious, or his twin had unprotected sex with a fucking incubus and got knocked up. He can't help feeling a little disappointed in Barbie. His sister really should have known better.

(Of course, Blitzø is in no position to judge her, as he himself had a particular fondness for Lust's native demons, whether succubi or incubi, at one time. But at least he was smart enough to take all the necessary precautions to never knock someone up by accident. He’d have been too afraid to be as bad a father as Cash Buckzo.)

So it makes no sense that his twin would deliberately choose him to look after her own kids. Why would she do such a stupid, shitty thing? If Blitzø were the only one impacted, he might have understood. It’s hard to imagine anything he's less equipped for than taking care of newborns. So if the aim was to make his life miserable, it's a resounding success.

Barbie hates him, after all. And he can't really blame her.

Except that she's entrusted him with her own kids. And from what the letter says, she doesn't hate them. On the contrary.

And that's why he's so confused.

One of the babies opens its eyes. Blitzø is almost certain it's the girl, for her horns are deep black, with faint white stripes. The eyes are pure silver, almond-shaped and already lined with thick lashes. The little thing... what's her name again? Blitzø should know, because he's read the fucking letter so many times, but his brain seems to have temporarily stopped working. She meets his gaze and he holds his breath, expecting her to start screaming at the top of her lungs.

But she never does.

Instead, she gives him a toothless smile.

And he's forced to admit, albeit reluctantly, that his niece, what’s-her-name is a cute little thing.

(What's more, she's nothing like her mother. According to family legend, Barbie didn't stop screaming until she was ten months old. Like the shit imp that he was, Cash Buckzo took the opportunity to sleep in another tent during this time. And although Blitzø has no way of knowing it for sure, he's convinced that the tent in question already had an occupant. Baby Blitzø, on the other hand, never screamed. What he constantly did was talk. In fact, their mom said he even talked in his sleep.

(Blitzø is pretty sure he stopped a long time ago. Someone would have told him by now. It's not as if he'd never slept in the same bed with another person, even if that didn't happen for nearly a year now, with all those full moons when he was avoiding Him... and all the time that has passed since then.

Whatever. It's over now, anyway. No need to cry over spoiled cheese, or something like that.)

« Hello », he says in the softest voice he can muster, careful not to speak too loudly so as not to wake the second little thing. « I’m your Uncle Blitzø. You can call me Uncle B... Well, I guess you can call me that when you can speak. And I have no idea when that will be. I know next to nothing about babies. I'll do what I can, but let me tell you, your mother screwed all three of us up phenomenally. »

Girl baby doesn't seem the least bit upset by the news. She keeps on smiling her toothless smile. Wrapped up in her red blanket, she looks like a little lobster dumpling.

Or a tiny red lava pepper.

« Is it ok if I call you Pepper? » he asks.

Blitzø wasn't expecting an answer, so he's a little startled when an amused voice coming from behind his back replies:

« At this age, you can call them whatever you like, dear. They're like cats. They recognize the tone you use far more than words. »

It's the old imp lady who lives on the ground floor. The one who smiled at him the other day for no apparent reason. Blitzø's first instinct is to tell her to mind her own fucking business (and fuck off, for good measure), because in his old neighborhood, when someone took the time to talk to him, it was either to involve him in some shady scheme, to sell him useless crap, or to insult him (and in Wally Wackford's case, all three at once). But Moxxie made him promise to speak politely to his elders for once (plus, the old bat has the good taste of finding him really funny), so Blitzø clears his throat and gives her an awkward wave.

Instead of wishing him a good night, the old imp makes her way towards him, and she's so slow that Blitzø is half tempted to carry her himself to speed things up. But he stays put and waits forever for her to finally join him.

« How adorable », she says, looking with a fond smile at Pepper and her brother.

(Blitzø figures he can call him Lobster. If the little thing doesn't like it, too bad for him, he only had to be awake when his uncle decided to rename him.)

« How old are they? » asks the old bat after a few seconds.

« I have no idea. But I saw their mother seven months ago and she didn't look pregnant then, so I guess they're pretty new? » Blitzø replies with a shrug.

(He's still trying to come to terms with the fact that the last time he saw his twin - and she said she never wanted to see him ever - she was already pregnant. Maybe that's even why she managed to finish rehab, for once.)

The old bat frowns.

« They're not yours? »

« Fuck no! I'm not that irresponsible! » Blitzø replies indignantly.

(And yes, he knows he's done some pretty questionable things in the past, but he's never implicated someone innocent. That's one point for him, at least.)

« So... whose children are these? »

Blitzø is sorely tempted to tell her exactly where she can put her questions, but he's promised Moxxie, so he forces himself to remain calm.

« They're my sister's. She's... gone wherever, and she left them with me in the meantime. »

« Oh dear! » exclaims the old bat. « Well... if you need anything, don't hesitate to ask me. I used to be a maternity nurse in Sloth and I've got eight children and twenty-two grandchildren of my own, so believe me when I tell you I've got experience. »

As she looks at least a hundred years old, Blitzø has no doubt that she has been through a lot. What he finds harder to believe is that her shriveled old body could give birth to just one child, so eight seems unnatural.

« That's very kind of you, but I'm sure we can manage », he replies, with a mock smile.

« If you say so, dear. But know that my door is always open. »

« Sure. Thanks. I must go. Bye! »

Blitzø takes the basket in his arms and carries it inside. Maybe he should wait and leave the door open for the old bat? But considering how slow she is, it's going to take forever. It might be daylight by the time he gets back to his apartment. So he gives her a little nod and rushes inside.

He's a smart man who's created his own business. How complicated is it to look after children, anyway?

Notes:

(The photo Blitzø is referring to in the beginning of the chapter comes from this amazing fanart that partly inspired this fic.
)

Chapter 3: The neighbor

Summary:

As it turns out, Blitzø does need help. And a lot sooner than expected.

Notes:

Thank you so much for the comments and kudos. I didn’t expect such a positive reaction to this weird little plot bunny I had, and I am so very happy about it! 😊❤️
Let’s hope you still like where this is going!

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

It turns out that looking after children is insanely complicated, and you have to be a fucking genius to do it right!

It's only been forty-five minutes since Blitzø returned to his apartment, and he's already cursed his fucking twin three times, had a mini breakdown, cried twice and sliced his hand trying to open an old tin of condensed milk.

(Only to learn later that this is not the type of milk you're supposed to give babies. Why are there so many different types of milk, anyway?)

If the information he found on the Undernet is to be believed, the best thing for the twins to eat is mother's milk. Since Blitzø hasn't been miraculously endowed with the ability to produce uncle’s milk, the best alternative is formula. As, up until now, he thought it was something to do with mathematics or chemistry, Blitzø has to admit that he's not up to the job when it comes to babies.

Especially as Lobster has just woken up crying, causing his sister to cry in turn.

(The male is by far his least favorite of the two.)

So Blitzø swallows his pride, carefully takes the basket containing the tiny scream machines in his arms and runs down the four flights of stairs to the ground floor.
The door opens surprisingly quickly after he elbows the doorbell, still holding the basket full of screaming babies as carefully as if it were a time bomb. Since Blitzø has seen turtles move faster than the old bat, it's almost certain that she was waiting for him to come running, which is infuriating.

(Especially as she was right.)

And indeed, she has a smug smile that she barely tries to hide behind concern when she asks:

« Are you out of your depth, dear? »

Blitzø is incredibly tempted to tell her to shove her 'dear' way down deep and do other anatomically impossible things as a bonus, but he's acutely aware that she's his best shot at stopping these little noise factories, so he bites his tongue, takes a deep breath and says:

« Can you help me... please? » he adds, when a small, reproachful inner voice surprisingly similar to Moxxie's urges him to do so.

« Sure, dear. Please do come in. And don't forget to wipe your feet on the doormat! »

« Are you fucking kidding me right now? » he asks, but she gives him such an intimidating look, especially on such a wrinkled face, that he complies without further argument.

« Do you want a cup of herbal tea? Or cookies? »

Blitzø puts the basket of screaming babies in the crook of one arm to rub his now throbbing forehead and takes another deep breath. He begins to wonder if the old bat isn't secretly an evil genius who takes a malicious pleasure in making him uncomfortable.

« Do I look like the type of guy who… what kind of cookies? » he asks, because he's not about to pass up the opportunity to eat free food if it's good.

« Jalapeños and Wally Wackford's special chili sauce. »

Blitzø has to hold back a squeal of delight. It sounds so good. The special sauce is one of Wally Wackford's rare successes, and Blitzø puts it on almost every meal, although he has to be very careful not to let it get near Loony's plate, as it's also a safety hazard.

« Did you know they found asbestos in one of his batches? » he replies, because it was the hottest news in his old neighborhood for a while.

« Oh, that's right, I remember that one. It tasted really good to me, though. It's almost a shame they made him change his recipe. I think there's a bit of lead in this one. It's a good thing we imps are such a resilient species, isn't it? »

Blitzø can only nod. But then one of the tiny noise machines starts screaming even louder - something he hadn't even imagined possible - and he turns to the old bat, distraught.

« What can I do to make it stop?... Please! »

This time, Blitzø barely hesitates before adding the last word. He hates it, but there's no way he's going to pull through on his own. He's going to need help, and lots of it. And as annoying as she is, the old bat seems best equipped to handle the situation at the moment.

« All you have to do is hold them and rock them, dear. Babies need lots of physical contact to grow up healthy. »

« Okay... how do I do that? »

She raises a surprised eyebrow and her forehead wrinkles even more (which is impressive, because he'd swear even her wrinkles have wrinkles).

« Surely you've held a baby before? »

Humiliated, Blitzø looks down and shakes his head. He can't say why he feels so uncomfortable, because he deliberately avoids any situation where he'd have to interact with fragile things or people. He's well aware he breaks everything he touches.

« Well, what did we say about overgeneralization? » calmly asks his therapist's voice somewhere inside his mind.

Since she's not there to hear him, he tells her to shove it in deep and do anatomically impossible things as a bonus.

He feels a little better after that.

« And you're still here? Honestly, I'm impressed by your fortitude, dear » comments the old bat. « The good thing is, it's never too late to learn. Here, let me show you… »

Over the next hour, Blitzø learns to hold the twins in his arms, one at a time, then both together. He's still terrified of dropping or hurting them. And even though the old bat keeps saying that imps, including babies, are very strong and that it would be all right if they fell, he doesn't want to take any chances and carries them as if they were made of crystal. The breakable kind, not the Asmodean kind, which resists everything, including Moxxie's nasty tongue.

(Plus the old bat can claim to have eight children and twenty-two grandchildren, all in perfect health, but who's to say? For all he knows, there are thirty death certificates somewhere in her apartment, which smells of old flowers and tea, and the cause of all these deaths is a fall.)

The old bat, who’s called Mrs. Korrigan and allows Blitzø to call her Mrs. K, teaches him how to make something called a sling, which allows him to carry the twins on his chest while keeping both arms mobile, which is incredibly handy. The fabric they used appears to be an old tablecloth or perhaps a piece of curtain, and it's an ugly mustard color, but beggars can't be choosers, so he says thank you, without even being prompted by his inner Moxxie this time.

(Blitzø has every intention of buying a new fabric with cool patterns, like skulls, raised middle fingers or horses, but that can wait a day or two.)

The old bat also guides him in preparing bottles and changing the babies' diapers, which is one of the worst experiences Blitzø has ever had. He shudders knowing that he'll have to do it all over again, several times a day, in the near future. But it would have been even worse if he'd had to learn everything on his own. Which is why, once again, he says thank you, without any trace of irony.

(Especially as her cookies totally kick ass and Blitzø eats a handful throughout the process. He categorically refuses the disgusting herbal tea, though, and asks if she hasn't got something stronger. So she makes him a black tea instead. With lots of cream and sugar, and the cookies on the side, it's not the worst thing he's ever drunk, by a long shot.)

Finally, she makes a list of everything he'll need to buy to look after the twins for the next few weeks. The list is so long that Blitzø begins to wonder if he won't have to rent a storage unit for all this shit, but she tells him it's the bare minimum, so he'll have to find a way to make do.

Then she sends him on his way, because the twins will soon be hungry and Mrs. K doesn't have the magic formula to feed them.

« It's going to be all right, dear », she tells him with a gentle smile, patting his hand. « You're willing to do the work, and that's more than I can say for my first two husbands. »

(It figures that the old bat has outlived at least two husbands. She may look like she could crumble at any moment and move like an asthmatic turtle, but she's got nerves of titanium. Blitzø is willing to bet even Lucifer wouldn't scare her.)

« Thank you, Mrs. K. »

« If you need anything else, feel free to drop by. Or even just to let me know how things are going with the twins. I'll make cookies again », she adds with a wink.

« Sure thing! » Blitzø readily replies, because not only are these cookies so good, but he knows he owes her a big one now.

Somehow, he doesn't get the impression that she'd want him to kill people on her behalf. He's pretty sure she could kill them on her own, just with the weight of her disapproval.

But he'll have to deal with that later.

Right now, he's got to go, and fast, before Pepper and Lobster start screaming again.

So he opens a portal (he may not have Moxxie's tongue action, but he's very good with his fingers, when people aren't stressing him out, thank you very much) to the big supermarket in the center of Imp City and steps through it.

Notes:

Next chapter: the supermarket!
(In case some of you are wondering, no, I haven't abandoned my other fic, but I'm on a very tricky three-segments scene with three different points of view in a row, so it's going to take a bit longer to figure out. But I'm still working on it, I promise!)

Chapter 4: The supermarket

Summary:

Buying baby stuff in a supermarket should be easy, right?
Wrong.
So wrong.

Chapter Text

In a way, Blitzø feels he should be grateful it's so late, as only night owls linger in the supermarket aisles.

(Not in the literal sense, thankfully. He'd probably die on the spot if he came across a certain bird during these particular errands.)

But even though there are only a few people around, Blitzø can still feel their gazes on him. Do they wonder what a thirty-something male imp is doing with newborns on his chest? In any case, the twins look like they could be his, which is a very good thing, because Blitzø can't think of many ways to spend his night that would be worse than a stint in jail for alleged kidnapping.

(Having to call his daughter, friend or employees to bail him out and introduce them to the twins at a police station would certainly make the list, though. Blitzø knows he'll have to tell them sooner or later - probably sooner - and he already grits his teeth thinking about the awkward conversation ahead.)

So... if he can avoid it for now, he'd rather.

The supermarket is a gigantic building filled with everything you could possibly buy in Hell (including products you wouldn't even think of). Blitzø has a hard time finding the baby aisle, as he's never had to go there before.

After a good twenty minutes running around, he's in a very bad mood. Especially as Pepper has just opened her eyes to look at him. She hasn't cried yet, but he has the unpleasant feeling that the screaming machine could start at any second now. So when he spots a pimple-faced teenage imp wearing Mammon's Market's nausea-green shirt, Blitzø pounces on him.

« Where's the baby aisle? »

« No idea, dude », replies the pimply prick, who dares to give him a bored look and a nonchalant shrug.

At his best, Blitzø has never been a very patient imp. And right now, he's definitely not at his best. He's had a long and complicated day, followed by an even longer and much more stressful evening. It's after 1 a.m. At this very moment, he should drift asleep after taking one of the lilac pills in the bottle bearing Belphegor's logo, while listening to the sounds coming from his nightlight.

(This was another idea from his therapist, actually. According to her, what he needs is to ritualize bedtime so that the transition from wakefulness to sleep is as smooth as possible. It sounds silly, but Blitzø has to admit it works. The nightlight wasn't cheap and he'd certainly die of embarrassment if anyone found out he had it, but it's one of the best purchases he's made in a long time. The light dims slowly and you can program all sorts of soothing noises to help you fall asleep. Blitzø has chosen ‘life on a ranch’, with horses neighing in the distance.)

So he grabs the pimply prick by the front of his shirt and brings him up to eye level.

« Listen up, you little shitstain », he growls in his most menacing tone. « Those two have the best set of lungs I've ever heard. When they start screaming... and they will, I promise... I'll make sure I'm as close to you as possible, so you can enjoy every excruciating second of it. Or you can point me down the baby aisle and I'll be out of your greasy hair. Your choice. »

The kid gives him a terrified look and swallows audibly. Blitzø couldn't care less about his obvious discomfort. Not only is it the pimply prick's fucking job to help him, but if his own night is going to be miserable, why not share the fun with everyone else?

« I… uh... I need to check with my colleague », says the kid, before grabbing a battered old phone and vigorously pressing the red button. « Hi dude... uh... it's Fino here. I've got a customer who wants to find a certain aisle and... I have no idea where it is. You know how it is, dude, with the new guidelines, the big boss insisting we move everything around every couple of mo... Yeah, anyway, the customer's really insisting and I... yeah. Uh... aisle 3b? Sure, sure, sure. We'll just wait. He's coming », he adds with a big, hypocritical smile to Blitzø.

Given that he looked at him sideways throughout the entire discussion with his ‘colleague’, Blitzø is pretty sure that instead of calling another employee to direct him to the right aisle, the little shit called security to escort him out of the supermarket. So he's not really surprised when a middle-aged hellhound joins them a few minutes later.

He may not be surprised, but he’s still pissed, especially as Pepper's face begins to scrunch up in displeasure. It's a wonder Lobster's still asleep. Blitzø starts to suspect that the male one is a bit narcoleptic or something.

« What seems to be the problem? » asks the hellhound in a deep voice, an engaging smile on his face.

Ever since that bastard Vortex decided to sing backup at Verosika's shitfest a few months ago, even though Blitzø had never done anything to him... and especially since an unknown hellhound is probably corrupting his innocent Loony at this very moment, Blitzø has a problem with the whole species (the males in particular). So he gives this specimen the same look he gave the pimply prick earlier, despite the fact that the security guard is almost twice his height and three times his width.

« The problem is, I've got a hungry baby here, another one who's going to wake up any second now, and this little shit refuses to tell me WHERE THE FUCKING BABY AISLE IS!!!! » Blitzø screams in absolute frustration.

He really shouldn't have, because Pepper and Lobster immediately join in the screaming.

Blitzø could very well burst into tears right here and now.

Incredibly, the security guard doesn't get angry. In fact, he gives Blitzø a sympathetic smile and lowers his head towards the twins, emitting a low sound akin to purring. And by some insane miracle, the screams cease almost instantly, as the babies focus their silvery gaze on him.

« Single dad, eh? » asks the security guard.

« Single uncle », grumbles Blitzø.

He doesn't want to like the hellhound, but he can't help but be impressed by how easily he calmed the twins down.

(There are so many things Blitzø has to learn. And so many ways to screw it up.)

« I get it. The daughter is back home with her little one and she works night shifts half the time. And since the wife isn't too keen on the idea of waking up in the middle of the night to look after the grandson, I'm the one who's volunteering. Don't worry, I've got you. I'll show you where the aisle is. And I'll even let you make them a bottle in the break room. »

« You will? » Blitzø and the pimply shit ask in chorus.

Blitzø isn't sure which of them is more surprised by the hellhound's offer, but he's certainly not going to argue.

« Sure. These little ones need to eat a proper meal and fast. It’s okay, Fino, I got this. »

« Thank you », says Blitzø.

Take that, inner Moxxie!

(He may never learn to apologize properly to people, but he feels like he's got a handle on this gratitude thing, at least.)

Which doesn't stop him from giving the kid the finger just as the security guard is looking the other way.

The hellhound, whose name is Chutney, directs him to the baby aisle, which is only a few meters from where the pimply prick was stationed, and helps Blitzø pick out a few items, like bottles, diapers, the famous formula — of which there are different types depending on the age of the babies, which is problematic because Blitzø has no idea when the twins were born - and an easy-to-assemble crib for them to sleep in. It's only a fraction of the old bat's list, but since Blitzø came through a portal, he wouldn’t be able to take it all home anyway.

Maybe he could come back tomorrow with Loony and M&M. It would be a good team-bonding moment!

After paying, the security guard gives him access to the staff area of the supermarket and shows him how to prepare a bottle, even offering to feed Lobster while Blitzø looks after Pepper.

(Maybe the imp should feel humiliated at needing help from strangers but, frankly, he's far too tired to care).

When the twins have finished their meal (and he's burped them, as he's supposed to, apparently), Blitzø opens a portal between the break room and the living room of his own apartment, where he dumps all the crap he's just bought. He thanks Chutney for his help. Since he had to undo the sling for the feeding and has no idea how to rewind it, he cautiously takes the twins in his arms and jumps through the portal, just as it's about to close.

Turns out Loony wasn't being seduced by an unknown hellhound. In fact, she's sitting on the sofa, petting her tail, a distressed expression on her beautiful face. She grunts softly, her incredulous gaze going from Blitzø's purchases to the twins.

« Da… Blitzø! What the fuck have you done, this time? »

Chapter 5: The daughter

Summary:

This conversation is definitely not going the way it should…

Notes:

Thanks for the comments and kudos! ❤️

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Loony looks like she's about to blow a fuse. Which Blitzø understands. He really does. But he's also very much aware that the twins have just fallen asleep and he'd rather they didn't wake up screaming, so the moment Loony opens her mouth to speak (or more accurately yell), he puts the spade-shaped tip of his tail to her lips to shut her up.

He's very lucky she doesn't bite it off, to be honest.

« It’s not what you think », he hurriedly says, in a low voice.

He fully deserves the incredulous looks she gives him in return.

« What I think is that you're bringing babies into our home without even talking to me first! » she replies in a shrill voice.

« Okay, that's exactly what you think. But I swear I can explain. And please keep your voice down, you'll wake them up! »

Blitzø is so nervous that his tail swings from side to side. He regrets not having his hands free to run over his face. This is not going well. And if one more cliché passes his lips, he's going to strangle himself with his own tail. He feels like he's in one of those Hell-e-novelas that Stolas loves so mu…

(Fuck. And he'd been doing so well not to think directly about the bird lately!

« And I told you that avoidance was the worst way to deal with the problem! », comments his therapist's voice from the back of his mind, with just a little bit of smugness in her tone.

« Fuck you. This isn't the time! » he replies mentally.)

« Of course », Loony says, rolling her eyes, an expression of disgust on her face, even as she lowers her voice. « Who did you knock up? Tell me it wasn't Verosika! If I never see Vortex again, it'll be too soon. »

Blitzø is both grateful and sad that his daughter ended her friendship with Verosika's bodyguard after what happened at that damn party. Even if he refuses to acknowledge that his Loony Toony is a mature adult in every sense of the word, Blitzø is well aware that she's had a crush on the older hellhound, while also considering him a big brother of sorts. But he supposes that, in the end, she loved her father a little more than him.

« I didn't knock anyone up! » he protests indignantly. « Especially not Verosika! As if I wanted her collection of STDs! »

Blitzø may have been sincere when he apologized for his previous behavior at the end of the shitfest Verosika called a party, but that doesn't mean he forgave her for throwing those parties in the first place. As his therapist pointed out, two wrongs don't make a right, and his own anger at his ex is valid, despite everything he's put her through.

(Though his therapist would not be happy about him continuing to insult Verosika so freely.)

« Sure, Dad. And I'm a bar of soap. »

Even though he's frustrated by the turn the conversation has taken, Blitzø can't help but wag his tail happily, as he does every time Loony calls him Dad. It proves that she cares about him, if only a little.

« They're not mine! » he tries again. « They're your aunt’s. »

This time, Loony looks him straight in the eye, a look of utter disbelief on her face.

« Which aunt? »

« What do you mean, which aunt? I'll have you know I only have one sister! » he replies with a grunt, a little upset that she doesn't seem to remember Barbie.

« I didn't even know you had one! »

Didn't she? But after the camp disaster and Barbie's horrible words to him... Now that he thinks about it, Blitzø realizes that Moxxie was the only other I.M.P. employee present at the time, as Millie was singing on stage instead of doing her fucking job. That may explain why Blitzø and Moxxie had such a hard time fighting Barbie, actually.

Blitzø will never admit it to anyone, least of all her, but Millie is a much better fighter than he and Moxxie put together, even if she’s useless with a gun or rifle in her hands... well, not totally useless, he’s pretty sure she could use it to smash someone's face in. Besides, it's probably a good thing she wasn't around at the time, as she has a tendency to go overboard and could have seriously injured his sister... and the twins.

Out of instinct, Blitzø holds them closer.

Loony’s beautiful red eyes widen and a look of betrayal briefly appears on her face. Blitzø’s heart squeezes painfully, but he knows from experience how she'll react if he tries to hug her.

Besides, his arms are already full.

Instead, he shrugs and says:

« Well I have a twin sister, Barbie Wire. Which means you have an aunt. »

« Why didn't you mention her before? » Loony asks, frowning.

« Probably because she hates my guts », he replies without thinking, with a self-deprecating smile.

Loony's eyes widen even more and she takes a step forward, tentatively placing a hand on his shoulder.

« I’m sorry, Dad. »

Whatever happens, he'll always accept any gesture of affection his daughter wants to give him. Even if they usually come when he's at his lowest.

(The only hug she ever gave Blitzø unprompted was when he came back from the worst party ever, heartbroken and so full of self-loathing that he might have done something stupid if he'd been alone. Luckily, Loony was home, for once, and as soon as she saw his face, she sat him down on the couch and demanded he explain what had happened. Although Blitzø did his best to play it down, she got so upset on his behalf that he had to stop her from running to the fucking party and ripping Verosika's throat out with her bare teeth after knocking out her bodyguard.

It's probably a good thing he didn't mention Stolas' involvement.

When he finally managed to calm her down a bit, Loony simply blocked Vortex and Verosika on Sinstagram and hasn’t spoken to the hellhound since.

What Blitzø didn't tell her, what he didn't tell anyone but his therapist in fact, was how proud he was of his daughter's instinctive, violent reaction. His therapist told him that it wasn't the violence itself that made him so proud, but the fact that Loony was so eager to defend his honor. This was implicit proof of the depth of the bond between father and daughter. Since Blitzø didn't want to repeat the twenty-minute lecture on self-image and the relative concept of beauty she'd given him when he let slip that his latest ex's new guy was much better looking and fitter than he was, he simply nodded and changed the subject.

But he knows the truth. Sure, he's genuinely moved that Loony was willing to stick up for him. But he's even happier that she thought of doing it in such a bloody way.

She's definitely her dad’s daughter.)

« Well... Barbie has her reasons », he replies with an embarrassed wince. « But anyway, these are her twins. The girl's name is Pepper and the Boy is Lobster. »

Loony's gaze falls on the babies and she raises an eyebrow.

« I doubt she gave them those names », she says, frowning.

Blitzø shrugs.

« Their real names should be in the letter your aunt left me… »

Suddenly, he doesn't know where he put the letter. Or the basket. Or the patchwork plaid.

« Hold them a minute, will you? » he says, handing her the twins.

Loony leaps back with a panicked expression.

« ARE YOU INS… » she yells, but Blitzø silences her once more with the tip of his tail.

They both look at the twins with bated breath. When they don't even stir, Loony starts again, in a much lower voice this time:

« Are you crazy? I've never held a baby in my life! What if I dropped them? »

Something very tender blossoms in Blitzø's chest. She's so much his daughter, indeed.

« It's alright. I'll show you. It's very easy, you'll see. »

Blitzø grabs her right wrist with his tail and makes her open her hand, before gently placing Lobster in it. The baby is so small that most of his body rests in Loony's palm. Blitzø deposits Pepper in the crook of his own arm and gently adjusts his daughter's grip on the other twin.

« See, the trick is to support their heads. Now, with his sister… »

Although her entire body is frozen with fear, Loony instinctively opens her other hand and lets Blitzø place Pepper in it. He readjusts his daughter’s grip on both twins until he's satisfied, then tenderly pats her cheek and even dares to give her a brief peck.

« See? Nothing too complicated. Now breathe! »

Loony is indeed still holding her breath so as not to move. She takes a deep breath and, hesitantly, tilts her hands a little to get a better look at the twins.

« They're kind of cute, I guess... are those wings? »

Blitzø nods darkly and rolls his eyes.

« It seems my sister has strayed with a fucking incubus! »

« Well... she's not the only one in the family… », Loony replies with a sly, knowing smile.

Blitzø, being the mature adult that he is, blows her a raspberry.

« You’re supposed to be on my side! »

« I would be if you'd tell me what happened between you and your sister! »

And just like that, his good mood is gone.

Blitzø wraps his arms around his middle and his tail around his legs in an instinctive gesture of protection, ducking his head in shame.

« I’m sorry, Dad. I didn't mean to… »

Blitzø forces himself to breathe steadily despite the steel fist that has just gripped his heart and the big lump inside his throat.

« No, it's okay, Loony. And you're right. It's just... It's... very difficult for me to talk about, that's all. »

« You don't have to if you don't want to. I promise! » Loony says, and her willingness to make things right brings a small smile to her father's lips.

« I do. I swear I do. But I'm not ready yet. Let's just say your aunt has reason to be angry with me, good reason... but what happened was an accident. »

As usual, the disturbing feeling of being a liar and a fraud spreads through him. His therapist says it will lessen with time, because it was in fact an accident, but so far he's seen no improvement at all.

« It's okay, Dad », Loony says softly as she kneels in front of him, the twins still in her hands.« Everything's going to be okay. »

Blitzø takes a few deep breaths and, once he's sure he's not going to have another breakdown, says:

« So, about the twins… Where the fuck did I put that basket? Shit. Maybe I left it at the neighbor’s! »

« I don't know if this is helpful or not, but there was a basket with some sort of blanket in it by the door when I came home earlier. I left it outside », Loony replies.

Blitzø opens the door, and there's the basket, with the plaid neatly folded and the letter on top. Plus a little tin box full of cookies.

« Score! », he exclaims with a grin, before taking everything inside and reading the letter again. « So, according to your aunt, the boy's name is Lobster Beo and the girl's name is Pepper Belle. »

« Let me guess... she just named them Beo and Belle? » Loony replies, unimpressed.

Blitzø rolls his eyes.

« If you want to get technical… »

He's surprised by a sudden yawn. But it’s late and the night has been full of twists and turns.

His gaze shifts from the basket to all the crap he bought at the store. On the one hand, he knows - or thinks - that the twins will be perfectly comfortable in the basket for one night. On the other hand, they'd certainly sleep better in a real crib.

« Loony Toony… » he begins, with his most pleading eyes. « How about helping your old man build a bed for your little cousins? »

Notes:

It turned out a little more angsty and emotional than anticipated, but I hope you still like it.

Next step: the employees (aka 'You’re never too young to join a team of specialized assassins!')

But it will have to wait for a little while, as I really need a break. I’ve been writing almost non stop for the past too months and I’m exhausted.
I’ll be back, I promise!

Chapter 6: The employees

Summary:

One takes the news much better than the other…

Notes:

I'm sorry for the delay in publication, and I'm afraid it won't get better in the near future, but at least I'm still working on this fic.
I hope you'll like the chapter!

Chapter Text

This morning, after breakfast, Loony and Blitzø had a little chat and decided it would be best if she went to work first to prepare M&M for the news, because it was going to be a big shock.

For Moxxie, anyway. Blitzø is convinced that nothing can really shock Millie. And indeed, the first to react to Loony's announcement is the male imp, in a voice so strident that Blitzø tenses up, fearing it might put the twins in a tizzy.

Instead, Lobster gives him a toothless smile, while Pepper wraps her tiny tail around Blitzø's middle finger. Frankly, these two are pretty cute. And a lot easier to deal with than their mother, that’s for sure.

« What do you mean, 'a family emergency’? »

« What do you think, Fatty? » Loony replies, and Blitzø is almost certain she's rolling her eyes. «There was a problem in da… Blitzø’s family and it was pretty urgent. Hence the terms ‘family’ and ‘emergency’.»

« Since when does Blitzø have a family? And STOP CALLING ME THAT!!! » yells Moxxie.

This time the loud, shrill sound is enough to set off the two screaming machines.

« I’m going to fucking kill him », growls Blitzø, pressing two fingers to his suddenly throbbing eye. « Slowly, and painfully. »

He begins to rock the twins, gently stroking their heads in turn. They calm down a little, but not completely.

(Of course, it would have been too easy. Fucking Moxxie!)

« Is there a baby crying outside? » wonders Millie aloud.

« Good job, moron! » groans Loony, almost at the same time. « You made both of them cry… »

« Both of them? What the… » replies Moxxie.

The door swings open abruptly and Blitzø finds himself facing his two employees. Their gazes go from him to the crying twins on his chest. Moxxie's jaw drops as Millie puts her palms to her cheeks and squeals with delight. Blitzø can swear her pupils are now heart-shaped.

« They're so cuuuuuuuute! » she exclaims.

« No shrill sounds, Mills, please », Blitzø groans. « Especially after your idiot husband managed to make them cry… »

The only answer Moxxie can give is to splutter. Blitzø regrets that his arms are busy at the moment, because the young imp looks so stupid he'd make a perfect photo for their Sinsmas cards.

« Loony, take Lobster, you have a better connection with him, anyway! » he says instead.

It's clear from the look on his daughter's face that she doesn't buy the excuse for a second, but she complies all the same and carefully takes the baby boy from the sling. Loony is much more confident today than last night, and even tickles Lobster's tummy with her fingertip once he's settled in the crook of her arm. The baby stops crying and looks up at her with big eyes and a drool bubble at the corner of his mouth. He's disgustingly cute, and Blitzø isn't at all surprised when Millie lets out another squeal and reaches for him, making grabby fingers.

« Can I take one? Please, please, please! »

« Have you ever held a baby, Mills? » asks Blitzø warily, squinting his eyes and wrapping his arms protectively around the sling where Pepper still rests.

Loony doesn't move, but she bares her teeth in a defensive display.

« No », Millie replies with a pout, « but I used to take care of hell piglets all the time on my parents' farm when I was younger! »

Blitzø rolls his eyes.

« Imp babies are nothing like piglets, Mills! They're a lot more delicate, for a start! And you're not supposed to... you know... eat them!!! »

« Well I have looked after babies, several times in fact, and I can supervise », retorts Moxxie, who seems to have finally come to his senses.

« When the fuck did you get a chance to take care of a baby? » asks Loony, raising a skeptic eyebrow.

Moxxie’s cheeks get red and he lowers his eyes.

« When I was younger, I wanted to be a nurse and my mother took me to Sloth's imp-only hospital several times to show me what it was like. The nurses in the maternity ward were very nice and even let me help », he says sheepishly.

« Really? » ask Loony and Millie in tandem, the former incredulous, the latter enamored.

Moxxie just nods, his cheeks almost burgundy.

Not so long ago, Blitzø would have taken the opportunity to make fun of him. But not only is he trying to be a better imp and a better friend, with the help of his therapist, but since yesterday, he has a lot more respect for people who take care of babies on purpose. So, instead of making a belittling comment, he asks with honest curiosity:

« Why didn't you become a nurse, then? »

« My father », simply replies Moxxie with a shrug.

He doesn't need to add anything. Blitzø imagines all too well how that motherfucker Crimson would have reacted to the news of his son’s aspiration. Crimson might be okay with having a « gay » son, especially if he could sell him as a bride to a potential, successful heir-in-law, but a son who wanted to help the weak? That would never do.

« I’m sorry, Moxxie », he says. « For what it's worth, I think you would have made a very good nurse. »

« Yeah, you're so anally repressed you'd have kept those kids so safe », Loony adds in a sort of backhanded compliment.

Moxxie looks at her with narrowed eyes, but doesn't comment.

« Moxx... if you want, you can still try to become a nurse. You know I'd totally support you, right? », says Millie, taking her husband's hands in hers and giving him that bright, loving smile that Blitzø has always secretly envied.

His first reaction, on the other hand, is to protest violently. Moxxie is an important part of I.M.P. He's one of their sharpshooters (and, although Blitzø would never admit it to anyone, ever, a better shot than his boss). Plus their group dynamic is good, they work well together, and it would be fucking complicated to find someone to replace him.

But then he remembers what his therapist said the other day, that he considers M&M more like family than employees, or even friends. And if they're family, Blitzø should want them to be happy, even if it doesn't work out for him, right?

(Blitzø suddenly wonders how his therapist will react to the appearance of the twins in his life. He'll find out soon enough, since they have an appointment in two days' time. Will he take the babies with him or entrust them to someone else? But who? He has complete faith in Loony, but is she comfortable with the idea of looking after her cousins alone for an hour or two? What if something goes wrong? Maybe he should give Moxxie a chance.)

« All right. Show me your skills then » he says, before pulling the little girl out of the sling and into the arms of the younger imp. « Her name's Pepper, by the way. »

« It's not », Loony retorts, without even looking at him. « She's named Belle. And he's Beo. But Dad... I mean Blitzø decided to call him Lobster, for some reason. »

Blitzø can't decide whether Millie is more jealous of her husband holding the baby first, or smitten with the idea of him holding a baby at all. He himself has to admit that, past the first moments of surprise, Moxxie seems totally confident with Pepper, making faces at her and cradling her against him with ease.

In any case, the baby seems to like him, and Blitzø has to make an effort not to snatch her back out of sheer jealousy. He's trying to be a better imp. He really tries. But it's not easy.

After a couple of minutes, Moxxie puts the baby in Millie’s arms and shows her how to support Pepper’s head. His gestures are both careful and precise and Blitzø has to admit that he’s great at this.

« If you really want to become a nurse », he says reluctantly, « I suppose we could adjust your schedule until you've completed your studies… »

M&M look at him in surprise. Millie gives him a soft, affectionate smile, while Moxxie merely blinks a few times, before shaking his head.

« Thanks, but no », he says. « I like working here. And I'm not sure I’d have the patience to study. But maybe… » he glances shyly at Millie and swallows visibly. « Maybe I can use this opportunity to practice for the day when we have our own… »

« Oh Moxx… » Millie whispers, before kissing him tenderly.

Blitzø is about to tell her to watch the baby, when he realizes that not only is she still holding Pepper carefully against her chest, but that Moxxie himself is placing a hand on hers to steady her grip.

These two will make great parents one day.

« Yeah, well... I hope you're not planning on running the baby factory just yet », Loony replies with a blasé air, before placing Lobster back in her father's arms, « because there's actually only so many kids I can tolerate at one time. And my limit was reached yesterday. Now, do as you please, but I'm going to do my job. »

Chapter 7: The succu-bitch

Summary:

Blitzø makes an unpleasant encounter while shopping for the twins...

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

« Blitzø », says Moxxie, whose slightly shaky voice lets his boss and friend know that his patience is wearing thin, « for the last time, this is not a good playpen. It's not safe and the babies could hurt themselves on the edges. »

« But... But it's red! » Blitzø replies, puffing out his cheeks.

Moxxie lets out a deep sigh and rubs his forehead in annoyance.

« You're worse than an actual child, I swear. Look... if you want a red playpen, we can always paint one red, but you brought me along to help you choose the most appropriate items for the twins, so that's what I'm doing. »

« Fine », grumbles Blitzø, « but I'll buy the stuffed horse. »

« It's too big for babies! » groans Moxxie.

« Then I'll buy it for myself! And I'll make them a mobile with horses for their crib », retorts Blitzø, crossing his arms.

« I guess that'll do, then. »

« Good! »

Blitzø defiantly puts the big red stuffed horse in the cart, along with the boring beige playpen. They'll have to buy red paint, but he doubts they'll find any in the store, as it's exclusively dedicated to babies. Blitzø didn't even know such a store existed in Imp City. He’s still a bit surprised that Moxxie knew, but as the younger imp became increasingly frustrated with him while they were shopping, he decided not to ask.

(He'll arrange for Millie to make him tell instead, as soon as they're back at I.M.P. 's headquarters.)

Blitzø quietly pushes the cart along, observing the nightlights on display, when someone else's cart almost crashes into him from the side.

« Watch where you're going, asshole! »

Looking up, he realizes with amazement that not only is the asshole a woman, but he actually knows her. She's part of Verosika's little crew of STD spreaders. The thin one with the completely see-through fishnet top and the little hearts on her nipples, What’s-her-name, who played bass when... when He sang that awful song. Except right now, she's wearing an ill-fitting black hoodie and jeans. Blitzø didn't even know that Verosika's sluts owned this type of clothing.

« Sorry, you're so irrelevant I didn't even see you », the succu-bitch replies with pursed lips, before turning to Moxxie with a flirtatious smile. « Hey, cutie. Remember me? »

« Hello ma'am », says the younger imp, with a faint blush.

Blitzø remembers that the first time his employees crossed paths with his ex and her cronies, Moxxie naively thought he could talk to the heinous harpy Blitzø used to date (yes, he knows he's supposed to stop insulting Verosika, but as long as it's in his head and not in front of her, he's pretty sure it's okay). Five minutes later, the younger imp returned covered in lipstick marks. He assumes that one of them was made by that particular succu-bitch.

« Leave him alone, he doesn't need your STDs », Blitzø snarls. « What the fuck are you doing here, anyway? »

Looking at her shopping cart, he sees a few books on parenting, two black outfits so small the twins could wear them and a tiny plushie of a duck in a goth outfit. That's when he realizes that some things just don't add up. Her outfit. Her being alone, without Verosika or any of the other sluts. The fact that she's here, of all places. And the contents of her cart, the most damning evidence.

« Are you fucking pregnant? » he exclaims in disbelief.

« Sir! You can't ask someone that! It's just not done! » urgently whispers Moxxie.

But Blitzø barely hears the younger imp, for his gaze is still fixed on the succu-bitch, who pales, then reddens, and whose hands begin to shake. She looks down.

« Listen... I'm sorry, okay? » she says at last. « It wasn't on purpose. I really didn't see you. Don't... don't tell anyone you saw me here. Please. »

She looks both ashamed and frightened. Obviously, the other sluts don't know about her pregnancy. Blitzø doesn't see how this can work in the long run, unless she wants to terminate it, but that's her problem, not his. He shrugs.

« Sure. It's not like your little team of STD spreaders and I meet regularly, you know? »

« Yeah », she sighs, before looking at the contents of his own cart. « Wait... are you…? »

Something in her tone rubs him the wrong way.

« Am I what? » he replies, narrowing his eyes and baring his teeth.

« Did you knock someone up? » she clarifies, lowering her voice.

Blitzø is really tempted to tell her to shove her stupid question where the red pentagram never shines, but he can almost hear his therapist's calm voice in the back of his mind.

« If we want to break the cycle and get along with other people, we have to use our words to communicate, not attack. »

To be honest, Blitzø isn't at all sure he wants to get along with other people. In his experience, other people mostly suck. But he’s all about breaking the cycle. This fucking cycle has cost him everything and made him miserable. So he forces himself to breathe and answers, as calmly as he can manage:

« Why do people keep asking me that? »

« Because it's a logical assumption, si… Blitzø », Moxxie replies haughtily.

« Fuck you, Moxxie », Blitzø retorts, giving him the finger.

(Obviously, the cycle won't be broken in a matter of weeks. It will be a slow, long and painful process, he can already tell.)

« And no, I didn't knock anybody up. In fact, it was a fucking incubus who knocked up my sister. Maybe someone you know? »

The succu-bitch flinches and pales again. Blitzø feels a kind of vindication in her reaction. He'd gladly turn his back on her and get on with his shopping, but of course Moxxie, the eternal people-pleaser, won't allow it.

« His sister had to go away for a few weeks and she left him with her twin babies », he explains with a gentle smile. « We're buying things to make the office baby-friendly. »

« Do you really have to tell her everything about our lives, Moxxie? »

« Don’t worry. It's not like I have anyone to talk to about it », she comments with a bitter smile, before frowning. « Wait... your sister's an imp and the father's an incubus, right? »

Blitzø gives her an incredulous look.

« Am I really supposed to answer such a stupid question? »

« No... I mean... so... those babies are half-breed? »

The flippancy of the question infuriates him. Blitzø knows all too well what most Hellborns think of his kind. It's not glorious. Quite the opposite, in fact. Pretty much everyone considers imps to be the lowest of the low. That's one of the reasons he decided to set up his own business in the first place. To show all those fuckers what a ‘lowly imp’ like him could do if he put his mind to it.

(Of course, he literally had to whore himself to succeed. And he got his heart broken in the process. But since he hurt him too, Blitzø thinks that last part is well-deserved.)

« Seriously? Are you that offended that one of your own has mixed his purebred blood with one of mine? » he growls bitterly, his tail swinging furiously behind him.

Even Moxxie is giving the succu-bitch a reproachful look now.

She shakes her head violently and puts a hand to her belly. Blitzø isn't sure if she's aware of this gesture, but it's revealing enough.

« Wait a minute... is the father an imp? »

Blitzø is aware that he's the one looking shocked now, and the irony isn't lost on him.

And to tell the truth, he doesn't even know why he's so surprised. After all, his relationship with Verosika, even if it eventually turned sour, proves that succubi can be attracted to male imps. And the reverse is true, otherwise Lobster and Pepper wouldn't have been born. Incidentally, more than half the attendees at the fucking hatefest were either succubi or incubi, proving that he used to have a type before he was ruined by a certain bird.

« I… I've got to go », says the succu-bitch, turning her cart away and running as fast as her long legs will take her.

For the first time since his half-assed apology tour, Blitzø feels a little ashamed of himself. He probably shouldn't have been so hard on her. Sure, she helped Verosika belittle him more than once, but he gave as good as he got, so he can't really blame her for that.

Besides, if she's pregnant with a half-imp baby, her life is about to become a real shitshow. Having a half-breed baby when you're an imp is hard enough, but when you're a higher Hellborn? As Moxxie would say, it’s ‘just not done’. Besides, Blitzø can't imagine Verosika or any of the other sluts welcoming a baby into their midst, especially a half-breed one. No wonder What’s-her-name asked him to keep it a secret.

He actually feels sorry for her. Her future looks pretty bleak.

« Do you think we should go looking for her? » asks Moxxie, worrying his bottom lip with his teeth.

The poor guy's too nice. It's one of his most endearing qualities, to be honest, but if he's not careful, he's going to get eaten alive.

« I don't think she'd want that », Blitzø replies frankly. « In fact, I'm pretty sure she never wants to see us again. So... how about a horse nightlight? »

Notes:

(You expected another succu-bitch, right? Verosika will appear, eventually. Not only does she and Blitzø still have unfinished business, but despite what he believes, we haven’t seen the last of Kiki…
I actually have a plot, other than «Let’s put Blitzø in cute situationsand see him being such a dad», which don’t get me wrong, definitely will happen too. So if you’re here for baby cuteness, please stay tuned. You’re at the right place. But otherwise, actual stuff will be happening in this story, some of them a bit heavy, although I’ll try to keep the angst level low-ish…)

Chapter 8: The therapist

Summary:

Maybe going to therapy with the twins wasn’t the best idea

Notes:

I know, it's been a while...
I hope you still enjoy it!

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Blitzø has been sitting in his therapist's waiting room for less than fifteen minutes, but he can't remember ever being so nervous. Not even at the very beginning, when he absolutely didn't want to be there and Millie had to force him.

(Literally, in the case of the very first appointment. He'd taken it two weeks before, right after the axe threat, but changed his mind at the last minute, saying it was stupid and too late for him anyway. So Millie knocked him out and carried him to the therapist's office, where she waited with him until it was time for his appointment. Afterwards she treated him to breakfast in a nice diner, even if Blitzø didn't have much of an appetite. And she was kind enough not to comment on the fact that he was still crying.)

At least the twins are behaving. In the end, Blitzø decided to take them with him, as leaving them behind would have made him too anxious, although Loony and Millie took good care of them while he and Moxxie went shopping the other day.

« ’s gonna be fine », he murmurs, more to reassure himself than Pepper and Lobster, who don't look very worried at the moment.

« Mr. Buckzo? » says a nasally voice and Blitzø lifts his head to look at his therapist's secretary, a bitch from Envy who hates his guts.

« Yeah? » Blitzø replies in a strained voice, waiting for her to start blaming him for one thing or another.

(Just because he showed up that one time right after a mission and got blood all over the waiting room, she treats him like he's dirt incarnate.)

So he’s very surprised when she asks, in an almost polite tone:

« Do you need anything for the babies? »

He looks at her, waiting for the other shoe to drop. Except she’s focused on the sling where Lobster and Pepper rest, with something akin to a smile. It's the first time he's seen that expression on her face, and it's more than a little unsettling, to be honest.

« No, I'm fine », Blitzø replies with an awkward shrug.

He didn't take any chances before leaving the house, making sure the twins were fed, changed and well rested.

« Well, if you need anything, don't hesitate to ask me. »

Blitzø would never have believed that the bitch liked babies, but in her defense, the same could have been said of him. Yet after only three days he has already become so used to the twins that he has to remind himself that this is only a temporary situation. Sooner or later, Barbie will come to her senses and take her kids back.

(He’s going to miss them, he can already tell.)

« Mr. Buckzo », calls the secretary a few minutes later, « Doctor Brimstone is expecting you. »

Blitzø gets up and Lobster opens his silver eyes wide. For once, it's Pepper who's still asleep. As the male is notoriously the noisier of the two, Blitzø holds his breath, but the little boy just gives him a toothless smile, so he gently strokes his forehead and Lobster wraps his tiny tail around his finger.

« He's adorable », says the secretary with a fond smile. « I didn't know you had children. »

« They're not mine. They're my sister's. She's away for a few weeks. »

« Well, you take very good care of them, I can tell. »

She's never been this nice to him before. Blitzø doesn't know how to react.

« Can I... uh... take them with me to the doctor’s office? »

« Yes, don't worry, I've already warned her. »

« Ah... uh... thank you. »

And she even gives him a fucking wink before ushering him into his therapist's office.

(Blitzø is seriously considering the possibility that the secretary has been replaced by a body snatcher. And if so, whether he should tell anyone. To be honest, he's not sure that's a bad thing. Going to see his therapist will be much less stressful if Blitzø doesn't have to endure the insistent disapproval of her watchdog every time he sets foot in the waiting room.)

As he opens the door, his therapist greets him with her habitual calm.

« Welcome back Blitzø », she says. « Please have a seat. »

Generally, he takes the couch, because it's closer to the candy jar, but the support isn't ideal; most of the time, the imp ends up half sitting, half lying down. He doesn't really mind, because it's a very comfortable couch, much more so than the one he used to sleep on in their crappy old apartment. But he's not entirely sure it's a comfortable position for the twins. So for once, he settles on the armchair directly opposite his therapist. Since the seat is too far away from the candy jar, Blitzø grabs it on the way. He sits, opens the jar and defiantly starts munching on a gummy worm.

His therapist remains unfazed.

« What would you like to start this session with? » she asks, as she has every time except the first, when she did most of the talking.

« Are you blind? » he retorts, gesturing to the sling where Lobster is still staring at him with wide eyes, his little tail still wrapped around his uncle's finger.

« One of the first rules of therapy is to avoid influencing your patient with your own bias », his therapist calmly retorts. « Just because you brought babies to our appointment doesn't mean you're ready or even willing to talk about them. »

Blitzø can see her point. And while he doesn't mind talking about the twins themselves, it would be difficult to do so without mentioning his sister. She, on the other hand, remains one of the three subjects he doesn't want to broach.

« Yeah, well... it's complicated », he groans.

« It usually is. Take your time. »

« I have a twin sister », he begins after a long pause. « Her name is Barbie. We were very close growing up, but then... well, the circus fire happened and then we weren't. She… »

He wants to say ‘hates my guts’, which is the truth, after all (and she's not the only one, by the way), but the words remain stuck in his throat, refusing to leave it.

« Anyway, we haven't seen each other in months. I didn't know she was pregnant at the time. So it was a fucking shock when she dropped off her twins on my doorstep out of the blue. »

« How did it go? » asks his therapist, when it becomes clear that he has nothing more to say on the subject.

« It didn't. She didn't have the decency to make sure I'd look after her own kids! », he retorts bitterly.

(Apparently, Blitzø is angrier with Barbie than he first thought).

« You haven't seen her, I take it? »

« No, that bitch abandoned them on my doorstep, without so much as a goodbye. »

« How does that make you feel? »

« Seriously? » Blitzø asks, indignant. « Isn’t it obvious? »

She holds his gaze for a long moment, with the same serene expression.

« Oh, I have my theory, but I want to hear it from you. »

« I’m furious. They're her kids. She could at least have made sure they were safe! »

(The thought of Pepper and Lobster all alone in their basket, where anything could have happened to them, makes his blood boil. What if he hadn't stopped to check the basket? What if he'd decided to drink himself into a stupor instead of going home? It could have gone wrong in so many different ways...)

His therapist gives him a small smile.

« That's what I thought. »

« Care to share with me, doc? »

Instead of answering, she asks another question.

« What makes you think she didn’t? »

« They were. In a fucking basket. In the middle of the fucking street. At night! More than that, she left them to me, the least nurturing person in all of Hell! »

(Okay, it was his front porch and the beginning of the evening, but same difference. Besides, Barbie had no way of guessing when he'd return. They've grown so far apart in the last fifteen years that they no longer know each other.)

He's seething, and unfortunately, it’s perceptible in his voice and the tension in his body. Enough for Lobster to start wailing. With a loud sigh, Blitzø takes the baby out of his sling and starts rocking him, hoping against all odds that the little noise factory won't wake his sister.

Fat chance. He finds himself rocking two screaming babies in no time, and it takes him a good three minutes to calm them down, during which time his therapist just looks on, a small smile playing on her lips.

Wherever Barbie is right now, he hopes she's in pain.

« On the contrary, it seems to me that she has chosen the perfect guardian », comments his therapist when the twins finally fall silent.

Lobster is wrapped around Blitzø's left arm with all his limbs and tail, rubbing his little face on his uncle's palm, while his sister happily nibbles on his skull necklace.
Blitzø gives his therapist the stink eye.

« Are you high? »

« Hardly. Your sister clearly knew that you would take good care of her children, and there's nothing to tell you that she didn't wait on the sidelines to make sure they would be safe until you got home. »

Blitzø thinks his therapist gives his irresponsible sister far too much credit, but he has to admit it's not completely impossible.

« Maybe », he grudgingly admits.

« I couldn't help noticing that the reason you got so angry was about the twins. »

« Well... duh! »

« But not for getting sole responsibility for two young children you've never met before. »

« I… guess so », he replies, not quite sure where she's going with this.

« So if you care more about their welfare than your own, that de facto makes you a better guardian than you think. »

He's pretty sure her reasoning is wrong, because who but a former junkie would leave innocent babies to someone like him? But the reasons escape him for the moment. Probably because he hasn't slept in the last two nights, too afraid that something might happen to the twins.

Otherwise, he'd have come up with some excellent arguments, he's sure.

« Now that that's settled, let's talk about your twin sister… »

Blitzø loved Barbie his whole life. Loves her still, despite everything. She was his better half and part of him mourns her, as he mourns their mom.

But boy does he hope she’s suffering for everything she put him through...

Notes:

Next time, it's Fizz's turn to meet the babies...

Chapter 9: The friend

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

It's been almost a week and they've managed to build up a routine around the twins. Pepper and Lobster have inserted themselves so easily into their lives, it's as if they've always been there.

In the old days, Loony was usually the first one up, as Blitzø was never a morning person. She took so long to get ready, though, that her father was usually cooking breakfast long before she finally left the bathroom. These days, however, the twins (who are very early risers, those little bastards) wake him up at the ass-crack of dawn. Which means he has plenty of time to get up, clean and feed them, then start preparing breakfast before Loony even wakes up. Blitzø then leaves the twins in their cousin's care, showers briefly and gets dressed, after which he has a quick breakfast and watches over the babies while his daughter grooms herself. The grooming is now much quicker. It has to be, because the twins are a handful this early in the morning. Especially as the two adults looking after them are barely awake...

When everyone is ready, they leave for the office. In the old days, M&M were always right on time, then Blitzø would join them within the hour, and Loony when she felt like it. Nowadays, Blitzø needs all hands on deck to look after the wiggly little fuckers. So he and Loony have become models of punctuality, allowing them to leave Moxxie to look after the babies while they enjoy their second, third and fourth cups of coffee. They need at least that to get back to normally functioning Hellborns.

« I still can't believe you're not more at ease with these little critters », Loony comments as she sips her third cup of coffee. « I thought you had younger brothers. Several of them, in fact. »

Millie gives her a murderous look, while Moxxie gently readjusts her grip on Lobster. In Mills' defense, the male baby is particularly restless this morning. Blitzø is much less worried than on the first day, because he knows Millie won't let the baby fall or get hurt. She may not be as comfortable with the twins as the others, but she's still a doting aunt.
(He had nothing to say about it; she self-proclaimed herself, along with Moxxie, honorary aunt and uncle. Since they helped so much and did a lot more than their job description expected of them, he decided to let it slide.

Blitzø is by far the twins' favorite uncle, anyway…)

« I told you: my brothers were heinous little beasts when they were babies. And my sister was even worse. She once bit me so hard I bled. I've still got a scar there, look…»

As Millie is showing them her left arm, holding Lobster in the crook of her right one, the office door opens with a loud bang.

« Blitzø Buckzo! How dare you stand me up and not even answer my messages! » shouts a familiar and incredibly aggrieved voice.

That's when two things happen simultaneously: Blitzø realizes that it's Wednesday and he totally missed yesterday's lunch date with Fizz... and the loud noise upset the twins.

« Oh fuck… », he says to both at once.

Millie hurriedly holds Lobster up to Moxxie, who starts rocking him and his sister with a reproachful look at the jester. Fizz's mouth opens wide, as his gaze goes from the twins to Moxxie... and to Blitzø. Count on his former best friend to notice the obvious resemblance.

« What the fuck? Who did you knock up? Tell me it wasn't Verosika », he adds, when he notices the obvious signs of the twins’ incubus heritage.

« I really wish everyone would stop thinking that », Blitzø replies, offended.

« It's a logical assumption », Loony comments, shrugging and taking another sip of her coffee.

« Excuse me? »

« Well, you and Verosika still have very strong feelings for each other », Millie replies with an apologetic grimace.

« Yes, feelings of spite and loathing. »

« Ever heard of hate sex? » Moxxie interjects with a smug grin.

« Guys, can we stop talking about my dad's sex life? » asks Loony with a disgusted eye roll. « Me and the twins are going to be traumatized forever. Aren't we, little critter? »

She takes Lobster from Moxxie's arms and starts tickling his belly, until he howls with delight. Blitzø looks at them tenderly, while flipping Moxxie off. He then takes Pepper from the younger imp's arms and hands her to Fizz:

« I’m really sorry I missed our lunch date. They’re not mine, they’re Barbie’s. Would you like to give your niece a hug? »

Fizz narrows his eyes, but takes the baby girl in his mechanical arms and nuzzles her with his nose.

« Hello little one », he murmurs in a soft voice he rarely uses these days. « My name is Fizzarolli, but you can call me Uncle Fizz. »

« Why can he take her without going through a whole interrogation? » Millie asks with an angry scowl.

« Because I've seen him with kids countless times », replies Blitzø.

It's a well-known fact that Fizz is great with kids of all ages. It's not for nothing that he became Mammon’s poster boy, as well as the model for Loo-Loo Land's favorite attraction. Some kids are terrified of clowns: during his short time at the theme park, Blitzø was relegated to selling poor-quality, overpriced merchandise, because his surly attitude made so many of them cry. But that never happened to Fizz. He's always managed to make kids smile. So Blitzø is not at all surprised when Pepper starts giggling and reaches for the pompom on his friend’s jester hat.

« I see. Come on, Millie, let's get to work », declares Moxxie haughtily.

As even he isn’t usually so touchy, Blitzø questions Millie with his eyes, but she purses her lips, avoids his gaze and follows her husband, sitting down at her desk where she starts to peruse papers.

Something is wrong. Millie never read papers. Blitzø doesn't remember her ever doing any type of administrative work. Confused, he looks at his daughter, but she's putting Lobster in Fizz's arms and doesn't seem to care in the least.

« What's wrong? » Blitzø asks M&M.

« Nothing, sir », replies Moxxie, with the same haughty expression, emphasizing the title he never uses anymore. « We're just your employees, so we’re doing our job. That's what you pay us for. »

Part of Blitzø wants to lash out and insult him for behaving like a prissy little bitch. But he can see that the younger imp is genuinely offended, even if he still doesn’t understand why.

« Come on, Moxxie, you know that's not true. You're not just my employee. You're also my... fr... friend. »

Out of the corner of his eye, he sees Millie perk up with a happy grin. Even Moxxie smiles briefly, before resuming his offended expression.

« Really? It seems to me that one is your friend... and I'm not sure that's the kind of company the twins should have », he says with a small nod toward the former jester, who's still getting acquainted with the babies.

« Are you kidding me? Usually, he's the one people like. Me, I'm the jerk everyone hates », Blitzø retorts, without a second thought.

« Oh B », Millie murmurs. « You know that's not true… »

The pity in her eyes and Moxxie's ashamed expression are suddenly too much to bear.

« I’m… I’m going on a coffee run », he says, rushing out of the office.

The excuse made a lot more sense when I.M.P. barely stayed out of the red and their coffee was so disgusting it could be used to clean drains. But with their new income, he's made some changes, buying decent furniture and a proper bean-to-cup percolator.

But old habits die hard, and all that. It's an excuse, anyway.

It takes Millie less than thirty seconds to catch up.

« B ! Wait! »

He wipes his face with his sleeve. He's not emotional. He's tired, it's not the same thing.

« What did I do wrong this time? » he grunts.

Millie sighs.

« It's not you, B. It's just.... Moxx is still having a hard time with the whole debacle at Ozzie’s. »

And then, finally, the pieces fall into place and Blitzø remembers that the last time M&M and Fizz met - the only time, in fact - was when the former jester mocked Moxxie's love song during their anniversary celebration at Ozzie's. The one Blitzø crashed into without a second thought. The one he brought him to... and which ended in spectacular disaster.

« Oh fuck! » he says, before running back to the office, where Moxxie is still working at his desk with a pinched expression, while Fizz cuddles the twins under Loony's watchful gaze.

« Moxxie! » he exclaims. « Fizz is sorry about what happened at Ozzie's during your anniversary. »

« I am? » asks his friend with a dubious expression, matching Moxxie's.

« He'll never make fun of your sappy love songs again... especially since he's even sappier than you. You should see him with his Deadly Sin… he's a real dope », he goes on, undeterred.

« Hey! » exclaims Fizz, vexed, while a small smile blooms on Moxxie's lips.

« And to make it up to you, he's going to offer you and Mills access to a VIP booth for another date of your choice... provided you don't sing a sappy song this time and just do sexy stuff with your wife… »

« Blitzø! »

Moxxie crosses his arms with a vexed expression, but Millie lets out a happy squeal.

« Oh B! Really? »

Blitzø ignores them both and looks his childhood best friend straight in the eye. Finally, Fizz groans, with a theatrical roll of his eyes.

« Okay, sorry about the roast and I'll see with Oz what I can do! » he says, without any apparent remorse, before narrowing his eyes at his friend. « It's a low blow to use my new niece and nephew against me, you know! »

« Yup », replies Blitzø with a shit-eating grin. « But in exchange, I'll bring your favorite back and we'll have a proper breakfast date. »

« Burgers? » asks Fizz with a hopeful expression.

« You know it! »

« Very well. Then they'll get your booth for one of Ozzie's exclusive events. »

This time, it's Blitzø's turn to exclaim ‘hey’ while Fizz gives him a smug smile. Blitzø flips his friend off and leaves the office again, slamming the door behind him and waiting just long enough to hear the twins' groans and Moxxie's indignation as he screams his name, before heading for the elevator.

He smiles and whistles his way to the coffee shop, where he waits his turn in the long queue without (too much) insulting the other customers.

It's almost his turn when a silky voice behind his back suddenly says:

« Isn't that the little motherfucker, Ace? »

« Looks like it, Josh. I hope they're extra clean with their equipment here. The last thing I'd want to do is drink from the same cup as a filthy imp », a second voice chuckles in response.

Clenching his fists, Blitzø turns to look behind him, where the two incu-bitches of Verosika’s crew stare at him with matching sneers, surrounding a very uncomfortable-looking succubus.

Notes:

Two chapters in a row, yay!
(To make up for lost time, although I can't tell you when the next one will be here, as it's a tricky one...)

Chapter 10: The apology

Summary:

Blitzø and Kiki meet again

Notes:

As several people have told me recently, I don't know how to stop. But now that the first part of the story is finished, I'm going to take a break for a few weeks. At some point.
I hope you'll like this chapter! 🩷

Chapter Text

« Is that really the best you can do? » Blitzø asks with a shit-eating grin. « Because if so, a teenage girl from last decade just called: she wants her insults back. »

« Well... fuck you, asshole! » replies the more handsome of the two, who sports tousled pinkish-silver hair and an inverted cross necklace.

For a brief second, Blitzø wonders if the incubus could be his sister's lover and the twins' father. But no, Barbie has spent years avoiding her brother; she wouldn't have stayed in the same town if she could have done otherwise. Besides, there are tons of hot incubi with the same hair color... and this one doesn't have silver eyes, in any case.

« Firstly, I'm a top, whereas you're clearly a bottom, so it would be the other way around and secondly, I happen to have standards », he replies sweetly.

The incubus just stares at him with angry eyes, his mouth opening and closing without uttering a single word, which gives him a striking resemblance to a fish dying of pollution on Greed's shore. Clearly, this one's not the sharpest tool in the box. Blitzø isn't really surprised, as Verosika always seemed to prefer pretty people to interesting ones. During their brief affair, Blitzø was the odd one out in her entourage, which made him very uncomfortable, even if he did his best to hide it by behaving even more like an asshole than usual.

(And yes, he's aware that he's supposed to stop lashing out at people, but use his words to communicate instead, yadda yadda yadda, but those fuckers started it. Blitzø is trying to get better, but he'll never be a fucking victim.)

He turns to the other two and raises an eyebrow. The taller incubus glares at him nastily, but the thin succubus looks more panicked than anything else.

« Please », she articulates, although no sound escapes her mouth.

Today, she wears a hoodie with a cleavage that's closer to her navel than to her neck, while still hiding said navel. Blitzø realizes that she expects him to betray her secret to her asshole friends. Except that on the one hand, he's given her his word and, on the other, he feels sorry for her. Maybe 'dirty' was just a cheap shot at him, but if she's spending her time with people who don't hesitate to use that kind of racial slur (and in the middle of Imp City, no less), it doesn't bode well for the baby growing inside of her.

Unless she's decided not to keep it after all.

He turns his gaze to the taller incu-bitch and gives him his most wicked smile. After a long moment, the other guy is the first to look away.

« Let's get out of here », he tells his two acolytes with an angry scowl. « This place sucks anyway. »

The silver-haired one follows immediately, but for a brief moment, the succubus seems to hesitate. She almost looks apologetic, which makes no sense to Blitzø. Anyway, she finally rushes behind her shitty friends and exits the coffee shop. The imp shrugs and turns back to the barista, only to realize that he's been watching the whole scene in silence, as have the other customers waiting in the queue. And they all look at Blitzø as if he were some kind of hero.

« That was awesome », whispers one of the teenage girls standing just behind him. « You totally shut that jerk up! »

« Uh, thanks », replies Blitzø, who can feel his cheeks heating up.

He's certainly not used to being praised for insulting someone. Usually, it's the opposite. Even now that he's trying to do better, Moxxie berates him all the time. Blitzø feels a little vindicated that people seem to appreciate his wit, to be honest.

« Yeah, they come in here all the time and that big spiky-haired douchebag makes degrading comments about imps pretty much on every visit », comments the barista with pursed lips.

« Never thought of spitting in his drink? » Blitzø asks.

« Of course not, sir. This is a respectable establishment », replies the barista, looking offended, but with a mischievous gleam in his eye that lets Blitzø know he's done something even worse. « Anyway, what can I get you? »

Less than ten minutes later, Blitzø leaves the coffee shop with five large drinks instead of the medium ones he'd ordered, topped up with extra whipped cream, a bag of pastries, plus two cheese muffins gifted by another customer. He wonders if he shouldn't insult incubi more often, but this therapist would probably never leave him be, let alone Moxxie.

Blitzø doesn't forget to swing by the burger joint and orders an overcooked burger for Fizz, an undercooked one, almost raw for his Loony, and a third with triple cheese and extra hot pepper sauce for himself. M&M will have to make do with ordinary burgers and be grateful for it. After all, he’s the one paying. Well, I.M.P., but same difference.
It's a good thing he was a circus performer and that balance was one of the main qualities expected of him, because otherwise he would have dropped or spilled something on the way (or rather the run, to keep everything warm) back to I.M.P. 's headquarters.

« Look who's brought you tons of delicious things to eat and drink? » he asks, knocking on the door.

For once, the twins don't start crying. They just look at their uncle, the girl from Moxxie's arms and the boy from Fizz’s lap. Millie, who coos at them in turn, gives him a beaming smile and rushes to help.

But his gaze is immediately drawn to the slender succubus, clad in a hoodie, who sits on a chair in a corner of the main office, hands on her knees and an awkward expression on her face.

« What the fuck are you doing here? Did you think of another good insult on the way back? »

She flinches but says nothing.

« Yeah, I wanted to throw her out », Loony comments as she peruses the contents of the pastry bag and begins munching on one, « but Fatty insisted it was unprofessional. »

As he’s sipping his incredibly complicated, custom-made drink (Blitzø is convinced that the only reason the barista didn't give him the stink eye and purposely screw it up was his earlier stunt with the incu-bitch), the younger imp just glares at the hellhound, who ignores him completely.

Blitzø also suspects that if Moxxie insisted they let the succubus in, it's because he still feels sorry for her from their previous encounter at the baby store. Since he himself has no such qualms, he's ready to kick her out.

« I came to apologize for what happened earlier », she blurts out suddenly, without looking him in the eye. « What Ace said was super shitty and he should never have insulted you like that. »

Blitzø raises an eyebrow in surprise.

« Why are you apologizing when you weren't the one who insulted me? »

« Because I should have stopped him. I could at least have said something. Especially since… »

She instinctively brings a hand to her stomach, then drops it and looks worriedly around, as if to check if anyone has noticed. But Fizz is too busy with Lobster, Loony with her food and Millie with Pepper, whom she's taken from her husband's arms, to pay her the slightest attention. Only Moxxie is watching them from behind his drink, and his gaze is more sympathetic than critical.

« Want something to drink? »

The succubus seems taken aback by the offer, which he understands perfectly since he's just as surprised to have made it.

« Oh, I, uh, I don't want to bother you any further. I just thought that... uh... well... I could at least come and apologize », she says with a shrug.

« Well, apology accepted. And... thanks for coming all this way, I guess. »

He knows that Verosika and her cronies have left the building they used to share with I.M.P. for a more expensive one a few blocks away. Incidentally, almost all the people working inside the new building are full-blown demons. Blitzø doesn't think his ex has anything against imps in general, but that says a lot about the political climate in Hell...

The smile the succubus gives him is almost shy but genuine, and she stands up.

« So... er... I'll be off and leave you in peace. Thank you for... for receiving me. »

She heads for the door with that pronounced sway of the hips that all succubi have, to varying degrees, all the while looking at the twins. As she passes Millie, she stops and looks at Lobster, reaching out to stroke his cheek. Millie protectively cradles the baby and glares defiantly at the other woman.

« I’m so sorry... I-I-I should never have… », the succubus stammers, looking crestfallen.

Blitzø has zero reason to care. In fact, he has excellent reasons not to, starting with the fact that she not only works for his venomous ex, but also played bass during the odious song He sang during that fateful party. Besides, no one has ever accused him of being a nice person. Well, except for his therapist, who keeps pretending he's better than he thinks, but what does she know?

« It's okay », he hears himself say. « You can let her hold him for a while. Show her how to look after the kid properly. »

Five pairs of astonished eyes zero in on him. Yeah, this time he's not going to get away with it: the second the succubus is gone, he's in for a full-scale interrogation.

« Are you... sure, B? »

He's almost tempted to tell Millie she's misunderstood, but the succubus's hopeful expression stops him.

« Yeah… » he says, with a sigh. « Who knows, it might come in handy, someday… »

Once again, the succubus places her hand on her belly and, this time, Millie notices. Not only that, but judging by the way her eyes soften and her expression changes from defiant to kind, she's figured out what's going on. She may be an absolute brute in the field, but she's far smarter and more observant than many people realize.

« Here you go, hun’ », she says as she gently sets the little boy in the other woman's arm, placing her hands around him so he's properly supported.

The succubus's expression is halfway between wonder and terror, Loona's is calculating, as is Fizz's, and Moxxie beams with pride. Except, for once, it's not his wife he's looking at.

It's Blitzø.

« So, Fizz, you ready for our breakfast date? » the latter asks after clearing his throat.

« Sure thing, buddy », his friend replies, handing Pepper back to her cousin and walking over to him.

Blitzø takes the bag containing the burgers and his own iced coffee, before heading for his office, trying as best he can to ignore all the stares now focused on his back.

Maybe if he gives Fizz enough food, he won't interrogate him to death?

Chapter 11: The favor

Summary:

Fizz comes up with an outrageous idea.

Notes:

Yeah, I really don't know how to take a break.
But I really loved writing this chapter, so I hope you'll like it too!

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

« Did I tell you Lavender was pregnant? » says Fizz the following week, over their Friday lunch.

« I doubt it. I don't even know who Lavender is. »

« She's one of the cage dancers at Ozzie’s. »

« Oh. »

It sounds vaguely familiar. Blitzø thinks he saw her a few times when he came to the club for one of those VIP parties to which he is now regularly invited. She's a Slothian demon with vivid purple hues, if he remembers correctly.

« Good for her, I guess », he adds.

« Dad's out of the picture », Fizz continues nonchalantly, before taking another bite of his burger.

« Less good for her », Blitzø replies with a grimace, not quite sure where his friend is going with this new topic of conversation.

« The main problem is that most of her friends work in the club and none of them have children. »

Blitzø looks at Fizz with eyes reduced to slits. He suddenly feels like he actually knows where this is going, and doesn't like it one bit.

« What are you trying to tell me, exactly? » he asks, crossing his arms.

Instead of answering, the former jester takes a sip of his drink and adds:

« And Magda, Ozzie's assistant? A short, plump succubus? I think you’ve met her, once or twice. She got knocked up too. She doesn't even know who the father is. Apparently, it was a pretty wild night… »

« Fizz… » said Blitzø threateningly.

« Oh, and did I tell you about Ozzie's support group? »

« Why does Ozzie have to go to a support group? » wonders Blitzø, a little baffled by the non sequitur.

« Not a group he participates in, one he hosts », corrects his friend.

« Yeah, that makes more sense. »

Unless there's a group for people whose brother is an absolute asshole who's trying to ruin their life for stealing his money-making puppet (which would clearly be a very niche one), Blitzø doesn't see why the Deadly Sin would need it. Ozzie seems pretty well balanced, as far as he can tell.

« He receives various types of addicts twice a month, with people coming from different Rings to take part. There's even a Sinner who was granted special permission by Lucifer himself to leave Pride. »

« Aren't the people attending those kind of meetings supposed to be anonymous or something? »

He remembers taking Barbie to some of these mandatory ones just after rehab, before she forbade him to accompany her.

« Oh it is. I don't know who the attendees are, I'm not allowed near the group while they're holding the meeting », his friend replies with a disgruntled pout. « Ozzie's all about privacy and stuff… »

« How do you know about the Sinner, then? »

« Maybe I asked Ozzie in bed, right after sex. He's always so relaxed then », his friend replies with a suggestive wink.

« Please, Fizzies. You know I like you, but I really don't want to hear about your sex life! »

« You'd love to have my sex life! » retorts Fizz with a smug expression.

Since Blitzø can't really contradict him on this point, he gives him a nasty look and bites into one of his cheese-splattered fries.

The fact is, he can't even remember the last time he had sex. With that scumbag Chaz, about six months ago? Or maybe six and a half months? It was a total disappointment in any case, because Chaz sucked in bed. Blitzø is personally offended by the idea that this asshole slept with both M&M, whereas they always refused to sleep with him. And despite what Verosika said, Blitzø knows he's pretty good in bed. On the other hand, he can remember the last time he had good sex. Great sex, even. It was eight full moons ago. With him. He'd been the best lay of his life. And Blitzø had never told him.

(Not that it would have mattered, anyway...)

So, sure, he'd like to have Fizz's sex life. Well... not his real sex life. He wouldn't like being railed by Ozzie on a regular basis, for example. He's a top, through and through, whereas his childhood best friend is a power bottom. He might even be The power bottom. That wouldn't work for Blitzø. If he ever were to bottom, it would be for someone he trusted implicitly. And if he did, he’d let go completely and leave all the power to his lover.

Once, long ago, he thought that maybe... but the question is no longer relevant. Even if he were ready to get back in the game, which is far from certain, with the twins he has neither the time nor the energy anymore. So it's useless to even entertain the idea.)

Maybe one day, he'll be ready for a real relationship. One of mutual trust and companionship, like what Ozzie and Fizz have. But he knows that's out of reach for now. As his therapist said, he has to learn to love himself before he can love anyone else. So it's a long shot. But at least he can sometimes imagine it without freaking out. That's a big step forward. At least that's what his therapist thinks.

« Anyway, he thought that setting up a support group for single mothers would be a good idea. Once a month, to start. That way, Magda and Lavender... and perhaps others, wouldn't feel so alone in facing this challenge. »

Here we go, Blitzø thinks, with a mixture of smugness and annoyance.

« And you think I need to join the support group? May I remind you that I'm not a single mother.... I'm a man, for one, and just the twins' uncle », he retorts, with an offended expression worthy of Moxxie himself.

(His relationship to the twins is a fact he has to remind himself of more and more often, but Fizz doesn't need to know.)

« Actually, we were wondering if you'd be willing to lead the support group », Fizz replies, fiddling with his straw, not daring to look his friend in the eye.

Unfortunately, Blitzø has just taken a big gulp of his own drink, which goes down the wrong pipe. He starts coughing, which causes him to spit his drink onto the table and into Fizz's face. When he finally stops, he gives his friend a baleful look.

« Are you trying to kill me? »

« Sorry », says Fizz with an apologetic grimace. « But I really think you’d be great at it! »

« What didn't you understand about 'just the twins' uncle’? »

« You're so much more than that and we both know it! »

« Do we? » Blitzø replies doubtfully. « I’ve barely had them for two weeks! »

« And look at all the progress you've made! It would be an inspiration to these women! »

« Because it would show them that literally anyone can take care of a baby, you mean? » Blitzø retorts with a bitter smile.

« Well… yeah, but not only that. Think of all the things you could share with them, all the tips you could provide! »

Fizz has a point; Blitzø can at least give him that. But the idea that he can explain to anyone, especially a pregnant demoness, how to look after a baby remains ridiculous. He's not qualified. Sure, he does his best, but he also has a lot of help. From Loony, Millie, Moxxie (who usually knows best what to do, even if Blitzø sometimes gives him a hard time) and Mrs. K, who looks after the kids when they all have to go out in the field.

(He finally asked his neighbor what he could do to thank her for all she'd done for him. And as he suspected, Mrs. K doesn't want him to kill anyone. Which is a real shame. And she doesn't even need him to carry heavy things, because her children and grandchildren are very present in her life and already do it for her. So he's been tricked into helping her in her vegetable garden.

Go figure.)

So hosting this kind of support group would not only be hypocritical, it would feel like cheating.

« This is a bad idea, Fizzies! »

His friend clasps his hands together in mock prayer, uses his mechanical limbs to propel himself over the table and right in front of Blitzø, widening his eyes and making them more endearing as he says:

« Pweeeaaaaaaase? »

He even manages to make his gaze brighter than usual.

There was a time, long ago, when that would have been more than enough to convince Blitzø. Once, he would have done anything for Fizz, without question. He still would, in fact, to some extent. After all, he agreed to be his bodyguard during Mammon's contest the moment Ozzie asked him to, didn't he? But it's not a matter of life and death. It's an old friend using dirty tricks to manipulate him. And he's not going to let that happen.

« You do remember that I'm not the Deadly Sin fucking you, right? What makes you think I'd say yes just because you bat your eyelashes at me? »

Fizz opens his mouth in shock and settles back in his chair with a disgruntled pout.

« I’m extremely cute and you know it », he mumbles sulkily.

Paradoxically, this makes him even cuter. Not that Blitzø is going to tell him that.

« Yeah, I have newborns at home. My cuteness scale is pretty high, Fizzies. »

« They're kind of adorable », Fizz admits with a fond smile. « All right. But you still owe me, buddy. »

Something lumpy is lodged in Blitzø's throat. Is his old friend going to use the fire to guilt-trip him into doing what he wants?

« What are you talking about? »

A tiny insect has landed on Fizz's suspenders, and he removes it with a flick of his finger.

« Remember a certain prototype I let you borrow months ago and you never returned? »

So it's not about the fire. It's only the second worst night of Blitzø's life.

« That's a low blow, you know? »

« That's true », his friend replies with a shrug. « But I really think it could be good for you, buddy. »

Blitzø looks into Fizz's eyes and, this time, his friend looks back. And in those eyes, he can see nothing but care and love. Which makes him feel incredibly uncomfortable, because deep down he knows he doesn't deserve it.

And that's how Fizz gets him, in the end.

« Okay », he says. « If you can find five different women willing to participate in a support group run by a single imp uncle, I'll do it this once. But you have to warn them in advance. And be prepared to hear me say 'I told you so' for months when things go wrong. »

« Shall we make a little bet? » said Fizz, with a mischievous gleam in his eyes.

« What kind of bet? » asks Blitzø, not trusting him one bit.

« If it goes wrong, I'll pay for your meals for a year. »

« That's not really a hardship for you: you're loaded. And you're already paying two times out of three. »

« Fine... I'll also ask our cleaning crew to clean your apartment... and your office. »

This is a little more interesting. Ozzie's is always spotless, which is quite a feat, considering everything that goes on there.

Plus, the cleaning crew is made up of incubi and succubi in very skimpy outfits.

« And in the highly unlikely event that it works? » he asks.

« You'll continue to host it as long as it's active. »

Blitzø can't imagine how that could happen, so he holds out his hand to his friend.

« It's a deal! »

Notes:

Next time, we'll see how a certain Prince is doing...
(But they don't meet each other yet)

Chapter 12: Interlude: The Prince who owns his shit

Summary:

Little by little, it gets better…

Notes:

To be perfectly honest, all I know from AA comes from what I saw in movies. I never went to a meeting and I’m not sure how this works in Belgium, where I live. But I’d like to say this is Hell and Ozzie has to make do with what he has…

I hope you'll like this chapter!

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

« Welcome, everyone. As always, remember this is a safe space: feel free to share what you want, how you want, without fear of being judged or having your words repeated outside the circle… which means you have to be mindful of the others as well », begins Ozzie with the gentle smile and kind face he uses with the people he's close to... and the participants in his fortnightly support group.

Stolas likes to think he's both.

« Let's start with our mantra », the Deadly Sin continues, and the regulars join in with the familiar words: « Today and tomorrow, I will do my best to have the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to make a difference. »

Asmodeus told him that this was originally a prayer used by similar groups of humans on Earth. It’s against their demonic nature to ask God for help, of course, and they both know Lucifer wouldn't lend support even if he could, so the Deadly Sin did his best to tailor the prayer to his audience. Even so, Stolas has to admit that the routine, as much as the words themselves, reassures him about the whole enterprise and, as far as he can tell, everyone else sitting in the circle of chairs feels the same way.

All but two.

« I see new faces today. Would you like to say a word? Share something about yourself? »

The lanky hellhound teenager looks down and shakes his head twice, but Stolas' right-hand neighbor pushes a thick lock of fluffy hair back behind her ear.

« The name is Verosika and I'm only here because this one insisted! » she said, with a mixture of coldness and annoyance, pointing at him.

Stolas simply smiles at her. He's proud of Verosika for trying, even if it’s kicking, screaming and complaining all the way. He's simply doing his best to be supportive and a good friend, like Asmodeus has been to him over the last few months, that's all.

He hopes she knows that.

« Welcome Verosika », Asmodeus replies, as if he'd never met her before. « Would you like to talk about what brings you here? Apart from Stolas », he hastens to add, when she gives her left-hand neighbor another pointed glance.

She huffs.

« Where do I start? I'm addicted to sex... booze... drugs… » she replies, with a hint of hesitation.

« I’m with you, sister », throws in another of their regulars, who just like Stolas has been here from the start.

« Let her talk, Angie », Asmodeus gently reprimands.

The pink sinner mimes closing his mouth with a zipper and winks at Stolas. The prince gives him a small smile in return.

If someone had told him he'd forge a friendship... or at least something akin to it... with a sinner, a porn star no less, Stolas would never have believed it. Like his friendship with Verosika, it would have seemed inconceivable only a few months ago. Who'd want to be friends with the stuffy Stolas Goetia, who's only interested in books and stars, and feels more comfortable in the company of plants than his fellow demons?

And yet... they are. And it works. He doesn't understand how, but gratefully he accepts it anyway. That was the first thing Stolas learned, when Asmodeus kindly but firmly suggested he join the support group he was organizing for addicts: acceptance.

The second thing was to take responsibility for his shit. With that, however, he struggled a lot, and still does, to be honest.

Having spent his whole life enduring because it was expected of him, his chance encounter with Blitzø so many years after their first meeting (if you can call the fact that the gorgeous imp snuck into his house to steal his grimoire ‘chance’) shook him to the core.

For the first time, Stolas decided to put himself first and do something just for him. This taste of freedom and forbidden desire was so intoxicating that he lost himself completely in their agreement. So much so that he fell in love with Blitzø and realized he wanted something real. Something he'd never had before. A relationship. Trust. Respect. Love.

He went too hard, too fast, and it ended in disaster, leaving him heartbroken. So heartbroken that on a whim he decided to go to Verosika's BLITZO SUCKS party, where he found himself singing about his feelings in front of over a hundred people. For a brief moment, he felt appreciated, seen, like he belonged somewhere.

When the aftermath came, it was like a crushing wave that left him bloodied and raw.

First Via told Stolas that he'd never loved her mother (which was true, even though he'd tried for years, for his daughter's sake) and that he'd never loved her (which couldn't have been further from the truth, despite the fact that he'd monumentally failed her as a father). Then she left his estate to go and live with her mother and her uncle Andrealphus. Those two harpies certainly danced for joy over it.

Of course, as soon as Via was off her father's estate, Andrealphus took the opportunity to tear up the divorce agreement they'd finally agreed upon, after months of painful negotiations, and drafted a new one, giving just about everything to Stella. At the same time, he made sure to besmirch his brother-in-law's name in the eyes of all the Goetia, including Stolas' own father, which lead to one of the most embarrassing conversations of his entire life.

It was around this time that Stolas gave up the fight and started drinking himself into a stupor every day.

The worst was yet to come.

It took him almost a month to return to Blitzø. Not that he hadn't thought about him before. Although he's a little ashamed to admit it, his beloved imp never left his thoughts... except maybe towards the end of the party. He barely remembers what happened then. He knows that Blitzø came to talk to him, because Verosika told him he had, but he doesn't remember the words they exchanged. He wanted to see him again the next morning... or at least afternoon, when the hangover was finally over. But the memory of how horribly they parted during the full moon (and all the insults Blitzø hurled at his head the morning after) pushed him to put it off until much later. With everything crumbling around him, Stolas couldn't bear another argument.

Especially not with the man he loved with all his being.

The day he finally turned up at I.M.P., sad and half-drunk, is one he'll never forget. Not because of Blitzø. It turned out his beloved imp was out in the field with his employees. But because of the tongue-lashing Loona gave him the moment he opened the door. Stolas hadn't expected it and it caught him completely off guard. It also sobered him up immediately. Honestly, he can't remember half the things she said. Some of them weren't fair. Others weren't true. But most were painfully accurate. One in particular will stay with him as long as he lives.

« Don't you dare talk about love. This isn't love. Everything you've done, you've done for yourself. »

He left I.M.P. angry and hurt. What an injustice! He was the one who'd had his heart broken, the one who'd tried to love Blitzø and been rebuffed.

But the more he thought about it, the more he realized… Loona was wrong. He did love… he still loves Blitzø. Part of him probably always will. His dearest imp was the one who showed Stolas that there could be another way of being, the one person with whom he was truly himself for the first time. Together, they shared so much, and not just sexually.

But she was right too. Stolas loved Blitzø, yes, but he hurt him. Deeply. Just as he'd hurt Via, whom he loves more than anything else in the world. Because he had been petty and selfish. He was so exhilarated by putting himself first that he didn't even stop to think about how it affected everyone around him.

When he finally came to this realization, he did four things in a row.

Firstly, he asked his butler, Pringles, to empty all the bottles of alcohol on the estate. Even the vintage absinthe.

Secondly, he made an appointment with Vassago, a fellow Goetia known for his love of the law and respect for the rules. Although quite adept at analyzing contracts himself, Stolas realized that he was in no shape to fight Andrealphus and Stella on this terrain.

Thirdly, he called Asmodeus to ask if they could have lunch together sometimes. To this day, he's not sure why he turned to the Deadly Sin. Maybe because he too knows what it's like to be a royal and have deep feelings for an imp.

And finally, he began writing a long and overdue letter of apology to his daughter.

Things didn't get better overnight. The process has been long and painful, and he still struggles every day. But he's starting to see a little improvement. He sleeps better at night. His relationship with Via is slowly mending, even if there's still a lot of tension between them. But above all, he's no longer alone. Asmodeus, Verosika, the group... they have all been helping him from the start. He's grateful to them.

« Now... does anyone have an anniversary to celebrate? » Asmodeus asks with a knowing smile.

Stolas raises his hand.

« Hello everyone, my name is Stolas and today marks five months since I've been completely sober. »

A few people clap, other cheer. Angie, who hasn't taken any drugs for almost four months, blows him a kiss. Even Verosika smiles at him.

Stolas is far from perfect. He's selfish, standoffish, often forgets his own privileges, tends to focus on one thing to the detriment of all others and is a bit of a drama queen.

But he's trying to become a better man.

Maybe one day he'll be worthy of being loved.

And if he's lucky, Blitzø will then agree to give him another chance.

Notes:

I think Stolas main problem in the show, apart from the low self-esteem (a trait that he definitely shares with his Blitzy) is his addiction to pills and booze. So trying to quit would be a logical step to become his better self.
We might see more of the « other » support group in the future, despite this being the story of Blitzø.

And if you want to know more about his discussion with Loona, you can find it in the first part of this series, called "The hard truth".

Chapter 13: The ex

Summary:

Blitzø didn’t even want to be there.
Fucking Moxxie and his stupid ideas!

Notes:

Since you seemed to like Stolas point of view, I definitely will add more of these in the future…
But right now, back to our favorite imp!

Chapter Text

It's all Moxxie's fault, really.

If that bleeding heart hadn't insisted on telling Kiki (apparently that's the pregnant succubus's name) about the support group, they wouldn't have had to go all the way to Verosika's new workplace to find her.

If that haughty jerk hadn't decided to ‘try to reason’ with the bitch when she stole their parking space that time she came to work on the same floor as them, he wouldn't have found himself covered in lipstick marks, which is why Millie insisted that Blitzø accompany him today.

If that fucking idiot had waited for a moment when Kiki was alone instead of charging in while she was with her two racist friends, he might have noticed that the whole gang was right behind, including Blitzø's bitchy ex and that asshole Vortex.

So, in fairness, it was all Moxxie's fault and Blitzø should have left him to fend for himself.

But no, of course not. That would have been far too easy.

Of course Blitzø had to intervene.

(Because Millie would have been on his back if he hadn't, and not at all because he was worried about Moxxie. That little moron had it coming. And Blitzø will chew him out as soon as they're alone.)

« What the... fuck? » the tall jerk with spiky hair finally says, looking at the sling with incredulous eyes.

(Because, naturally, Blitzø had to take the babies with them. That's Moxxie's fault as well. He doesn't know why, but it has to be.)

The twins look back at the incu-bitch, unimpressed.

(Good kids. Blitzø is so proud that he's tempted to give them both a high five at the same time, but he doesn't want to risk upsetting them. And they're like cats: they really don't like sudden gestures.)

« But wh... what... who... how? » Verosika can only stammer.

Blitzø gives her a shit-eating grin. It's petty on his part and his therapist certainly won't approve, but he really enjoys seeing her distraught.

« Let me explain, then… » he says. « You see, when a male and a female put their nasty bits together, sometimes the male's cum gets into... uh, the female's placenta and that's how a baby is made. »

Not quite sure, he checks discreetly with Moxxie. The younger imp just looks at him, round-eyed and speechless. That's probably not entirely accurate, then. Well, close enough, he guesses. In any case, he doubts that Verosika is an expert in this field. Like him, she's better at the ‘putting the nasty bits together’ and the ‘avoiding babies’ parts.

Narrowing her eyes, she puts her fists on her hips.

« Very funny, fucktard. But when did that happen? And who’s the mother? »

« But of course, let me tell you everything: it happened some time ago and she's called None-of-your-Business », he replies smugly.

Blitzø hears Moxxie spluttering, but remains focused on Verosika, who growls in exasperation. He still knows how to push her buttons and takes far too much pleasure in it.

« What are you doing here? » asks the smallest and plumpest of the succu-bitches.

This one looks more curious than aggressive, so Blitzø is almost nice when he answers matter-of-factly:

« Shopping for snacks. »

« So, by sheer coincidence, you just happen to do your shopping in the neighborhood where we work? » insists the pretty incubus boy, doubtful.

« Did I stutter? » Blitzø replies, raising an eyebrow.

« No, but you don't expect us to believe that, do you? » retorts the most androgynous of the bunch.

The more casually dressed too: they wear a simple hoodie and baggy jeans. It really stands out from the rest. Even Kiki's outfit is a little more sophisticated. This time, she's wearing a wide but extremely short dress, with fishnet stockings and asymmetrical gloves. He has to admit, she makes the look work. You'd never guess she's hiding a pregnancy under there.

« I don't give a fuck what you think. I needed a snack... for my support group », he adds, suddenly inspired, « and it just so happens that the convenience store over there sells the best flaming cheese puffs in all of Imp City. »

That's not even a lie. Their cheese puffs are the bomb. He's totally going to buy a whole bag of them once he and Moxxie ditch the group of STD Spreaders. And he won't share with the little moron, that'll teach him.

(Or maybe just one or two, he's not a monster.)

« What kind of support group? » asks the blond one.

Blitzø had expected this question, even hoped for it. They came here for a reason, after all.

« It's for single parents. Next meeting is happening soon and we'll need snacks », he replies nonchalantly, looking each of them in the eye, except Kiki.

He hopes she's smart enough to get the message. If she isn't... well, isn't that what they call natural selection?

(And if Moxxie doesn't agree, Blitzø isn't above knocking him out, throwing him over his shoulder and taking him home, Millie-style.)

« I don't know what surprises me more: that someone would voluntarily have a child with you, or that you'd dare to come to my neighborhood », Verosika comments, her tone sharp and her smile cutting.

Clearly, she’s recovered from the initial shock.

« Well, Miss Mayday, with those little parties of yours, you should know better than anyone that if Blitzø wanted to avoid his exes, he wouldn't be able to set foot in Imp City again. »

Blitzø doesn't know why, but something in Moxxie's attitude, perhaps his tone or his pinched, reproachful expression, makes him feel vindicated.

(Maybe he'll share his cheese puffs with him, after all.)

Curiously, the younger imp's words make Verosika's face scrunch up, as if in pain. If it were anyone else, Blitzø might think she feels bad. But he knows better. She's proud of these parties. She told him - and herself - that she did it for the good of others, and that may be partly true, but he's not stupid. Her main reason is pettiness. To get back at him. He assumes it's only fair, after everything he put her through, but it's still incredibly shitty.

At any rate, that's what finally sets her and her little band of cronies in motion. They all leave without a word, acting as if Moxxie and him weren't even there, except for the darker-skinned, puffy-haired succubus, who casts a curious glance over her shoulder.

« Thanks, Moxxie », Blitzø says, when the succu-bitches are out of sight.

« Anytime, Blitzø. Even if you didn't really need me. You did well with them. I'm impressed. »

Blitzø looks down at him.

« You're fucking with me, right? »

Moxxie looks at him, frowning.

« No, why? »

« I’ve been horrible to them. I insulted everyone almost non-stop. »

« Blitzø... no, you haven't. In fact, you haven't insulted them once. That's what impresses me the most. »

Didn't he? But he was so sure... He replays the whole discussion in his mind, remembering the insulting names he'd called all of them, including Moxxie. Did they really just stay in his mind? That would be a first, really.

(He wonders if his therapist would also be impressed…)

« Well… good. Now, let’s go buy those cheese puffs! »

« Blitzø... you know the support group isn't for another three days, right? I'm not sure the cheese puffs will still be good by then… »

« Oh, I know. I'm just hungry. Besides, they're very spicy, and this book I read says that in the case of advanced pregnancy, it can speed up labor. »

« You... read… a book? » Moxxie repeats, dumbfounded.

Blitzø gives him the stink eye.

« I’ll have you know I can read, you little fucker! »

Moxxie doesn’t even react to the insult.

« You read a book about pregnancy and you don't even know how babies are made? »

« Fuck you Moxxie! I know exactly how they're made. I could give you some pointers. I've just never been interested in the logistics, that's all. It's not like I'll ever need it… »

(His therapist certainly isn't going to be impressed with how he handled this one. But hey, it really hurts. He may not be book smart like Moxxie - or... him - but he's not dumb.)

Fizz often says that his face is so expressive that it displays everything he's feeling. Blitzø refuses to believe he can be so easy to read, but his childhood best friend must be on to something, because Moxxie's expression turns shameful.

« I’m sorry, Blitzø », he says. « I never meant to insult you. I know how smart you are. It's just... I've never seen you with a book that didn't have pictures of horses in it, that's all. »

« Well... all books are better with horses inside. And there are now. I drew a lot of them while I was reading. But... yeah, I remembered the books that girl, Kiki, had in her cart and thought there might be some useful things in them… »

« You're a good dad, Blitzø », says Moxxie, laying a hand on his shoulder.

It's at this point that Pepper, who had remained eerily calm throughout the meeting with the Fuck Squad, starts babbling. A bubble of saliva forms on the side of her mouth and Blitzø gently removes it with his finger. Lobster, unsurprisingly, has fallen asleep, the little narcoleptic.

« I’m not their father. I'm just their uncle. Sooner or later, their mother is going to come around and take them back. »

And he'd really appreciate it if everyone around him would stop behaving as if the twins were his. They aren't. They never will be. And pretending otherwise will only hurt more when they're gone.

Moxxie doesn’t look convinced.

« Will she? It’s been almost three weeks now, and you haven’t heard from her. »

Blitzø is a bit worried about it, to say the least. He's tried calling St An's Hospital in Sloth and the few friends of hers he knows. No luck. Not only have they not heard from her either, they didn't even know she was pregnant.

(He has an idea Barbie is going to be furious with him when she learns he got in touch with her friends. But what’s new under Pride’s red pentagram?)

« Yeah. I know my sister. She will come back eventually. »

And that will break his heart. He loves those kids. He loves them so much. Almost as much as Loony. He'd do anything for them. Including reading boring books without pictures of horses in them.

« Well, in the meantime, they’re lucky to have you, Blitzø. »

A lump settles in his throat. He shrugs and discreetly wipes his eyes with his sleeve.

(He's not crying, he's just got something in his eye. Probably some kind of bug...)

« Sure. Now, let’s buy some cheese puffs! »

Moxxie gives him a gentle smile.

« Yeah. Let’s. »

Chapter 14: The mothers-to-be

Summary:

The time has come and Blitzø is terrified.

Notes:

Thank you so much for all of your comments. I’m so happy to see that you like this little fic.
I hope you’ll like this chapter as well! 🩷

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Blitzø is totally freaking out.

« Why did I let you drag me into this? » he groans, head thrown back, fists pressed against his eye sockets.

« Because I'm your best friend. And as your best friend, I know you're going to be awesome », Fizz replies in an even tone.

In other circumstances, Blitzø would have reacted to the fact that, apparently, Fizz considers the 15-year gap of hatred in their relationship healed. Just like that. But he's far too stressed to comment on it. Instead, he drops his fists and glares at his friend, before scanning the room for an exit.

« There is only the one », declares Fizz, casually adjusting one of his suspenders without looking at him.

« There's... what? »

« There are no exits other than the main one... and Jesse's watching it », Fizz says, a small smile tugging at the corner of his lips. « You remember Jesse, don't you? Tall guy, deep voice, ripped. You gave him flowers, as I recall… »

Yeah, Blitzø remembers Ozzie's bouncer. They haven't had the best of relations since the incident at Ozzie's and the bouquet of flowers Blitzø threw at the guy during his little apology tour didn’t exactly help. Most of the time, Jesse ignores Blitzø and it’s perfectly fine by him.

He has a feeling that the bouncer would like nothing better than to manhandle him if he tried to escape from the support group meeting, though.

And not even in a fun, sexy way.

« Fuck, Fizz! I don't want to do this, okay? » Blitzø exclaims with something close to despair.

This time, his friend finally looks at him and there's sympathy in his gaze.

« I know, buddy. But you can do it. I swear you can. You're going to kick ass. Trust me, if you don't trust yourself. »

Blitzø wants to believe Fizz. But deep down he knows that his friend gives him too much credit. All his life, he’s let women down, one way or another. His mother. His sister. Verosika. Fuck, even Millie and Loony, sometimes. Why should it be any different with five strangers (or four strangers and a succubus, with whom he is curiously on good terms, despite a very rocky start)?

« It’s going to be a total dumpster fire. »

Fizz extends his arms to cup Blitzø’s cheeks and pull him closer, enough so that their foreheads almost touch.

« Look at it this way, buddy », he says. « Worst case scenario, you get free food and cleaning for a whole year. That's not so bad, is it? »

« Nice try, Fizzies. Worst case scenario, I make a fool of myself and traumatize pregnant women so much that they give birth instantly. »

« Wow! Your worst case scenario is definitely bloodier and scarier than mine. »

« Right? »

« But also very unlikely. Blitzø... Lavender, Magda and even that succubus from Verosika's team? They're all in the early stages of their pregnancy. Plus I'm pretty sure they've heard far worse than anything you could tell them. Don't forget where they work and who they work with. »

He has a point. But they’re expecting more people.

« What about the other two? »

«Uh... there’s Ethel's girlfriend’s second cousin - she's our hellhound barmaid, juggles booze like a circus pro - and if I understood correctly, she’s bringing a friend of hers. An imp, I believe? That's all I know. You didn't leave me much time to organize all this…»

Blitzø is well aware. It was an attempt to escape the meeting by default. He should have known that his friend was far too stubborn to let him get away with it...

« Shame », he mutters.

« So... I'll be going. Take a few deep breaths and be yourself. Oddly enough, I think it might help in this case… »

« Wait... you're not even staying with me? »

Fizz gives him an apologetic grimace.

« I’d love to, buddy, but I don't think it's a good idea. I'm the boyfriend of Lavender's and Magda's boss. They might not be comfortable talking about certain things in front of me, you know? Besides, I'm not a single mom. »

« Neither am I, you fucker! »

« Yeah, but you're a single parent. You have the experience I don't. I haven't changed a single diaper in my life. »

« Oh believe me, Fizz, I intend to remedy that. As soon as this fucking meeting is over, you'll be on diaper duty! » Blitzø retorts angrily.

« Fair enough! Deep breaths! You'll be fine. See ya! »

« Traitor! » Blitzø yells.

But it's too late, the little bugger's already gone with a mechanical squeak.

(He really should consider oiling his joints.)

« What am I going to do, guys? This is going to be a disaster! I'm not qualified to do this at all! »

Lobster and Pepper don't have an answer for him, but at least they seem to sympathize with his ordeal. They're the best. He nuzzles the little girl's nose with his, and she grabs his cheeks with her tiny clawed hands, not enough to hurt, just to get closer. He pulls away gently and kisses her brother. Lobster wraps his little tail around his uncle's horn and starts purring, quickly joined by his sister.

Blitzø hugs them closer. They're growing up so fast. Part of him feels sorry for Barbie, because she's missed all these precious moments. But another part, darker and more selfish, is happy that he has the privilege of witnessing them.

He'll have so many beautiful memories when they're gone.

« Aaaaw they're adorable! I almost hope the father of this one is an imp, because the baby would be the cutest! »

« Magda! Leave him alone! Want us to come back later, sugar? »

Blitzø looks up at the purple-furred, plump Slothian demon, who's watching him with a kind smile. Next to her, a small succubus with round glasses, fluffy pink braids and thick thighs looks excitedly at the twins.

« Uh... no, it's okay. I take it you're Lavender and Magda? »

« That's us, sugar. And you're Blitz, aren't you? »

« The o is silent », he replies reflexively.

Lavender’s smile never falters.

« I’ll try to remember that. »

« What are their names? » Magda asks, her gaze still riveted on the twins.

« Her name is Pep… » Blitzø answers, then remembers what Loony and Millie insisted on, sighs and corrects: « Her name is Belle, but I call her Pepper. And he's Beo, also known as Lobster. »

« Pepper Belle and Lobster Beo. I love it. It sounds almost Wrathian », Magda replies with a wide grin.

« Something like that, yeah. Come on in. The meeting's only in ten minutes and other people are supposed to be coming, but... yeah. Would you like some cheese puffs? »

He went back to the store this morning to buy some. It was better than pacing around his apartment and driving Loony crazy. Not wanting to take any chances, Blitzø chose the non-flaming ones this time. They're not quite as good, but still tasty.

« There are other things too », he quickly adds, in case they’re not cheese puffs people.

(Which is frankly insane. But he'll try not to judge. Much.)

Ozzie (or rather whoever he employs to take care of this sort of thing) has gone all the way: the seats arranged in a circle are plush and soft, with extra padding at the back, there's fruit, cakes, sweets, coffee, water and three kinds of juice. Blitzø tried a bit of everything, and apart from the coffee (which is decaf, so he had to force himself to swallow the mouthful he'd already taken before emptying the rest of the cup into the sink), it's pretty good. Sure, it's all got a strong sexual connotation, like fruit cut in the shape of an ass, but it works.

« Oh thanks, I'd love some! » Magda exclaims, and he decides he likes her.

« Thanks, sugar, but I'll pass. I can't eat anything but pickles and sour cream since I got pregnant », Lavender replies, sitting down on the nearest seat.

« Um... do you want me to see if I can get you some? »

(Maybe he can send Jesse on an errand, or something.)

« Nah. I came covered », she replies, pulling two small containers from her bag, before dipping a pickle in sour cream and eating the whole thing.

« Isn't that revolting? » Magda asks, her mouth half full of cheese puffs.

Blitzø isn't sure which of the two she's talking about, but he suspects he'd better avoid answering altogether.

« You want to talk about those little sweeties? » Lavender asks after three more pickles.

« Ah. Uh... Sure. They're my sister's and she sort of... dumped them on me one night », he replies with a shrug, still cradling the babies to his chest.

They're wide awake and looking at him with serious faces. He could almost believe they understand everything he says, but according to the book, it's the familiar voice that reassures them. So he makes Loony, M&M and Fizz talk a lot around them, to put the twins even more at ease. He didn't need to ask Mrs. K anything. The old bat knows all the tricks.

« Didn't she warn you? » Magda asks, her eyes round.

« She wasn't even there. She just left them in a basket outside my door. »

« But... what if someone else came by? Someone with bad intentions? »

« I know, right? »

His therapist might think Barbie was waiting nearby to make sure the babies weren't in danger, but she couldn't be sure. And the idea that his twin was so close to him and he didn't even feel her presence doesn't sit well with Blitzø.

True, they've been drifting apart for fifteen years, but this would be the ultimate proof.

And he's not ready to accept it.

« Anyway, I had to make my apartment baby-friendly in one evening. Which by the way totally sucks. »

« But... surely you already had things available? Like... they've been there before, right? » Lavender asks, frowning.

« Nope. I didn't even know those little fuckers existed until that very moment. Right, little fuckers? » he coos to the twins.

Lobster gives him a toothless smile and Pepper starts babbling. He smiles at them.

« Could you... maybe... tell us what we need to buy to make our house baby-ready? » Magda asks, chewing her lower lip.

It's the first time she's seemed uncertain since they met.

« I… guess. Yeah. My neighbor made me a list... I might still have it somewhere. »

« That would be very useful. I've tried looking on the Undernet, but everyone seems to have different ideas and I'm even more lost » Lavender adds.

« I get you. The Undernet makes no sense. I'm lucky: my downstairs neighbor is this old bat, you see. She's like a hundred years old and she's completely nuts about dirty shoes, but she's a total baby expert. She knows everything there is to know. Plus, she makes the most amazing cookies. They’re… »

« Oh... Am I late for the meeting? »

Kiki stands at the entrance to the room, wearing the same oversized hoodie she wore to the baby store. She's pulled the hood down over her gray-blue hair and her hands disappear into her cuffs. Either this was her comfort outfit, or she didn't want to stand out by coming here.

« Not at all, sugar, we haven't even started. Grab something to drink, something to eat, and let's get settled. »

Lavender is much better at this than Blitzø. Maybe she should run the meeting and he could just answer the questions. He would certainly prefer that.

Except that the three women look at him expectantly. Well, here goes nothing...

« So... As most of you already know, my name is Blitzø and I… »

« Is this the single mothers-to-be meeting? »

The voice is strangely familiar. Blitzø looks up and his eyes meet a pair of glowing pink ones. Those are the eyes of the last person he would have expected to meet here.

« OCTAVIA? »

Notes:

No, people, Via isn’t pregnant. She has another reason to be here.

Chapter 15: The introductions

Summary:

There’s no turning back now… I

Notes:

I didn’t realize there would be so much debate about the reason of Via’s presence. 😁
Also… it turns out the first meeting of the support group is a lot longer than anticipated. There are a lot of things going on here...

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

« Blitzø? What are you doing here? »

The last time they'd met was in Loo-Loo Land, and while the kid was clearly not happy to have him around, she didn't seem to want him dropping dead at her feet. Judging by the look on her face, she does now. Blitzø assumes he deserves her hatred, since he was the one who kicked off her parents' divorce, although there were problems long before he was part of the equation. The imp should probably feel guilty, but he doesn't. Because he knows how much He's suffered at the hands of his ex-wife.

Blitzø just hopes Octavia has no idea how things went down between her parents. Because if she does and still resents their divorce, then she's her mother's daughter to the core. And He certainly deserves better than that. He should at least have someone in his corner…

Right now, though, that's the least of Blitzø’s worries...

« What are you doing here? Fuck! Tell me you're not pregnant! »

He'd lay an egg if his precious little girl, his starfire as He calls her, got pregnant. She's not even legally an adult, for Satan's sake!

« Of course not! I've never had sex », replies the young owl with an expression of pure disgust. « I’m here to accompany Gil and Vanny. »

She gestures to a young hellhound and the most beautiful imp Blitzø has ever seen. With her long black hair, big dark red eyes framed by naturally long lashes, slightly curved horns and perfectly proportioned body, she's more beautiful than most succubi he knows.

He has to force himself to look away so he doesn't come across as a creep. She looks so fucking young. She has to be around Loony’s age, maybe even less.

« Fuck, she's gorgeous », comments Magda, who has even less of a filter than he does.

« Magda! Don't pay any attention to her, sugar. She doesn't mean anything by it », Lavender intervenes. « Would you like something to drink or eat? »

« Oh. Uh. Yes, thank you », the female imp replies shyly.

She heads for the buffet, and Blitzø can't help noticing that Octavia is following and watching her like a very dedicated bodyguard.

« We have cheese puffs. They're like the best... well, the best are the flaming-hot ones, but I didn't want to risk any of you giving birth too early or anything… »

« That's very kind of you », replies the female imp with a smile that reveals a dimple on her cheek.

« And you, sugar? » Lavender asks the hellhound.

Now that Blitzø takes a closer look, this one looks younger than the female imp. Heck, younger than Octavia even. There's no way she's more than sixteen. And she’s pregnant? Blitzø knows that teenage pregnancies are commonplace in Hell, especially among the lower classes (his own mother was barely eighteen when she had him and Barbie), but it's still a little unsettling to see this up close...

« Is there any meat? It's about the only thing I can eat without barfing », replies the teenager with a grimace.

« I don't see anything, Gil. Sorry about that… » replies the female imp in an apologetic tone.

« One sec », says Blitzø, and he rushes to open the door wide. « Hey, Jesse? »

The bouncer, who'd been waiting just outside the door, looks over his shoulder at him.

« What do you want? » he asks in a cold voice.

« Could you go... or send someone... to get some meat? We've got a pregnant hellhound here and this is the only thing she can eat », he explains.

Jesse looks inside the room, where the hellhound, Gil apparently, waves at him.

« Sure, I'll send someone over. Anything else you need? » he asks, to no one in particular.

« No. Thanks anyway, Jay », Lavender replies, after checking with the others.

« Sure, Lav. »

Blitzø closes the door and turns to the Slothian demon.

« Are you sure you shouldn't be running the meeting in my place? It seems to me you'd do a much better job than someone like me… »

Lavender laughs good-naturedly.

« Sugar, I'm the oldest and most experienced of Ozzie's dancers. I'm used to looking after the younger ones. But I know next to nothing about babies. You do. From what I have seen, you're great with them. »

« I wouldn't go that far », Blitzø replies, rubbing the back of his neck in embarrassment.

« You should. Look at these little sweetlings… »

« Wait… » Octavia's gaze goes from the twins to their uncle. « What about my dad? »

Her glowing eyes are so similar to his that Blitzø finds himself staring into them for a disturbingly long moment.

« What do you mean, ‘what about your dad’? » he retorts when he finally comes to his senses.

« He left my mother for you and you have children with someone else! How could you do this to him? »

Blitzø is so shocked by her assumption that he starts coughing. Magda, who’s the closest to him, pats him gently on the back.

« Are you... the imp who was caught with Prince Stolas? » asks the pretty imp girl with wide eyes.

(If Blitzø miraculously makes it out alive, he'll strangle Fizz with his own limbs.)

« I didn't... I mean... yeah, kind of, but no! »

Octavia crosses her arms and gives him a sulky look that reminds him so much of his Loony that he can't help but find her just a little bit endearing.

« All right... If you want to do it, we'll do it. But please, everyone, sit down. »

The owl princess, still with her arms folded, sits next to Kiki. Her two friends take the seats next to her, so Blitzø has to take the last available spot, between Lavender and the hellhound kid.

« Yeah, so… Hello everyone, my name is Blitzø and I'm not qualified for this at all. So I apologize in advance for screwing up, because I'm probably going to, whether I mean to or not. These », he adds, pointing to the twins, « are my sister's kids, Lobster and Pepper. She handed them over to me without notice. »

« Oh », says Octavia, with a slight blush.

« Also, this isn't the point at all, but yes, I had an affair with Octavia's father here while he was still married and no, I'm not the reason why he divorced her mother. The reason is that she's a bi... an ass… she wasn't a very good wife to him and he was unhappy. »

« Of course you would say that! » exclaims the owl princess in an angry voice.

« Uh, Via... he's not wrong. Surely, you know that. I know that and I'm... I was working at your uncle's estate », comments the pretty imp girl in a soft but firm voice.

Octavia pinches her beak, but nods briefly.

« So... now that this awkward interlude is over, why doesn't everyone just introduce themselves? » Blitzø asks, rubbing his hands together.

At least if he gets them talking, he'll be less likely to upset anyone, or say anything stupid.

All the women (and girls) exchange hesitant glances. Lavender has a little laugh and says:

« I’ll start then. My name is Lavender. I've been a cage dancer here at Ozzie's for eleven years. I had semi-regular sex with a guy from Greed and, obviously, one of the condoms broke at one point. I thought he and I were friends with benefits, but it turns out I was just one of his booty calls. He wants nothing to do with the baby... or me », she adds with a slightly bitter smile.

« I’m so sorry for you », the female imp murmurs with sad eyes.

« That's all right, sugar. If that's really how he feels, then we will be better off without him. »

« Uh… right », mutters Blitzø, who has never felt more out of his depth and turns to Magda. « What about you? »

« Uh... Of course. My name's Magda, I'm one of Lord Asmodeus's assistants and I took part in an orgy a couple of months ago. It was pretty wild and I don't really remember what happened, apart from a lot of sex. I have no idea what species the baby will be, but I'll try to be a good mother », she adds sheepishly.

« I’m sure you will, sugar », declares Lavender with a kind smile.

Kiki pulls her hood back, revealing her wavy gray-blue hair, and glances hesitantly at Octavia. Maybe she's embarrassed or afraid of traumatizing her ears with her own story. Although, after Magda’s, Blitzø can't see how it could get any worse.

« Hello everyone, my name is Kiki. I'm part of Verosika Mayday's crew. I'm sort of an assistant and I play bass for her concerts. I went on a date with this… » she glances hesitantly at Octavia again and sighs « …this imp. He's cute, funny and a perfect gentleman, which was certainly not something I was used to. I wanted to see more of him, but he turned me down two times because his... his boss wasn't well and needed him. I got the message. I should have known, anyway… » she murmurs bitterly.

« What are you talking about? » asks the hellhound, frowning.

Blitzø has to admit he's just as puzzled. Sure, he's an imp and a commitment-phobic, but that doesn't mean they're all the same. Moxxie asked Millie to marry him after three dates, for fuck’s sake!

« Well, you know how people are with us succubi… »

Magda nods vigorously and Lavender makes a sympathetic face, but the others seem just as clueless as Blitzø.

« Er... I'd say not. »

« We're fun to be with, and great for casual sex, but nobody really thinks we're relationship material », she says with another sigh.

« I had no idea », Blitzø murmurs.

« You didn't know? Isn't that why you dumped Verosika? »


He groans in exasperation. Why had this become a trial against him?

« Look... the reason I dumped Verosika is because our relationship was incredibly toxic and I was a shitty person, not at all fit to have relationships with anyone. I've made a lot of mistakes, I've made a lot of people unhappy, and I'm doing my best to be better. But if you don't think I'm fit to lead this support group, that makes two of us. I'll be more than willing to give my place to someone halfway decent who could really... support you guys. Because you clearly need it. »

Kiki gives him an apologetic smile.

« No... I'm the one who's sorry. You were kind enough to keep my secret and warn me about the support group. And you're great with those kids. »

« My name is Octavia, but everyone calls me Via. Well... my dad does. And my friend Loona… » says the owl princess unprompted, lowering her eyes. « Also, I'm not pregnant, I'm just here because I'm Vanny and Gil's ride. And I'm sorry for what you're going through. It really sucks. »

« You're more than that, Via », murmurs the female imp, Vanny, placing her hand on the girl's. « You're my savior and my roommate. And he's your uncle. »

« Wait... you're pregnant by Octavia's uncle? The white peacock with a broom up his ass? »Blitzø exclaims in disbelief.

« I’m pretty sure Uncle Andre's gay. He's been on a few dates with my dad's divorce lawyer », Octavia explains, frowning. « The baby is my uncle. It was my grandfather Paimon who got Vanny pregnant. »

Notes:

I'll try to update the rest of the meeting soon, but after that, I'll take a break.

Chapter 16: The maid

Summary:

Vanny shares her story.

Notes:

So… I was going to wait until my birthday, on Sunday, to publish this chapter, but patience has never been one of my virtues.
Happy unbirthday to me, I guess! 🤭
Also, just to be clear, Paimon didn’t abuse a teenager. He had sex with a young imp female, about Loony’s age (so 21/22-ish), but she’s still an adult.
(The hellhound, Gil, is the teenage one, and we don’t know what her story is yet…)

(As a precaution, TW for the mention of abortion... just as a possibility, though. All these women will get to the end of their pregnancy and deliver healthy babies, it’s a promise!)

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

« Do you... Uh... Wanna talk about it? » asks Blitzø.

The imp looks at Octavia, who nods encouragingly, and she takes a deep breath.

« My name is Nivian, but everyone calls me Vanny. I used to work on the estate of Marquis Andrealphus. I've been working there since I was fifteen, and that's where I met Via », she says with a fond smile.

The owl princess returns it.

« A few months ago, King Paimon came to visit us and I was tasked with showing him his room and he was... he was... »

Her cheeks turn a pretty shade of red. Blitzø nods. It's been so long he doesn't really remember the king, but if he looks anything like his son, he must be hot.

« Anyway, he asked me to stay with him and I accepted. The next day, he left and I never saw him again. But... well... a few weeks later, I realized I was feeling nauseous every morning and had those really weird cravings… »

Lavender, dipping one of her pickles in sour cream again, gives her a knowing smile.

« Miss Peony... that's the housekeeper... asked me if I was pregnant. Since I hadn't been with anyone but the king, I told her I certainly wasn't, but she suggested that I take the test anyway, just to be sure. And… well... you can guess the result », she says with a shaky smile, placing a hand on her belly.

Unlike the others, her pregnancy is clearly visible. Blitzø wonders if it's because she's been pregnant longer, or if it's because the father is a Goetia and these assholes are huge.

« Is there an egg inside? » he asks.

Vanny nods.

« I was a little scared about it, but Via found a doctor who specializes in mixed pregnancies and told me everything would be just fine. All they'll have to do is open my belly once the egg is ready. »

For Blitzø, it doesn't look fine at all. In fact, it sounds a lot like the plot of a horror flick. Judging by the expressions of the other women, he's not the only one feeling this way, although they're obviously trying not to react too visibly, so as not to stress the young imp.

« It's really nice of you to look after Vanny so well, Via », Kiki comments with a smile. « Your nephew... er, uncle... will be very lucky to have you in his life. »

All the other women nod in agreement. Octavia blushes.

« It's nothing, really. It’s just… I simply couldn't stand by and do nothing after what they did. »

« Um... who are 'they', sugar? »

Via questions Vanny with her eyes, and the imp nods.

« My mother and my uncle. They kicked Vanny out of the estate the second they learned she was pregnant. »

« No kidding! » Blitzø exclaims before he can even think.

Via gives him an irritated look, but doesn't comment on his remark. She absent-mindedly plucks a feather from her wrist.

« They said... they said an imp in the family would be an absolute disgrace, that they couldn't subject Grandfather to such an indignity and that Vanny had to have an abortion. I'm so sorry », she adds, addressing her friend.

« Don't be. It's not your fault. And it's not like they didn't say it to my face », replies Vanny with a sigh.

« They're assholes. »

Blitzø should have kept his mouth shut, but he couldn’t help himself. Of course, what the bitch and her brother with the broom up his ass did to St.... him was bad enough, but at least He has power and agency. He was never as helpless as this poor girl.

« Yes, they are », Octavia reluctantly admits.

The kid is about to pluck out another feather, but Vanny puts her hand on hers and strokes her cheek with a gentle smile.

« When Vanny refused to terminate her pregnancy, they accused her of stealing. She never stole anything! They just thought that if she went to jail, they could pressure her to get rid of the baby »

It seems Octavia is more upset by this whole debacle than the key player. Blitzø gets it, though. Vanny is an imp. She's spent years working for the Royals. She has no illusions about what the upper class of Hell is like. Unlike Octavia, who’s just had a particularly rude wake-up call.

« Sorry to tell you this, darling, but your mother and uncle are just the worst. So I think it's a bit hypocritical of you to blame Blitzø for ending your parents' marriage. »

« Magda, sugar, we've been through this before. You can't just say whatever comes into your head. Sometimes it hurts people », Lavender chides gently.

« It’s okay », says Blitzø. « I'm the one who kicked the hornet's nest, you know? Plus, it's easier to blame literally anyone else than to look at your parents' worst faults. Believe me, I'd know… »

After all, how long did it take him to realize what a piece of shit his own father was? How much crap did he buy from that man? How many futile attempts to win his love did he go through? Blitzø can't blame the kid for trying to see the good side of her bitch of a mother. Especially since he imagines that the harpy has always been much nicer to her own daughter than to her husband and his imp lover…

« She's right though », Octavia said in a muted voice. « I’ve been unfair to you. And to my dad… »

Tears suddenly form in her eyes.

« Hey kid… it's okay. I get it, going through a rough divorce was hard on you. But that man adores you. Remember that time you took his book to go to Earth and see the shooting stars? I swear he was ready to tear me a new one on your behalf. »

« He was? » Octavia asks, her pink eyes widening.

They look so much like her father's that Blitzø has to force himself to look away once more. So he’s extremely grateful when a few short knocks sound at the door. He hurries to open it and practically snatches the package out of the tall bouncer's hands.

« Thanks, Jesse, my dude! » he exclaims a little too enthusiastically. « You're the best! »

The bouncer raises an eyebrow, but shrugs.

« Ladies, if you need anything else, please don’t hesitate », he says, before doing something really shocking.

He grins. Blizø was convinced the bouncer had been born with a permanent bitch face. Unfortunately, with his back to the women, he can't tell which one Jesse just smiled at. He just hopes it's not Vanny or the hellhound kid, but who knows?

As a precaution, he shuts the door in his face, but the loud bang startles Lobster, who begins to scream and, as usual, Pepper follows suit.

« Oh for fuck's sake », Blitzø swears through gritted teeth. « Kiki, hold this one for a second, will you? », he says, placing Pepper authoritatively in the succubus’ arms, before starting to rock Lobster, who is usually the more difficult of the two.

By now, he's so used to it that he could rock either of those babies with a blindfold on and an arm behind his back. And quickly enough, the little noise factory stops and smiles at his uncle.

« You’re lucky you’re cute », Blitzø mutters.

He rubs his nose against the little boy's, inhaling his sweet baby smell in the process. He then turns to Kiki, but she mimicked his movements and managed to calm Pepper down too.

« Did I... did I do that correctly? »

At first, Blitzø wonders if she’s mocking him, but the look she gives him is half hope, half dread.

« Kiki, first of all, there isn't just one method of rocking a baby. You have to work by trial and errors. As long as you support their head and they calm down, you're doing just fine. And that's a good thing, because you'll be rocking them for hours. They cry when they're hungry, when they're in pain, when they're tired, when they're dirty, and I swear sometimes just to make sure their lungs are working properly. »

Six pairs of stunned eyes turn to him and he rubs his hand over his face with a groan.

« Okay, I probably shouldn't be telling you this, not to stress you out and all, but I'd rather be honest with you guys. »

« So... being a parent is a nightmare? Go figure », mutters the young hellhound with a jaded expression.

« Not all the time. Sometimes they're the best. You'll see when you get yours. »

« Won't happen », she replies, crossing her arms defiantly. « I’m putting this baby up for adoption as soon as it's born. »

« Gil... we've been over this », Vanny says sadly. « It's your choice, of course, but you can still change your mind. »

« Van… I know you’re trying to help, but I made up my mind a long time ago. I'm going to give that child one gift, and one gift only: a good family to look after him or her. And then I'll be done with it. »

Blitzø really doesn't know how to react. Apparently he's not the only one, as everyone in the room, including the twins, stares at the hellhound in awkward silence. He then holds out the package he's just taken from Jesse's hands and says:

« Meat? »

The hellhound blinks a few times before taking the packet from his hands with a shy smile. Then she begins to inhale the food.

(In retrospect, watching Lavender eat her pickles and sour cream wasn't so disgusting after all. But the poor kid is eating for two, so he leaves her be.)

« So... anyone want to hold one of these babies? » he asks.

It's funny, but the moment he offers, Kiki hugs Pepper to her chest with a pout.

« You’ll have to learn to share. I’ve only two of those and there are a lot more of you. »

« I’d love to hold one of the babies! » Octavia exclaims, before closing her beak and lowering her eyes. « I mean... to help Vanny, and all that. »

« Sure, kid », replies Blitzø, before placing Lobster in her arms.

She listens with the utmost seriousness to everything Blitzø says and handles the baby as if it were made of crystal.

Then she starts humming. Lobster looks at her with his big silver eyes, yawns, then snuggles up to her and starts purring. Octavia looks at him with big eyes and a hesitant smile.

« That's a pretty melody, sugar », Lavender comments with a smile.

« It's a song my dad used to sing to me when I was little and couldn't sleep », the owl princess explains sheepishly.

And now Blitzø pictures the image of a younger St... him with a baby owl in his arms. He immediately tucks it away in the corner of his mind tagged ‘never-go-there-no-matter-what’ and snatches a cheese puff from the buffet with his tail, stuffing it in his mouth before saying anything incriminating.

At least he's sure he's won his bet with Fizz.

There's no way those women will want to see him again after this...

Notes:

I hoped you enjoyed the story so far. If you did, please consider leaving a kudos or a comment.
I'm officially on hiatus, until at least Halloween...
But I'll come back, I promise!

Chapter 17: The heart-to-heart

Summary:

Blitzø is still a little upset about the support group and doesn't want to talk about it.
(Of course, this has never bothered Fizz before.)

Notes:

Hello, it's me again.
I can't seem to stay away from this fandom for long, so here's a new chapter.

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

The mission was a complete success. Well, they always are, since I.M.P. is still active, all its members present and in working order, and their marks keep being sent to Hell, but this one went off without a hitch. They had five people to kill and eliminated them all in record time, without suffering a single bruise. Blitzø was so pleased with the overall performance that he warmly congratulated his team, so much so that Moxxie asked him if everything was fine in a worried tone. Blitzø gave him the finger, but with a fond smile, because everything was fine. For once.

He should have known it wouldn't last.

Just as he activates the crystal with a gentle flick of his fingers, the portal opens onto I.M.P. 's headquarters, where Mrs. K should be looking after the twins, since Loony accompanied the rest of the team this time. Instead, they find Fizz flat on the floor, making ridiculous faces. Lobster laughs heartily, while Pepper grins, showing the former jester her brand-new tooth. Apparently, hybrid babies start developing their teeth just as quickly as regular imps. Blitzø has thought more than once that he should tell Kiki, but then he remembered that they're nothing to each other. She's just some succubus who, despite being part of Verosika's little band of skanks, is a halfway decent person. And as far as she's concerned, Blitzø is nothing more than her boss hated ex. His help would certainly not be welcome.

And short of going all the way to Verosika's new headquarters (which he certainly won't do, he's not suicidal), Blitzø wouldn't know how to contact her anyway.

(Not that he thought about it, or anything.)

« Fizz? What the fuck are you doing here? »

« Language, dear! » says Mrs. K, without looking up from the multicolored blanket she's knitting.

At least she hasn't abandoned the babies to their fate.

« Sorry Mrs. K », Blitzø grunts reluctantly.

He's behaving this way because the old bat does him a solid by looking after the twins whenever I.M.P. needs Loony in the field. Not because he doesn't want to disappoint her. That would be absurd.

She finishes her row and lifts her head from her blanket to give him a beaming smile.

« Good boy. I take it everything went according to plan? »

« It went great, Mrs. K », Moxxie assures her. « Would you like something to drink? »

(The little suck-up.)

« Tea would be lovely, young man. »

(‘young man’ is the nickname Mrs. K usually gives Moxxie. She calls Millie ‘cutie pie’, Loony ‘precious’ and the twins ‘lovelies’. Meanwhile, Blitzø is still ‘dear’. He can't figure out if it's a hidden insult or not.)

« I’m still waiting for an answer », he says, tapping his foot impatiently on the floor, before pointing to Fizz, who looks at him with narrowed eyes. « Why are you here? Why did you let him into I.M.P., Mrs. K? For all you know, he could be a criminal! »

« If I've understood this company's mission correctly, you're the criminals, dear! And in any case, he told me he was your friend. »

« He could have been lying. »

« And you told me he was your friend when they ran that commercial about that club in Lust while we were watching our Hell-a-Novela! »

« I could have lied », he says sulkily, his cheeks burning.

(Did the old bat really have to talk about it in front of everyone? He only watched that stupid show with her a few times, and just to humor her, because she always refused to let him pay for all the babysitting she does. And the cookies. And all the times she made extra dishes or brought leftovers to his place. Blitzø doesn't like the idea of owing her anything, so he tries to find solutions to even the score a bit. And keeping her company when they've finished gardening while cleaning the tools seems like a good idea. It's certainly not his fault that it coincides with the broadcast of the show, all right?

It’s not like he actually likes watching the stupid thing! Sure, Alejandro is pretty hot, especially since he started working in a ranch. Which means horses. And everything with horses will always attract his gaze. Plus Blitzø wants to know if Gabriella will ever realize that the bitch trying to steal Alejandro from her is actually her long-lost half-sister. Because come on, the clues are pretty obvious!

But that doesn't mean he enjoys it, or anything! And it certainly doesn't make him feel closer to… to some people!)

« B! » exclaims Millie, in a reproachful tone.

M&M have taken a liking to the old bat almost from the moment they met. It must be that referential mother figure his parental books are always on about, Blitzø surmises. Of course, he's immune to such things himself. Otherwise, he'd be ashamed of his current behavior.

« Sorry », he mumbles once more, in a barely audible voice.

(He's not ashamed. It's just peer pressure. Millie is a brute. He knows she'd punch him without hesitation if he didn’t apologize.)

« That's three times in a row you've canceled our lunches », Fizz replies, standing up and putting his fists on his hips. « By text message. I was getting worried, and we both know your tendency to run to avoid subjects that make you uncomfortable. »

« So you noticed that too, huh? »

« Fuck you Moxxie! » Blitzø exclaims angrily.

Curiously, Mrs. K doesn't reprimand him this time. But Lobster pinches his face, as he usually does when he's about to go into screaming mode, so his uncle takes him in his arms and nuzzles his cheek. Instead of crying, the baby starts purring. Blitzø instantly feels a little better, despite the fact that everyone is ganging up on him.

« Kid, I've known him since he was barely older than those two. I know all his moves. Especially the avoidance techniques », says Fizz with a smug grin.

Aware of how Mrs. K would react if he gave in to his instinctive reaction, which would be to tell Fizz to go fuck himself, Blitzø flips him off instead.

His friend simply replies with a shit-eating grin.

« I hate you », growls Blitzø.

« You love me and you know it, buddy », Fizz replies, widening his eyes and batting his eyelashes at him. « Now, do you want to go into your office and explain to me what's going on, or would you rather have this discussion here, in front of everyone? Either is fine with me. »

« I think it's pretty obvious, cupcake. Our dear boy is feeling embarrassed about what happened when he had that meeting with those pregnant women. »

« Wait... what? Who told Mrs. K about the meeting? » asks Blitzø, too shocked to get angry, as he sweeps his eyes over his employees.

His first thought is of Moxxie, but the younger imp merely stares at him, emotionless. Then he looks at Millie, who smiles but shakes her head.

«Sorry Dad. You seemed really weirded out when you came back from the meeting and didn't want to talk about it with anyone», Loony says with a sheepish look. «I thought maybe Mrs. K could get you to open up a little, or something.»

« Oh, precious! Isn't she a darling girl? » asks the old bat with a warm smile to Loony, who looks down and starts petting her own tail.

Part of Blitzø is touched by the fact his daughter obviously cares for him. Another is elated, as he is every time she calls him ‘Dad’ (which happens more and more often since the twins came into their lives). The last, on the other hand, is furious. He feels betrayed.

As he would never lash out at his beloved daughter under any circumstances, Blitzø simply turns his back on the whole group and enters his office without a word, still carrying a purring (and now half-asleep) Lobster in his arms.

He's not at all surprised to see the door open a few seconds later on Fizz. He is a little more so to see Fizz rocking Pepper, who is yawning in his arms.

« So it'll be in your office! What happened, Blitzø? What frightened you so much that you wanted to avoid me at all costs? It kind of hurt, you know? »

His friend's expression shifts briefly to one of sadness, before returning to his easy smile. But if Fizz knows all of Blitzø's tricks, the reverse is also true.

« I’m sorry, Fizzies. I didn't mean to hurt you. »

Blitzø looks his friend straight in the eye. He's rarely this open, because he feels vulnerable as shit, but the two go way back, despite everything that happened after the fire. Or maybe because of it.

« It's okay, buddy. I still love you », Fizz replies, with a rueful smile.

They simply stare at each other in silence for a fucking long time, and Blitzø gets the impression that something much deeper than a simple apology for canceling three dates passes between them.

He clears his throat, a little embarrassed.

« So... the meeting? » Fizz insists.

« It was a disaster! » Blitzø exclaims, pressing his fists against his eyelids. « I wasn't at all equipped to handle that kind of thing, Fizz. These girls... they've been through so much shit. Male demons are assholes. And it turns out hellhounds and imps aren't much better. »

« You're only realizing this now? » Fizz replies with a jaded smile.

Blitzø barks a mirthless laugh.

« No, I’m very aware of the fact men can be assholes. We both know I've been one many times. But I've never gotten anyone knocked up. I swear, some men should be castrated before they even think about sticking it in a girl. »

« Careful, Blitzø. Someone might think you care », comments Fizz with a wry smile.

The taller imp snorts.

« Sure thing, Fizzies. Whatever. »

«Listen... I thought meeting these women would help you realize that you're doing a lot better than you’re willing to admit.»

Blitzø feels a little vindicated to hear his friend acknowledge it out loud. And since he's not the biggest man, he slams his fist on the table. This startles Lobster. Fortunately, the baby just yawns and snuggles back into his uncle's chest.

« Fuck, I knew it! I knew it was all a dirty ruse! » Blitzø whispers-exclaims with a smug smile.

« Well, if you weren't so unwilling to accept any form of help… » Fizz replies defensively.

« Uh... excuse me? Hi, Mr Pot, I think my fucking name is Kettle! »

His friend doesn't comment, but gives him an apologetic grimace.

« Anyway, I shouldn't have forced you. I'm sorry buddy. »

« I guess I'll forgive you. Since we're friends and all. Besides... I won our bet, didn't I? So that means you have to send Ozzie's cleaning crew to my house and office once a week », Blitzø replies with a toothy grin.

Fizz gives him a half-sneering, half-affectionate smile.

« Sure thing, buddy. And after spending half an hour on this floor, I have to admit it wouldn't be a luxury. »

Notes:

I'll probably still be posting relatively often, but much less regularly than before, though...

If you liked it, please consider leaving a comment or a kudo, these are always appreciated (plus never underestimate the depth of my self-doubt…)

Chapter 18: The deal

Summary:

Blitzø is ready to forget about the support group.
It turns out that the support group has a different view on the matter.

Notes:

Second chapter of the week, y'all!
Hope you'll like it!

Chapter Text

« Hello sugar, is this where Blitzø works? »

If the slight Slothian accent wasn't familiar enough to Blitzø, the endearment is unmistakable. There's only one person he’s met, at least recently, who calls everyone ‘sugar’.

« Lavender? » he calls as he opens his office door.

He's surprised, to say the least, to find not only Ozzie's cage dancer there, but also Magda, and even Vanny.

« Hello Mr. Blitzø! » says the pretty young imp, giving him a little wave.

« Er... Hello. Vi... I mean… your roommate isn’t with you, today? » he asks awkwardly.

He doesn't know if Loony is aware of the whole Via's living-on-her-own-with-a-heavily-pregnant-imp-carrying-her-grandfather’s-baby situation, but he certainly wouldn't want to put his foot in it if she wasn't.

« No, she's at her work right now. »

« Her work? » Blitzø repeats, trying to mask his skepticism.

He just can't picture the girl working. Not only is she a Goetic princess, but unless he's mistaken, she's barely 18. Admittedly, Blitzø himself was much younger when he started working in the circus, but he's an imp. This sort of thing was normal for his kind, even expected. Via however comes from one of Pride's most influential noble families. He can't imagine her harpy of a mother agreeing with her only child working with the plebs.

But he doesn't suppose Stella has any say in the matter anymore, does she? At least, that's how he understands the current situation. They didn't talk much about Via and Vanny's living arrangements during the meeting, as the whole group had a lot of questions about feeding and changing babies. And rightly so, since that was the purpose of the whole venture.

(Well, the real purpose was for Fizz to meddle in his friend's life, but since Blitzø has already agreed to forgive him, he won't go back on it.)

« Yes, she works part-time in a bakery between classes. She's enrolled at Imp City Community College », Vanny explains with a slight wince.

This time, Blitzø can't help but open his mouth in astonishment.

« But... how does she fit? I mean... she’d have to bend her legs three or four ways to sit at an imp's desk! »

Satan knows that Blitzø used to be very uncomfortable in a palace specially designed for the Goetia, but at least he was never hurt by the furniture!

« Are you guys talking about Via? » asks Loony, looking up from the corner where she's playing with the twins.

Lobster is wrapped around his cousin's forearm, while Pepper tries to grab her index finger with her tiny tail, but the hellhound pulls it out of her reach every time. Blitzø would be incredibly frustrated by such a game, but the babies love it.

(Provided, of course, that they eventually catch the finger. Otherwise, the noise machines would never stop.)

« Yes. She's my... roommate. And my friend », the young imp replies, cheeks flushed.

« Oh. You're Vanny », Loony says, with a small nod of acknowledgement.

« And you're Loona, right? You look even cooler in person! »

Loony gives the young imp a small smile, then turns to her father.

« They've set up a special chair and desk in the corner of the classroom for Via », she explains.

Vanny nods in agreement.

So Loony is aware of the whole situation, even if she doesn't know the details. That's a good thing. Blitzø would have hated lying to his daughter.

« Uh... excuse me, ladies, but who are you? »

« Oh... we're from Blitzø's support group », says Magda to Moxxie with her trademark enthusiasm.

Six pairs of eyes land on him. Three of them belong to women in various stages of pregnancy and seem to express hope. The other three are those of his employees, and are much more suspicious. Blitzø wonders if he could escape through his office window. Admittedly, it's a bit small, but if he pushed hard enough...

« I thought Blitzø only did the support group a favor once », Millie begins, frowning. « That's what you told us, isn't it, B? »

« That's right », confirms Blitzø, still wondering what they're doing here.

« Yes, Oz told us, but we discussed it with the others and decided we didn't agree, so we came here to change your mind », Magda retorts.

« Change my mind about what? »

Blitzø must have misunderstood. They certainly don't want him. He's so out of his depth in this support group it's almost comical. Killing things is something he could do with a blindfold on, and he'd still be good at it. Helping people, on the other hand, especially people in complicated situations with very specific needs like these women? He wouldn't know the first thing about that.

And yet Lavender gives him a warm smile.

« We want you back, sugar. »

Blitzø can only blink in stunned silence. When he finally comes to his senses, he has only three words for her.

« What? Why? No! »

« Please, Mister Blitzø », Vanny says with big, imploring eyes that would put Fizz's best pleading expression to shame.

(Probably because she doesn't try to charm or guilt him. She seems like a very sweet, gentle girl. Surely a boorish guy like him would offend her sensibilities.)

« We really need your help », adds Magda, with a beseeching expression that isn't quite as convincing as Vanny’s but seems genuine nonetheless.

Lavender simply gives Blitzø a gentle, patient smile, as if she trusts him to make the right decision.

The problem is, he's already did.

« You don't need me! » he replies, a little desperate. « I’m the last person who should be filling that role! Lavender, you know you'd be much better than me. »

« I know nothing of the sort », she replies firmly. « On the contrary, I need your help just as much as the others! Maybe even more so. I'm not as young and energetic as they are! I need tips on how to handle my kid when the time comes. »

That's a blatant lie. Blitzø has seen her dance. The woman has the flexibility of a contortionist and can go at it for hours.

« I knew it! » Millie exclaims with a triumphant smile. « I knew you hadn't botched the meeting and that it was just your brain that was being mean to you again! »

Blitzø should never have told her what his therapist had said that time. Now, whenever he doubts his ability to do anything, especially emotionally, she's convinced that it's his brain that's working against him, not the fact that he's a walking disaster.

(Which is what his former therapist repeatedly said to him. And that he's also told Millie. Except that, for some reason, she refuses to take that assessment into account.)

« Mills... this really isn't the time. Girls… I don't know what to say. Apart from the fact that it’s a terrible idea. Unless… it wasn't Fizz who put you up to this, was it? » he asks, suddenly suspicious.

Magda shakes her head vigorously, while Vanny frowns and says:

« Who's Fizz? »

However, a slight smile appears on Lavender's lips.

« Actually, I'm the one who talked to Ozzie and Fizz. Our entertainer told me that you were convinced that the meeting was a disaster and you made him promise not to interfere in the future. He also said we were welcome to try and change your mind. »

Oh, that fucking two-faced little asshole. This time, for sure, Blitzø is going to strangle him to death with his own jester's hat. It'd even be worth getting violently murdered by the Sin of Lust right afterwards.

(At least that way, all of his problems would be solved. And he's sure that M&M, Loony and Mrs. K would take good care of the twins when he’s gone.)

« I’m so going to murder him », he murmurs, rubbing his face with both hands.

« Pretty sure Oz wouldn't like that », giggles Magda.

« Don't care. We wouldn't be here if he hadn't meddled. »

« But... we are. Here. And you really helped us », Vanny says shyly. « I feel a lot more confident after everything you told us last time. »

« I told you your kids would scream for no reason for hours on end and the smell of their shit would be so horrible you'd want to cauterize your own nostrils », Blitzø incredulously retorts.
Moxxie can only gape and Millie instinctively winces. Loony shrugs.

« Well... you're not wrong », she comments.

« And I'd rather people tell me the ugly truth than hear pretty lies and be completely caught off guard when reality hits me », Lavender adds, crossing her arms.

Blitzø does actually see her point. But he still feels it would be a terrible idea.

« I’m not… » he starts, racking his brains for a valid reason to refuse.

« Blitzø, if I may », says Moxxie. « These ladies have come all this way to ask you to host another session. Perhaps you could give it another try. If you or they don't think it's working, then you can all cut your losses and they can look for another solution. »

Blitzø gives the younger imp a glare that Moxxie completely ignores, smiling encouragingly at the girls. Millie nods vigorously.

« He's right, B! »

« You should do it, Dad. I mean, what could go wrong? »

« Famous last words », Blitzø mutters under his breath.

Besides, the fact that Loony and Moxxie agree on something could very well be a sign of the Apocalypse. But Blitzø knows when he’s been beaten, and even he can’t go against six person so clearly determined to get him to do something.

« Fine », he says, admitting defeat. « I’ll do it! »

Millie claps enthusiastically and Moxxie gives him a warm smile. Loony simply nods and goes back to playing with the twins.

« Thank you, Mr Blitzø », says Vanny.

« But I have conditions! » he says, holding up a finger. « Firstly, I want you to tell me if I'm making you feel uncomfortable. Any of you. I'll do my best, but I... I'm not good with words. »

« Of course sugar. »

« Two, if after the meeting I still think it's a disaster, you'll agree to find a replacement. »

Magda narrows her eyes in suspicion.

« Define the parameters », she says with a seriousness he wouldn't have believed her capable of.

« What do you mean by that? »

« What would be your criteria for judging the failure of a meeting? »

« I… er… »

« Magda works on product quality », explains Lavender. « Objective criteria and detailed analysis are at the heart of her work. »

Imagining the bubbly succubus working on something so specific strikes him as even weirder than imagining Via working at all. And his face must give it away, because Magda shrugs and says, a little defensively:

« I can be a party girl and still be very dedicated to my work, you know? »

« Of course you can, sugar. »

« I… don't know », Blitzø replies. « If it feels… bad? »

« But that's not an objective criterion at all! » Magda replies curtly.

« Magda, if Mister Blitzø still isn't feeling it after the next meeting, it wouldn't be fair to force him to continue », Vanny interjects.

The succubus obviously disagrees, but crosses her arms with a pout.

« Oh, all right. But you'll have to promise to go into the meeting with an open mind and not decide out of hand that it won't work. »

« Oh, I like her! » says Millie, clapping her hand together.

Moxxie nods in agreement.

« Oh for fuck’s sake! I'll do it! » grumbles Blitzø. « But stop calling me Mr Blitzø. I've managed to get this one to stop calling me 'sir', so don't start now. Finally, let it be clear that Fizz isn't taking this opportunity to go back over the result of our bet. I won it, fair and square. »

Lavender grins.

« He told me you'd say that. And he promised he wouldn't take the cleaning crew away. »

« Good. Because I like a clean office. It's better for the babies. »

« And for us too! » says Moxxie, scrunching his nose.

His boss just rolls his eyes.

« So... it's a deal? » Magda asks.

Blitzø takes a deep sigh.

« Yes. »

« Thank you Mister... I mean Blitzø! I promise you won't regret it. »

Since he doesn't want to hurt Vanny's feelings, he doesn't reply to this. But he has serious doubts.

He has a strong suspicion that it's going to come back to bite him in the ass sooner or later...

Chapter 19: The host

Summary:

Stressed out to the max, Blitzø seeks help.

Notes:

I think we pretty much all agree that Blitzø is going to be great at this support group thing.
Apart from one of us.
Unfortunately, this one is Blitzø himself.

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

You'd think the second time would be easier. After all, Blitzø has already met everyone in the support group, including the non-pregnant princess. And this time, they’re the ones who came looking for him.

You’d be completely wrong.

Because now Blitzø feels he has something to prove.

Whether to them or to himself, he's not quite sure. But he feels the pressure all the same.

So, two days before the second meeting is supposed to take place, he decides to seek help from the only person he knows who has experience of this sort of thing. The King of Lust himself. He leaves the twins in M&M's care and heads for Ozzie's. But when he arrives outside the club and sees gruff-looking Jesse guarding the building, as usual, Blitzø grimaces. He probably should have called first and asked for an appointment, or something. Asmodeus certainly has a lot of things to do.

(One of those things being Blitzø's friend, by the way.)

To be honest, Blitzø was too afraid he'd chicken out if he called first. So he decided to go for it, come what may. It turns out, though, that Ozzie's is protected against impromptu portals. Which makes sense, when you think about it. He wouldn't put it past Crimson to send fucking Striker to kidnap Fizz straight from his boyfriend’s club. And that asshole assassin is just crazy enough to try.

Blitzø is pondering whether to call Fizz to ask if Ozzie is available when Jesse's gaze lands on him. He sighs loudly and decides to at least ask.

« Hi », he says, awkwardly rubbing his neck. « I’m here to see Asmodeus. I... I have a few questions about support groups, as mine has another meeting in a couple of days. »

What's gotten into him? Since when is he the kind of guy who feels compelled to justify himself to some half-breed bouncer who dislikes him?

Curiously, Jesse gives a little nod.

« Yeah, Madga told me that she, Lav and that cute little imp wanted to see you about it. »

Is that the shadow of a smile on his lips? Is he interested in pretty Vanny? Blitzø can't really blame him, but she's so young...

(Although King Paimon is certainly centuries old, come to think of it. Millennia, even. Maybe Vanny is into older dudes. And Blitzø has to admit, Jesse is far from unpleasant to look at...)

« Well, they did and I agreed to give it another try, but I... I want to make sure it goes well and I thought Asmodeus could give me some pointers. »

Blitzø has rarely felt so vulnerable, and he can feel his tail swishing back and forth, betraying his nervousness. Jesse doesn't seem to notice, but puts on a thoughtful expression.

« Normally, I'd have to send you away, as King Oz is very busy, but he has an appointment in twenty minutes and I know he's waiting for them in his office. So if you think you can squeeze all your questions in that timeframe, I'd say go for it. »

Blitzø can't help but let out a small gasp of surprise. This has to be the most pleasant interaction he's had with the bouncer since they met. Actually, no, scratch that: it has to be the most pleasant interaction he's ever had with anyone outside his immediate circle.

« Thanks. It’s really nice of you. »

This time, he can't miss the small smile on Jesse's lips.

« No problem. Just make sure the girls have a good time. Lucifer knows they need it. »

It's almost as if the bouncer genuinely cares. Which is odd, because he's barely met Vanny. But maybe he's talking about Madga, or Lavender, this time? Not only are they both his colleagues (sort of), but he calls the Slothian demon by her nickname. Maybe they're closer than they seem.

« I will. Come to think of it, do you know who I could talk to for supplies? The last buffet was missing a few key items, like raw meat, pickles, sour cream and cheese puffs from Thanissa's in Imp City. Both the flaming and non-flaming variety. »

(Blitzø knows he's pushing the envelope, but nothing ventured, nothing gained. Besides, apart from the flaming cheese puffs, all of this really is for the women in his support group. And who knows, maybe Octavia would like the flaming cheese puffs. Her father enjoyed a little spice, once in a while. Or at least he used to...)

Jesse frowns and Blitzø winces, fearing he'll get kicked out for being too greedy, but the bouncer just nods.

« I’ll take care of it. »

« Thanks, man. I really appreciate it. »

(This time, Blitzø is sure his therapist will be very proud of him. And as he realized recently, he loves being told he's been a good boy. What he really hopes, though, is that neither his daughter, nor Fizz, nor (worst of all) M&M ever hear about it, because they'd never leave him alone with that.)

He gives a little wave to the bouncer and enters the club. By now, he's been to Ozzie's often enough to know his way around, and less than a minute later he's in front of the owner's office. He knocks on the door.

« It's open. You're early, birdie babe. I wasn't… »

The smile dies on Ozzie's lips when he realizes it's Blitzø, not whomever he was expecting. The imp feels his nerves spinning out of control and is tempted to apologize and run away, but he remembers he's here for a reason, so he gives the Deadly Sin a bravado smile and enters the room.

« Hi, Ozzie. I'm sorry to bother you, but as you know, my next support group is in two days and I had a few questions to ask you. »

« Um... Of course, Blitzø. I'd be happy to answer any questions you might have. But this isn't the right time. You see, I already have an appointment and I wouldn't want to… »

« Yes, I've been told. I promise we can do this in under ten minutes! »

Ozzie's expression remains doubtful.

« Are you sure? »

« I only have two questions. It should be quick! »

« All right, then. Sit down, please. »

Blitzø takes the seat offered to him and almost immediately starts fiddling with the tip of his tail. He's much more nervous than he lets on. For starters, this may be the first time he's been alone with the Deadly Sin. Usually, Fizz is there as a buffer.

« So... how can I help you? » asks Ozzie, after a long moment of silence.

« Okay. The thing is, you see, I want to make sure the support group runs smoothly and everyone feels comfortable. But I know I'm rude and crass. I'll try not to be, but that's the way I am, the way I've been my whole life. It's going to come back from time to time, especially if I'm stressed. »

He doesn't add that he already is. He's pretty sure Ozzie knows.

« I understand your doubts », replies the Sin with a gentle smile, « and they're to your credit, but you don't have to change your personality to be a good host. As far as I know, Fizz and those women chose you for exactly who you are. Trying to be anyone else would go against what they're looking for. »

« I get it, but... two of them are very young. And one of them is sweet as a little hellbunny. I don't want to traumatize them or anything. »

Ozzie's smile turns approving and Blitzø feels something pleasant fluttering in his belly.

« Just the fact that you're trying is enough, I’d say. If you're out of line, apologize and try to do better next time. It'll go well, I'm sure. »

« Okayyyyy… »

Blitzø isn't quite sure he believes Ozzie, but the Deadly Sin is a lot more experienced than he is in this area. That's the very reason he's here, after all. And it's not as if there's some magic formula that'll stop him talking crudely, anyway...

« The second thing, then. And the most important, to be honest: how do you run a support group? The only meetings I've been to were the ones mandated by rehab, and to which I've brought my s... I accompanied someone. And it’s been a while. So I have no idea what I’m supposed to do… »

Ozzie rests his head on his clasped hands and takes on a pensive expression.

« Well, I would say that every support group is different and you should do what works for you and the participants. In mine, I like to start with a round of everyone present, asking them how they're getting on and if there's anything they'd like to share with the rest of the group. It's important to give everyone a chance to express themselves, which can be tricky as some people tend to monopolize the discussion. But it's also essential to leave them free to remain silent if they prefer. Some people feel better out of the spotlight. »

Reflecting on Magda's excessive enthusiasm and Gil's withdrawn attitude, Blitzø sees quite clearly what he means.

« I know I promised only to ask two questions and you've already helped me a lot, but... do you have any final advice? » he asks with his most innocent look.

Ozzie's yellow eyes sparkle with good humor and he chuckles.

« I understand why you and my Froggie are so close, even after all. All right, then. The main objective of these groups is to help people facing hardship to know that they are not alone and that there is someone who will listen to them. Of course, this depends on how much time and energy you have to give to these women. I usually tell my support group participants that I'm always there if they're having particular difficulties, but you can also pair them up for moral support, for example. And at the end of the meeting, don't forget to take the time to check in with them. Did they feel listened to? Do they feel less alone? If so, you've done your job well. »

Blitzø still isn't sure he can do it. He's still afraid of failing these women spectacularly, but at least he's got some advice on how to properly organize a meeting. He feels a little less lost. So he gives Ozzie a grateful smile and stands up.

« Thank you very much! You've been a great help. »

« You're welcome, Blitzø. Don't hesitate to come back if you have any more questions, or even to let me know how it went. Know that my door is open to you if you need anything. »

Blitzø's grateful smile isn't forced. He consults the clock above the desk and realizes that only nine minutes have passed. He gives the Deadly Sin a mischievous smile and a little wink, before leaving the office.

And he finds himself standing right in front of the demon he's spent the last five months actively trying not to think about.

« Stolas? »

Notes:

You'd think Blitzø being so well adjusted in his interactions with both Jesse and Ozzie would be a little out of character, and maybe, but time has passed, he's been in therapy and taken care of the twins.... I'd say he's grown up and matured.
Don't worry, he's still himself and perfectly capable of sticking his foot in it or throwing a tantrum... he wouldn't be Blitzø otherwise....

Also I'd like to point out that this is a huge improvement on my other fic: only 19 chapters in and these two are finally face to face.
(Of course, they're not going to make up on the spot. But it could go well... or not. Who knows? 🤭)

Chapter 20: The Prince

Summary:

After more than 6 months apart, they meet again.

Notes:

As it turns out, my muse didn't want to let me go to sleep until I finished this chapter. So you get two for the price of one this week.
Fair warning, it's also a lot more angsty than I expected... 🥺

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

At first, Blitzø can only blink, frozen in stunned silence. But after a few awkward seconds, he can’t stop himself and slowly checks out the Prince from his upper pair of eyes to his taloned feet.

Stolas is wearing an outfit that Blitzø has never seen on him before. It's probably the most sober and classy he's ever worn: a fitted black vest, fastened at the side with small silver buttons, over a black shirt with puffed sleeves and a ruffle, a velvet ribbon pinned with a silver brooch around his neck.

He's drop-dead gorgeous.

Blitzø really hopes he's not drooling right now. Hell, he was so sure he'd exaggerated Stolas' appearance in his imagination. (He sent Fizz the only photo he'd taken of him furtively one night long ago, for safekeeping, before he erased it from his own phone, to stop obsessively looking at it for hours on end.) Turns out the fucking owl is even more beautiful than he remembered. And much more regal too, perfectly poised and graceful.

In comparison, Blitzø feels like absolute trash.

Part of him wants to lash out, another feels like running as fast and as far as he can, but it seems his masochistic side has control over his brain, so he stays put.

« Blitz... Blitzø? » asks Stolas, in an incredulous voice, as if he can't believe he's found him here, of all places.

Which makes sense. After all, the last time they were at Ozzie's marked the beginning of the end of their relationship. Even if ‘relationship’ isn't the right word to describe what they were to each other.

(Blitzø isn't sure there is one for it, to be honest.)

« Yeah, it's me… » he says, rubbing the back of his neck in embarrassment, while his tail wraps around his abdomen in an instinctive gesture of comfort. « I… uh… I believe Ozzie's expecting you. »

Now that he thinks about it, he doesn't understand how he didn't notice the obvious. Of course Ozzie was waiting for Stolas. He even called him ‘Birdie babe’ when he walked into his office. As far as Blitzø knows, there are no bird demons in Hell other than the Ars Goetia. Plus the Deadly Sin and the owl are friends. He knows it, and has known it for some time.

No wonder Ozzie wasn’t too keen on Blitzø entering his office.

He’s about to leave when Stolas grabs his wrist.

« Blitzø, wait! »

It's the first time he's been this close to the bird in months. More than half a year, in fact. And yet, some part of his brain is still conditioned to react to his proximity, to his touch. He feels the urge to pull him down and kiss him messily, like he used to. As if it meant something. Anything.

But then he remembers their last full moon, when he tried to grab Stolas and the Prince simply transported him out of his palace with his magic. And desire turns to anger.

« Let go of me », he says in a cold, cutting voice, before adding, reluctantly, « Please. »

« Of course », Stolas replies, immediately releasing his wrist. « Sorry. »

Blitzø doesn't want to find his sheepish look cute. But he does anyway. And that makes him even angrier.

« What do you want? »

« I… um... How are you? »

Blitzø blinks a few times before exploding.

« Really, Stolas? Small talk? Like it hasn't been six fucking months since we've seen each other? Like you haven’t… »

Thrown me out of your palace like a piece of trash!

Gone to Verosika's hate-fest just to spite me!

Reminded me, when I confessed to you for the first time in my life that I felt like no one could ever have feelings for me, that all those people were there because I'd ruined their lives!

Sang in front of those haters that I was incapable of feeling anything!

Kissed a fucking incubus right in front of me!

Ignored me for the last six months!

Blitzø doesn't know how he keeps these harsh remarks to himself instead of throwing them in the other man's face, but he does. Deep down, he knows he pushed Stolas too far to begin with, and that's why the owl acted the way he did. But that doesn't mean he wasn't deeply hurt by his behavior.

Maybe it's time to talk to his therapist about him.

Too bad she's not here right now.

« I’m… I'm sorry, Blitzø », says Stolas in a barely audible voice. « It's like I don't know how to act around you anymore. »

Blitzø clenches his fists. The urge to even the score, to remind Stolas of all the wrongs he's done him is stronger this time. He raises his head, ready to strike.

Then he sees the owl's face. The tears in his eyes. The look of despondency.

And his anger deflates like a balloon.

He lets out a deep sigh.

« Maybe you don't need to, Stolas. I mean... we've managed to avoid each other pretty well over the last six months. I'm sure the chances of us meeting again are relatively small. But if it does happen, let's just say hello and go our separate ways. »

Tears roll down Stolas' cheeks.

« Is this… » he swallows, before adding, in a strained voice, « Is this what you want? »

What he wants?

When did Stolas ever care what Blitzø wanted?

« What I want », he says, « is to be listened to. To be respected. To be accepted for who I am. And maybe I don't des… »

He stops abruptly. He can almost hear his therapist saying: « You have the right to want things for yourself, Blitzø. No matter what's happened to you in the past, you deserve happiness, just like anyone else. »

« I thought for a long time that I didn't deserve these things », he corrects. « But maybe I was wrong. Maybe I can get what I want. Maybe I deserve to be happy. »

Stolas falls to his knees and takes Blitzø in his arms, clinging to him like a drowning man to a buoy. The gesture is so sudden and the sensation of his body against his so painfully familiar that Blitzø gives in. He can't help but breathe in the scent of lavender, grass and earth that he's always associated with the bird. And it takes everything in him not to hug him back. Because he'd never be able to let go if he did.

« I hope you find happiness, Blitzy. It's all I've ever wanted for you. And I'm sorry for everything I've done to make you unhappy », Stolas whispers, before releasing him and getting to his feet.

An apology is certainly the last thing Blitzø expected from him. He looks up and sees the white pupils, very visible in Stolas' glowing cherry-red eyes. They're still full of tears, but he seems more at peace, somehow. He even gives him a tremulous smile.

« Thank you, Stolas. And I'm sorry I hurt you. I never intended to, you must know that. For what it's worth, I... I hope you find happiness too. »

Blitzø means it. He may still resent Stolas for a lot of things, but he wants him to be happy.

Even if it's not with him.

« I… I'll let you go to your meeting, then. You don't want to keep Ozzie waiting. »

In fact, he's a little surprised that the Deadly Sin hasn't left his office to search for his friend. But maybe he heard them talking and decided to give them a little privacy?

At least Blitzø can now honestly tell his therapist that he's moved on. That he's got some kind of closure. Which is a good thing. He knows that. And he and Stolas had been over for months, anyway.

So why does he feel like he can't breathe?

Too afraid of falling apart if he remains a second longer, Blitzø sets off without a backward glance. Each step sounds like a nail being hammered into his own coffin, and makes him feel as if another little piece of his heart is falling out. But he keeps walking, until he's through the door.

« Everything all right? »

With all this, he'd forgotten about Jesse. The hybrid bouncer looks at him with something akin to concern. Blitzø wipes his eyes with his sleeves and tries to smile. It probably looks a lot more like a grimace, but it's the best he can manage.

« It's gonna be fine. Thanks again for letting me in », he mumbles, not daring to look the bouncer in the eye.

Without another word, Jesse gives him a little pat on the shoulder.

Feeling raw and more exposed than ever, Blitzø quickly summons a portal that leads to M&M's living room.

(Unlike Ozzie, the couple didn't think to protect their home from impromptu portals. Too bad he stopped entering their home to watch them have sex.)

« Hello B! » Millie exclaims. « You're right on time. The twins are just waking up from their nap. »

Her smile dies on her lips when she sees his face.

« B ? » she asks, concern evident in her voice.

But Blitzø is no longer able to formulate words. He simply shakes his head and drops to the ground, arms and tail wrapped around his trembling body.

Seconds later, Millie is sitting right next to him, hugging him fiercely.

« It's okay, B. It's gonna be okay. »

He lets himself go in her embrace, finding some comfort in the care and love emanating from her.

Then Moxxie and the twins hug him too. Between the five of them, they must form some kind of bizarre, shapeless figure, linked together by the ropes of their tails. After a few moments, a low purr starts from the back of Millie's throat, then Moxxie joins in. Pepper and Lobster make noises that aren't yet purrs, but are close enough.

Despite himself, a small smile appears on Blitzø's lips.

He's not okay.

But he's not alone.

There are people who care for him. People he loves and who love him back, despite all his faults.

He's not okay. But he will be.

And one day, with a lot of luck, he might even be happy.

Notes:

I’m not going to lie, I was hoping for a better outcome to this discussion, but those boys emotions are all over the place. At least they communicated a bit this time and even apologized, even if it stayed pretty vague. Let's hope their next meeting goes better! 🤞

(Because despite this sounding very much like goodbyes, of course they’ll see each other again. A lot sooner than they expect, in fact.)

I’ve been inspired by this gorgeous drawing of Stolas for the outfit he’s wearing.

On a personal note, I'm not okay. I haven't been for a while, now. For a long time, fanfiction was an outlet for the other harsh things in my life, but it has become more of a pressure and a source of stress than of happiness lately.
I'll come back to this fic eventually, because I want to finish it, but I need a real break.
Thanks to all of you who commented my stories. It meant the world to me. If you read all until here and liked it, please consider leaving a comment or a kudo. 🥹

Chapter 21: The talk-over

Summary:

The second meeting of the support group gets a little off track...

Notes:

Reading again last chapter, I realized I could very well have ended the story there. It could have worked, at least on the Stolitz front. But I hate bittersweet endings. I want those two to be happy, and they only took the second step in getting back together (the first one was seeking help for their own problems).

Also, what about the twins/Barbie/the babies/Paimon’s latest egg/Via/the support group(s)/the rest of Verosika’s band of succu-bitches?

This story is far from over, people.

And so, the angst is back… 🤦‍♀️

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Two days later, Blitzø is pacing back and forth while waiting for the girls to arrive.

This time, Fizz isn't there for moral support. He's taken ill and Asmodeus is forcing him to stay in bed. And not in a fun, sexy way, with ropes and all. Blitzø came to see his friend earlier in the day and Fizz looked even paler and sounded even more nasal than usual. Blitzø loudly sympathized with the ordeal of being alone in bed with nothing to do but watch TV or read magazines, which can quickly become a bore. (At least the whole ‘Asmodeus is in a committed relationship with an imp’ shitstorm finally subsided and those so-called journalists found someone else to fuck with. Good riddance.) Inwardly, though, Blitzø thought that Ozzie was right: Fizz needs rest, and he's not going to get it on his own.

The girls are due to arrive in half an hour. Ozzie's assistants have prepared the room, including food and drinks (apparently Jesse talked to someone, as promised, since there are pickles with sour cream, raw meat and even an assortment of cheese puffs, some with flavors Blitzø didn't even know about), the babies are asleep and Blitzø is all alone. So of course he thinks of him. The pretty bird. Which is even worse, now that he has a new mental image of Stolas, so beautiful in his princely attire. In the past, this would have turned him on. Today, it just makes him sad.

Blitzø is grateful to M&M for having been there when he broke down after their chance encounter, and even more so that they didn't tease him about it afterwards. He's not surprised when it comes to Millie, who's always so patient and kind to him (to everyone, actually... except their targets, when she goes berserk on them). But Moxxie... Blitzø would have at least expected a snide remark from him. Satan knows he'd have more than deserved it, with all he's put the younger imp through. But no, Moxxie hasn't said a word about it for two days now. It's always possible that he'll wait for Blitzø to get better before throwing in a nasty dig, but that's not his style.

The fact is, Blitzø knows he did the right thing that day. Or at least, he's pretty sure he did. Apologizing to Stolas for hurting him, then letting him go was the right thing to do. It had to be. Of course, it was going to hurt, because Blitzø had... still has feelings for the bird.

He may even love him.

(He isn't ready to admit it to anyone, not even his therapist, but it's time to admit it to himself, at least.)

Blitzø misses Stolas. Much more than he thought he would. Even now, even after all this time. That's how he realized that his feelings were real and deep, like the ones he once had for Fizz. And just like it had back then, it all blew up in his face. But not as literally this time.

He doesn't know what Stolas remembers about that night. Not the full moon. The party. The bird was pretty drunk. And it turns out he's a mean drunk. Who'd have thought? Blitzø is used to it. His father was a professional at this. And on the Cash Buckzo scale, Stolas was pretty low. Yet Blitzø remembers every word the bird said to him. And many of them hurt, like stab wounds. Whether Stolas himself remembers or not is irrelevant. Blitzø is the one who carries them with him.

Which makes the situation even more messed up. Because despite the fact that he misses Stolas like crazy and dreams about him far more often than he'd like

(okay, at this point, even once would be more than he'd like, but it happens a lot more often than that. Unfortunately)

That's not to say that Blitzø isn't angry with him anymore. He is. Very much so, in fact. Because of what Stolas did.

The portal out of his manor.

The song.

The incubus.

The radio silence ever since.

But more than that, for what he said.

« Blitzø. There is a crowd full of people here who cared so much, they thrown an entire fucking party about hating you, every year! »

Those are the words he can't forgive. And he knows it's nothing compared to everything that's happened between them and that he himself has said some pretty shitty things, but for the first time ever

(or at least, the first time since his mom died)

he showed real vulnerability to someone else.

And Stolas threw it back in his face.

And yes, the bird did apologize. Which was the last thing Blitzø expected him to do, to be honest. He’s still shocked by it. But the apology felt generic. Stolas never meant to hurt him, Blitzø is sure of that. But he did it anyway. And it’s clear he still doesn't understand how or why his words wounded Blitzø so deeply. Maybe because he was so drunk he can't remember their conversation at the party. Or maybe because he doesn't know Blitzø at all, still can’t see the real person behind the sex plaything and the alpha-male bullshit he got him to play so many times during their full-moon encounters.

« Who cares! It's not like he loved you for real!!! » he screams, both hands plastered over his eyes, fighting back those stupid fucking tears that threaten to spill any second.

Then he remembers the twins and freezes in horror, before looking at the playpen where they sleep like perfect little treasures.

(The playpen was installed by Asmodeus' assistants, by the way. They even thought of that when setting up the meeting room.)

Blitzø breathes a sigh of relief. Which is short-lived, as a hesitant voice rises behind his back:

« Uh... hello? »

Clenching his fists, he turns around to see Magda, Lavender, Vanny, Gil and Kiki looking at him with varying degrees of surprise and concern.

And he finds himself praying to Lucifer for a hole to open up beneath his feet and swallow him whole, to avoid explaining his second breakdown in as many days to people he barely knows.

Of course, said hole never manifests itself.

At least Octavia doesn't seem to be there. Small favors, he guesses.

« Is everything all right, sugar? » Lavender asks, worry evident on her face.

« Of course », he lies. « I was... uh… »

He wracks his brains for a credible excuse and comes up with nothing. Then he hears himself say:

« I met my ex two days ago and I've been thinking about it a lot. »

He's not sure Stolas can be considered as such, since they weren't really together in the first place.

But it sure feels that way.

(For the first time, Blitzø is genuinely sorry about what happened with Verosika. She's still a bitch and has put him through a lot since then, but if she felt a fraction of what he's feeling right now when he left her, then he's truly sorry. If karma is real, he got what he deserved. Even if it isn't, she can feel vindicated. Blitzø had a taste of his own medicine.

His therapist doesn't think anything is ‘deserved’. She believes that a person should be held accountable and take responsibility for their actions, but that doesn't mean that same person deserves to suffer forever because of it. With her help, he has been working hard to ‘deconstruct his preconceptions’ on this subject. She often uses his Loony as an example, which is a low blow, because Blitzø would never want anything bad to happen to his daughter, no matter the circumstances.

But he still finds it hard to believe that he deserves better.

He should apologize to Verosika. Properly. And maybe pay her back what he stole.)

« Oh, poor you. Do you want to talk about it? » asks Kiki in a concerned voice, while Magda pours him a drink and Vanny pats him on the back.

Blitzø doesn't know whether to cry, scream or laugh. The fact that these women, who are all alone in their pregnancy because their babies have deadbeat, no-show dads, are worried about him, a male in his mid-thirties with a shitty temper and a loaded past, humbles him completely.

He feels so shitty right now.

« I’m sorry », he mumbles, lowering his eyes. « I shouldn't have brought it up. Please, help yourself to drinks and food. Gil, there's meat for you. Lavender, I hope you're still eating those pickles dipped in sour cream, because there's plenty waiting for you. »

« Mist... Blitzø », says Vanny, and her tone is so serious that Blitzø raises his head to look at her.

Her face is resolute and she looks him straight in the eye before continuing:

« We're a group. We're supposed to be there for each other. And you're one of us. »

« I’m not… » he begins, but she cuts him off.

« You're taking care of your big girl and those two little wonders over there all by yourself. »

« But I'm not alone », he protests again.

« Shut up and let me finish », retorts Vanny, in a tone both gentle and firm.

Blitzø is so taken aback by her unexpected assurance that he complies.

« Yes, you have friends to help you, as we all do, to a certain degree. But at the end of the day, it was you who chose the responsibility of taking these children and giving them a home. You had the choice and you made it. »

He waits a few seconds to make sure she's finished, this time, and replies:

« What choice? I wasn't going to leave those babies on the street! »

She gives him a smile that makes her dark eyes sparkle and is so beautiful that he can only stare at her for a couple of seconds.

« No, you wouldn't. Because you're a good man and you want to help others. That's what I'm getting at. »

« Excuse me, but... are you high? Because that's strongly discouraged while you're pregnant. »

She frowns, puzzled.

« I’m not a good man! I'm a selfish piece of shit! » he exclaims, his heart beating at an abnormal speed.

« Of course you are, sugar », Lavender replies with a benevolent smile.

« That's why you let your friend talk you into running a support group for pregnant women, and why you gave in a second time when we came to ask you to come back », adds Magda with an amused snort.

« Or why you faced the ex who organizes a hate fest every year to make sure I could attend », Kiki agrees, raising an eyebrow.

« It was Moxxie's idea », mumbles Blitzø, who feels his cheeks reddening by the second.

He hates it when people say nice things about him that he doesn't feel worthy of.

« Whether you want to admit it or not, you're one of us, sugar », Lavender says patiently. « And we look out for each other. So why don't you talk about that ex? It might do you good to open up about it. »

Blitzø sighs.

The thing is, Asmodeus insisted that no one in a support group should be forced to talk about something when they don't feel like it. And he figures that if he told them he didn't want to talk about Stolas, they wouldn't insist. He may not be a good man, but they are good people.

Except that would be a lie.

He wants to talk about Stolas. About how doing the right thing, for once, hurts so much. And it's not as if they're personally involved. Sure, Vanny lives with Stolas' daughter and Kiki works for Blitzø's most hateful ex, but he doesn't believe they'd look down on him if he told them.

So he sits down on a chair, wraps his tail around his middle, focuses his eyes on his lap and starts talking.

And Lavender was right: he does feel better afterwards.

But he still makes them all (especially Kiki and Vanny) swear on their babies not to tell anyone else.

Notes:

A word about Blitzø’s interpretation of Stolas’ words at the party. I read somewhere that what Stolas actually meant was that there had been many people who cared for Blitzø over the years and that this care turned into hate (who isn’t much better, to be honest). But when I heard those words for the first time, I was both furious and hurt, because it felt careless, callous and cruel. And I feel like that’s exactly how Blitzø himself interpreted them. You can see on his face how deeply hurt he is.

(And no, I don’t hate Stolas. But I’m still angry at him for that.)

Chapter 22: Interlude 2: The prince who admits defeat

Summary:

Stolas can take a hint. He knows Blitzø doesn’t want to see him anymore…

Notes:

Double feature this weekend, yay!

As some of you asked for Stolas' reaction to their chance encounter, here's the companion interlude to yesterday's chapter.

This one was a pain to write, for various reasons, especially the fact that the discussion didn’t feel organic at all in its first version.
I cut out a good chunk and re-arranged other parts and now I am… mostly satisfied with it.

Hope you’ll like it!

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

« And then he said he wished me happiness and started to walk away. He opened a portal and just… left. He didn't even look back once », murmurs Stolas, trying to keep a dignified face, but failing miserably.

What he doesn't say is that Asmodeus found him a couple of minutes later, sobbing like a nestling in the hall, where any of the King of Lust's employees could have seen him. His friend offered him a warm blanket and hot chocolate with sex-themed marshmallows. Of course, Stolas would have preferred something a little stronger, but as a recovering alcoholic, that was never an option.

At least this time he isn't crying. Verosika puts a hand on his arm and presses gently. He's grateful that she's keeping her feelings about Blitzø to herself. When he first told her about their chance encounter, a week earlier, she was very harsh and accused his darling imp of being obtuse on purpose. Of course, Stolas defended Blitzy’s character and the two of them exchanged heated words. The conversation was cut short when Verosika hung up on him, and Stolas found himself even sadder and more alone than before.

« I’m ashamed to say I wasn't strong enough and tried to get some absinthe that night », he goes on, his cheeks reddening. « Luckily, my butler refused to bring me any alcohol and I didn't know where I could acquire some on my own. »

This isn't entirely true. Ozzie's is one such place, but Stolas didn't want to disappoint or insult Asmodeus by drinking himself into a stupor in the Deadly Sin’s own bar.

« Good thing you can't do anything without your butler, then… » comments Angie, but he winks and grins so Stolas knows it's done without malice.

« Yes, it's a good thing I can't do anything on my own », he replies self-deprecatingly.

It sounds much more bitter than he meant for it to be.

« Come on, Feathers. You know I'm only kidding, right? » Angie says, sounding genuinely sorry. « The truth is, it's good that there are people around you that you can count on not to let you fall back into addiction when you're at your lowest. Believe me, you're not the only one. I live in a hotel and almost every member of the staff has had to intervene at least once to prevent me from relapsing. »

« And that's why I introduced the buddy system », adds Asmodeus, frowning. « Next time you find yourself in such a state, please call me. I'm here for you, birdie babe. You know that. »

Stolas nods, a lump in his throat. He could tell Asmodeus he didn't want to impose on him any more, not after the poor Sin had to listen to him rant for nearly two hours about how he'd forever ruined any chance of a relationship, or even simple friendship, with his dearest imp.

But to be honest, that was never the reason.

The ugly truth is that he's jealous of the perfect relationship the Deadly Sin has with his own imp lover. Asmodeus, he's sure, never had to force Fizzarolli into a relationship with him. Nor has he ever humiliated or belittled the imp he loves in public. On the contrary, he stood proudly between Fizzarolli and Mammon, not only to defend his boyfriend, but also to claim his love for him in front of a crowd. Asmodeus knew the consequences would be dire, but he never wavered. If only Stolas had had the courage to show his love for his Blitzy, to proclaim it publicly instead of hiding his feelings, letting them fester until he could no longer keep them to himself and ended up making a mess of everything.

But the curtain has long since fallen, the play is over, and it's too late for him to change what happened.

« I know », he says, forcing a smile onto his beak. « And I will. I promise. Anyway, he made it clear he didn't want me in his life anymore and I'm going to respect his decision. »

And Stolas means it. His darling imp is done with him, and rightly so, but he has other people in his life for whom he wants to be better. Via, especially. His owlette has agreed to give him another chance to be a good father and he's not going to let her down. Never again.

« No, he didn’t. »

The one who has just spoken is a middle-aged Greedish woman, with a multicolored fin on her head and bright crystal-blue eyes. Everyone looks at her in amazement, as it's the first time they've heard the sound of her voice, even though she's been coming to every session for nearly three months. Even she seems surprised to have spoken, for her cheeks darken.

« I’m glad you’re ready to speak », intervenes Asmodeus with a beaming smile. « What's your name? »

The woman gives him an almost shy look.

« Uh... I’m Bobby », she says.

« Well, it’s really nice to hear your voice, Bobby! What were you saying? »

Everyone is looking at the Greedish woman now, which seems to make her very uncomfortable. Nevertheless, she turns her gaze to Stolas and says, in a clear voice:

« You said your ex didn't want you in his life anymore, but it was never about that. You simply didn't listen to him. »

« I beg your pardon? » says Stolas, taken aback, at the same time Verosika exclaims:

« Are you fucking kidding me? »

« Perhaps it would be best if we stuck to the meeting, and not each other's personal business… » says Asmodeus in a gentle but firm tone.

It would take a lot more to discourage Verosika, unfortunately.

« Hell, no! I won't let that bitch attack my friend! » she retorts, fire in her eyes.

« I’m not attacking him, I'm just sharing my view of things » Bobby calmly replies.

Paradoxically, she seems less disturbed by the succubus’ outburst than by the attention of the rest of the group.

« Well, nobody wants to hear your point of view on things you know nothing about! »

« Actually... I do », says Stolas.

It's hard to say which of Verosika, Asmodeus and Bobby is more surprised by his intervention. The succubus, however, is the first to pull herself together.

« Are you sure, handsome? » she asks him with a concerned gaze.

He nods.

« Okay, then. I'm shutting up » Verosika says, raising both hands in defeat.

« What did you mean by that? » Stolas asks Bobby.

« Well, he said he wanted to be listened to, respected and accepted », she replies, crossing her arms with a reproachful glare.

« Yes? » says Stolas, who has to make enormous efforts to keep his composure.

He knows exactly what Blitzy said. He wonders if he'll ever forget this moment. The confident smile that lit up the imp's handsome face as he left Asmodeus' office was so beautiful it took Stolas' breath away. He must have looked like a complete idiot, or worse, a creep, staring at him in absolute silence, devouring him with his eyes.
The smile had disappeared as soon as Blitzy had realized Stolas was there, by the way.

« He told you he wanted to be listened to, and the first thing you did was interpret his words as if they were directed at you. They weren't. It was never about you, but you acted as if it was. So you proved him right. You didn't listen. »

Stolas' breath catches in his throat.

Part of him wants to retort, to explain himself, to contradict her. But that would be dishonest. Deep down, he has to admit she's right. And he’s not the only one.

« Damn. I hate to say it, handsome, especially since you know how I feel about that motherfucker, but she's got a point », Verosika comments with a grimace.

« I mean, yeah, but it doesn’t necessarily mean Stolly’s ex wants him to listen, though », comments Angie after a few seconds of uncomfortable silence.

All heads turn to Bobby, who shrugs.

« I never said that's what he wanted. I don't know the guy. But it seems to me that Stolas doesn't know him very well either, so… »

Stolas feels like scoffing. Of course he knows his darling imp! He knows everything about him. How to make his whole body quiver. The look on his face when he comes. How he feels, everywhere. The taste of his lips, of his skin. The warmth...

« What makes you think that? » Asmodeus asks, curious.

« The way he talks about him. As if he were less a person than... some kind of perfect, magical creature. Clearly she knows the ex better than he does, although I'm pretty sure she didn't know him all that well either » Bobby states with a smirk, pointing to Verosika with her head.

« You know, I think I liked you better when you weren't talking » Verosika declares, although she doesn't sound as biting as when she's really upset.

In fact, she looks pensive.

Stolas, on the other hand, is offended.

« I know him! » he proclaims angrily.

Blitzø likes cheese and red hot pepper sauce.

He adores horses.

His daughter and friends mean everything to him.

He's smart, resourceful and incredibly funny.

There's nothing he loves more than a real challenge.

(Too bad Stolas never was one for him.)

« Really? » asks Bobby, raising an eyebrow. « How many brothers and sisters does he have? »

The question seemingly comes out of nowhere, and Stolas realizes with a mixture of shame and dread that he has no idea. Since he hardly ever sees his siblings, and Via is an only child, he assumed that Blitzø was too, or that he simply wasn't very close to his own family, apart from his daughter, of course. Still, it seems like something he should have at least known.

« I… don't know. »

« He has a twin sister », declares Verosika. « Barbie. But they've fallen out for some time now. »

Stolas stares at the succubus, astonished. His Blitzy has a twin sister? Does she look like him? How long has it been since they've seen each other? Does he miss her? Does she miss him as much as Stolas does?

« Well, I'm not sure my closest friends know about my own siblings », Angie interjects, with a pensive pout. « And I'm pretty close to my sister. Ask another question. »

« Okay... what's his favorite color? What does he have for breakfast? What does he do when he's not at work? »

« I’d say... black? » answers Stolas, but he's not at all sure.

It's just the color he's seen Blitzy wear most often. But maybe that's simply because it suits him. Although Stolas can't see what wouldn't.

« Scrambled eggs with red pepper sauce and lots of cheese », Verosika answers the second question, and she sounds a lot more assured than he does.

He's also relieved that his guess would have been the right one.

« And he draws horses », concludes Stolas, quite confident in this answer this time.

He fondly remembers all the times Blitzy told him about the horses he drew and the exciting stories he imagined about them. It's one of the three things his dearest imp never needed prompting to talk about, the others being his daughter and his business, especially the complicated murders he and his employees put together.

Stolas crosses his arms and looks at Bobby, a little reassured because he knows Blitzy, despite what she said. But Bobby doesn't seem the least bit upset. On the contrary, she gives him a sympathetic smile. It's then that Stolas realizes the inanity of his assertion. He knows the bare minimum of what you need to know about another person you're in a relationship with. But there's so much more he doesn't know. And yes, his beloved imp is a secretive person, who doesn't like to talk about his past. But that's not the only reason. As Bobby hinted from the start, this is more about Stolas than Blitzy.

« I don't know what to do », he confesses.

« Well... it seems pretty obvious to me », says Angie with a grin.

« Really? »

Verosika seems as dubious as Stolas.

« Of course, honeycakes. You've got to show the guy you're really interested. You have to woo him. »

Notes:

I'd like to point out that Verosika's reaction after that suggestion from Angel Dust was "Are you high?". But the seeds have been planted in Stolas' mind. We'll see if they take...

I can’t say when I’ll next update. I'd like to say next weekend, but I don’t know for sure. I’ll do my best, but be patient and indulgent with me if I don’t!

Chapter 23: The call

Summary:

Blitzø is asked to lend moral support. He's pretty sure he won't qualify, but he'll do his best...

Notes:

Three chapters in a row. That's what happens when Monday is an holiday and I'd do pretty much whatever instead of chores and cleaning my apartment.

Also, the fact that you guys seemed to enjoy last chapter (and especially Bobby 😁 ) gave me extra motivation to write!

(I'll definitely be adding more interludes later in the story!
And yes, Stolas will most certainly try to woo Blitzø in the near future, but not just yet.
Sorry to disappoint you, but you'll have to wait a little longer for that subplot...)

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

It's late evening and Blitzø is relaxing on his couch, watching his favorite movie of all time and explaining the plot outline to the twins. These two are very intelligent for their age (which, according to Mrs. K, can be anywhere between four and six months), but they're just starting to recognize things. One can't expect them to understand the complex intricacies of a film…

« So I know Spirit has been captured once again », Blitzø says in a soothing voice. « It's very sad and we’re really worried about him, right? But you don’t need to: he’s going to escape. I promise! »

He's somewhat grateful to the woman he murdered last year while she was munching in front of her TV, watching the movie. Once her bloody corpse stopped twitching, Blitzø snatched up her VCR and half her movie collection, which now allows him to watch them over and over again. He really likes the one with the monsters’ fear business (which he should show the twins afterwards, come to think of it), but this one is his absolute favorite. Humans are weak and ugly, but they can make some pretty cool things from time to time...

« Tah! » exclaims Pepper, giggling.

Blitzø's heart skips a beat. It's been ten days since the twins started talking (or tried to, anyway) and he still finds it amazing to hear. He reacted too late to record their first words (and a few of those that followed, to be honest), but he has a large amount of video of the most recent ones on his phone, which he shared with Loony, M&M, Fizz, Mrs. K, and even the support group chat Lavender suggested setting up in case of emergency.

(Which it was, no matter what Moxxie said. And the girls all agree with Blitzø, thank you very much.)

« Di! » declares Lobster, before putting the heart-shaped tip of his tail in his mouth.

He’s so cute that Blitzø takes a photo and is about to post it on the group chat when his phone suddenly rings. Since nobody ever calls him this late at night (except Loony when she needs him to pick her up, but she’s currently having some kind of sleepover with Octavia and Vanny), Blitzø is a little surprised. He's even more so when he reads Kiki's name on the screen.

« Kiki? » he says after pressing the ‘take call’ button. « Is everything all right? »

Dread grips his stomach when only a strangled sob answers.

« Is… Is it the baby? Has something happened? »

He hears another sob, before the succubus finally answers, in a trembling voice:

« Yes... No... Bean's fine. I'm... I'm not... I'm sorry, Blitzø. I didn't know who else to call… »

Bean is the nickname Kiki gave her unborn baby after her first ultrasound. Well... Blitzø did. When the succubus asked him to accompany her, she seemed so scared that he simply didn't have the heart to say no. So he was the second person to see the little thing on a screen. It’s not his fault if a three-and-a-half-months-old imp-hybrid fetus looks a lot like a Wrathian howler bean.

Blitzø is 100% sure Kiki would have been better off calling someone else (literally anyone, in fact), but even he knows that's not the sort of thing you're supposed to say to a person in distress. So instead, he asks:

« Do you want to meet to talk about it? »

« Tah! » approves Pepper, jiggling her tiny legs.

« I… I... yes », Kiki murmurs, sounding both defeated and relieved.

Which makes no sense to Blitzø.

« Is there anywhere you'd prefer us to go? »

« Can we... can we meet at the coffee shop near your office? You know, the one where we met that day. I don't know if you remember. I was with Ace and Jo… »

Kiki's voice breaks at the last words and she begins to cry in earnest. If either of Verosika's incu-bitches has hurt her, Blitzø is going to shoot the asshole in the groin. He's fairly sure that's the worst thing that can happen to an incubus. Especially these two.

(Or the one who seduced a certain pretty bird, but he's not going to think about it now. Or ever.)

« Of course. See you in half an hour », he says before hanging up. « So... guys... we're going to have to pause the movie. I know, I know. I'm disappointed too. But Kiki needs us. You know Kiki. She's the tall one, with the gray-blue hair who cuddles you both for at least half an hour when we have our meetings. »

So far, there have only been the three, even if some of the girls would like them to take place every week, instead of twice a month. Blitzø isn't entirely sure he has the time for this on top of everything else, which is why they're still discussing it.

Nevertheless, Kiki loves cuddling Lobster and Pepper. To be fair, all the girls do, Octavia included. But Kiki is the most enthusiastic. Even more so than Magda, which is saying a lot. Blitzø thinks it's because Bean is half imp and half incubus, just like the twins.

« You guys are going to have to be extra cuddly today, because Kiki really needs it. Can I count on you? »

« Tah! » says Pepper, wrapping her tail around his left hand.

« Di! » simultaneously replies her brother, doing the same with his other one.

« You're the best. But both of you clinging to me like miniature leeches won’t be practical to get out of here! » Blitzø comments with a shrug.

Fifteen minutes later, the twins are fed and clean, Blitzø has packed his emergency bag just in case, and he gently taps the Asmodean crystal to summon a portal right outside the coffee shop.

Since Kiki hasn't arrived yet, he heads straight for the counter.

« Good evening! » says the barista with a surprisingly cheerful smile, given the late hour. « What can I do for... hey, I remember you! »

Blitzø blinks in surprise.

« You do? »

« Yeah, you're that guy who so embarrassed that jackass incubus that he ran off with his tail between his legs. He hasn't been back since, and we don't miss him », comments the barista with a chuckle.

It sounds vaguely familiar to Blitzø, although so much has happened since then that it feels like it was years ago, not just a few weeks.

« Anyway, what can I get you? »

« An iced coffee with a double shot of syrup. And your biggest hot chocolate, please. Plus two... make that four brownies. With fudge on top. »

It turns out that Kiki has begun to have cravings, just like Lavender (and Vanny, who has developed an all-consuming passion for cheese puffs and can inhale an astronomical amount of them in record time.)

Kiki craves chocolate. In any shape or form. Easy to get, especially in a coffee shop.

« With or without whipped cream? »

« With », answers Blitzø after a moment's thought.

« Takeaway or eat-in? »

« Er... in. Thank you. »

The barista nods, grabbing two cups, one large, the other extra-large and scribbles on it with a black pen. As there are only two other customers in the coffee shop, he doesn't bother to ask Blitzø’s name.

« Take a seat. I'll bring you everything as soon as it's ready », he says once Blitzø has paid.

So Blitzø finds himself a nice spot in the corner, comfortable and with plenty of legroom for Kiki. As the succubus is running late, he enjoys his iced coffee while explaining to the twins his ideas for the sequel to his favorite movie. He borrowed the barista's backup pen and started drawing the horses on a napkin to show them.

« Hi... sorry I'm late. »

Even as he was waiting for her, Kiki's voice startles him. Looking up, Blitzø sees the traces of her crying on her pretty face. Her red, puffy eyes and sad face make his heart painfully squeeze, which he tries to mask by grimacing a smile and pushing the hot chocolate towards her.

« It's gone a little cold, but we can ask the barista to reheat it, if it's not to your liking. »

Instead of answering, Kiki's face breaks down and she starts sobbing.

« Hey… »

Blitzø feels sorry for her. He really does. Besides, all this sadness is bound to be bad for Bean. But Blitzø isn't the comforting type. In fact, he's just the opposite: rude, brutish and crude. Luckily, he's brought reinforcements.

He gently pushes Kiki on the other bench and puts Pepper in her arms.

The baby stares at the succubus in silence, blinking her round silver eye. And then, she opens her mouth and starts to babble. There's a lot of «Tah!» which is her name for just about everything, including her favorite uncle, as well as her way of showing approval, but there are other words too. Blitzø can almost see his little girl trying to comfort the big one.

(It's certainly not his influence, that's for sure. Blitzø thinks it comes from Millie and Mrs. K. Those two are the kind, comforting type. Too bad they're not here. Kiki could certainly use their help right now.)

At least Pepper's chatter managed to stop the crying. Most of it. Which is better than nothing.

Blitzø pushes the hot chocolate towards the succubus once more. This time, Kiki places the baby in the crook of one arm with much more ease than when she first held her, and takes a few sips of the frothy beverage.

« Thank you », she says, with a shaky but sincere little smile. « I needed that. »

Silently, he points at the plate containing the fudge brownies. Kiki's eyes widen and, unfortunately, a new wave of tears wells up. Blitzø swears through his teeth.

« Don't cry », he orders, before realizing he's not helping at all. « Fuck. I'm sorry. Don't cry. Please. Just eat. And listen to Pepper. »

The baby has not stopped chattering, despite the fact that the two adults have momentarily stopped paying attention to her. As for her brother, he stares at his uncle in silence. Blitzø swears he can see disappointment in the big silver eyes. Clearly, his nephew wants him to be more helpful.

Which he would gladly do. If only he knew how.

« Please tell me what I can do », he murmurs, and it sounds a lot more desperate than he would have liked.

« There's nothing to do », Kiki replies with a shrug. « I… Ace… »

Her eyes fill with tears again and he places a hand on hers, squeezing tentatively. She gives him a grateful smile and kisses the tip of Pepper's nose, who giggles and grabs a handful of hair, pulling at it almost painfully until Blitzø steps in to free the succubus. Kiki takes a deep breath and continues:

« Ace told me that I'd let myself go. That I'd become a fat bitch », she explains, with a shaky little sigh.

« That fucking asshole! » Blitzø growls. « I’m going to murder him. »

This surprises a small laugh from Kiki.

« Please don't. He's not worth the trouble you'd get into. Besides, he wasn't entirely wrong. I'm supposed to stay in shape. It's in my contract. »

« First of all, you're not fat. Look at this guy, he is », says Blitzø, pointing to the teenage imp with headphones over his ears, shaking his shoulders to music only he can hear, while eating a pile of pancakes as big as his head. « And secondly, you're pregnant. If you want Bean to stay healthy, you have to eat. That's the whole point. »

Her face breaks down.

« Fuck. I'm sorry, Kiki. This is why you should have called someone else. Anybody else. Or... maybe you tried calling the others and they weren't free? » he suggests, as the thought occurs to him.

Of course, that's what she did. No sane person would call Blitzø, of all people, in the first place if there was someone else available. He’s such a moron.

This at least stops her tears in their tracks. The look she gives him is both puzzled and shy.

« No, I didn't. I... after you accompanied me to the ultrasound, I felt that we... I... I know we're not friends, or anything, but... I would like us to be », she concludes, with a slight blush.

Blitzø is so shocked that he literally feels his jaw drop. Which, of course, Kiki misinterprets.

« Or not. I don't want to force you, whatever. I've already asked too much of you. »

« It's not… » Blitzø, then pauses as he realizes he hasn't the faintest idea how to phrase his thoughts.

The fact is, he can't even say he doesn't have any female friends, since he considers Millie to be one. She might even be his best friend, although he should never admit that to Fizz, as it would hurt his feelings. And Mrs. K is also a kind of friend. And a grandma of sorts, which he never had, but that's not the point.

Maybe this is the first time he's had a friend he's never tried to sleep with. Never even had the impulse.

And who asks for his friendship, as if it were something precious.

He isn’t sure at all he’s worthy.

« Sure, we can be friends. After all, I'm the perfect uncle for a half-imp, half-incubus hybrid », he replies with a toothy grin.

Kiki snorts.

Finally, he suggests she spends the night in his apartment, since she lives with Josh and Ace-hole, the incubus fuckers, and doesn't feel like facing them tonight. And since Loony would flip out if he offered Kiki her bed, he insists that she stay in his.

So once again he finds himself sleeping on the couch, with his old pink horse blanket.

At least this time, it's comfy.

Notes:

Will all those kids end up with food nicknames???
(With Blitzø as their unofficial uncle, there's a distinct possibility

I have a confession to make: I have a soft spot for coffee shops AU. I've read just about every such story in the fandom.
I don't think I could pull off mine, so that scene in the middle of the chapter was just a little self indulgent. You'll have to forgive me.

A small note, too: for human babies, even 6 months is a bit too young an age to start making attempts at language. But I've decided that implings develop quicker… or maybe it’s just Blitzø’s nephew and niece. He thinks so, anyway… 🤭

Chapter 24: The sleepover

Summary:

Blitzø finds himself in the middle of an improvised sleepover…

Notes:

I'd like to address a topic that I've been having more and more trouble with lately.

I know that this fandom (and the Stolitz ship in particular) is very polarized, and that most people have strong opinions about them, but please try to remember that you're not on reddit. This isn't a debate forum. It's a place where people post fanfictions they've taken a lot of time (and often sweat and tears) to write and are sharing just for the enjoyment of others.

So before you post a comment to any fiction, try to THINK

Ask yourself if your comment is true, helpful, inspiring, necessary, and above all, kind.

It’s perfectly okay to have divergent opinions from the author, and you’re always welcome to share your thoughts and opinions here, but please be kind about it. Remember that there's a person on the other side, who worked hard on this, and that your words might actually hurt him or her...

As for me, I've been trying to respond to every single comment I've received. But I'm tired, mentally and physically. So from now on, if you're only here to point out what you consider to be the flaws in the story, or to share your opinions about the show, please know that I won't answer your comment anymore.
My time matters too.

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Blitzø couldn’t explain how he finds himself sitting on his living room floor at 7:30 p.m., in his pajama shorts and t-shirt, his skin freshly moisturized, Kiki doing his eye make-up and Lavender painting his nails with a glossy purple polish, so dark it's almost black, while Magda, Vanny and the twins look on in fascination.

Well, he could. But he doesn't want to. He feels more and more that the situation has gotten out of hand. And it's not that he doesn't like it. Being pampered while snacking is pretty nice, to be honest. But part of him is still waiting for the other shoe to drop.

It all started when Kiki spent the night in his bedroom (and him on the couch) after their late-night coffee meeting almost two weeks ago. The next morning, she asked him if he knew of a cheap place to rent for a month or two, time for her to clear her head and decide what she was going to do with her life.

As it happens, she didn't react too well when Ace-hole told her she looked fat. From what she told Blitzø, she slapped the tall incubus and shouted:

« I’m not fat, I'm pregnant, you motherfucker! »

after which she fled the building before the others could react.

She hasn't been in contact with any of them since, but Blitzø saw on her phone that all of them (including Ace-hole) tried to call her several times before she blocked their numbers. So she spent a few more nights in Blizø’s bedroom, until he discussed her situation with Mrs. K, who offered Kiki her guest room and meals in exchange for a few chores around the building, provided they weren't too taxing on her health.

Blitzø knows all about avoidance techniques. He was almost a professional at it. But he's worked on himself, striving to improve, and he knows it's not a healthy way to live.

He'll have to talk to Kiki about it, sooner or later.

He just has to find a way to broach the subject.

« All done, sugar », declares Lavender.

« Don't use your hands for the next half hour, or you’ll mess it all up. »

« What if I'm hungry? » Blitzø replies, wrinkling his nose.

« I’ll feed you », Vanny offers with a smile.

« What if I have to pee? » he retorts with a shit-eating grin.

A heavy silence falls over the group and if he hadn't just been told not to use his hands, Blitzø would be clenching them into fists and pressing them to his eyes. Him and his big fucking mouth!

Then Kiki snorts and Lavender smirks at him:

« Oh, I can definitely help you with that », she says, in a too-soft voice.

« I’d rather not », he retorts with a haughty air that makes him look like Moxxie, just as does the blush he feels blooming on his cheeks.

Lavender laughs good-naturedly at his reaction.

« And... it's finished! » declares Kiki, with a proud smile. « Does anyone else want their eyes done? »

« I… I've always wanted to try smoky makeup », murmurs Vanny, with an almost embarrassed expression, « but Mrs. Peony said it wasn't appropriate for a maid… »

« Well, you're not a maid anymore, so knock yourself out, kid », says Blitzø as he stands up, hands outstretched in front of him.

Lavender has done a remarkable job. He can't even remember the last time he wore nail polish, it's been so long, but he's pretty sure his hands have never looked better in his life. Loony is going to be very disappointed to have missed the opportunity to get her own nails done. She went shopping with Gil for ‘cool maternity clothes’, whatever that means. He's the one who suggested his daughter spend more time with the pregnant teen. Gil has a half-surly, half-reserved attitude that reminds him strongly of Loony when she first came into his life. Moxxie would probably disagree, but Blitzø feels his daughter has improved a lot since then and he's very proud of her. He's convinced that if anyone can break through the barriers set up by the pregnant girl, it's her.

He sits on the sofa next to Magda, while Vanny settles on the floor in front of Kiki. Lavender takes Pepper from the female imp's arms, although the baby struggles to reach her uncle. The moment Blitzø starts stroking her hair and horns with the tip of his tail, Pepper calms down with a low, satisfied purr.

« So... how about a game of Truth or Dare? » Magda suggests, a small smile playing on her lips.

« Absolutely not! » grumbles Blitzø.

He wants to keep what little dignity he has left.

« Oh please, Blitzø, I've never played it! And I've always wanted to! »

Vanny's big, pleading eyes are a lot more effective than Fizz's. Blitzø feels his determination melting like an ice-cream cone in Wrath.

(Plus, the game might give him the opportunity to address the subject of Kiki's (former?) colleagues and friends...)

« Fine », he grunts. « But try to keep it low-key, all right? I'm not as young as I used to be… »

« Please », retorts Kiki, rolling her eyes. « You're a stud and you know it! »

For the second time that evening, he feels himself blushing.

« Shut up », he says.

He's about to cross his arms, but Lavender snatches his wrist at the last second and stares pointedly at his freshly painted nails.

« So, who wants to go first? » says Magda.

« Why not Vanny, since it's her first time? » Kiki replies, with a gentle smile at the girl in question.

It's Blitzø's first time too, even if he has no intention of admitting it. It's not as if he's ever been to a sleepover before. Unless you count the evenings spent with Fizz and Barbie, when they were kids. They'd loot the popcorn stand and steal Cash's booze, set up a sort of tent with their blankets and a few chairs and imagine stories about what they'd be like as adults.

It's almost ridiculous how far from reality they were...

« Okay... What should I do? »

« Normally, we'd spin a bottle and ask the person it points to whether they'd prefer a truth or a dare, but we need to be in a circle to do that correctly. What if we simply choose someone, ask them, and they in turn pick another person, and so on? » Lavender suggests.

« Good idea! Magda! Truth or dare? »

« I’m a daring girl! » retorts the succubus with a big smile.

« I dare you to... um... have each of your nails painted a different color! »

« Oh, I like that one! But... wait... who's going to hold the babies? Because there’s no way I’m painting my own nails, I need Lav to do it for me! »

« I’m almost done with Vanny’s eyes », declares Kiki. « I can hold them both! »

A few minutes later, Kiki is wedged between Blitzø and Magda, who has bold neon colors on each of her nails, with Pepper and Lobster half-asleep in her arms.

« So… Lav, truth or dare? »

The Slothian demon hesitates for a few seconds, then shrugs.

« Let's go for a dare! »

Magda's smile turns a little vicious.

« I dare you to... text Jesse and invite him for coffee tomorrow afternoon, just the two of you, since you both have a day off! »

« You bitch! » Lavender spits, glaring at her friend, who blows her a kiss.

« You know I'm doing this for your own good, darling! »

« Wait... who's Jesse? » Kiki asks, with a confused frown.

« The sexy bouncer at Ozzie’s », replies Blitzø, barely managing to keep a straight face.

« The one with muscles on top of muscles? »

« Yup… »

This time, Blitzø can't hold back his smile. So it's Lavender that the hunky bouncer is into. Much better than if it were Vanny or Gil. What's more, she's obviously interested too, otherwise she wouldn't react so vehemently.

« Nice! He's gorgeous! » approves Kiki, who high-fives Magda.

« And he's an absolute sweetheart, totally into her », confides the plump succubus.

« Not to mention the fact that he's over ten years younger than me », adds Lavender, narrowing her eyes and gritting her teeth. « And then there's also my being pregnant with another man's child. »

« And yet, he's asked you out at least half a dozen times since he learned of your pregnancy. Just like he used to before, for that matter… »

« So... send the text! » Vanny exclaims, clapping her hands in delight.

Lavender rolls her eyes, but complies and shows them the text.

Out of peer pressure and a game of truth or dare, would you like to have a drink with me tomorrow afternoon?

« Spoilsport », grumbles Magda.

Lavender gives her a smug smile and takes a sip of her soda. She nearly spits it out when her phone chimes a few seconds later.

« Oh, has he answered yet? » Vanny asks, her eyes sparkling with anticipation.

In fact, all eyes in the room, except those of the twins who have finally fallen asleep, are fixed on Lavender's phone. The Slothian demon picks it up with a trembling hand and stares at the screen.

She can't help the smile that lights up her whole face. She shows them the answer.

I should be a gentleman and refuse, but I'm not that strong. My thanks to the peers and the dare. I'm free tomorrow at 4pm. Would you wear your neon pink top? It goes so well with your eyes...

« Oh, it's so cute! » exclaims Vanny.

« I hope you get some », says Magda, waggling her eyebrows suggestively.

Blitzø doesn't comment, but privately agrees with both of them. Who'd have thought the bouncer had such game? Not him, that's for sure...

« Yeah, that's not gonna happen », Lavender grunts. « I feel as sexy as a beached whale on the shores of Greed. »

« I understand you, sister », Kiki sighs. « And yet, I miss sex so much… »

« Me too », Blitzø hears himself say, before his brain has had time to connect with his mouth.

« Blitzø! » exclaims Lavender, turning toward him. « Truth or dare? »

He doesn't trust her smile in the slightest. With any luck, she'll ask him about his sex life. And they'd never leave him alone if they knew he hasn't had one in months.

« Dare », he says through clenched teeth.

« I dare you... to be the Hellfather of my baby! » Lavender says, crossing her arms.

Blitzø can only stare at her, mouth agape.

This is the last thing he would have expected. A Hellfather is a very important person in a child's life. It's not the kind of honor you bestow on just anyone.

Especially not some random imp you’ve only met a couple of times.

Sure, they've all grown closer, with the support group meetings and their long discussions on the chat. But still.

« No! » exclaims Kiki, suddenly stressed. « I was going to ask him!!! »

Wait… what?

« Uh... g-g-guys? » stammers Vanny, in a very anxious tone.

« Were you going to ask him too, sugar? » says Lavender with a gentle smile. « I’m sure we can work something out… »

« No... it's not that... I think there's something wrong with Sunny… »

She points to the bottom of her nightgown.

Where there's blood. Way too much blood.

Notes:

I KNOW.
And I'm so so so sorry. But an imp pregnant with a half-Goetia baby? It couldn't have gone smoothly...
But I won't leave you like this.
First of all, I promised that all babies would be healthy and happy. So nothing bad will happen to little Sunny.
Secondly, I'm already working on the next chapter. It'll be here in 24 hours, 48 at the most.

So don't hate me, okay?

Chapter 25: The hospital

Summary:

Being a sick imp in Sloth isn’t a good thing…

Notes:

Thank you so much for all your kind messages and your reactions to that chapter. It really means a lot to me. 🩷
As promised, here is the immediate follow-up to the last chapter...

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Blitzø doesn't waste time thinking. He lifts Vanny in his arms (she's so light, it's almost eerie, especially given the size of her belly), summons a portal to St An, Sloth's main hospital and says:

« Go! »

In retrospect, he probably should have warned the others of what he was about to do, for they freeze in place and the portal closes before any of them have crossed it. So he opens a second one and beckons them through. This time, they don't hesitate, and they all soon find themselves in the great hall of St An's Hospital.

Luckily (so to speak), Blitzø came here often enough when he was looking after Barbie to know his way around, and he heads resolutely for the nearest reception area.

« We need to see a doctor right away! » he says urgently to the Slothian nurse on duty. « My friend is pregnant and bleeding. »

The reception nurse doesn't even bat an eyelid. She briefly looks at Vanny, still in Blitzø's arms, and shrugs.

« I’m going to need you to fill out these forms », she says, handing him a thick stack of papers. « Then you'll have to wait until a doctor is available to see her. »

« But this is an emergency! » Kiki intervenes, frantic. « Look, this is no ordinary pregnancy. There are special circumstances, and complications… »

She's still holding the twins in her arms, and both their little faces are scrunched up in confusion. Whether this is due to her obvious stress or the unfamiliar environment remains to be seen.

« I can't do anything until all the paperwork is completed », replies the reception nurse in a monotone voice. « Not all of our doctors will agree to see her, and those who do will first insist that the necessary paperwork be completed, to ensure that this is indeed an emergency. »

« Excuse me, can't you see she's fucking bleeding! » growls Blitzø, his eyes narrowing to slits. « What more do you need? »

Vanny remains silent and doesn't make a sound, but he feels her trembling in his arms and a small tear escapes her eye, rolling down her cheek.

He wants to howl. Or jump at the nurse's throat. The only thing stopping him is that he'll almost certainly be kicked out, which would make Vanny's chances of getting proper care even more dire.

« What do you mean, not every doctor will want to see her? » Lavender asks, frowning.

« Bitch means most of their doctors won't bother to see an imp », Blitzø explains through gritted teeth.

« Surely that's not the…? » Magda begins, but the nurse lowers her eyes, with an almost embarrassed expression. « Seriously? »

« I don't make the rules », says the nurse in an almost apologetic tone. « You'd have a better chance at the imp hospital down the street. »

« Wait... they have a hospital just for imps? » exclaims Kiki, puzzled.

« Oh, yes, they do. And believe me, the treatments given to those imps are more than subpar. Vanny will be taken there over my dead body! »

« Sugar... if I remember correctly, you told us that you had your own doctor, specializing in... your unique type of pregnancy », Lavender asks the female imp, her gaze flickering briefly to the nurse at the reception. « Perhaps we can contact him? »

« I’m sorry, I... I don't have the number... Via is the one handling all that », replies the pretty imp, looking contrite.

« Via! Of course! » Blitzø exclaims. « You've got her private phone number, right? »

« I… uh... sure, I do… but... but... I'm not sure it's a good idea to call her now, Blitzø. She's... she's spending a few days at her father’s », Vanny explains with a grimace.

All the girls look at Blitzø with obvious compassion and he feels his cheeks burning. Of course, they all know what this means to him. But he's not so selfish as to put Vanny and her little Sunny-side-up in danger just because he's afraid of seeing the man he still lo… him.

« Who cares? », he retorts, a little more curtly than intended. « Give me your phone. »

At the same time, he heads for the waiting room, where he gently places Vanny on a chair. She immediately gives him her phone, without even offering to call Via herself. Truth be told, her hands are shaking so much that she nearly drops her phone twice. The poor girl is in no condition to do anything. The fact that the asshole nurse didn't even try to help her, despite her obvious distress, makes Blitzø all the more furious.

But that's Hell for you: imps are at the very bottom of the food chain. There are pets better treated than them. In fact, they might have fared better if they'd tried their luck at the vet's...

Blitzø finds Via's number in the phone and immediately presses the call button. He lets it ring at least ten times, without the kid answering. He tries again, with the same result.

« Fuck! » he groans, clenching his fists.

The urge to throw the phone on the floor or wall like a toddler is strong, but he manages not to give in.

Barely.

« So… What do we do now? » asks Kiki, chewing her bottom lip.

All the girls are looking at Blitzø. Apparently, he's the one in charge. Too bad he doesn't feel up to the task.

But Vanny and Sunny-side-up need him, so he's going to man up!

« Okay… Lavender, Magda, try to fill out these papers with Vanny. If this is our only shot at getting her checked out tonight, we've got to take it. Kiki, keep an eye on the twins. I'll make some calls. Vanny... is there anything you'd like or would feel more comfortable with? »

« I… can I have a glass of water? » she says, looking up at him with big, frightened eyes.

It's such a basic request and yet she seems so hesitant that he feels like punching a wall. Instead, he forces himself to smile and says:

« Of course. »

On his way to the water fountain, he calls M&M and asks them to prepare blankets, food and drinks. Who knows how long they'll wait in this fucking hospital for a doctor deigning to look at Vanny?

Finally, he contacts Loony and asks her to keep calling Via. If the kid is anything like his daughter, she won't be far from her phone. And since the two of them are close, she could answer, even if she's with Sto... her father.

Satan, please make her answer!

When he brings Vanny back a cup of water, she gives him a grateful smile and drinks the whole thing in three gulps. As she seems to be feeling a little better (and he needs to do something, otherwise he'll go insane), Blitzø goes to fetch her another one.

He suddenly has an epiphany and calls Fizz, in case his friend is near his phone. Asmodeus is the King of Lust, after all, and making babies falls into his area of expertise.

(Blitzø is well aware that this is far-fetched, but he's desperate enough to try anything).

Unfortunately, Fizz doesn't respond. Unlike Via, Blitzø leaves his friend a message asking him to call him back as soon as possible.

« I’m really sorry to bother you with this, Fizzies, but it's an emergency. I need to ask Asmodeus something. Please… »

That's when his phone suddenly rings. At first he's surprised, because not only is he still using it, but he doesn't recognize the ringtone.Then he realizes it's Vanny's phone, deep green with a little zombie bunny charm attached.

When he sees Via's name, his heart races. He hurriedly presses the ‘get call’ button.

« Vanny? I'm sorry I didn't answer sooner, but I couldn't get a signal. My dad took me to this old human library to find some weird old books about courting. I have no idea what he… »

« Via, this is Blitzø », he says.

« Uh? What the hell are you doing with Vanny's phone? Where is she? »

Via's tone is mostly annoyed, but he can hear an undercurrent of worry. Which, unfortunately, is justified.

« We're at the hospital. There are complications with the baby. They won't let us see a doctor, but maybe if you came they'd be a bit more understanding. A Goetic princess is bound to have more influence than a bunch of nobodies… » he replies, trying, but failing, not to let the bitterness show in his voice.

« What do you mean, the hospital? » she exclaims. « What happened to Vanny? Is it Sunny? »

« Yes... there's... there are complications. We're not sure how serious it is, because... well, because we can't get to a doctor, but she’s been bleeding. Please come, Via. »

He's not entirely sure the kid will have any more leverage than the others, because despite the fact that she's technically a princess, she's still... well, a kid, but he's willing to take his chances.

To be honest, he's willing to try just about anything.

« Wait a few seconds… »

He hears some sort of muffled exchange, then an extremely familiar voice asks him in a dry tone:

« Who's on the line? And why are you asking my daughter to come and see you so late in the evening? »

Blitzø runs a hand over his face and bites his tongue until it bleeds to keep from whimpering in distress.

He takes a deep breath and answers, in as neutral a voice as possible:

« Stolas... it's Blitzø. »

« Blitzy? »

The astonishment in Stolas' voice is palpable. And it makes perfect sense, even if Blitzø would honestly prefer not to deal with it.

(Or rather not having to interact with him altogether.)

« Yeah, it’s me. »

« But... but... why are you calling Via? »

« It's complicated, Stolas, and I don't have time to explain. It's an emergency », Blitzø replies, trying not to let his stress and growing frustration show in his tone.

He remembers all too well what happened the last time he lost his temper with Stolas.

He hears muffled words uttered by a female voice.

« Yes, that's what Via tells me. I just don't know who this Vanny is. »

« Wait... she didn't tell you about the baby? » can't help but ask Blitzø.

Of course, he immediately regrets this, as Stolas can't help but be taken aback by the question. And indeed, he shrieks in response:

« WHAT BABY? »

Blitzø doesn't know whether to laugh or cry.

« Vanny's baby. She's... a friend of your daughter’s », he adds, because time is pressing. « One of mine too. And she's in very bad shape. She needs to see a doctor, but the hospital won't let her. »

« Why? » replies Stolas, sounding genuinely surprised.

« Because she's an imp, Stolas », Blitzø replies patiently, his hands clenching and unclenching, and his tail flicking back and forth in response to his stress.

« I still don't understand why you need Via. »

Tears of frustration begin to well up in Blitzø's eyes. He knows that Stolas isn't being obtuse on purpose, that he simply wants to understand. But Blitzø can still see Vanny's terror and the blood on her nightgown.

« I… They won't see her, no matter what I say or do. I'm just an imp. But they'll listen to a Goetia. I'm sure they will. Please, Stolas. I'll do anything… » he stammers, his voice breaking.

He hates begging.

And he hates begging Stolas even more.

But he doesn't do it for himself. He's doing it for Vanny. To make sure she gives birth to a healthy little Sunny-side-up egg...

« Of course, Blitzy. Whatever you need », replies Stolas in a much softer voice.

Blitzø sniffs and wipes his eyes with the back of his hand. He feels drained.

A few seconds later, a purple portal appears in front of him and the two Goetia emerge.

Stolas' first glance at Blitzø makes him widen his eyes in surprise, and small white pupils appear in both lower eyes. It's then that Blitzø remembers that he's still in his pajamas, his nails painted and his eye make-up certainly ruined from crying and rubbing his eyes.

As for Stolas, he's perfectly regal, as usual.

But before Blitzø has time to apologize for his appearance, the Prince kneels down in front of him, puts a hand on his shoulder... where that fucking shirt has slipped to the side, meaning that fucking owl is touching his bare skin, for Satan's sake, and gently smiles at him.

« Everything's going to be fine, Blitzø. We'll make sure your friend gets the care she needs. I give you my word on that. »

Notes:

Now my duty is done, I can go to sleep.
I hope you'll like the chapter!

Chapter 26: The examination

Summary:

Even with a Goetia on their side, it's not easy...

Notes:

Thank you so much for your comments, kudos, and general enthusiasm. It makes me so happy 🩷

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

As soon as they reach the waiting room, Via runs to Vanny, who is still sitting in the chair where Blitzø has deposited her. Her skin is a lot paler than it should be and she looks exhausted. Stolas glances briefly at the young woman, then encompasses the rest of the group with a stunned look, no doubt because he realizes that, apart from his own daughter, everyone present is in nightwear. But he heads for the reception anyway, with Blitzø in tow.

« I’d like to see one of your doctors, please. It's for an emergency », he says in his posh, overly polite voice.

The nurse doesn't even bother to look up. She pushes vaguely in his direction a stack of papers identical to those she had asked the group to fill out earlier. Blitzø grunts in exasperation.

« Fill out these forms and someone will see you as soon as a doctor is available.. »

Stolas clearly hadn't expected to be dismissed so readily. His beak opens and his pretty face takes on a bewildered expression, but only for a few seconds. Then his gaze hardens and he rises to his full height.

« I think you've misunderstood me. I am Prince Stolas, of the Ars Goetia, and I demand to see a doctor at once! »

This, unsurprisingly, makes the nurse react. She immediately jumps up from her chair and lifts her head. She looks at Stolas with wide, almost frightened eyes. He hasn't taken on his eldritch form, yet he exudes an aura of intimidation and power.

Fuck, he's hot.

« I… I... of course, your highness. I'll call someone right away. »

« Actually », Blitzø interjects, not even trying to hide his shit-eating grin, « we need a baby doctor who specializes in eggs. »

Both Stolas and the nurse stare at him in utter incomprehension.

« What do you mean by that, dearest? »

« Vanny is… » begins Blitzø, but he stops right there, biting his lip as he hesitates over what to say to Stolas.

Not only is the poor guy obviously unaware that he's going to be a big brother (and a hospital reception desk doesn't seem like the best place to break the news to him), but the last thing Blitzø wants is for the nurse to go and repeat that little tidbit to prying ears.

« Well... uh... you see, the father of Vanny’s baby is... uh… he's a Goetia like you. »

Not exactly a lie, yet it leaves a bitter taste in Blitzø's mouth. For it will be such a shock for Stolas when he finally learns the truth. And who will be the one to tell him?

(Something tells Blitzø that the guy's name starts with a B and ends with a silent o.)

« Really? But she’s… »

Blitzø's eyes narrow. Tonight, Stolas really came to his rescue

(well, not his, obviously, he's not so delusional as to believe that his plea is the only reason Stolas came to the hospital, but the bird did take a huge thorn out of his side, so he's very grateful all the same).

and yet, if Stolas insults Vanny in any way, they're going to have a problem. A big one.

Especially if he says something along the lines of ‘an imp’.

« …so small and fragile », the bird concludes, with such genuine perplexity that Blitzø realizes that’s what he meant to say all along.

Which, in turn, makes him feel really shitty.

« I think so very highly of you. I didn't realize you think so low of me. »

These words uttered by Stolas during the fatal full moon rubbed Blitzø the wrong way when everything turned upside down, because he felt unfairly treated. Stolas didn't give Blitzø time to process their not-breakup before telling him about his feelings, nor to apologize for his brutal reaction before teleporting him out of his palace.

But if he's honest with himself, Blitzø never thought much of Stolas in the first place. Or rather, he didn't at the beginning. It was only later, when he got to know him outside their bedroom activities, that he realized Stolas wasn't just a spoiled, privileged and silly highborn. He's much more than that: kind, caring, funny and whip-smart. Plus he knows so many interesting things about the stars. Blitzø found himself missing the bird more and more between full moons, so he stopped visiting altogether.

Back then, running away was always his go-to solution when things got too serious.

« I’m sorry, Stolas », he blurts.

Stolas blinks, looking adorably confused, with his white pupils clearly visible.

« For what, darling? »

« For the way that I… never mind. »

There's a time and place for honest apologies, and it's neither now nor here.

« Anyway », says Blitzø after clearing his throat, « Vanny is stronger than she looks. But her body isn't exactly designed to carry one of your giant eggs... I don't mean yours personally, just... you know... Goetia? »

He's making a mess of everything. As usual.

« I understand, dearest », says Stolas with a chuckle, before bringing the power of his rank into full play while addressing the nurse. « Is there an obstetrician who assisted during the egg-laying of a Goetia in this hospital? »

It's a good thing Stolas isn't looking at him anymore, because Blitzø is almost certain to have turned dark red. He feels so... so flustered. Which almost never happens to him. But not only is Stolas sexy AF when he’s in charge, he keeps calling Blitzø cute little pet names. He probably doesn't do it on purpose. He might not even realize he’s doing it. It must be force of habit, nothing more.

Blitzø should in fact draw his attention to it or tell him to stop.

But he won’t.

Because he likes to be called ‘darling’. And even more ‘dearest’. It makes him feel special. Cared for.

Which is dangerous, because he and Stolas are nothing to each other. Not anymore, anyway.

They probably never were.

« Tah! Tah! »

« Sorry, hot stuff, but I think little Miss Pepper wants her daddy », Kiki comments with a fond smile, while depositing the energetically fidgeting baby in her uncle's arms.

« I’m not… » protests Blitzø, but he's interrupted by his phone ringing. « Yes? »

« B ? We've got everything you asked for. Can you open us a portal? We're in the office. »

With all this going on (and by ‘all this’, he means a certain beautiful bird with surprising natural authority), he pretty much forgot about M&M.

« Sure, Mills », he replies, before gently stroking his Asmodean crystal.

Seconds later, M&M and Loony emerge from the gate, their arms laden with blankets, food and drink. Gil follows close behind.

« I’m sorry, Dad, I tried to call Vi… » begins his daughter, when her gaze falls on the princess, who is holding Vanny's hand in hers and speaking in a hushed voice. « Oh, you managed to reach her then. »

« Oh fuck! Loony, I should have called you », Blitzø replies, a little ashamed. « but there have been so many things I've… »

« Tah! » insists Pepper, who grabs his shirt with surprising strength for such a tiny thing.

« Yes, baby girl, I know », he sighs. « It's a lot for all of us to digest. And you and your brother have been particularly good. I’m very proud of you both. But I'm going to need you to keep quiet a little longer... at least until this whole Vanny thing is settled, okay? »

« Tah! » replies Pepper, who snuggles up to him and starts purring softly.

Blitzø kisses her gently on the forehead and inhales her wonderful baby smell. This and the purring take a huge weight off his chest that he wasn't even aware he was carrying.

« Sorry Loony », he simply says, with an apologetic wince.

« It's okay, Dad », she replies, giving him a half-smile.

Everyone looks at them fondly, as if they were the cutest thing since the invention of hell piglets. Even the reception nurse seems to be softening a little.

Everyone but Stolas. He looks at Blitzø in shock, beak open, white pupils blown wide.

« Uh... is everything okay, Stolas? » asks Blitzø, a little worried about his reaction.

Surely he's seen hybrid babies before, right?

« I… uh... y... yes » replies the bird, grimacing a smile that states the exact opposite.

« What the fuck is he doing here? » hisses Loony, and there's a vicious undertone in her voice that Blitzø doesn't understand.

Well... he knows that neither she nor M&M (who also look at the Prince with narrowed eyes) were very happy with Stolas after the hate-fest at Verosika's, but her reaction still seems a bit over the top.

« Stolas was with Via when she called me back », he explains to his daughter with a pointed gaze. « He was kind enough to accompany her to make sure Vanny received the best possible care... Uh... you know Vanny, right? »

The question is directed at M&M, who have never attended any of the meetings.

« Of course, B. She was with Lavender and Magda when they came to the office to ask you to come back and run your support group for single moms », Millie reminds him with a gentle smile.

« Single parents, sugar », Lavender corrects with a patient smile. « Blitzø is a single dad. »

The bird suddenly lets out a strangled sound.

« Did you swallow wrong, Stolas? » asks Blitzø, with concern.

When Stolas shakes his head, despite his expression being one of shock, Blitzø shrugs and turns to the others.

« And I'm not a single dad, by the way. I'm a single uncle! Pepper and Lobster are my niece and nephew! »

« Puh-lease », says Magda, rolling her eyes. « You really have that whole grizzly dad vibe when it comes to the babies.... And not just those two… »

Blitzø doesn’t know what she means by that, exactly, but he's pretty sure it's not a compliment.

A door opens onto a tiny Slothian demon in a white coat who looks so ancient that Blitzø is almost surprised he can walk by himself.

« I’ve been called about a patient pregnant with a Goetia baby? » asks the little demon in a surprisingly deep voice.

« Yes! » exclaims Blitzø before anyone can react. « This is Vanny. We were having a sleepover, and suddenly she started bleeding. »

At least the doctor, unlike the nurse, doesn't dismiss the female imp right away. On the contrary, his eyes seem to light up with interest.

« Is it true? That's interesting », he says, in a pensive tone.

« I don't care if you find it interesting. What I want is for you to stop the bleeding and reassure her about her baby's condition! »

He hears the nurse gasp and Magda mutters something that sounds suspiciously like ‘grizzly dad’, but he's too focused on the doc's reaction to pay attention.

« I’ll have to run some tests, obviously. Nurse, fetch a wheelchair for this poor lady. Anyone care to accompany her? »

« I’ll go with her! » Via exclaims in a voice at once resolute and defiant.

Blitzø gives her an approving look. Vanny will feel less worried with her pregnancy companion beside her.

« Actually… » murmurs the young female imp with a shy smile. « I was wondering... Blitzø, would you mind coming along too? »

Blitzø is sure Via's puzzled expression mirrors his own. But he's not about to turn the kid away when she asks for his help.

« Sure, Vanny. I'll come if you like. Can I take Pepper with me? » he asks, pointing to the little girl still purring against his chest.

Her brother, fortunately, is fast asleep, and Blitzø trusts Kiki, Loony and Moxxie to calm him down should the baby wake up while he's with Vanny.

The doc laughs good-naturedly.

« The examination room is going to be crowded, but I don't see why not. Let's get this party started, then… »

Two hours later, Blitzø is bone-weary.

The doctor is still waiting for the results of some tests, so he suggested that Vanny spend a couple of days in hospital, to make sure everything's okay. At least he's sure the prognosis is not life-threatening (apparently, the egg is a little cracked and has partially flayed the placenta, an image Blitzø will have to live with from now on), and he's given her a potion that has stopped the bleeding.

Stolas left before Blitzø, Via and Vanny returned from the examination room, but he did procure the young mother-to-be a very spacious and luxurious room in the VIP area.

(Yet another thing Blitzø will have to repay him for, one way or another... though he doesn't really know how, as there was only one thing he could offer that Stolas was interested in, and the bird has made it clear that he doesn't want it anymore... besides, Blitzø isn't entirely sure he'd be able to pay with his body even if Stolas was willing, because of all those pesky feelings he now has for the bird…

Anyway, this will be a problem for Future-Blitzø to deal with.)

The girls all decided to spend the night in Vanny’s room for moral support, even Loony, despite her fear of hospitals.

(Blitzø suspects there will be copious amounts of booze involved, at one point or another.)

They invited Blitzø to stay with them, but he would have felt like he was imposing. Plus the twins were getting restless, so he has a valid excuse to decline.

He opens a portal to M&M’s apartment. Before leaving, Millie kisses him and praises him for his excellent handling of the situation, which makes him blush a little, and even Moxxie congratulates him. Then he sends a message to Fizz saying he'll explain everything later, as his friend has called him half a dozen times, and finally he opens a portal to his own apartment.

At this point, the only thing he wants to do is put the twins to bed and crawl into his. (Luckily, he's already in his pajamas.)

But he won't be so lucky. Because someone has been waiting for him.

« So, brother », Barbie says from the couch where she was reading something that looks suspiciously like the horse comics Blitzø draws in his rare moments of solitude, « it looks like you've been busy… »

Notes:

So... yeah. I guess no one will be surprised to learn that the next chapter will be called 'The sister'. I have a very busy day tomorrow, but I'll try my best to publish it for Saturday. If not... well, you'll have to wait a bit more.

In case you're wondering why Loony is so angry with Stolas, I refer you to the prequel to this story, 'The hard truth'. (Obviously Stolas has improved a lot since then, but she doesn't know that...)

Incidentally, I think Stolas would have come even if Blitzø hadn't insisted, at least for Via's sake, but it was hearing his beloved Blitzy so desperate that tipped the scales in his favor…

Chapter 27: The sister

Summary:

He always knew she would come back.
That doesn't mean he's ready for it.

Notes:

I saw several people mention that they hoped Stolas had heard the part about Blitzø being the twins' uncle.

On that subject, I'd like to say three things:
- First, of course he heard 🤭 Do you really think his attention was diverted from his Blitzy for a single second?
- Secondly, the fact that Blitzø is the twins' uncle and not their father doesn't really change his appeal or availability to Stolas. He could be a very single father or a very unavailable uncle, after all.
- Finally, despite everything he says, Blitzø is indeed the twins' father at this very moment. He's been there for them constantly for months, giving them his unconditional attention, love and care like a real father would.

Also, people, Barbie is resentful of her brother, it's true, but she's not a monster... Some of your theories have really got me concerned.
Let's find out why she's here, shall we?

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Blitzø isn't really surprised to see his sister in his apartment. After all, he's been waiting for her to come back for her kids since day one. But he's immediately seized with such intense dread that he convulsively tightens his grip on the twins, and Lobster whimpers.

« Shh, I’m sorry », Blitzø murmurs in a soothing voice, rubbing the baby nose with his own as he forces himself to loosen his grip.

He looks at Barbie out of the corner of his eye, but she doesn't say a word. She just stares at him in silence, her expression completely blank. In a way, Blitzø would prefer her to yell at him and treat him with hatred. At least he'd know where he stood. But she's so indecipherable to him right now, it's as if he doesn't know her at all. The idea that his twin, who used to be his other half, is now a complete stranger replaces the dread with such sadness that he feels like sobbing. But he doesn't want to upset the twins. It's already been a rough evening for them, and it's getting late…

« How long have you been here ? » he replies instead, keeping his tone neutral and casual.

« A few hours », Barbie says with a shrug. « Were you partying in town? »

The implication is clear. And Blitzø feels his temper flare.

« Party? Are you fucking kidding me? Do you know how much energy it takes to take care of two babies full-time? I barely have enough to work, so the mere idea of partying is ridiculous… »

He winces inwardly, thinking that not only does she know full well how much energy it takes, since the babies in question are hers, but upsetting her at this very moment might be a very bad idea. An angry Barbie is a mean Barbie, although she’s pretty much always angry anyway...

But instead of replying, she crosses her arms and looks at something behind him with a smirk.

« Oh yes, I can tell… »

Turning around, Blitzø suddenly remembers that with what's happened to Vanny, he's completely forgotten about the sleepover. He also realizes that Barbie’s nails are done, and he's pretty sure she did it herself, while waiting for him.

(She's chosen the same color he's wearing. They might not be entirely different, after all…)

« I was in the hospital because a friend was having pregnancy complications », he explains through clenched teeth.

« You have a pregnant friend? »

Barbie's disbelief is perceptible and, given his history, Blitzø can't really blame her. But it stings nonetheless.

« Just so you know, I've got more than one », he retorts dryly.

He puts Pepper in her baby-basket, which is turquoise, her favorite color, and contains a tiny unicorn plushie that she loves to put in her mouth and drool all over. And to no surprise, even when sound asleep, the baby grabs it and puts it in her mouth. Blitzø can't help but smile at the scene.

« Will you be there for them this time? » he asks, trying to keep his voice as neutral as possible.

The urge to tell Barbie she can't have the twins back is strong, but Blitzø fights it. She’s their mother, they are her flesh and blood. Blitzø is just their uncle. True, she abandoned them on his doorstep with no apparent remorse, but if he managed to become a halfway decent caregiver in just over two months, Barbie could become an extraordinary mother in half that time.
After all, everyone always said that of the two, she was the good one...

What he doesn't want, however, is for her to take away Pepper and Lobster just to abandon them again at the first difficulty. Admittedly, he doesn't know what happened in the first place, but unless his sister has changed radically in the last few months, it's more likely that she screwed up on her own.

« What do you mean? »

« Are you going to stay with Pepper and Lobster this time? Because I'd rather be clear with you: I won't let you take them back if you're not 100% sure you're staying. »

As he talks, he places Lobster in his own deep-pink baby-basket, right next to his sister’s, with his favorite plushie, an eldritch monster almost as big as him, that he loves to wrap himself around.

Blitzø gently strokes his soft cheek, before looking up at his own twin.

« Wait... you called my kids Pepper and Lobster? » Barbie asks in a strangled voice.

« Yeah, I did. And don't change the subject. Will you be there for them this time? »

His sister’s voice is carefully neutral when she replies:

« What makes you think I want them back? »

« Why else would you be here? » he retorts, making no attempt to hide his bitterness.

« To see them. To make sure they're okay. To apologize. »

This is so unexpected that Blitzø can only stare at her, mouth agape.

« Oh, don't look at me like that, Blitzo », she hisses, spitting out the o like an insult. « I may be a failure, but at least I try to do what's best for them. »

« You're fucking with me, right? Leaving them with me is 'what's best for them' according to you? When you hate my guts? It seems to me that you just dropped them off at the most convenient place, not knowing if they'd be okay... and now you come back, what, 9 weeks later, with no explanation as to why you left them in the first place? And you want me to believe that you care? » he hisses, frustration evident in his tone, although he's very careful not to raise his voice.

Unfortunately, Barbie doesn't have the same self-control.

« I DON’T!!! » she screams. « That’s the problem, you moron! »

Unsurprisingly, both twins open their eyes at the same time.

Even less surprisingly, the little noise factories immediately start their engines. And they are going strong as ever.

« Good job, Barbie », Blitzø groans, taking Lobster in the crook of one arm and Pepper in the other, to cradle them against him.

After two months with them, he could do this with one arm behind his back

(it certainly wouldn't be practical, as Blitzø would have to manipulate one of the twins with his tail, which would prove a bit tricky, but the point is that he could if he wanted to)

so the twins calm down in a few minutes and go back to sleep.

« And try to keep your voice down this time », he tells his sister in a warning tone.

Barbie doesn’t reply. She looks at him with wide eyes and a stunned expression.

« What now? Are you going to tell me you're surprised I managed to calm them down? » he growls, pursing his lips.

« It's not... Blitzo, you were purring. »

Purring?

Blitzø understands his sister's stupefaction better. He shares it a little. He can't really say when he last purred, but he's absolutely certain that his mother was still alive at the time. He wonders if it's the first time he’s purring to the twins, or if he's done it before without realizing it.

Suddenly, he wonders if Sunny-side-up will be able to purr, or if the Goetia in him will prevent it. Maybe he will do their weird cheek-rubbing instead. Or maybe he’ll do both?

He shrugs, as if purring were something usual for him, while inside, he freaks out a little.

« It's easier to calm babies… » he tells his sister.

After all, imps only purr for two reasons: when they feel completely happy and safe, or when they're trying to comfort others. It's not for nothing that it's the imp mothers who teach their babies to purr.

« Whatever », she replies, rolling her eyes for good measure.

« What do you mean ‘you don’t’? »

Barbie avoids his gaze, her cheeks visibly paling.

« I don't care. »

« About what? » asks Blitzø, puzzled.

« About them. »

Her answer makes no sense to him.

« Of course you care! They're your kids! And they're amazing! »

Barbie clenches her fists and gives him a look full of venom. Yes, that's more like it. Blitzø can't say he's happy to see her so angry with him (actually, it burns like the volcanoes of Wrath), but it's better than her indifference.

« No, I don't. I don't feel anything. I know I'm supposed to care or at least feel some kind of connection to them, but I don't. I just feel... empty. »

Tears well up in her eyes. Blitzø instinctively takes a step towards her, but Barbie bares her teeth and the hatred in her eyes cuts through him like a razor.

« I don't understand what you want from me, Barbie. Why did you leave the twins with me when you obviously hate me? »

« Because I knew you'd care. And there's no one else. I may not feel what I'm supposed to feel, but that doesn't mean I want anything bad to happen to them. And she looks a bit like Moma… »

Barbie's voice breaks on the last word and Blitzø has to make an effort not to reach for her. His comfort would not be welcome.

« What about their father? » he asks instead.

It's not that he wants the twins to go to anyone else (in fact, if Barbie doesn't want them, he's willing to fight to the death to keep them safe), but it should be at least useful to know.

His sister's mouth twists into a sneer.

« His name is Fox. Well, he says it's Foxtrot, but that sounds completely made up. He's a tall incubus, with silver eyes, silver hair and a silver tongue... though I'm pretty sure he’s at least partly from Envy. And compared to him, you're a model of reliability. »

Blitzø knows exactly what his sister thinks of him, so the twins' father must be a complete piece of shit. Just like his own.

« Okay... Now what? If you don't want them back and you don't want their father to have them? »

Her gaze falls on the baby-baskets and she takes a step towards them. And another. And another. Blitzø clenches his fists and forces himself to back away, although his distress is visible in the lashing of his tail. But Barbie doesn't seem to notice. She reaches out a hesitant hand and carefully strokes Pepper's cheek. The little girl's nose wrinkles, but she doesn't move.

« Are they... are they happy? »

Blitzø takes a deep breath.

« I believe they are. They're smiling a lot. They've started to talk. I can... I can show you some videos, if you like. »

A tear rolls down Barbie's cheek and Blitzø holds his breath, fists clenched at his sides. But his sister shakes her head and takes a step back.

« Keep taking care of them. If anything happens to my children, Blitzø, I'll skin you alive. »

To Blitzø, it's crystal clear that Barbie is not as indifferent as she pretends.

He also knows that, if he insists, she'll run away even faster. He's learned that lesson the hard way.

« I’ll do it », he says. « Not because I'm afraid of you or because I feel I owe you anything. But because I love them. »

He places a hand on each of the babies. Pepper's tiny hand reaches for his and Lobster's tail wraps around his wrist. Blitzø smiles, despite the tears in his eyes.

« Good », says his sister.

Ten seconds later, she summons a portal and disappears.

« I’m not going anywhere », he promises the twins.

And even if his face is covered in snot and tears, there's no one here to judge him.

Notes:

Post-partum depression happens a lot more often that you'd think, although Barbie's case is pretty severe.
I also believe her anger, her drug use and the PTSD of everything that happened at the circus didn't help.
Will she come back for the twins eventually? We'll just have to wait and see...

Also, I know I'm leaving you on a very sad note, but the next chapter should make you smile a little. Not only will we say an unexpected (yet long overdue) cameo, but the time has come to woo...

Chapter 28: The gift

Summary:

Blitzø receives an unexpected present…

Notes:

I’m happy to see most of you react positively to Barbie’s reason to let the twins at her bother’s. We’ll see how it plays out in the long term…

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

It's still early (at least from Blitzø's point of view) and he's just fed the twins, who are now playing with a bunch of soft, colorful balls that Uncle Fizz bought for them. They seem to like the gift, although the toys end up in their mouths more often than not. Blitzø is expecting Kiki any minute, as they decided to go for breakfast in northern Imp City before visiting Vanny in the hospital. They all take turns to make sure that she's never alone and today is theirs. But Loony takes longer than usual to shower. So when there's three knocks on the door, Blitzø is still in his pajamas.

This doesn't stop him from opening the door, as Kiki has already seen him in these less than two days before. What's more, he feels that once you've seen the inside of someone's womb, you're entitled to relax a little in front of them.

But when he opens the door, Kiki is nowhere in sight. Instead, Blitzø is faced with a giant basket wrapped in purple cellophane decorated with golden moons and stars, carried by an imp so small he can only see his hands and legs.

« You’ve got the wrong apartment, dude », he says to the invisible imp.

He’s about to close the door when a deep, polite voice asks:

« Mister Blitzø Buckzo? »

« Uh… Yeah. It's me. »

Blitzø is completely baffled. Who the fuck could be sending him a gift basket? He's certainly never received one before. The invisible imp hands him his burden and Blitzø takes it, more out of reflex than anything else.

« There's a note inside, sir. »

Blitzø still doesn't see the other imp, so he puts the basket down. The man is young, with long, thin, straight horns, elegantly dressed in black and white. There's even a cuff at the spade of his tail.

He could be handsome if he didn't look so tired.

(He's sort of cute, though, in a Moxxie kind of way.)

« Hey, I know you... you're Stolas' butler, right? »

« Yes, sir. »

« What are you doing here? »

« Um... As I told you, sir, there’s a note inside » replied the imp butler, looking a little uncomfortable. « It will explain everything. »

That's when Loony finally emerges from the bathroom and heads straight for them.

« Is that... a gift basket? » she says, sounding a bit suspicious.

« Yes... Stolas' butler... sorry, man, I don't think I've ever heard your name. »

« It's Pringles, sir. »

« Pringles here brought me the basket. »

Loony’s eyes narrow.

« Stolas sent my dad a gift basket and didn't deign to bring it in person? » she coldly asks.

Blitzø feels pretty stupid for not having made the connection on his own. Of course it's from Stolas. Why else would his butler bring him a basket?

It still doesn’t make any sense, though. So he turns to the butler for an explanation. Pringles purses his lips.

« Prince Stolas would have brought it himself, but he was called away on an emergency », he tells Loony defiantly. « He wanted to make sure it was delivered today, as there are perishables inside, so he asked me to… »

« Sorry I’m late, hot stuff, but the bab… »

Kiki, who has just appeared at the top of the stairs, suddenly looks so shocked that she falls silent. Her expression is half-amazed, half-horrified, and she instinctively puts a hand on her belly. Since she came out, so to speak, to her colleagues (with whom she still has no contact, but with everything going on with Vanny, they had other fish to fry), Kiki has started wearing clothes that reveal her little baby bump. Today, she's wearing a tubular robe in various shades of green that shows a little cleavage and a lot of leg. Since she's Blitzø's friend and, unfortunately, his heart's already set, he only thinks she's cute. The poor butler, however, looks at her as if she were a lollipop and he'd just given up sugar...

« Ki... Kiki? » he says hesitantly.

The succubus tucks a long lock of hair behind her ear and gives him an equally hesitant smile.

« Hello Pringles. It's been a while. »

« I… uh... I tried to call you a few times, but... I didn't want to harass you » says the butler, and Blitzø could swear the other imp wished harassment wasn’t frowned upon.

« I… I... wasn't ready to talk to you », Kiki explains, now blushing deeply.

She still has her hand on her belly, which Pringles doesn't seem to have noticed even though he's devouring her with his eyes. Kiki’s response makes him recoil, as if she'd just slapped him.

« I see. I thought we had... never mind », he says, almost sadly, before regaining his composure. « Mr. Buckzo, is there a message I should pass on to my employer? »

« Er... Thank you for the basket, I guess? »

The butler's face takes on a reproachful expression, but he nods.

« Very well, sir, I'll convey your thanks to the Prince. If it's all the same to you, I'll take my leave. Mr. Buckzo, Miss », he says, giving them a little bow, before turning to Kiki. « I hope you're well. It was nice to see you again. I wish you a good day. »

And with that, he leaves.

Kiki watches him go with such longing in her eyes that Blitzø feels sorry for her. Once the little imp has gone, he asks:

« Am I completely off my rocker, or does he not know he's Bean's father? »

« He doesn't even seem to know she's pregnant », Loony comments.

Kiki's eyes widen in surprise. Blitzø scoffs.

« Sweets, I may be a bit of an airhead when it comes to a certain bird, but I'm not stupid. I've seen the way you two look at each other. »

The tall succubus sighs.

« I… we... we had an amazing night. One. And then I tried to contact him, but he wasn't available », she says, tucking another lock of hair behind her ear.

« I thought he just said he tried to call you? » Loony remarks with a frown.

Kiki sighs.

« I know, but when he did, I'd just found out I was pregnant and was completely freaking out. Plus, I feared it was only a booty call… »

« Well, he's certainly looking at you like he wants to nibble all over you », Blitzø comments with a half-smile.

« Daaaaaaaaad! » exclaims Loony with a disgusted expression. « There are some things I really don’t wanna hear! Especially from you! »

With a low growl, she shuffles back inside the apartment. Blitzø watches her with a fond smile before turning to Kiki.

« That doesn't mean he wouldn't want more, you know. Besides, shouldn't he at least know? For Bean? He seems like a decent guy. »

Kiki sighs once more.

« He is. At least I think so. But what if he hates me for not telling him sooner? »

Blitzø thinks back to his meeting with his sister two days ago. The more time passes, the more he comes to realize that Barbie will never forgive him for everything that happened. And yet, she has entrusted him with her twins. So he asks:

« Does it really matter if he has a good relationship with Bean? »

Kiki's gaze becomes distant and she bites her lower lip.

« I suppose not... All right. I'll talk to him. Soon. I promise! » she says a little more firmly, in response to Blitzø's doubtful look.

« Speaking of talking to people, what about Verosika and her band of sk... your former colleagues? »

It's not that Blitzø likes these people. Just the opposite, in fact. The few encounters they've had haven't been very positive, to say the least. But the same can be said of Kiki, and they’ve become really good friends. And anyway, his opinion doesn't matter. Only Kiki's counts.

« You're annoying, you know that? » she says with a huff.

Blitzø thinks of Millie, who threatened him into therapy. Of Fizz bullying him into hosting the support group. And he gives her a toothy grin.

« I know, sweets, but real friends are there to keep you accountable. And to force your hand a little to do the things you really don't want to do, but need to… »

Kiki's gaze fixes on his and they challenge each other in silence for long seconds, before she rolls her eyes.

« All right! » she groans in exasperation.

Pulling her phone out of her purse, she opens it, taps and swipes a few times, then starts typing furiously, before showing it to Blitzø.

« There. Happy? »

The message is addressed to someone called Milky. Blitzø sees that this person sent a bunch of unanswered messages to Kiki before being blocked. ‘Bitch’ seems to be their favorite word, but it's just as obvious that they were genuinely concerned about Kiki's well-being. They even asked about Bean a few times.

At the bottom, Kiki has just replied:

I've been staying with a friend for a few days. I've found myself a temporary room while I figure out what I'm going to do with my life. The baby and I are fine. Tell Ver' I'm sorry I left her without notice, but I'm not coming back.

« That doesn't sound like someone who doesn't care », Blitzø says softly.

Kiki wipes her eyes.

« Milky and I started working for Ver' almost at the same time. The others had been on her team for a while, at this point, so we got close because we were the new girls who had to prove themselves. She was the only one I felt a real connection with. The others I liked well enough... enough to live with Ace and Josh, at least, though the fact that they were fucking in Ace’s room all the time was the main reason, since I had the apartment all to myself a lot, but Milky... I really considered her a friend. »

Blitzø places a hand on hers and squeezes gently, while patting her leg with the tip of his tail.

« She might still be, if you let her », he says.

Kiki takes a deep breath, wipes her eyes again and gives him a shaky smile.

« So... what's in that basket? »

« I’d like to know that too! » screams Loony from the living room of the apartment, where she's playing with the twins.

« No too! » exclaims Pepper in echo.

Although he smiles at the baby's imperious tone, Blitzø feels his heart beating a little too fast in his chest. This is ridiculous. He slowly unwraps the cellophane and he and Kiki glance inside the basket.

« Damn », comments the succubus. « He's good. »

« What's in there? » screams Loony.

« Inerr! » Pepper parrots.

Lobster just looks at his sister and cousin with curious eyes.

« Let's see... there are plushies and blankets for the twins... by Asmodeus, they're so soft... and also... the cutest onesies. And then... this must be for your dad, hot sauce, fancy cheese, paper and charcoal... and a gigantic red horse plush », inventories Kiki.

« Fuck! The asshole's good! » confirms Loony, visibly disgusted.

« Tah? » asks Pepper, puckering her little face.

Her brother pats his cousin's thigh with his tail, in a manner reminiscent of his uncle's.

Blitzø is too stunned to say anything.

It's not the price of gifts, though he's pretty sure they're expensive AF. Even the bottles of pepper sauce (plural, there are two of them) look fancy. They're glass, not plastic, and the label is written in flowery cursive that's going to be a nightmare to decipher.

No, what shocks him most is how well designed and thoughtful this basket is. One of the plush, blanket and onesie sets is a deep pink, the other turquoise. Did Stolas noticed the colors the twins were wearing at the hospital, or did he ask Via? Either way, it shows great attention to detail.

« I think this is for you, hot stuff », says Kiki, holding out a shiny purple envelope with his name written in golden, elegant calligraphy.

« Can you... can you read it for me? » asks Blitzø.

He’s been more and more open about his reading difficulties. At least with the people he considers his friends. And they haven't even laughed at him. On the contrary, they're always ready to help.

Kiki is quick to open the envelope with a nail. She gives him another hesitant look.

« Are you sure you want me to read it? It could be personal stuff… »

Blitzø shrugs.

« I’d say you and I are past that stage. But if it's a thirsty letter, maybe don't read it out loud? »

Kiki nods and begins to read silently. Her eyes widen and a small smile forms on her lips. She clears her throat and begins to read aloud:

« Dear Blitzø, I apologize for leaving the hospital without bidding you a proper farewell, but I didn't want to impose on your friends any more time than necessary. I understand you've been looking after your niece and nephew recently, and I thought it would be a good idea to offer them some nice presents. I hope they will be to their taste and yours. As I didn't want you to feel left out, I've also bought you something to eat, paper and pencils to draw with, and your own plush toy, so you won't be tempted to steal the children's. I wish you all the best and hope we meet again one day on better terms. Sincerely yours, Stolas. »

Once again, Blitzø is speechless. Unlike his daughter, who snarls:

« I hate that fucking bird! » although her tone has lost its bite.

Blitzø is freaking out a bit.

The fact is, he’s almost 100% positive this isn't the kind of gift you send to someone you fuck contractually… or have fucked... or want to fuck again in the nearest future.

It's almost... romantic, in a way.

But surely that's not what Stolas wants anymore, is it? Not from him, anyway…

« What does he want from me? » he mutters in a barely audible voice. « What should I do? »

He didn't expect an answer, but Kiki gives him one anyway.

« I don't know about the first one, but maybe a proper ‘thank you’ might be a good place to start? »

Notes:

I hope you like the way the story goes! 🤞

I’m going to take another break, as I’ve once more been writing non-stop for a week now. Plus I’d like to try something on my other fic, but for that I need to write another chapter, so I leave you with this little teaser.
I shouldn’t be too long gone.

Chapter 29: The non-date

Summary:

It wasn't really Blitzø's idea, but he's committed to it...

Notes:

I've been very sick for 3 days, with nothing more to do than read and sleep, so as soon as I felt just a little better, I wrote another chapter... 😅

Chapter Text

Blitzø feels his stomach trying to rise in his throat.

« Fuck, this is going to be a disaster », he groans, massaging his eyelids.

At least he'd been straight with Stolas. That's got to count in his favor, right? It has to count for something, at least.

Still, he feels shitty.

« Sunny-side-up », he says to himself. « You're doing this for him. And for Vanny. And if Stolas never wants to see you or talk to you again, then… »

His voice breaks and tears well up in his eyes.

(Sometimes he wishes he were the pregnant one. At least he'd have a valid excuse for all this emotionalism...)

« Blitzø? »

Of course, Stolas has to be early for their... non-date. And of course he's impeccably elegant, as always, in his midnight-blue shirt and pants, and his silver vest with half-moon-shaped buttons. With a plain black turtleneck, jeans and boots, Blitzø feels underdressed.

« Uh... hi Stolas », he says, grimacing a smile.

He has to force himself to stay put. He's just not ready to meet the man who isn't really his ex (since they were never ‘together’ in the first place) and with whom he's still very much in love. Especially when everything is working to remind him just how ridiculously gigantic the gap between them is.

« Hi », says Stolas with a little wave of his hand, his cheek a deep crimson. « You look very handsome today. But, to be honest, you always look handsome… »

Blitzø snorts.

« Even when I'm in my pajamas and make-up in the middle of a hospital? » he retorts, half-joking, half-bitter.

It's only been three days. His nail polish is still holding, even if his eyes are much less well done than when Kiki took care of it.

Despite the question being essentially rhetorical, Stolas responds without hesitation.

« Especially in this case. May I sit down? »

« Of course. Wait. Maybe you want to order something to drink first? »

« I… uh... sure. What did you order? »

This time, Blitzø's smile is a little more sincere.

« Iced coffee », he says. « Sweet as shit. I don't think that's your thing, though. You're more the herbal tea type… »

Stolas pinches his beak in mock outrage.

« I quite like herbal tea », he confirms. « And I can't help thinking that you're disparaging this drink for no good reason... Have you ever tried it? »

Blitzø raises an eyebrow.

« Nah. Not my thing. »

« How do you know if you've never tried it? » asks Stolas, a small smirk on his beak.

« Have you ever tried iced coffee? » retorts Blitzø defiantly, crossing his arms.

« I'll tell you what: I'll order an iced coffee if you agree to try an herbal tea. »

« Sure, pretty bird. I'll drink your herbal tea », says Blitzø with a shrug.

It's only when Stolas lets out a delighted little hoot that he realizes what he's just said and feels like disappearing into a hole.

« You think I'm pretty? »

Blitzø runs a hand over his face. Could he be any more obvious?

(He guesses he could climb onto Stolas' lap and press his face against the fluffy feathers on his chest, to breathe in that unique blend of lavender, herbs, earth and something so inherently Stolas that there would be no words to describe it, and yet he'd never forget it, even if he were to live a thousand years.

It's probably a good thing there's a table between them, come to think of it).

« Yes, Stolas, I think you're pretty », he replies matter-of-factly. « Now, go and order... whatever you like. »

Stolas lets out another hoot and heads for the counter.

Blitzø bangs his head against the table.

A few minutes later, Stolas places a steaming mug with a strong herbal scent in front of him, before sitting down on the other side of the booth with a mug full of iced coffee.

Blitzø takes a tentative sip. It's not terrible, certainly not the worst thing he's ever tasted, anyway, but it's not good. And judging by Stolas' grimace, iced coffee isn't to his taste either.

« Wanna switch? » offers Blitzø with a small smile.

« Yes, please. »

Blitzø pushes his mug towards Stolas and takes the one with the iced coffee instead. He brings it to his lips and takes a big mouthful, before realizing that Stolas' beak was right there. There's no reason for him to freak out over something so trivial... especially when there's hardly a part of his body that the fucking bird's beak hasn't been on, for Satan's sake! And yet, he can't help raising his eyes to meet Stolas'. The bird stares at him, his white pupils clearly visible in the cherry-red glow of his eyes.

« It's... lovely », says Stolas after a long, uncomfortable pause.

« What is? »

« That you and I could meet like this… »

Blitzø's heart stops. But... but he was clear about the reason for this meeting, wasn't he? He's sure of it. He was very careful with every word he used, even asked Millie and Kiki to double-check his message to make sure there was zero ambiguity.

« Stolas… » he says urgently.

« I know you asked me to come here to discuss something serious », Stolas continues, absentmindedly tracing the rim of his cup with his index finger, « but I'm so glad we can meet again as... as friends. »

Blitzø wonders if he's going to be sick.

Being friends means he'll have to see Stolas on a regular basis and never be able to touch him.

Being friends means he'll have to meet Stolas' new boy toy and pretend he doesn't want to strangle the pretty incubus with his own tail.

Being friends means he'll never be free of that fucking bird's thrall.

Being friends is the last thing he wants.

But Stolas looks at him with such sincerity and hope, and Blitzø knows full well that it's entirely his fault he finds himself in this situation. So he forcefully swallows the thick lump in his throat, digs his claws into his own palms, hoping the physical pain will distract him from the sudden ache in his chest, and forces a smile onto his lips.

« Sure, birdie. Friends. Which makes me think... I've got something for you. »

Before he can second-guess himself, Blitzø picks up the bundle of sheets he'd left on the bench next to him and hands it to Stolas.

As soon as he sees the pages bound with a red ribbon in the bird’s elegant hands, he realizes it's a mistake and wants to snatch them back. It seemed like a good idea when he was a bit tipsy after brunch with Kiki (it turns out that beezle-mimosas are pretty tasty), but now that he's sober and in front of someone so far above him that he might as well be in fucking Heaven, Blitzø realizes how shabby his pathetic attempt at a thank-you gift really is.

Unfortunately, it's too late. Stolas has already opened it.

« I’m sorry… » mumbles Blitzø, running a hand over his face. « I wanted to... thank you for the basket. And it seemed to me... I knew you liked… »

He's perfectly aware that he's rambling, but he's sunk into a pit of despair.

« You drew me a comic of Alejandro and Gabriela? » asks Stolas in an incredulous voice. « With horses? »

This last remark kind of pisses Blitzø off. He knows that his idea is stupid and that his comic is far from perfect. He did his best to write the words correctly and asked Moxxie to read it twice to make sure there were no mistakes in the text bubbles. Moxxie even said it was pretty good... but he was probably trying to be nice.

« Horses are cool », grumbles Blitzø, his cheeks burning with embarrassment.

« Oh thank you Blitzy, I love it so much! » exclaims the bird in a high-pitched voice.

Blitzø doesn't know what shocks him more: that Stolas apparently loves his gift, or that he leans his long body over the table to kiss him on both cheeks. His white pupils have taken on the shape of little hearts, but that's probably an effect of the light, or something.

And if Blitzø’s cheeks are burning now, it’s for an entirely different reason.

He stares at Stolas in silence for a few seconds, too stunned to react. Then he clears his throat.

« Well... I'm... uh... glad you like it. And thanks again for the basket. Pepper's hell piglet plushie has become her favorite to drool on, and Lobster won't sleep without his soft blankie », he says with a chuckle.

Sure, he sent a photo of the twins in their new onesies to Stolas, with a little drawing of the bird as a four-eyed horse and a ‘thank you’ scribbled underneath, but that's not the same as thanking him in person.

« I’m glad to hear it. So Pepper and Lobster are your nephew and niece, correct? »

« It's the other way around. Pepper's the girl. »

Blitzø tells a few anecdotes about his life with the twins. Stolas listens with great interest and even tells a few stories of his own, back when Via was still a nestling. This would give Blitzø the perfect opportunity to broach the real reason why he invited Stolas here. But the bird is right: it's so lovely to be able to talk with him without pressure or resentment that he enjoys the conversation far too much to interrupt it so soon.

Especially as he's pretty sure Stolas won't feel the same way afterwards.

« And then Kiki decided to make little hell-o-ween costumes for the twins. And let me tell you, this girl is very good with a sewing machine. »

« You and that Kiki person… you seem very close », says Stolas in a slightly tense voice.

« Yeah. I guess being a single parent, or parent substitute in my case, creates bonds you don't expect. She's become a great friend in the last couple of months. »

« Just a friend? »

Stolas looks surprised. Blitzø lets out a small laugh.

« I’m pretty sure she still has a massive crush on your little butler, so... yeah. »

« On mister Pringles? »

Horrified, Blitzø puts a hand over his mouth. He's been so caught up in his conversation with Stolas that he's forgotten himself.

« Fuck... I wasn't supposed to talk about this shit. Not until she talked to him, anyway. Promise me you won't tell anyone about it, Stolas. Please! »

He takes the bird's hand in his and squeezes it. Stolas' cheeks turn a soft pink.

« Of course, darling. I won't say a word. »

« Thank you. Never underestimate the wrath of a pregnant woman. »

« Oh I remember… » says Stolas in a mournful voice, and he pales visibly.

Blitzø squeezes his hand once more, for comfort, before reluctantly letting go.

« So... um... I asked you to come here to discuss something pretty important. »

« That's what you said », replies Stolas, nodding in earnest.

« It's about Sunny-side-up. Vanny's baby. The female imp in the hospital », Blitzø clarifies, when it's clear that Stolas has no idea who he's talking about.

He tries not to take it personally. It's not that Stolas dismissed Vanny because she's an imp. He certainly wouldn't have given her such a nice room if he had. He just didn't interact with her, that’s all.

« I sent her a basket with various items for her and the baby, but I have to admit I don't know her tastes as well as yours, so it was a bit generic », Stolas explains sheepishly.

Blitzø feels his cheeks burning once more.

« I’m sure she was very happy with it », he replies, not daring to look the pretty bird straight in the eye.

He vaguely remembers finding lots of chocolate and a stack of romance novels on Vanny's bedside table. Plus another hell piglet plushie, yellow this time. Were these all gifts from Stolas? Was he always so thoughtful and Blitzø too deep in his own shit to realize it until it was too late?

« I’ve been asked to tell you about the baby's daddy. »

Stolas lets out a little hiccup of surprise.

« Why? » he says.

« Because they thought you wouldn't murder me on the spot if I was the one to tell you », Blitzø replies frankly.

« Dearest, I'd never hurt you. Not on purpose. Not again », Stolas corrects, ruefully.

« Don't make such hasty promises, birdie. You see, the thing is… the baby's daddy... is yours. »

« What do you mean, mine? » asks Stolas, frowning.

« He's your daddy too. The baby is your half-brother. King Paimon knocked up Vanny. »

Stolas' beak opens and closes several times. Then his nails dig furrows in the table and a dark aura emanates from his body.

«That fucking hypocrite!» he snarls in an angry voice.

His feathers turn a dark, bloody red and his body seems to expand endlessly.

« I’m sorry » Blitzø whines, curling in on himself.

A single glance towards him and Stolas' dark form recedes, leaving only a contrite-looking bird. He reaches for Blitzø.

« Oh, dearest, I'm sorry, I never meant to frighten you. Did he... did he force her? » he asks, hesitating.

Blitzø shakes his head and replies, in a slightly trembling voice:

« No. That's not what she told us, anyway. »

Stolas puts both hands on his face and takes a deep sigh.

« I guess this young lady and I will have to have a talk, then. Will you... will you come with me? »

Blitzø, who never wanted to have this conversation in the first place, already sees that the second one will be just as uncomfortable, if not more so. But he can no more refuse Stolas' unspoken plea than he could Vanny’s.

« Sure », he murmurs in defeat. « I’ll come with you. »

Chapter 30: The brother

Summary:

Blitzø is pretty sure they can manage without him

Notes:

I'm still pretty sick, but I'm also snowbound, so I don't have much else to do...

This chapter is more of a transitional one, but it will still give us a little update on various protagonists.

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

It turns out that the conversation between Vanny and Stolas is going much better than any of them expected. So much so that Blitzø really wonders what he's doing here. He would have preferred Via to take his place, but Stolas, Vanny and the princess herself felt it would be a little too awkward for the three of them to discuss these subjects together.

(As if it isn’t awkward for Stolas to talk about his father's sex life in front of his own contractual ex-lover...)

Stolas is very kind to Vanny, who in turn does her best to comfort him. You'd almost think he was the one wronged by King Paimon.

(Which, in a way, he is. But it's poor Vanny who's going to lay a giant egg. Or, in this case, to be cut open like a Sinsmas turkey to extract the egg in question. To Blitzø, it still sounds like a horror movie scenario, even if Vanny seems to have made her peace with the situation. She's much braver than he is.

Or maybe she just has no choice.)

« Would you consider coming to live on my estate? » asks Stolas, who has taken one of the young imp's hands between his own. « At least until the egg hatches? I know it's not ideal, but it would allow me to make sure there's always someone nearby to intervene in case of emergency. Besides, the place is so big you wouldn't even need to see me… »

« Prince Stolas… » Vanny begins with a gentle smile.

« Please. Just Stolas. »

« Stolas, then. I don't want to force you to do anything that you don't feel comfortable with, but I'd be very happy if you were part of the baby's life. After all, he's your half-brother... and you're the only one here who has experience with Goetia babies. »

Stolas blushes prettily.

« I’d be honored. I can't say I'm close to my other siblings, but I'll do my best to be a good big brother, if you'll let me. Would you consider coming to live at the estate, then? »

« I’ll have to discuss it with Via, since I'm currently living with her, but I'm not opposed to the idea. If I did, though, would my friends be able to come and see me? »

« Of course », replies Stolas, who seems surprised that she should ask. « They'd be very welcome at any time. »

« Would you be okay with it, Blitzø? He's going to be the baby's Hellfather, you know », Vanny explains with her sweetest smile.

Stolas' blush deepens.

Blitzø, on the other hand, is neither fooled nor amused.

« Vanny… » he groans. « We've been through this before. Three times. I refuse to be anyone's Hellfather. I'm not cut out for it. And I refuse to even entertain the idea that something bad might happen to any of you. So I’ll be Sunny-side-up’s uncle, and we’ll leave it at that! »

« Sorry, Blitzø, my bad. He'll be the baby's Helluncle », corrects Vanny, still smiling at Stolas.

« Why do you call the baby 'Sunny-side-up’? » wonders the latter with a pensive frown.

Blitzø clicks his tongue.

« Come on, Stolas! That's easy! Because it's an egg! »

Stolas blinks a few times, before letting out a small hoot of laughter.

« You're hilarious, Blitzy... I mean, Blitzø. Sunny is very lucky to have such a funny uncle! »

This time, it's Blitzø's turn to blush.

« You're one of the only people who understands my humor », he admits begrudgingly, rubbing the back of his neck.

« Which doesn't mean you're not very funny, darling », retorts Stolas in a tone that brooks no contradiction.

« I agree », says Vanny, with a twinkle in her eye and a smile that dimples her cheek.

Blitzø is almost certain that his are glowing right now, he's so embarrassed.

« Whatever », he grumbles.

« If you don't mind my asking... how do you two know each other? » asks Stolas.

« Didn't Via tell you? »

Blitzø shares Vanny's surprise. He would have thought that Stolas would have questioned his daughter at length after the hospital incident.

Apparently, their assumption was wrong.

So Vanny brings him up to speed. But instead of simply talking about the support group, she tells the bird an extravagant story describing Blitzø as some kind of hero who saves women in distress and soothes crying babies, which is halfway between gross exaggeration and total bullshit. Stolas listens, enthralled, and this strange trick of light turns his pupils into little white hearts once again.

« Don't listen to a word she says », Blitzø groans in disgust. « I’ve just been tricked into running a support group for pregnant women, that's all… »

« I’d say it's a little more than that, darling. Don't forget I saw you the other night at the hospital. You were so eager to defend young Vanny here. »

« Exactly », says the woman in question, crossing her arms with a satisfied smile. « And that's not the only time he's come to our rescue, you see. He went to Kiki's ultrasound with her so she wouldn't be alone. He also helped Magda build Shrimpy’s crib. »

Blitzø is happy that these two seem to be getting closer. He is. It will be better for Sunny-side-up and for Via if they have a good relationship. But that doesn't mean they should gang up on him!

« Yeah, well, I had a little practice with the twins. Plus, Jesse helped me out », he retorts with a shrug. « And Kiki insisted, I’ll have you know. »

It turns out that Jesse and Lavender's coffee date went so well that, when he came to help Blitzø three days later, the hunky bouncer was sporting three hickeys on his chest. But what really freaked the imp out was that Jesse smiled the whole time. Clearly, not only did these two get some, but it was really good. And good for them. What's more, Jesse is now Lavender’s official pregnancy partner, which means one less person for Blitzø to worry about.

« Shrimpy? » repeats Stolas, his eyebrows rising almost high enough to meet his second pair of eyes.

« That's Madga's future baby. Let's just say this kid better love the color pink, because Magda has gone completely overboard in his future bedroom. »

« Just a little », admits Vanny with a chuckle.

« So all those ladies in the hospital were members of your support group? »

« Yes, all of us were there… except Gil. She's the youngest », Vanny explains, exchanging a look with Blitzø.

The teenager is probably the one he's most worried about. Loony said they'd had a great time shopping at Stylish Occult, and she offered to take Gil to a Fuck You Dad concert the following week. She promised to make sure no one got near the kid, and Blitzø trusts his daughter, of course, but he's not sure a concert hall is the best place for a pregnant girl.

And yet, Gil seems so depressed these days that he doesn't feel entitled to intervene.

« Since you two seem to be getting along so well, I'll be going. Mrs. K is babysitting the twins for me, but she's expecting a visit from her favorite granddaughter this afternoon. »

What Blitzø doesn't tell them is that he's increasingly convinced that the old bat has decided to make him part of her family, one way or another. Or is he supposed to believe that it's a coincidence that another grandchild shows up at Mrs. K's every time he's supposed to pick up the twins? Blitzø is a little flattered, he thinks, especially as all the ones he's met have been pretty cool and very hot. Especially her grandson Dem he met last week; the guy is even taller than Blitzø and works on a ranch in Wrath, of all places. But if Blitzø has been celibate for far too long and single forever, his heart isn't exactly available.

Apparently, that means the rest of him isn't either.

(Besides, Mrs. K would kick his ass if he had a one-night stand with any of her grandkids… which, frankly, Blitzø wouldn't even have the time or energy to do. So the question is moot anyway.)

« Of course. Thank you Blitzø », Vanny says.

Blitzø kisses her cheek, before leaning over her belly:

« Here's the deal, kid: you stay here, nice and comfy, for a few more weeks, okay? Take your time to grow big and strong... but not too big, think of your poor mom. And when you're ready to hatch, your big brother will be here to teach you all sorts of cool stuff! »

Stolas lets out another hoot of laughter.

« That's right », he says.

« So... bye, you two. Have fun! » says Blitzø with a little wave.

He's heading for the stairs (most of the hospital is portal-protected), when Stolas' voice hails him.

« Um... Blitzø? »

« Yeah? » he says, shoving his hands into his pockets, because he has no idea what to do with them.

He's still nervous around Stolas, which makes no sense, because they're cool now.

They’re even friends, apparently.

Friends are good.

Well…

Friends are better than nothing, anyway.

« Thank you so much for everything you've done » says Stolas with a warm smile.

Blitzø can't even remember the last time the bird looked at him so fondly.

It hurts a little.

« Stolas, please. I literally did nothing. You didn't even need me. Everything would have been fine between you and Vanny even if I hadn't been there. »

« I wasn't just talking about that. But you're too modest. »

« Pretty sure no one's ever accused me of that before », Blitzø retorts with a smirk.

« Nevertheless, I'd like to invite you to dinner to thank you for your help today... and for all you've done for my sibling. I was wondering... if you'd like to come to my estate for a meal one evening? I'm free most days except Thursday. That's... er... the full moon » says Stolas, sheepishly.

« I know », replies Blitzø, who feels his cheeks burning and curses himself inwardly.

Did he really need to be so obvious in showing how much he'd missed the bird?

And it's not even as if he's counted all the full moons since... since that one. It's just that after meeting Stolas at Ozzie's, he...

Fuck, it doesn't matter anyway.

« I… uh... You don't have to, you know. »

Stolas' gaze catches his, and his white pupils have an almost hypnotic effect on Blitzø.

« Maybe I don't have to, but I really want to », he says simply.

Blitzø feels his skin tingling all over and something fluttering in his stomach. He forces himself to look away from Stolas' eyes and says:

« In that case, I'll see when I can find a babysitter and let you know when I'm free. If that's okay with you? »

Stolas nods and gives him that warm, almost tender smile again.

Blitzø has to get out of here now, or he's going to do something really stupid.

Like trying to kiss the bird.

Or worse, saying the three little words he's only ever spoken to his daughter and the twins.

So he gives Stolas a little wave, summons a portal and runs off as if Mammon himself were after him.

Once on the other side, he lets out a shaky breath. So it seems he has a few days ahead of him to find a solution to a very tricky question:

How is he supposed to stay 'just friends' with the fucking bird?

Notes:

Next time, after
Step 1: the gift
Step 2: listening to him and showing interest
Stolas will implement step 3: cooking.
Something he's never done in his life.

It's going to be interesting...

(But you might have to wait a little longer for that one...)

Chapter 31: The confession

Summary:

Kiki is wrong. It’s NOT a date.

Notes:

This chapter was supposed to be about the dinner. But Kiki hijacked it and we got this instead. Next time… should be dinner time. At least I hope so! 🤞

Chapter Text

« Blitzø has a date! » Kiki exclaims the very moment M&M enters the room.

For at least the third time this afternoon, Blitzø regrets telling her about Stolas' dinner invitation. It was a huge lapse in judgment on his part.

« It's not a date! » he groans through clenched teeth.

« We've been over this, hot stuff, of course it's a date! »

« No, it's not. It's just Stolas offering me a meal to thank me for helping with stuff, that's all. »

« I’m not entirely sure I see the nuance with a date, B » Millie says, frowning.

« That's because there isn't one! » Kiki replies with a triumphant grin.

Blitzø glares at her.

She flutters her eyelashes in return.

« Blitzø... would it really be so bad? » Moxxie asks hesitantly. « If it was a date? »

Blitzø’s first instinct is to lash out. But he has worked on this. He’s trying to be kinder to his friends, especially when they’ve done nothing wrong and he’s the one feeling uneasy. He wraps his arms and his tail around himself, in an instinctive gesture of comfort.

Would it be so bad?

Of course not.

That would be perfect. It would mean that Stolas is willing to give them another chance. But the bird has made it very clear: all he wants from him is friendship. It's the opposite of ideal, but at least Blitzø can live with it. Unnecessary hopes would only lead to heartbreak.

He's been there, done that at Verosika's hate-fest.

Never again.

« Yes », he says, without elaborating.

M&M have known him long enough to know when not to push.

Kiki isn't there yet.

« Why? » she asks, curious.

Blitzø looks away. He doesn't trust himself not to cry. He's far too upset by the whole situation. Especially considering how charming Stolas has been these past few days. If it had been anyone else, Blitzø would have agreed with Kiki that this was a date. But it's Stolas they're talking about. The bird couldn't be subtle if his life depended on it. In the past, he didn't hesitate once to tell Blitzø exactly what he wanted from him. Down to the last detail. Blitzø can’t imagine a world where Stolas tried to seduce him gently.

(The idea is too tempting and therefore too dangerous to entertain.)

« Hot stuff? » asks Kiki, in a much softer voice.

Blitzø leaves the room.

He's not good at this. Talking about his feelings. It's gotten easier with his therapist, because it's her job and he's pretty sure she's dealt with even crappier people than him, but it's still difficult with people he considers friends or family.

In the last two months, Kiki has somehow become both.

He exits the apartment through the window and sits on the fire escape, looking down at the nearly empty street. When he hears a noise behind him, Blitzø is sure Millie has come to check on him, as she always does. She cares about him in a way he's not sure he deserves. So he's startled enough when Kiki sits down next to him, her long legs dangling in the air.

« When I texted Pringles after our one night stand, I was super giddy with excitement », she says after a few seconds. « I couldn't even remember the last time I'd gotten so worked up over a guy. Or a girl, for that matter. But he was so kind and gentle and generous in bed… »

Blitzø can't help but wince.

He's kind of happy that Bean was conceived on a pleasant night. But it feels... wrong to imagine Kiki having sex. With anyone, not just Stolas' uptight little butler. It would be like picturing Barbie doing it. Blitzø knows his twin sister had sex, plenty of times in fact, the living proof being in the next room with M&M. But having knowledge of a fact and thinking about the very concrete, graphic aspects of that fact are two vastly different things.

If Kiki notices his reaction, she doesn't show it. Instead, she sighs and carries on:

« When Pringles wrote me back two days later, saying that his boss was unwell and he couldn't tell me when he'd be available, I cried. Then I got drunk and had a threesome with Ace and Josh. Yeah, I know », she adds when he can't mask his grimace of disgust. « I checked all the books and they're unanimous that drinking during pregnancy is a bad idea, but if you remember, the doctor said Bean should be fine, as long as I take these special, disgusting vitamins until he’s born. »

« It's not that... I mean, yes, it's bad to drink while pregnant, but you couldn't have known that at the time. It's just... how could you sink so low as to sleep with those two assholes? »

Kiki sighs once more and fiddles with the hem of her dress.

« They were there and they seemed to want me. At the time, that was enough. But then I realized I was pregnant and was terrified that either of them could be the father. Ace is too selfish and Josh too immature to take care of a child. So when I found out they'd both had vasectomies, I was so relieved I cried again. »

« Maybe it was the hormones talking », comments Blitzø, who has read the same books as her.

« Maybe », replies Kiki with a shrug. « In any case, there was only one possibility left. And it was at that very moment that Pringles called me back to invite me to have a drink with him and... I panicked. I imagined telling him he was going to be a father and seeing the same look of disgust on his face that I had when I feared one of my roommates was the father. So I waited a whole week before answering and told him I wasn't available. He tried again a couple of times, and I was just as evasive, until he stopped. »

Without looking at her, Blitzø places a hand on hers.

« You deserve so much better than your asshole roommates. And if Pringles isn't capable of realizing what a great girl you are, then he doesn't deserve you either. »

She gives him a hesitant smile.

« That's what I'm getting at, you know. See, when I first met you, you seemed like a real jerk. »

« I totally was », Blitzø admits with a rueful smile.

« Maybe, but so was Verosika. You did some pretty shitty things to her, I'm not going to lie. But so did she. And we refused to acknowledge it, because we were trying to be loyal, but the whole ‘Blitzo sucks’ thing.. it was pretty shitty, to be honest. And asking Prince Stolas to sing about his feelings… that was even worse. Now that I know you better, I'm really sorry to have been part of it. »

« I’m sorry for calling you all names. Well... not sorry for your roommates, to be honest. But you clearly didn't deserve it. »

« I’m not entirely sure. I kissed Moxxie », she admits with a grimace. « I should probably apologize to him too, come to think of it. »

« Yes, probably. But don't do it in front of Millie. She might not like it. And you certainly wouldn't enjoy her reaction. I'm not entirely sure she's above knocking out a pregnant woman, although she'd probably make sure not to hurt Bean in the process… »

« Anyway, what I was going to say is that you're not the same person today as you were then. I like to think Bean made me better, but I know the twins made you an even better version of yourself. And if Prince Stolas can't see that, he's a blind moron. »

Blitzø isn't at all sure he deserves such praise, but he appreciates the sentiment.

« I’m in love with him », he blurts out, before falling silent.

He feels inexplicably shy now that he's admitted it out loud. But Kiki squeezes his hand and gives him an encouraging smile, so he continues:

« He said he wanted us to be friends. He's probably still banging that stupid sexy incubus. How am I supposed to compete? »

« How's that guy supposed to compete with you? » Kiki retorts. « You're a catch, even if you can't see it. You're kind, you're funny and you're very handsome. It seems to me that the Prince would be lucky to have you in his life. I know we are. »

Blitzø rubs the back of his neck awkwardly.

« You're a good friend, Kiki. »

« Right back at you. And Bean is so damn lucky to have you as a Hellfather. »

Blitzø drops her hand and glares at her. She flashes him a smile that digs a dimple in her cheek.

« I’m just kidding. He'll be lucky to have you as his Helluncle », she corrects. « But could you do me a favor? »

« Sure », he says with a shrug.

« Give it a chance. I understand you don't want to be hurt or disappointed. Believe me, I do. I'd probably feel the same way. In fact, I'm terrified of talking to Pringles, because I don't know how I'd react if he hated me for not telling him sooner. But the fact is, I have a chance to make things right. If not for me, then for Bean. He deserves to have two parents, and if Pringles is willing to get to know his child, then I owe it to them both. Maybe Prince Stolas just wants to be friends. I don't know, I don't know him. Although the basket and dinner... that seems like a lot for a simple friendly gesture. »

« Yes, well, that's Stolas for you. The bird never does things by halves », replies Blitzø with a sigh.

« If you say so, hot stuff. But ask yourself this: if he wants to be friends, can you accept it despite your feelings? »

« I have to », Blitzø replies with a sigh. « Not seeing him at all... that would be even worse. »

Kiki nods.

« And if he didn’t? What if I was right and he wanted to be more... could you handle it? »

« I… don't know », Blitzø admits. « I know what I want, but I also know that I still blame him for things. And so does he, I think. And rightly so. »

«So... it seems to me that what you both need right now is to talk. And that dinner at his palace would be the perfect opportunity to do that, don't you think?»

In reality, Blitzø doesn't want to have this conversation with Stolas. He's too afraid of saying the wrong thing and being portaled out of the palace once again. But Kiki is right. If he wants to give this friendship a chance, they've got to lance the boil. Pretending all is well and hoping for the best is what drove them apart in the first place, after all.

« All right » he says with a groan. « But you're coming with me. »

Kiki's eyes widen in surprise and she recoils.

« What? I don't feel like being the third wheel while you two settle scores. »

« I get that. And that's not what I meant. But I thought while I was dealing with my uncomfortable conversation, you could do the same with yours. That way, if anything goes wrong, neither of us will have to face it alone. What do you think? »

Kiki's lip trembles and her eyes are moist, but she holds out her hand.

« I say we have a deal! »

Chapter 32: The freak-out

Summary:

He's not sure he can do this...

Notes:

These two never do what I expect from them. One in particular.
Please don't hate me...

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Blitzø doesn't know what to wear. Paradoxically, it's harder to choose an outfit for something that's definitely not a date and therefore won't end in sex than all the times it did. It was a lot easier back then. Half the time, Stolas had a specific scenario in mind and wanted Blitzø to dress accordingly. For the rest of the time, the imp put on his best outfit, which he still considers his ‘dating clothes’.

But tonight, it's the last thing Blitzø wants to wear. Not only is he too afraid to remind Stolas of the last full moon he had them on, but he might be overdressed for their dinner. On the other hand, if he wears his everyday clothes, won't he be underdressed? He remembers Stolas wearing a stupid t-shirt, an even stupider hat and cotton pants in Loo-loo Land, but other than that, he's never seen the bird in anything but perfect clothing. A paragon of elegance. A fucking Prince.

And Blitzø is... none of that. And never will be. He's... well. Blitzø.

He tries to remind himself that this isn't a date and that Stolas only invited him out of some misplaced gratitude, so it doesn't matter what he's wearing. Stolas doesn't care what he looks like. Not anymore, anyway. But Blitzø knows he's in for an uncomfortable conversation, and he's worried he'll lose his cool if his outfit stands out too much. On the other hand, if he wears the stuffy clothes he has in the back of his closet, the ones he wore to both his parents' funerals, he'll feel too uncomfortable to utter a single word.

After an hour and a half of trying on every item of clothing he owns, Blitzø is on the verge of breaking down. He's not going anywhere. He needs help.

That’s why, half an hour later, Vanny (who just got discharged from the hospital), Lavender, Magda, Kiki, Millie and Mrs. K are in his room, sitting either on his bed or on the floor, ready to give him advice. As soon as she heard Lavender say that her father has a ’hot bod that he needs to show off’, Loony refused to stay any longer and took Octavia and Gil with her. The princess has remained strangely quiet about the situation. But after all, it's not a date, so she has nothing to worry about.

(Blitzø can't help but wonder if she knows about the hunky incubus. What Octavia said the first time she came to the support group led Blitzø to believe she knew nothing about her father's sex life, but surely they've discussed it since? Would she be supportive of this relationship as she never was with Blitzø? After the hospital incident, she has become much nicer to him, but by tacit agreement, they both avoid talking about certain subjects. Unsurprisingly, her parents top the list.)

« So, what about this one? »

« It doesn't do anything for your ass, dear », declares Mrs. K in a matter-of-fact tone.

Blitzø feels himself blushing.

« I agree with her », Lavender comments. « Like I said, you've got a great bod, sugar. Show it off. »

« B-but... it's just… dinner with a friend. No… Nothing more », Blitzø mumbles, beginning to seriously question his impulse to ask these women for help.

« Yeah, but the idea is for him to see you differently, right? » Magda asks, raising an eyebrow.

« Yes! » exclaims Kiki, at the same time as Blitzø replies:

« No! »

« I haven't got all day, dear », says Mrs. K with a reproving click of her tongue. « Which is it? »

Blitzø massages his jaw.

« He used to see me differently and it didn't work », he says after a few seconds' thought.

« That's one way of looking at it », Millie interjects with a sympathetic grimace. « Their breakup was very hard on Blitzø. Except he'll tell you… »

« We didn't break up », growls the imp in question, clenching his fists, « We weren't even together to begin with! »

« …that », concludes Millie with a fatalistic shrug.

Mrs. K and Magda nod in agreement. Lavender and Kiki, on the other hand, don't seem convinced.

« But that doesn't really answer the question », Vanny finally says. « Do you want him to think of you as more than a friend? »

Blitzø's first instinct is to say no, once again. But Kiki crosses her arms and glares at him. After their conversation the night before, he's sure she won't let him off so easily.

« Maybe? » he says, rubbing the back of his neck.

« Then Mrs. K is right. These pants do nothing for your ass. Let's move on to the next look », declares Vanny in a tone that brooks no argument.

Twenty minutes later, the women finally agree upon a look: a close-fitting white turtleneck, dark skinny jeans, boots and a silver belt to which Blitzø clips his mother's skull brooch. It's comfortable enough that he doesn't feel stuffy, casual but not too much, and he doesn't think Stolas has ever seen him in these clothes.

(Plus, they show off his body.)

He keeps telling himself that it doesn't matter, that it's not a date anyway, but when he looks in the mirror he almost feels handsome and can't help hoping that Stolas will think so too. Plus, Kiki has once again done up his eyes, giving him a little something extra.

« You clean up very nicely, dear », comments Mrs. K with an approving look. « If it doesn't work out with this guy, I'm sure my Dem will be more than willing to show you a good time. »

This time, Blitzø blushes even redder.

« Nice! » Millie says with a big grin.

« Which one is it? » asks Lavender, frowning.

« The hunk who's even taller than Blitzø, right? » Magda replies, checking with Mrs. K, who nods in agreement.

« He's hot », comments Kiki. « Plus, he's got dimples. »

« Oh », says Vanny, wide-eyed.

(Maybe she has a thing for dimples. Blitzø finds it hard to imagine Stolas' dad with a set of those, but just because Vanny slept with him doesn't mean he's exactly her type. Besides, Dem's are pretty cute.)

« He has the best of both parents », explains Mrs. K, and her pride is palpable in her voice. « He has his mother's face and his father's body. My son-in-law used to work at Lord Satan's palace. »

Millie's smile widens and Lavender flashes an approving grin, but it's clear that neither Magda nor Vanny understand what this means.

« Satan only hires tall, muscular half-imp hybrids for his personal guard », Blitzø explains. « As Lavender would say, they have hot bods. »

« Oh that they do », confirms Mrs. K with a knowing smile.

« So... now that I'm ready, maybe we should talk about Kiki's outfit. She's got an important meeting tonight too », says Blitzø, in a completely innocent tone.

Kiki gives him a murderous look, but it's too late for her: the sharks have caught the scent of blood and are going to give her a makeover, whether she likes it or not.

An hour later, they both pass through the portal Blitzø has just opened to Stolas' palace. Except that, as he stands before the wrought-iron stairs leading up to the front door, vivid images of the last time he was there suddenly invade Blitzø's mind and he freezes in place, his whole body trembling.

« Blitzø? What's wrong? » Kiki asks in a worried voice.

« No… I… This was a bad idea. I can’t… I should never have come here. He's going to do it again. I’ll screw up, like I alway do and he… and he… I don't know if... I can't take it a second time! », he blurts out, tears welling up in his eyes.

All Blitzø wants to do is run, as far as he can, but he seems to have rooted himself to the spot. Which is pure torture, because he's standing in the very same place where Stolas teleported him the last time he was here.

« You'll be fine, hot stuff. You're not alone. I'm with you », Kiki says in a soft, soothing voice, rubbing circles with one hand on his back, just below his spikes.

He's feeling a little better. Barely, but still.

« Don't move, okay? I'll be right back. »

Despite himself, Blitzø lets out a pathetic little whimper, but Kiki gently squeezes his shoulder, before going to knock on the door. Seconds later, it opens.

« Ki… Kiki? What are you doing here? »

« Um… Hello Pringles. Actually, I'm here... to... to see you. I've come with my friend Blitzø. He has a date with Prince Stolas. »

« Not a date », Blitzø manages to gasp.

They both ignore him.

« Of course. But the Prince wasn’t expecting him for another half hour. »

« I know. We were ready earlier than we thought, I guess. But he... he seems to be having a panic attack. »

A panic. Attack. Yeah. That makes sense.

« I don't know the details, but I think it's related to what happened between Blitzø and your boss, so either Prince Stolas comes here and talks to him, or I take him home in a cab », Kiki explains in a calm, almost detached voice.

« Of course. Wait here, I'll fetch the Prince. »

Blitzø has to run. He can't still be here when Stolas returns. If the bird sees him like this, he won't even be his friend anymore. He's a loser. But his legs are so heavy. He can't move them.

« Hot stuff? Can you hear me? »

Blitzø nods, sniffing.

« Can you breathe? »

Blitzø nods, once more.

« Good. Do it. »

He takes a shaky breath and realizes he was holding it. He inhales again. Then he exhales. Blitzø still feels like shit and his body still trembles, his tail wrapping around his middle, but at least his heart doesn't feel like it's going to explode in his chest.

« Blitzy? Mr. Pringles tells me you're not well? »

Blitzø looks up, and two set of glowing eyes, with dilated white pupils, stare back at him.

« Oh Blitzy… »

Gently, Stolas wipes the tears from his eyes.

« What's wrong, darling? Will you talk to me about it? »

« You're going to throw me out! I'm going to screw everything up, as usual, and you're going to throw me out like a piece of trash. Just like last time! » Blitzø wails.

Stolas stands perfectly still, looking at him as if Blitzø had just slapped him.

« Is that... is that what you think happened? »

Blitzø merely nods.

« It's not… » Stolas whispers.

« I know I fucked up, okay? I know I hurt you. But you didn't even give me time to realize what was happening. You just threw your feelings in my face like I was supposed to know everything already. And I didn't. And I screwed it all up. And I tried to apologize, because you were crying and it broke my... but you... You just threw me out. Like I didn't matter. Like I wasn't even a person! »

« Oh darling… » murmurs Stolas, and his eyes fill with tears, making Blitzø feel even worse.

« I’m going to go », he mutters.

« Please don’t », murmurs Stolas, taking his hand between his own. « It's not how I wanted to do it, but I... I appreciate that at least you can talk to me about it. About how you feel. And I'm really sorry. Of course you matter. You have no idea how important you are to me, darling. »

He takes Blitzø's face in his hands and looks at him with such tenderness that it's too much to bear.

Blitzø does the only thing he can do: he throws himself at the bird and buries his face in the soft feathers of his chest. Stolas freezes once more, stiff as a stick, then relaxes and wraps his arms around Blitzø.

« I’ll never throw you out, dearest » he murmurs. « Never again. »

Notes:

That's not what I intended to do with this chapter (and certainly not what Stolas had in mind when he invited Blitzø to eat at his place), but that talk was long overdue...

Chapter 33: The epiphany

Summary:

Blitzø hadn't realized...

Notes:

Oh my Satan (who by the way is totally hot despite being an asshole🤭). So many feelings after seeing Mastermind! I’m not going to lie, I had no idea it would go that way. Poor Blitzø. Poor Stolas. And yet… somehow, it feels like Stolitz actually do have a chance, now. I just hope it turns out okay and Sinsmas is not going to kick us in the shins and break our hearts!

But now, let see what happens the morning after...

Chapter Text

Blitzø is awakened by a chorus of female voices coming from the living room. He recognizes his daughter’s and Millie’s, of course, as well as Kiki’s and is almost certain that Mrs. K is there too. With a slight groan, he rubs his eyes, looks at his phone and goes from half-asleep to wide awake in a second, for two very different reasons.

Firstly, it's almost eleven a.m.. To be honest, Blitzø can't even remember the last time he slept this late, but he's pretty sure it was right before the twins came into his life.
Secondly, Stolas sent him a few text messages early this morning. These are the first Blitzø has received from the bird since their last full moon together.

Yesterday, after his panic attack, the ensuing discussion with Stolas (if you can call vomiting out some of the intense, conflicting emotions he's been holding close to his heart for months a ‘discussion’) and a very long hug that left his turtleneck smelling like the bird, Stolas had suggested that they take a rain check on their dinner.

Blitzø couldn't help but feel like he was being dismissed once again, and it must have shown on his face, because Stolas had gently stroked his insignia and smiled at him.

« It's not that I don't want to spend the evening with you, darling », he had said, « but you look fairly upset. I'm sure you'll feel better after a good night's sleep. »

Blitzø had to admit he was exhausted. In fact, he felt even worse than after a long day of killing with I.M.P.

« Yeah. Probably. »

« Perhaps… I can call you later? » had asked Stolas, and for the first time, he sounded uncertain.

« Sure. You know my number », had replied Blitzø with a shrug.

After that, he and Stolas had waited in awkward silence for Kiki to finish her discussion with Pringles.

« Your Highness... I'm going to be a father », was the first thing the little butler said when they both finally came out of the palace.

He seemed in a daze. Kiki, for her part, looked a little tense.

« Congratulations Mister Pringles », had said the bird, and his smile looked genuine. « Should we celebrate? »

« Um.. Thanks but... I think we're going home » Kiki had replied, after a worried glance at Blitzø. « Are you able to summon a portal, hot stuff, or do you want me to call a cab? »

« Oh please, allow me! » Stolas had said, before conjuring a portal with his magic.

And after exchanging brief, almost too polite farewells with the prince and butler, Blitzø and Kiki had passed through the portal that led them... to Blitzø's old building.

Clearly, Stolas hadn't been informed of the move.

So Blitzø summoned another portal with his crystal, which led them directly into the hall of their current one.

« We'll talk more tomorrow », Kiki had announced, before giving him a kiss on the cheek and heading off to Mrs. K's apartment.

After that, Blitzø hurried up the stairs to his place, where he went to bed without even taking off his clothes.

(He may have sniffed the scent of Stolas wafting from his turtleneck before falling asleep.

He's almost certain he dreamed of the bird.)

His heart beating a little too fast, he opens his phone to look at Stolas' messages.

Good morning, Blitzø. I hope you got home safely and slept well’, says the first.

I was wondering if you'd be free to have dinner with me tonight. If you need someone to look after your children, Mister Pringles assures me that he's used to take care of young implings, as he comes from a large family and has looked after many nieces and nephews. But if you don't want to leave them with a stranger, they can of course come with us. Just let me know what kind of food and drink I should prepare for them’, says the second.

Stolas sent a third and final one half an hour ago

I thought you'd be a little less stressed if we had a picnic under the stars. I know just the place. Please let me know if you're available and if it's convenient. If it's not, that's okay. I'll find something else. And if you're not free, just tell me when you have time. Now that the full moon has passed, I'm free most evenings.’

To be honest, a picnic under the stars with Stolas sounds amazing. A little too much, in fact. After Blitzø freaked out last night and clung to him like he was his security blanket, it's safe to say that even the vague attraction Stolas might still have had to Blitzø has vanished. The imp figures he should be grateful that the bird is still willing to be his friend. As for him, he can't help but rub his face against the pillow, where the faintest scent of Stolas still lingers. Unfortunately, although the pillow is super soft, it's not nearly as fluffy as the feathers on the bird's chest.

Blitzø reads his texts once more, before getting up and taking off yesterday's clothes, putting on one of his favorite horse tee-shirts and another pair of jeans instead. Bare-hoofed, he opens the living room door.

« Tah! Tah! » Pepper shouts as soon as she sees him, trying to wriggle out of Mrs. K's arms to reach her uncle.

Blitzø takes the baby from their neighbor and kisses her on the forehead. She wraps her tail around his wrist and rubs her head against his face with a little purr.

« Did you miss your favorite uncle, baby girl? »

« Mi Tah! »

He's pretty sure that means yes.

« I missed you too, you know. You and your brother », he adds, looking at Lobster, who's sleeping blissfully in Millie's arms.

« Tah! » replies his little girl solemnly, probably agreeing with him that everything is better when they’re both tagging along.

The fact is, Blitzø is pretty sure he wouldn't have panicked so much had they been there.

(But Stolas wouldn't have hugged him either.

Yes, but the bird might have given Blitzø another chance if he hadn't started crying like a toddler.

With that incubus in his bed? Fat chance. Despite what Kiki said, there's no way Blitzø can compete with that...)

« If you missed the kids, that Prince of yours must have done something wrong », comments Mrs. K reprovingly. « Shall I call my Dem and ask him to invite you to dinner? »

Blitzø stares at her in silence for a few long seconds, before turning to Kiki, who shakes her head almost imperceptibly. So she didn't tell the others what happened yesterday. Good. Blitzø would rather not have to tell them how he totally panicked and blew all his chances like an absolute moron.

« I… uh... we've taken a rain check », he says, grimacing. « And about… »

He doesn't have time to finish his sentence before Loony's eyes begin to burn with rage.

« What's that idiot done? Do I have to set him straight? I swear this time, I'm going to… »

« Wo wo wo », says Blitzø, raising his hands to appease his daughter. « He didn't do anything, I promise. It was… »

« Me », Kiki interjects with an apologetic grimace. « I panicked a little after talking to Pringles and Blitzø kindly offered to take me home. »

« Good boy », says Mrs. K, with an approving smile that Blitzø knows he doesn't deserve.

Millie, on the other hand, doesn't seem convinced and gives him a suspicious look.

« Oh », says Loony, who begins nervously petting her own tail.

« What do you mean, 'again'? » Blitzø asks, frowning.

« Dad... don't get mad, okay? This douchebag came to the office, about a month after you broke up... I know, it wasn't a breakup, whatever… » she corrects, rolling her eyes, before he can say anything. « He was drunk and I... I kind of snapped. You were just starting to get better, I was so afraid that seeing him would depress you again, so I told him everything I thought about his behavior toward you. And then I told him to fuck off. He never came back after that. »

Oh.

Blitzø feels as if a brick house has just fallen on his head. He can only stare at his daughter in silence, his mouth agape.

« Say something, Dad. He deserved it, so I’m not going to apologize, but I… »

Loony's beautiful red eyes fill with tears, and Blitzø rushes to give her a gentle hug, while Pepper pats her hair. The fact that his daughter allows him to comfort her makes Blitzø's heart swell.

« It's okay, Loony Toony », he says. « I’m not mad. I get it. You were looking out for your old man. »

« Yes, Dad. I did », she replies, pushing him away, but not unkindly.

« That’s my big girl », he says proudly, despite the nagging feeling that he was deeply mistaken.

He was so hurt and angry at Stolas for completely excluding him from his life after Verosika's party. But it turns out that Stolas did try to contact him. It was Blitzø who shut him out.
Which didn’t stop Stolas from stepping in when Blitzø called for help.

Blitzø owes the bird an apology. A big one. He knows it doesn't change everything, that Stolas still went to the party and did... all those other things. And the fact that Blitzø has no valid reason to be angry with him makes no difference.

He still got hurt.

He still felt like he didn't matter. Like Stolas toyed with him. Because less than 24 hours after telling Blitzø he had feelings for him, his tongue was in another demon’s throat.

And yet…

And yet…

« I’ll be right back! »

Without giving anyone time to react, he returns to his room and, before he has a chance to change his mind, he presses the call button.

« Blitzy? » says Stolas' surprised voice.

« I have to see you. Now. »

Chapter 34: The discussion

Summary:

They’re going to have that talk if it’s the last thing Blitzø does…

Notes:

I published a chapter yesterday evening and one of my OTHER fic this morning, so I totally should rest a bit, but I still have many emotions still lingering after Mastermind, so here we go...
Once again, I couldn’t get these two beautiful idiots where I wanted them, but they’re getting closer each time. One day, they'll get there. I believe in them!
I hope you still like it!

Chapter Text

Blitzø tries to leave Pepper at home, with her cousin Loony and the others. As usual, Mrs. K is more than willing to look after the twins, but the glances Loony and Millie are giving Blitzø make it clear that he’ll have some explaining to do when he returns. Whatever, that’s a future-Blitzø problem. Kiki's gaze, meanwhile, is worried, though she gives him a thumbs-up.

But as soon as Blitzø moves to put Pepper into her cousin’s arms, the little girl begins to squirm and scream in protest. Blitzø immediately gathers her back in his arms and starts rocking her, lest she wakes her brother and he’s left with two screaming machines working at full capacity on his hands. In the literal sense of the word. As soon as she finds herself against him, Pepper stops screaming and even gives him her signature two-pronged smile. Despite a slight urge to strangle his niece, she’s so adorable that Blitzø can’t help rubbing his nose against hers and giving her another kiss.

« Looks like she wants to stay with her daddy », comments Mrs. K with an amused chuckle.

« We've been over this… » sighs Blitzø. « I’m not… »

« I know what you said, dear, and I know what I know. Now go get your young man! »

« B-but that's not what I… » stammers Blitzø, to which Mrs. K simply replies with a patient smile, bordering on condescending.

So he grabs Pepper's emergency bag, waves goodbye and heads to the coffee shop half an hour early.

Too nervous to risk taking an extra dose of coffee, he chooses a spiced hot chocolate instead, which he sips slowly as he listens to Pepper vocalizing her opinions on the situation. He does his best to pay attention.

« Hello Blitzø. »

Coming seemingly out of nowhere, Stolas' voice catches him off guard and he chokes on his drink.

« Tah? » asks Pepper, who gently pats his face.

« I’m so sorry. I didn't mean to startle you. »

Blitzø looks up at Stolas, who has a steaming mug in his hands, a sheepish expression on his face and a slight blush on his cheeks.

« No… It’s okay… Pepper was just telling me how I should handle the discussion and I was memorizing her advice », he replies in all seriousness.

A small smile plays on Stolas' beak.

« And what are her opinions on the matter? »

« Since two out of every three words that come out of her mouth are ‘Tah’, I literally have no clue. But she was very adamant about it. »

This time, Stolas lets out one of those little hoots of laughter, and Blitzø is very grateful that there's a table and a baby between them, otherwise he might have pounced on the bird to kiss him senseless.

Not only would it defeat the purpose of his being here, but as Stolas' friend (and nothing more, despite what others are willing to believe), he has no right to have that kind of impulse.

« May I sit here? »

« Please », says Blitzø with a little nod.

Stolas takes a seat on the bench opposite him and looks at him expectantly.

« You said you wanted to see me urgently to talk about something? I don't have any other unborn siblings you forgot to tell me about, do I? »

Blitzø snorts and Stolas gives him a small, satisfied smile.

« No. Not that I know of, anyway. »

« That's good. So, what's this all about? »

A lump lodges in Blitzø's throat. His mouth is suddenly very dry and he can't stop his tail from swishing left and right. What if he messed things up? What if Stolas got angry with him? What if he got upset? Or both? The bird may have said he'd never teleport him again, but what if he teleports himself? What if...

Two small hands grab his cheeks and big silver eyes look at him earnestly.

« Tah! » says Pepper and, for once, he feels he understands what she means.

« Thank you, baby girl », he murmurs, kissing her forehead, in the exact same spot he (and her mother) have their insignia.

Blitzø takes a deep breath and forces himself to look at Stolas, which isn't a good idea, because the bird is looking at him with this gentle, almost tender smile. His breath catches in his throat.

« Uh... okay. I... I wanted to talk about Verosika's party. »

The half-shocked, half-worried expression on Stolas' face makes it clear that he hadn't expected the discussion to take such a turn. Fearing that the bird might take flight at any moment, Blitzø holds firm and forces himself to continue.

« Look... I know I messed up during the full moon... and the next morning too. I should never have come to your palace before thinking things through, although to be honest, thinking before acting has never been my strong suit. »

« I’m so sorry Blitzy, I… »

« No. Let me talk. Please. »

The white pupils are apparent in Stolas' glowing eyes, and his expression is one of dread. But he puts his hands around his mug, takes a small breath and forces a smile onto his beak.

« I apologize. Please continue. »

« I haven't been fair to you. I... I know you tried to show me you cared, with your texts asking about my day, and your comments on my Sinstagram... but I couldn't see it. I always thought... When you told me about your feelings, I panicked. And I said hurtful things... but you never gave me time to apologize. You just threw me out. And the very next day, you decided to go to that party, knowing that everything was designed to hate me. Plus, you sang that song and it hurt even more. Because I felt you hated me too. Just like I always knew you would in the end. »

« I nev… »

Blitzø looks at Stolas, who puts a hand over his beak and shoots him an apologetic look. There are tears in his eyes. In Blitzø's too, actually. Pepper starts babbling again and he absentmindedly strokes her hair and tickles her belly, forcing the words out of his mouth.

It'd be easier if he tried pulling teeth, to be honest.

« And... as if that wasn't enough, you told me all those romantic things you dreamed of, which made it so clear that I'd never been the person you really wanted and never could be. And… and then… »

The tears begin to flow. Pepper puts her tiny hands on his now damp cheeks once again and asks, ‘Tah?’ in an almost worried voice. He cradles her against his chest and begins to rock her gently, though he can't tell which of the two of them he's trying to soothe.

« And then I... I told you I never thought anyone could have t-t-those kinds of feelings for… for me and... and you... you said all those people were there because of me. As if the only kind of emotion someone like me could provoke in someone else was... was... h-hate… »

He whimpers, wraps his tail around Pepper's body and his own, and starts rocking back and forth. Pepper purrs, but he's almost certain she's trying to comfort him this time.

« Oh Blitzy... darling, no... Please don't... I never meant it like… You've got to believe me... I'm sorry... I'm so sorry you got hurt... But you have to understand... I was heartbroken. And half-drunk. It wasn't about you. I was lost. I was so scared to give you that crystal, because I... I realized how wrong that deal had been and... and I wanted so badly for you to tell me that I wasn't just a naive old fool and that some of what we had was real... but at the same time, I remembered those things Stella always said.... That I was ugly, and pathetic, and unlovable, and... when you started accusing me of playing with you, and then the morning after, when you acted like you were forced to touch me… it was like... like her, all over again. But a hundred times worse. Because I never cared about her as much as I care about you. »

He starts sobbing loudly and Blitzø feels his own heart breaking into a thousand pieces. He walks around the table and sits down right next to Stolas. He places Pepper in the crook of one arm, wraps another around Stolas' small waist and starts rubbing his back, arms, chest, everything he can reach.

« Stella's the ugly one, pretty bird », he says, his eyes still full of tears and his voice hoarse from crying. « She's jealous and blind. You're beautiful, kind, caring, intelligent and very lovable. I'm sure your boyfriend tells you that all the time. »

Blitzø has to force himself to say that last sentence, because even though he means every word, it's still hard for him to imagine Stolas with that incubus asshole.

The bird startles.

« Boy... boyfriend? » he says, looking at him in bewilderment. « What boyfriend? »

« Well... that incubus you kissed at the party. The... better than Blitzo guy… »

He can't help but spit out these words bitterly, as it’s pushing him to the limit.

Stolas shakes his head.

« It was only once », he says. « I probably shouldn't have, but he made me feel desirable at a time when I really needed it and... it felt good to be wanted. »

« I’m sorry if you got the impression I didn't want you, Stolas », Blitzø says, searching his gaze. « I did. That's one of the things that made this whole situation even more complicated, because yes, you forced me into this deal, but the sex was incredible and it felt so... so natural between us. »

Stolas gives him a sad little nod, then looks away.

« Stolas… »

The bird turns to him. His eyes are puffy, his mascara has run, his feathers are a total mess and he looks downright miserable.

He's the most beautiful demon in all of Hell.

Without thinking, Blitzø steps up onto the bench to kiss him on the cheek, stroking it with the pad of his thumb. Stolas lets out a little hoot of surprise and his white pupils widen.

I love you, Blitzø thinks.

I love you and there won't be anyone else, because my heart and mind are too full of you to leave room for another.

I love you, give me another chance. I can be better.

But he pushes the words away, because that's not what Stolas wants, not anymore, and it wouldn't be fair to him. So he sits down.

« For what it's worth, I think you're very desirable », he says. « And I've never had to force myself or fake it during our full moons. Not once. »

« Thank you, Blitzø », says Stolas, placing a hand on his to give it a gentle squeeze, before letting go.

Blitzø can't help thinking that this feels a lot like a farewell.

« Tah », says Pepper, patting the bird's fluffy arm.

And she must like the texture, because she starts tugging at his feathers with a delighted grin.

« Pepper, no, you'll hurt him! »

« Let her », says Stolas with a gentle smile. « I don't mind. She's very cute, by the way. She's your niece, I understand. Your sister's daughter? »

Blitzø nods and begins to talk a little about Pepper and Lobster. Stolas breaks into a small smile, which grows wider with each new anecdote. Blitzø even manages to make him laugh.
The conversation is bittersweet, as on the one hand it flows freely between them, as they seem at last to be at ease with each other. Plus, they were able to talk about all those things that festered between. And they're still talking afterwards.

(He's pretty sure his therapist is going to be so proud of him.)

But on the other hand, he wants so much more with the bird. He misses the sex, true, but that's only part of it. He misses his company, the way he looks at him, his smell, falling asleep snuggling up to him... Friends don't do that sort of thing.

But not enough is much better than not at all, so he pushes the regret away.

If this is going to be their new normal, it's not so bad.

Chapter 35: The progress

Summary:

The twins are growing up so fast.
But these aren’t the only progress to be made…

Notes:

I’ve been on a roll this weekend, thanks to Mastermind, especially the last few seconds. And the song. Oh that song!
(Plus next week I’m going to be pretty occupied, so I’ll have a lot less time to write.)

That being said… please know the chapter ends on a cliffhanger. So if you want to wait for the next one, that’s okay too.

Thanks to all of you who commented, and left kudos. That makes me so happy ❤️

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

A few days later, Millie corners her boss in front of I.M.P. 's coffee machine.

« Blitzø... When are you goin’ to get your head out of your ass and do somethin’ about it? » she asks, crossing her arms disapprovingly.

He knew it was coming. In fact, he's surprised it's taken her this long. Fizz went through with it yesterday during lunch, while Blitzø was eating his dessert.

But that doesn't stop him from looking puzzled and playing dumb.

« What are you talking about? »

« What do you think, idiot? I'm talkin’ about Stolas, of course! What's goin’ on between you two? »

« We're friends. We're just friends, okay? » he insists before she can respond. « That's what he wants. And I have to respect that. Boundaries. I know I've never been good with them, but I'm trying to get better. »

« Oh Blitzø », she says, and the compassion in her eyes breaks his heart a little. « Can you really be happy with that? »

Blitzø pinches the bridge of his nose.

« I have to be, Mills. It's either that or no Stolas at all. And you... you remember what it was like, those first couple of months. »

To say Blitzø was depressed after Verosika's hate-fest would be technically true, but also a gross understatement. The only reason the IMP are still in business now is that Millie took over when she realized Blitzø wasn't up to the job anymore. She gently pushed him aside, making sure he ate, drank and rested sufficiently. Meanwhile, she divided all his tasks between herself, Moxxie and Loony until Blitzø could finally stand on his own two legs. Then she simply stepped aside and let him resume his duties, as if nothing had happened. Although they never really talked about it, Blitzø is very grateful to the three of them for everything they did during that dark period, Millie in particular. He may not have said it in words, but he made sure to show his appreciation.

Even now. So she knows he hasn't forgotten. He's grateful for her help, of course, but also for her friendship. Maybe even more so. He may not feel as close to her as he does to Kiki in terms of shared experience, but he'd put his life in her hands without question. She'll always have his back. She's his rock.

Millie hugs him fiercely and, after the initial shock, he hugs her back.

« Thank you Mills », he whispers.

« Anytime, hun’ »

« Di! Di! Di! »

They both turn their heads towards Lobster, who crawls across the floor towards them. Blitzø is so startled that he freezes in shock, as this is the first time this has happened. Millie smiles broadly and pulls out her phone to film the scene, all the while encouraging the baby. When Lobster finally reaches them, he throws himself on his uncle's boots, and Blitzø bends down to take him in his arms.

« Di! » says the little boy, solemnly. « Biss, Di! Di? »

Biss is what Lobster calls him. Only two other adults around the little boy deserve the honor of him trying to say their name. Loony is Loowi and Millie is Mi’i. Lobster has a special bond with the two of them, just as Blitzø has with Pepper. He loves his nephew so much and would die for him without hesitation, but he feels a little closer to his niece. So he's glad that there are people in Lobster's life who put him first.

He knows all too well how it feels when everyone favors your siblings over you.

« I saw that », Blitzø replies, just as solemnly. « You did it all by yourself. You're the smartest little boy in all Hell. »

« Di! » confirms Lobster with the tiniest nod.

Then he turns to Millie, opening his arms to her.

« Mi’i! Di? Di du di! »

She laughs, scoops him up in her arms and nuzzles his cute little face.

« Well done Beo, you've come all this way on your own. I'm so proud of you! »

He gives her a big smile and starts purring. But all this effort and emotion must have tired him out, as he falls asleep almost instantaneously. Blitzø and Millie exchange a knowing smile before getting back to work.

Over the next few days, Lobster becomes increasingly confident on all fours. His favorite game is to chase his cousin, while Loony swings her tail just out of his reach. Usually, after a few attempts, she lets him catch her and they roll around on the floor together.

(They’re lucky Ozzie’s cleaning crew still comes by twice a week to keep the place spotless.Plus, they like the twins. Ronnie, a tall, hunky guy who could be Jesse's brother, always takes the time to chat with them and listens attentively to their babble. He says they're the cutest kids he's ever seen and hopes to convince his wife, who is a cage dancer at Ozzie's, to try having one of their own. Unsuccessful so far, but he hasn’t given up.)

Pepper is still reluctant to crawl and prefers to be carried by her uncle (or Moxxie, her second favorite person in all of Hell). Blitzø asked Mrs. K about this, but she didn't seem to worry. She says that some babies walk first, others talk first, especially siblings, but they all get there in their own time. And Blitzø doesn't mind having Pepper in his arms, even at work. Moxxie himself has got used to doing it. It disturbs some of their clients, for sure, but most of them are charmed by the twins and, on the whole, everything goes pretty well.

Except that Blitzø hasn't seen Stolas for over two weeks.

It's not that they fell out after their very emotional conversation. On the contrary, they regularly exchange text messages. And this time, Stolas is not the only one to initiate or maintain the conversation. All the while, it flowed seamlessly, without the slightest downtime. Blitzø has got into the habit of letting him know whenever something important is happening. For example, the bird was the first to learn that Lobster was crawling around on the office floor, even before Kiki (Which Blitzø isn't going to tell her because he doesn't want to hurt her feelings... especially as she's still trying to come to terms with the fact that the little butler is now part of her baby's life, and hers by association, with all the difficulties that implies). Stolas responded within minutes, asking for a photo and talking about when Octavia first started crawling. And every time Blitzø draws with his new charcoals on the high-quality paper Stolas gave him, he sends a photo to the bird, even before posting it on his Sinstagram.

But he's not the only one to share snippets of his life: Stolas tells him about his stars, as he did when they were in bed, but also about his beloved plants. Blitzø had no idea the bird had such a green hand, but that faint smell of earth on his feathers makes so much more sense, now. Stolas also talks about his mending relationship with his daughter, as well as his growing friendship with Asmodeus, and with some Goetia bird named Vassago. In return, Blitzø tells him about M&M, Mrs. K, and the girls in his support group (without ever going into detail, as it's not his place to talk about their lives). To which Stolas responds by speaking of his imp employees, whom he is finally getting to know, and Blitzø...

Yes, they talk, all right. They've spoken more by text in the last two weeks than in the entire duration of their agreement.

But they haven’t seen each other. They haven’t even spoken on the phone. Not once. And Blitzø is surprised at how much he misses the sound of the bird's voice. Well, not really surprised. If he's honest with himself, Blitzø already knew that Stolas' absence had left a big hole in his life. Blitzø has longed for so many things about him: his scent, his soft feathers, the way Stolas used to gently stroke his insignia as he spoke, being called all those little pet names (yes, even Blitzy, which he hated)... but more than all that, he missed Stolas himself. Hearing him talk passionately about the things he loves. Which is surprising, given that the first time Blitzø gagged him, it was to shut him up.

(The only thing he didn’t miss at all is the dirty talk.. but he would have put up with it without complaint if it had allowed him to hear the sound of Stolas' voice again.)

It's not that Blitzø doesn't want to call Stolas himself. He almost did three times yesterday alone.

But as he told Millie, he's trying something new: respecting Stolas' boundaries. The last time he didn't, he and Stolas stopped talking to each other for six months. That's something he never wants to experience again.

And Stolas said ‘friends’. In Blitzø's experience, friends exchange texts and talk about things both mundane and deeper. Thanks to Kiki, Millie and the other girls, he now knows that friends can also do each other's makeup and cuddle in a non-sexual way, and that's pretty awesome. In fact, he wonders if this isn't one of the reasons he tried for so long to sleep with M&M: fear of wanting that kind of intimacy. The kind of intimacy he didn't think he deserved, back then, and sometimes finds hard to believe himself worthy of, even today.

What friends don't do is flirt. Kiss. Touch each other in a way that reduces them to a moaning mess. And that's exactly what Blitzø fears he'll try to do if he contacts Stolas now. He doesn't even know which would be worse: Stolas pushing him away... or Stolas letting him do whatever he wants. In the first case, it would put a serious damper on their relationship, and probably prevent them from being comfortable with each other for a very long time. But in the second... it would take them right back to the toxic non-relationship they'd had before, and Stolas would certainly regret it. Or worse, resent him for it. And that's the last thing he wants.

So Blitzø will wait until he's sure he's not going to hit on the bird... or until Stolas considers that they're ready to talk or see each other again.

All his friends tried to talk to him about the situation (probably because you'd have to be both stupid and blind not to realize how frustrating it all is for him), but Millie and Fizz where by far the more direct about it.

(He should probably arrange a friendly playdate between those two: something tells him that his old and new best friends would get on like a house on fire.)

The only one who hasn't tried to talk to him, and has even avoided any serious subject, come to think of it, is Kiki. She's been unusually quiet these past two weeks, Blitzø realizes, and he should really take the time to have a face-to-face chat with her. If she's worried, sad or stressed, he should be there for her. Besides, it's bound to be bad for Bean... and he's going to be his Helluncle. Making sure nothing happens to the little thing is his most sacred duty…

He opens his phone to send her a text, proposing to meet at their usual lunch spot, when he realizes that Stolas has tried to call him three times in the last couple of minutes. He'd had meetings with clients all morning, and usually put his phone on silent during these. His heart suddenly beating much faster, he's about to call the bird back when his office door slams open and Loony appears, eyes wide with shock.

« Stolas just called. Vanny's in hospital. They're extracting the egg. »

Notes:

I love those boys to death. But they frustrate me SO MUCH...
One day, I'm going to have a kiss between them, I swear...

Chapter 36: The incubator

Summary:

The egg has hatched… and it’s not exactly what Blitzø expected.

Notes:

As several people seemed to be a bit worried about the egg/Vanny, I'm happy I managed to finished ANOTHER chapter yesterday evening. Which means I wrote four of them over the weekend... Alas, now, you'll have to wait a bit longer, I'm afraid.
I entirely blame Stolitz, btw, because it’s so pleasant to watch them interact with each other in a non-confrontational way, even when they’re walking on eggshell because they’re so scared to do something wrong.
I hope you’ll like it!

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

At first, Blitzø wonders why the nurse has led him to this big, ugly bug, with pale red skin, gigantic, bulging eyes (thankfully closed for the time being), and tiny black, white-rimmed horns.
It's when he notices the few dark chocolate-brown feathers protruding from the little bug's head that he finally understands this… thing is actually Vanny's baby. Sunny-side-up. More like Hide-that-down, to be honest.

Blitzø really hopes that Vanny won't ask him what he thinks of her baby, as he's not sure he can lie convincingly. He doesn't want to hurt her feelings, but poor Sunny must be the ugliest newborn ever. Blitzø is even considering that this could be why Goetia breed amongst themselves, to avoid this kind of abomination.

« It's okay, kiddo », he murmurs, placing his hand on the glass panel that separates him from the little nightmare. « I promise I'll do my best to help you develop a great personality. And I'll kick the asses of anyone who dares call you ugly... myself included. »

The little nightmare doesn't move and Blitzø starts to get a bit worried, so he watches it like warming milk until he sees the scarf wrapped all around it slightly move to the rhythm of its breathing.

A gentle hand rests on his shoulder and he instantly relaxes. He's not at all surprised to hear Stolas' voice, full of awe:

« She reminds me so much of Via… »

The declaration is so ludicrous that Blitzø looks up warily, to check if Stolas is actually making fun of him. But the bird's gaze is fixed on the baby, and his expression shows nothing but tenderness and awe.

« So... is it normal for him to be like that? » he asks, hesitantly.

A small laugh escapes from Stolas' beak.

« Actually, she's much prettier than I was at her age. I must have been the ugliest infant in Hell. »

« I don't believe you », replies Blitzø. « I’m sure you were adorably cute. »

Stolas blushes and Blitzø curses himself inwardly. For Satan's sake, he'd better keep it in his pants. No way he'd sexually harass the poor guy in a hospital... or anywhere else, for that matter!

« I assure you that wasn't the case. But if you don't believe me, feel free to come and see the portrait of me as a hatchling, hanging in the great hall of the west wing… »

This time, it's Blitzø's turn to blush. Which is stupid. Stolas didn't invite him home to show him his baby pictures. He just said that to make a point. It doesn't mean a thing...

Then something clicks inside his head.

« Hey... did you just say 'her’? »

« Pardon me? » asks Stolas, with a puzzled frown.

« The baby », explains Blitzø, pointing to the little nightmare. « You said 'her’, right? »

« Ah », says Stolas, as understanding dawns on his face. « Yes, it turns out it's a girl. »

« I thought the doctor said… »

« Predicting the sex of a baby Goetia... or half-Goetia, for that matter, from the size and shape of the egg is hazardous, to say the least. But I didn't want to upset Vanny, so I didn't tell her. »

« How is she? »

Blitzø rushed to Sloth the moment he received Stolas' call. M&M promised to take care of the two last meetings of the day and, as Loony was due to meet Gil for lunch, she said she'd call him as soon as they were ready to be portaled.

But when he got to the hospital reception, the nurse on duty (who was much nicer than the one they'd met on their first visit, though he isn't sure if that's because she's a better person or if the word got out about Stolas’ intervention the first time) just brought him here and went away before he could ask anything.

« She's resting. I understand the operation wasn't easy. The egg had started to crack inside and she lost a lot of blood... don’t worry, she'll be fine », Stolas quickly adds, no doubt because Blitzø's expression shows his concern. « She'll have to stay in hospital for a few more days and, as soon as she's ready to be moved, we'll transport her and the baby to my estate. Via and I agreed that she would need constant help for the first couple of weeks, and between her work and her classes, Via doesn't have the time. »

Blitzø nods.

« Where's Octavia? »

« With Vanny, in the recovery room. She didn't want to leave her alone, especially with the baby in the incubator. »

Now that he's pointed it out to Blitzø, the imp notices that the little nightmare has been placed in a kind of cocoon lit by bright blue neon lights.

« What's that for? »

« She hatched a little too early. She'll have to stay in the incubator until the doctor feels she's healthy enough to be out in the open. »

Blitzø's heart squeezes painfully.

« Wait... does this mean that Vanny can't even hold her baby in her arms? And that poor little nightmare won't be held for days, weeks even? »

Just imagining the twins in this awful incubator makes him feel like hyperventilating.

Stolas leans over to take Blitzø's face in his hands and gently strokes his insignia, and the gesture is so unexpected that the imp exhales as most of his stress evaporates.

« No. Vanny will be able to hold her for short periods, but she'll have to be very careful. The baby will be fine, darling. They'll both be fine. »

Blitzø can't help but rub his cheek against Stolas' hand. He's too busy restraining himself from rising on the tips of his hooves to bridge the gap between them and kiss him on the beak.

Stolas doesn’t seem to mind the cheek-rubbing and smiles fondly at him.

They stay like this for a long time, which should be uncomfortable but isn't at all, then Stolas straightens up, still smiling at Blitzø. The imp returns his smile, despite feeling bereft of his warmth.

« Would you like to have tea with me, dearest? » Stolas asks. « Or... coffee, I suppose. I know how you feel about tea. »

His knowing little smile is so cute that it takes Blitzø’s breath away. He's slow to react, to the point that Stolas gives him a worried look.

« Blitzy... Blitzø, are you all right? »

« Ah. Uh… »

Blitzø clears his throat, feeling like an absolute moron.

« I'm okay. Sure. I mean, yes, I really need a coffee right now. »

A few minutes later, they're both sitting in the cafeteria, a plastic cup containing a hot drink in front of each of them. The coffee doesn't look very appealing, but since Stolas has paid an outrageous sum for it, Blitzø takes a sip anyway.

Unfortunately, it tastes even worse than it looks. He nearly spits it out.

« I hope your tea is better because this... this is an insult to coffee », he declares with a frown.

Stolas raises the cup to his beak and his amused smile immediately turns into a grimace of disgust.

« That bad, huh? » Blitzø asks with a smirk.

« Worse », admits Stolas, pushing his cup away.

« Our coffee shop is much better than this crap, right? »

Stolas' white pupils appear and he casts a puzzled glance at Blitzø. Then a small smile plays on his beak as he says:

« Yes, our coffee shop is much better. Perhaps we could go for a drink and a pastry later? After making sure dear Vanny is feeling better, of course. »

Blitzø blinks several times in silence. Since he doesn't trust himself not to say something immeasurably stupid right now, he just nods. Stolas gives him a beaming smile.

Despite the fact that Blitzø does his best to remind himself that this is just an outing with a friend, not a fucking date, the cluster of fire dragonflies in his stomach clearly didn't get the memo.

« And how did your meetings go this morning, darling? Did you get any interesting new contracts? »

Ten minutes later, Blitzø is describing his encounter with a bride who died of shrimp poisoning just before her wedding and holds her bridesmaids responsible (resulting in her paying extra to have them executed in the most gruesome way possible) to a delighted-looking Stolas, when a Slothian male orderly approaches their table.

« Excuse me for disturbing you, Your Highness, but your daughter has requested your presence in the room with the... the lady imp... who… has just had an egg. »

Clearly, he's not very comfortable with the situation. Stolas gives him a regal nod and a benevolent smile.

« Very well. I’ll be on my way. »

« You… You tell Vanny I hope she's all right, okay? » says Blitzø, trying not to show too much disappointment.

This isn't about him. The poor girl has just been through a really traumatic experience. If Stolas' presence can soothe her, of course he should go and see her. He'll certainly be better company than Blitzø. Besides, he has experience with Goetia eggs, so it makes sense...

« Darling, surely you're coming with me? » replies Stolas, frowning.

Blitzø opens his mouth to answer, even though he's not entirely sure what he's about to say.

« Are you, by any chance, Mr. Buckzo? » asks the orderly.

« I… uh... yeah, that's me. »

« The princess asked that you be brought to the room as soon as you arrived at the hospital. Apparently, the imp lady insisted that you be there. »

The cluster of fire dragonflies swirls in Blitzø's stomach again, this time for an entirely different reason. But he's quick to follow the orderly and Stolas through half a dozen corridors and three different staircases, until they finally arrive in Vanny's room. The imp is pale and looks exhausted, with dark circles under her eyes, but her smile is heartfelt when she sees them.

« Blitzø... I wanted you to be the second person to take her in your arms », she says, pointing to the horrible incubator that has been brought into the room and placed right next to her bed. « Via was the first, of course. »

Blitzø frowns in incomprehension.

« But what about… »

« Vanny can't sit up yet because of the C-section », Via explains with a wince. « So she can't hold Sepphie in her arms, yet. »

« Oh Vanny, I'm so sorry », Blitzø whispers, tears in his eyes.

« It's all right... Via held her close to me, so I could look at her properly and caress her face. Isn’t she the most beautiful baby ever? »

Blitzø nearly chokes on this one. He imagines it's a good thing that the young mother can see her baby through the rose-tinted glasses of love, but it seems a bit over the top. He manages not to show his dismay and heads for the bed, where Octavia helps him into plastic coveralls, too big for him except for the hood, which can't contain his horns. Then the princess opens the incubator so he can take the baby in his arms.

She's even uglier up close, but once again, he manages not to express it out loud.

« Blitzø, this is my daughter, Persephone. Sepphie, this is your Uncle Blitzø. He's going to play an important role in your life, just like your Auntie Via », says Vanny with a tender smile.

« Hello little nightmare », Blitzø murmurs, carefully stroking the baby's soft cheek.

It's been months since he first saw the twins, but it seems to him that this baby is even smaller than they were. Yet, if his memories are correct, when he and Stolas were children, the bird was the smaller of the two. And even for an imp, Vanny is really short. So it makes sense, in a way.

« Stolas, do you want to hold her too? » the young mother says, with the same gentle smile.

« Oh... Um... Of course, I'd love to », replies the bird, blushing slightly.

Wordlessly, Via fetches another coverall for him. When he's done, Blitzø gently transfers the baby into his arms. But the moment Stolas touches her, they're both surrounded by some magical purple light.

« What's going on? » Blitzø asks, frowning.

« Oh dear… » mumbles Stolas, his eyes wide and his pupils visible. « This is totally unexpected. It looks like she has magic. »

« You didn't think she'd have any? » Blitzø retorts, frowning.

He tries not to take offense at the bird’s astonishment. After all, it makes sense, since imps don't really have magic, anyway. Apart from a faint ability to manipulate fire, for some of them.

« No, you don't understand, Blitzø. She has the same magic as me. Which means she should also be an heir to our father's power… »

Notes:

For once, I was inspired by two anecdotes from my own life.

When my eldest niece was born, my sister had just had a C-section and couldn't hold her, so I got to give her the second bottle of her life. That was 16 years ago and I still remember it.
Also, when her daughter was born, my former sister-in-law told me, in all seriousness: «It's not because she's mine, but she's the most beautiful baby in the world.» She really wasn’t, but I have to confess that I’m biased. To me, almost all newborns look like crumpled little mummies...
So... now you know where it comes from 😁 (Also, have you seen what Stolas looked like as a newborn? Clearly, the cuteness came later…)

And yes, I always intended to make Persephone a girl and give her magic. I'm evil that way (plus Stolas needed a bit more incentive to confront Paimon... but it's going to wait a bit.)

Next time, another interlude with what Stolas thinks about their newfound friendship…

Chapter 37: Interlude 3: The prince who knows what he wants

Summary:

Stolas' life would be perfect if it weren't for two major obstacles...

Notes:

Was I writing this f*** chapter instead of, you know, sleeping?
You have no proof!

Thanks for your comments. I had no idea so many people thought newborns are ugly… 🤭

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

For a week now, Stolas has been busy preparing the apartments for Vanny and Persephone. He wants everything to be perfect, not only because the baby is his half-sister, but also because Vanny is obviously important to Via and Blitzy. Therefore she's important to him as well.

So he made several trips to the hospital to bring the young female imp tastier food, some of his favorite romance novels and various gifts for the baby. Persephone, or Sepphie as her mother calls her, is still too young to enjoy them, especially as she's not yet out of her incubator. But Stolas can see that the tiny clothes, plushes and toys put a smile on Vanny’s face. So he sends his factotum to raid Pride's children's stores and happily pays the bills.

And... he takes the opportunity to buy a few things for Blitzy's nephew and niece as well. Stolas would love to shower his beloved with gifts, but he fears this would be crossing some unspoken line. However, even the most stickler for the rules wouldn't blame him for sending gifts to a dear friend's young children. What's more, he sees Blitzø in the twins, and knows all the joy they bring to his dearest imp, which makes him happy in turn.

Another unexpected perk of this situation is that it brought him and Via much closer. His owlette was so determined to help her friend in any way she could that Stolas suggested they furnish the baby's room together. As Via declared herself delighted by the idea, they spent countless hours painting the walls, building the furniture and putting every little object in its place. To be honest, neither of them was really equipped to carry out most of these tasks, but Mister Pringles was a great help. Stolas told him he didn't need to do it, as it wasn't part of his duties, but the butler insisted. He explained it would be good practice for the birth of his own child. The prince was so grateful that he secretly ordered the complete renovation of the old servants' quarters, so that Mr. Pringles would have a larger space, his own kitchenette and a separate room for his unborn child.

After discussing the matter with Via and Mr. Pringles, Stolas decided to tell Verosika that he had met Kiki and that she was doing well. He knows how worried his succubus friend was about the fate of her former employee. However, he hasn't told her where Kiki is, both because he feels it's not his place to do so and because Blitzy is still a sore point for Verosika. From what Stolas understood, his beloved apologized during the party, which partly appeased Verosika's resentment, but it didn't remove years of bitterness on both sides. The pretty succubus certainly wouldn't take kindly to Blitzy and Kiki's new friendship.

On the whole, Stolas is quite satisfied with the turn of events, with two major exceptions. The first is his father. Stolas knows he'll have to talk to Paimon, sooner or later. Not only will Vanny need alimony, but the baby is gifted with strong magic, which means fate has chosen her to carry out sacred Goetic tasks. Stolas is determined to protect baby Sepphie from his own fate. The last thing he wants is for her to be separated from her mother at a very young age and have her whole life decided by others, but Sepphie's powers will have to be trained and harnessed at some point. Unfortunately, Paimon is the only one who can tell them what they will be used for. The prince already senses that the meeting will be very unpleasant. However, he prefers to wait until the new mother has recovered and the baby is in better health before taking the plunge.

The other pressing problem, the one that keeps him awake at night, is that he still doesn't know where he and Blitzy stand. Well… he likes to think of them as friends, and is surprised at how much he enjoys discovering his beloved's more playful, carefree side. It reminds him of that charming young imp he spent a delightful afternoon with all those years ago.

But despite the pleasure he gets from simply discussing their days and interests without pressure or expectation, he can't help but yearn for more. He knows he should just tell Blitzy how he feels, because experience has taught him that he needs to be as clear and direct as possible with his dearest imp.

And therein lies the problem. For although he misses their passionate full-moon romps and being tied to the bed while Blitzy has his way with him, his fantasies have recently taken a much sweeter turn. Stolas dreams of making love with his dearest imp, of gentle caresses, of hands entwined, of gazing into his darling's stunning golden eyes as they both reach the pinnacle of pleasure.

And he's terrified of how his beloved would react to such fantasies. For nothing in their previous encounters has given him the impression that his Blitzy would be interested in this. The fact is, Stolas could perfectly well do without gentle lovemaking and settle for passionate fornication instead. He could live with being called a good little slut and never hearing the three words he wishes with all his being to hear Blitzy say.

What Stolas can't live without, however, is feelings. And he'd rather remain Blitzy's friend than jeopardize their relationship again because he selfishly wants more than his darling imp is willing, or even able, to give him. Not to mention that right now, he doesn't even know if Blitzy would want to sleep with him.

So Stolas keeps watching every little change in his handsome, expressive face, analyzing each and every word that comes out of his mouth, hoping for a sign, any sign, that he might get another chance. At times, he's almost certain he can read in Blitzy's eyes the same hope and hunger he feels. At others, however, he has the strong impression that his beloved is perfectly content to just be his friend.

At a loss, he decides to invite Angie to tea on Friday. Since the sinner is far more experienced in this area than he is, Stolas thinks he'll have a few insights to share with him. But just as he's finished explaining his dilemma, Angie bursts out laughing.

« Oh, Feathers », he says with a big grin, a little mocking, but not malicious, « that's not how it works. There's no cheat sheet, no magic trick that guarantees your happiness. At some point, you just have to ask yourself if the risk is greater or lesser than the goal. »

« I don't know! » exclaims Stolas, shoulders slumping. « I love him so much, but I lost him once, and I'd rather have him halfway in my life than not at all. »

« Seems to me you've got your answer, right there », retorts the sinner, patting his hand. « It may not be the one you want, but it's crystal clear. »

Stolas nods silently, trying not to let his disappointment show.

« Er... Stolly? Question: the handsome imp in the corner wouldn't happen to be your Blitzy, by any chance? Because he's looking over here and doesn't seem happy at all… »

Stolas' heart leaps in his chest. He glances in the direction Angie has indicated, and there is his Blitzy, sitting with Loona, Mildred, Moxxie, and Kiki. The imp’s gorgeous eyes are fixed on them and he doesn't look very happy indeed. Stolas wonders if it's because he's invited another friend into ‘their’ coffee shop. But surely if Blitzy himself is here with his own friends and daughter, then Stolas can bring others? He's not quite sure what the etiquette is regarding friendship with former lovers, but he's convinced that there are no such things as exclusivity when it comes to drinking tea.

And yet, he feels guilty. For his presence here is far from innocuous. He hasn't seen his Blitzy or heard his voice since they were together at the hospital, and knowing his beloved has a soft spot for this coffee shop, he figured the chances of running into him ‘by chance’ were far greater than anywhere else. So he made it their rendezvous point, despite the place being extremely impractical, as it's dozens of miles from Pentagram City, where Angie lives, and from the part of Pride where his own estate is located.

He nonetheless gives his darling imp an awkward little wave and a slightly tense smile.

For a few horrifying seconds, he fears that his beloved will look away and pretend not to have seen him, but his Blitzy's expression softens and his grin makes Stolas' heart leap again.

Angie, who isn’t at all the subtle type, waves his arm wildly.

« Hey! » he shouts, so loudly that everyone in the coffee shop looks at them. « Impy! You and your friends wanna sit with us? »

Stolas puts both hands over his face, to hide his burning cheeks. Between his fingers, he can see both Angie's mischievous grin and Blitzy baring his teeth in a silent snarl. Yet, after exchanging a few words with his daughter and friends, the whole group comes to sit at their table. Stolas finds himself right next to his darling imp, and he can't help it: his whole body leans towards his Blitzy, as if the imp were the red pentagram of Pride and Stolas a flower in need of his light.

« Hiya Stolas », says Mildred, after a few seconds of silence. « Won’t you introduce us to your friend? »

« Of course. Pardon me. This is my friend Angie. Angie, this is Blitzzzz…ø, his daughter Loona, and his friends Mildred, Moxxie and Kiki. »

« Hello everyone » says Angie with a big smile and a wave to the group, even though his gaze remains fixed on the handsome imp.

« How do the two of you know each other? » asks the latter, crossing his arms defiantly.

Stolas is startled to realize that his darling imp knows exactly who his friend is... probably because he's seen some of his adult films. Does he find Angie attractive? Stolas may not be susceptible to the sinner's charms, but Angie is objectively good-looking and highly sought-after, from what he’s heard. Besides, Stolas knows better than anyone that his Blitzy has a thing for long legs...

« We're in the same book club », Angie replies, so naturally that, despite knowing it's a lie, Stolas could almost believe him.

« I see », replies Blitzø, who looks even more upset, for some unknown reason.

« Are you all right, darling? » asks Stolas, a little worried for him.

Four pairs of surprised (Kiki, Moxxie) or suspicious (the other two) eyes turn towards him and he realizes that once again the endearment has escaped him. Luckily, Blitzø doesn't seem to have noticed, as he's still glaring at Angie, who doesn't seem to mind in the least. On the contrary, he winks unabashedly at the imp.

Stolas is suddenly worried that the discussion is going to turn sour but, fortunately, Mildred intervenes to bring it back to a more neutral topic. Moxxie bounces off what his wife has just said and the conversation continues relatively smoothly, with everyone taking part. And even if Blitzy only responds in monosyllables, at least he's not downright hostile. After about half an hour, Millie and Moxxie are the first to leave. Then Kiki, who utters a 'good luck' that Stolas isn't sure is meant for Blitzy or for him. A few minutes later, Loona declares that she's leaving too, and Stolas assumes that his darling imp will accompany his daughter, but he simply says:

« Will you come home tonight? »

« Er... I promised Gil I'd go with her to see Vanny, but I won't be late. »

« Good. I'll get dinner ready for both of us, then. »

« Sure, Dad », the hellhound replies with a shrug, though she leans in to kiss Blitzy on the cheek, causing an adorable blush to spread across his face.

But when Loona raises her head, she looks Stolas straight in the eye and he can read a thinly veiled threat on her face. It makes sense, because the last time the two of them spoke (or, more accurately, she told him some hard truth) she'd made it clear how angry she was at him for the way he'd treated her father. And even if all the accusations she threw at him back then weren't justified, Stolas knows he has a lot to answer for. What's more, Loona is his Blitzy's beloved daughter, the most important person in his life, and while the prince doesn't think his beloved would stop being his friend if she didn't approve of the relationship, he has no doubt that it could be a problem in the long run. More than that, he wants her to like him. He wants to promise her that he'll do everything he can to never hurt her father again, but Loona strikes him as someone who values actions over words, so he'll just have to prove himself to her.

« I’m going too », Angie announces as he gets up. « Otherwise, Charlie's going to wonder where I've been... Impy, it was so nice to meet you. You don't disappoint. »

Blitzy replies through clenched teeth and, although he can't make out his words, Stolas is fairly certain it's not very nice. Then Angie takes him in his arms and hugs him affectionately, before whispering in his ear:

« For the record, that's not the attitude of someone who just wants to be your friend. It's the attitude of someone who's wondering how to get rid of my corpse because I'm a bit too affectionate with you for his taste… »

Stolas can't help glancing at his beloved, who's watching the sinner with narrowed eyes. He can't be jealous, surely? Not only is Stolas not attracted to Angie at all, he's so in love with his Blitzy that he wouldn't even look at him if he were.

And yet, he can't help but feel a little thrill of pleasure at the idea that his darling imp might care more than he lets on.

They spend over an hour, just the two of them, talking about anything and everything. Stolas would be happy to stay with him for the rest of the evening, but Blitzy gives him an apologetic smile.

« I’ve got to go. I've got to pick up the twins from Mrs. K.’s »

« Oh, of course, darling. Can I... can I walk you home? »

He has no idea how far they are from Blitzy's place, or even if he came on foot. For all Stolas knows, he used a portal, or his van, to get to the coffee shop. But he gives him a mischievous grin.

« Sure, pretty bird. That way, you'll know where I actually live. I moved out of my old apartment a while ago, you see. »

Stolas tries not to show too much pleasure at the lovely nickname.

They stroll leisurely through the streets of Imp City, discussing the improvements Stolas has made to Vanny and little Sepphie's apartments. It seems only a few minutes have passed when they arrive at a large, relatively well-preserved building.

« Here we are. I'd invite you in, but I have to go pick up the twins and then make dinner for Loony. »

« Of course, darling, I understand. »

« So... Good night, then », says Blitzø and his golden gaze settles on Stolas.

« Good night. »

Angie's words come back to him and Stolas realizes he can't go on like this. He has to take a leap of faith. Either Blitzy will catch him this time, or he won't, and Stolas just has to hope they can bounce back from there.

« Blitzy? » he says, with a sudden lump in his throat.

« Yeah? »

« Can I kiss you? »

Notes:

FINALLY!!!!
I really feared they were going to shy away once again, but I could count on Stolas!
Let’s just hope Blitzy will be amenable…

Chapter 38: The kiss

Summary:

This changes everything…

Notes:

I’d like to point out that I asked a friend if she’d wanted to murder an author who would end a chapter on that particular question and he response was «Yes! But in the good way.» As the alternative was to have Blitzø’s response right away, she’s the one you have to blame 😅

To be honest, writing this particular chapter (especially the first scene) took me forever and felt like pulling out teeth. So be indulgent and, if you like it, please tell me. I really need the reassurance.

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

« Blitzy? » Stolas asks, and suddenly he looks so lost that Blitzø wants to take his hand and tell him everything's going to be alright, even though he hasn't the faintest clue why the bird is worried.

« Yeah? » he replies, trying to convey the emotion through his eyes.

« Can I kiss you? »

It's like an anvil to the head, a blow to the gut and a bolt of lightning throughout his entire body, all at once. Blitzø is so stunned that he freezes in place and doesn't react for a few long seconds, which turns Stolas' expression from concern to fear. The bird is in the process of opening his beak to speak when a small, needy moan suddenly escapes Blitzø's mouth.

« Fuck, yes », he whispers in a breathless voice he barely recognizes. « Please. »

Stolas falls to his knees in front of Blitzø, who throws himself at him. The bird takes the imp in his arms and they start making out like horny teenagers, Blitzø trying to reach every part of Stolas he can, carding his hands into the fluffy chest feathers he loves so much. To tell the truth, it's pretty messy. More than once, Blitzø hits Stolas' beak with his teeth, and the bird clutches at the spikes on his back in an almost painful way. But he also makes little hooting sounds of pleasure, and Blitzø wouldn't change a thing.

It's the most perfect kiss ever.

I love you, his heart sings. I love you so much. Please love me back. Keep me, I'm yours.

It's probably a good thing that Stolas' beak prevents him from expressing these feelings out loud. He doesn't want to frighten the bird with the intensity of his own emotions. Nothing's changed.

(Yeah, no, that's not true: everything has changed, actually. But now the stakes are even higher. Because Blitzø has a lot more to lose if he screws up.

That's why he makes the kiss go softer, delicately stroking Stolas' face with his fingertips, pressing soft, open-mouthed kisses on his beak. Stolas' dejected whimper almost makes him lose control, but he soldiers on, kissing his cheeks, his forehead, his eyelids, before finally pulling back.

« Pretty bird », he simply says, even though, in the secret of his mind, he adds a very dangerous ‘my’.

Stolas stands still for a few more seconds, before slowly opening his eyes. And this time, it's no light effect: his white pupils have for sure taken on the shape of little hearts. This, coupled with the dazed expression on his face, makes Blitzø's heart swell with something halfway between wonder and pride.

« I… uh... thank you Blitzy... Blitzø », corrects Stolas sheepishly.

Blitzø is tempted to tell the bird that he can call him whatever he likes, even that stupid nickname... especially as, when Stolas utters it in that hoarse, dazed voice, it does things to his body. Things that are very familiar, yet completely new at the same time. But even though he desires the bird so much right now it's bordering on painful, there’s so much more Blitzø wants from him. Never again will he be an obedient little whore. He wants something real. Something his. Mind-blowing kinky sex, yes, but also sweeter, more tender moments. He wants to be able to ask Stolas to top for him. Which he's never wanted with anyone else. So he has to be very careful, or the whole thing will blow up in his face.

He shakes his head, chuckles and teasingly replies:

« Pretty sure I'm the one who should be thanking you, birdie. »

The remark makes Stolas blush, and he stands up. His long, magnificent legs (which Blitzø does his best not to imagine wrapped around him) wobble a little, and the imp would like to believe it's him who's having that effect, but it's probably just the fact that Stolas has been kneeling on the hard, uneven pavement for so long.

« I… er... really must go », he says, hoping his tone and expression convey that he has no desire to.

Stolas is obviously doing his best to look understanding. He’s not very good at pretending, though.

« Of course, darling. Your children are the most important », he said unconvincingly.

« But I... uh... would you like to come to my apartment for dinner? Sometime this week? »

Blitzø tries to play it cool, not to show how eager he is.

(He probably fails spectacularly, because he can feel the stupid, dopey grin that seems to have settled permanently on his face.)

Stolas' disappointed expression gives way to a bright smile.

« Actually, we never managed to reschedule that picnic. So I’d like to take you out if… if you're still up for it, of course », he adds, blushing.

« With you, I'd go anywhere » Blitzø hears himself say, and he immediately feels like hiding his face to conceal his burning cheeks.

He's behaving like a complete simp. Maybe even worse than Moxxie and Fizzies combined. He just hopes neither of them ever hears about it.

As for Stolas, he seems delighted. He leans over once more to give Blitzø a quick peck on the lips before summoning a portal to his palace.

« See you soon, Blitzø », he says with a playful wave.

Then he crosses over and the purple magic disappears, leaving Blitzø alone in the street. The imp feels his heart beating incredibly fast in his chest and his breath comes in short gasps, as if he'd just run all the way from Pentagram City. He grabs his own horns, throws his head back and screams:

« Fuuuuuuuuck!!! » at the top of his lungs.

Then he freezes again, because the last thing he needs is for Mrs. K to appear at her window and address him with a ‘language, dear’ full of unspoken reproach. After a few seconds, when she hasn't shown up, he lets himself breathe and rushes up the porch stairs, his mind reeling, but with a liveliness of step he hasn't had in a very long time.
When he knocks on Mrs. K's door, it's Kiki who opens it. And although this had been happening regularly since the succubus started living with the old bat, he'd never seen her in such a state. Her face is pale, her eyes red and swollen. She’s obviously been crying. Blitzø feels a painful squeeze in his chest.

« Who do I have to kill? » he asks with a narrowed gaze, at the same time as she exclaims, her eyes rounding:

« You had sex! »

« No, I didn’t! It was just a kiss! » Blitzø protests, though it's an outright lie, because it was so much more... for him, anyway.

Once again, Kiki speaks along with him:

« What do you mean, kill? Why would you kill someone? »

Blitzø raises his hands. He's too tired and emotional to have two conversations at once. But first things first.

« Can I come in? »

« Of course. Sorry. The twins have been fed, bathed, and now they're asleep in Bean's crib. »

Dem, Mrs. K's hunky grandson, helped Blitzø build this one. It seems that whenever he’s had to build baby furniture lately, he's done it with a hot, muscular guy... or with Moxxie.

« Good. Where's the old bat? »

Kiki glares at him, but they both know that in his mouth, it's affectionate. Mrs. K is a badass, and Blitzø really doesn't know where he'd be without her help.

« Sienna and Gamiss invited her to a restaurant in town. »

Blitzø is pretty sure these two are among the countless single grandchildren Mrs. K almost routinely throws at him, but aside from Dem and his cousin Nealia, who has several piercings, kick-ass blue and purple hair and the same dirty sense of humor as Blitzø, they all blend together in his mind.

« Did I miss something? It wasn’t her birthday, right? »

« No, don’t worry. It’s in two months. I think they just had a big contract and wanted to celebrate with her. »

« Ah. Okay. Let's go into the kitchen, then. »

« Why? » asks Kiki, crossing her arms suspiciously.

« Because we're about to have a difficult discussion and it'll go much better with hot chocolate. »

Kiki seems about to protest, but her shoulders slump in defeat and she sighs.

« Okay, but you're the one doing it. I've been banned from the kitchen. »

Blitzø isn't surprised. Kiki's as bad as Millie in that area. The only one worse than them is Fizz. The guy's an absolute menace to kitchen appliances and should be banned from coming within ten feet of them... a fact that Asmodeus himself seems to agree with.

A few minutes later, Blitzø lets Kiki bring the two mugs of chocolate into the living room and goes to check on the twins. They're snuggled up together in a tangle of limbs and tails. Pepper has drooled all over her brother, who is currently replacing her favorite hell piglet plushie (the one Stolas gave her), while Lobster holds her in a death grip. And yet, they smile peacefully in their sleep. Blitzø feels something incredibly tender fluttering in his chest, not unlike what he felt after kissing Stolas.

Love.

Either way, it's dangerous and likely to lead to heartbreak. One kiss doesn't magically erase all of Stolas' and his complicated past. There are so many ways it could go wrong, so many risks of falling back into their old toxic patterns. As for the twins, they may feel like his, but they're still Barbie's. And he knows, deep down, that she'll eventually come back for them. As she should. Which will destroy him a little.

And yet...

For the first time in his life, Blitzo’s not going to run away. He loves Stolas, he loves the twins and he's going to give them everything he's got, for as long as he's allowed. Because if he's going to end up heartbroken, at least he'll enjoy and cherish all those precious little moments.

He leans over the crib and gently brushes Lobster's downy hair away from his forehead, before kissing him there, inhaling his sweet baby smell. When he does the same with Pepper, she opens her eyes and stares at him, her silver gaze plunging into her uncle's golden one.

« Hey, baby girl », he murmurs tenderly.

« Biss? » she says, before yawning.

« I’m here. I’ll always be here for you and your brother. Now go back to sleep, little one. »

She looks at him for a few more seconds and smiles, her little hand reaching for his. He takes it in his much larger one and holds it until Pepper closes her eyes and her calm, peaceful breathing tells him she's asleep again.

Then he returns to the living room. He has a friend to help.

Notes:

Little tidbit of info about myself: I have a large collection of geeky mugs, an impressive amount of which are HB-themed, but I forbade myself to use any of the Stolitz ones until these two somehow got together. So… this morning, I got to drink a hot chocolate into this one… and it tasted delicious… 😊

The story is not finished yet, far from it, but I need a bit of a break, right now (and I really hope my Muse will get the memo this time). I have to work on other things, despite not wanting too.
So, see you soon, people!

Chapter 39: The trade

Summary:

Kiki and Blitzø have a lot of things to discuss.
To bad neither of them is really willing to talk…

Notes:

It turned a bit more emotional that I envisioned... and not necessarily for the right reasons.
I hope you'll like it!

(Thanks for your comments. I love to read them! 🩷)

Chapter Text

Kiki is sitting at the dinner table, stirring the spoon in her cup of hot chocolate, gazing into the distance. Blitzø pulls out a high stool next to her chair, climbs onto it and holds his own cup between his hands. He's not usually the type to drink hot chocolate, except when he's very nervous and coffee would be counterproductive. But right now, the heightened emotions of the day are getting to him and he needs something to hold, otherwise his hands will start shaking...

« So, about you and the Prince… » says Kiki, not looking at him.

« Nope, we’re not doing that », retorts Blitzø. « First, you tell me why you've been crying, and then I'll tell you what you want to know. »

« I’ve got another idea », retorts Kiki. « You tell me what happened with your Prince and then I'll tell you what you want to know. »

Blitzø is a little relieved to see a small smile playing on her lips and the color returning to her cheeks.

But not enough to give in.

« Counter-offer », he says instead. « Each of us can ask a question in turn. »

« Deal », Kiki replies, holding out her hand.

Blitzø shakes it and says:

« Since I proposed the deal, I'll go first. Why were you crying? »

Kiki lets out a deep sigh.

« Verosika has a new bass player and Pringles is looking for baby names. »

Blitzø stares at her in silence, waiting for her to elaborate on the answer.

She doesn't.

« What did you do with him if you didn't sleep with him? » she asks instead.

« Just a kiss… » answers Blitzø, unable to stop himself from blushing.

« It must have been one Hell of a kiss, », retorts Kiki with a knowing smile. « You broadcast like VoxNet’s Tower… »

« Broadcast what? »

She shrugs.

« We... I mean succubi and incubi can sense the sexual energy emanating from individuals. We can... feed off it, in a way, although that's not exactly the right word. Let's just say that when someone has great sex next to us, we thrive. Even more so when it's with us. »

« Really? »
Blitzø didn't know that was possible. During his affair with Verosika, she had certainly never mentioned it to him. But it would explain why she couldn't keep her hands off him, and when he told her to stop, she started to say that he was a selfish lover.

(Although the fact that he stole her car and credit card after she told him she loved him might have tipped the scales...)

« My turn… »

« Not so fast, hot stuff… You asked a question about the diffusion of sexual energy », she reminds him with a smirk.

Blitzø rolls his eyes, but beckons her to speak.

« Are you going to see him again? »

« Yeah… he asked me to go on a picnic with him. Don't say it! » he orders her, narrowing his eyes, but it's too late.

« I knew it was a date! » Kiki exclaims, delighted.

Blitzø rubs his face with both hands.

« It's not... I mean... I'm not sure that's the case. »

« He kissed you and asked you out. Wait... who actually kissed who? »

« My turn », Blitzø retorts with a shit-eating grin. « What's wrong with Pringles looking for names? I thought you agreed he should be involved in the baby stuff. »

He has considered stepping down from his role as a pregnancy companion, as it would make more sense for Bean's father to be involved in all the important steps. The little butler seems to want to be there for his baby, in any case. But if that's going to be a problem for Kiki, maybe Blitzø should wait until the future parents have sorted it out...

« I did... I mean, I do », corrects Kiki, although she's fidgeting with her spoon again. « But... the problem is that he found twelve boys‘ names and only three girls’. »

Blitzø's face must betray his puzzlement, because she rolls her eyes with a grunt of exasperation.

« Isn't it obvious? He wants a boy! »

Blitzø struggles to comprehend how she could make such a leap of logic. Chances are pregnancy hormones are at play here. Not that he's stupid or suicidal enough to tell her that.

« Maybe you shouldn't worry about that just yet? Who knows, you might have a boy. And even if… »

Kiki's face falls in front of his eyes and her eyes fill with tears again. Suddenly Blitzø feels like the biggest idiot in Hell.

« Bean's a girl », he says.

Kiki nods, sniffling a little.

« But Kiki, that's wonderful! Girls are the best! I mean, I love Lobster, you know I do, but Pepper and Bean are going to be best friends. And Bean will even get to wear her precious little clothes when Pepper outgrows them… »

Kiki's teary smile shows that she's not convinced.

« They’ll look out for each other, and for the little nightmare too », he adds.

« The little what? »

« Vanny's little beast », he says, before grimacing an apologetic smile. « Please don't tell her I said that, it would hurt her feelings. But come on, the poor thing looks awful. And not even in an ugly cute way. She's going to need Pepper and Bean to protect her from nasty comments. »

No matter how much Stolas says he was that ugly as a baby, Blitzø doesn't believe him. His bird... he means the bird is beautiful. Drop-dead gorgeous, in fact. And even when he was eleven, he was a cute ball of fluff. There's no way he could have ever looked like poor Persephone.

« Come one, she's not that ugly », replies Kiki, with an unconvinced pout.

Vanny proudly showed off the first photos of her little nightmare on the support group chat and all the other mums-to-be were generous in their comments, making abundant use of hyperbole and metaphor. Magda said baby Sepphie looked like a yummy little hell piglet in a blanket, which Vanny decided to take as a compliment.

(Blitzø isn't so sure, but if Vanny's happy, why burst her bubble?)

Blitzø raises a challenging eyebrow at Kiki, until she looks down in defeat.

« Okay, she's hideous! But Via told Loona, who told Mrs. K, who told me, that she was just as hideous as a baby, and you have to admit, she's adorable now. »

Blitzø is impressed by the Hellphone's efficiency in their little group. After all, maybe he should take Stolas at his word and check out his baby portraits in the palace. Blitzø still doesn't believe the pretty bird, but he's willing to check, at least. If his poor little nightmare of a Hellniece is going to end up with a hideous face, he'd better be prepared from the start. After all, looks aren't the only basis for attraction, thank fuck. Blitzø himself is covered in ugly-ass scars, and he's still managed to hook up with a few hotties.

(Even though there's only one he ever cared about, and he doesn't even know if they are okay with each other right now. But after that kiss, Blitzø is more aware than ever that if he makes one more mistake, he'll probably be alone forever. Well... maybe not alone. He'll have his daughter, his niece, his nephew and all the other Hellnieces and Hellnephews to look after. Which isn't so bad, actually.

And yet, he missed the pretty bird so much the first time around that he doesn't want to go through that again. But how can he make Stolas love him again? Or love him at all, for that matter. Blitzø is still not convinced that the bird ever loved him. Rather, it was an infatuation with the first good dick... or the first dick, period, he'd ever had. Blitzø's dick is good, he's not going to lie, but certainly not enough to make up for his lack of education and manners, not to mention his fucking temper. Even if he's doing his best to do better.

Not for the bird. For himself. But if it helps with the bird, he's certainly not going to complain.)

« Did you tell him? » he asks. « Pringles, I mean. For Bean? »

Kiki shakes her head, her expression miserable again.

« What if he's disappointed about having a daughter? »

Blitzø sighs.

« First of all, he's still got a few weeks to get used to the idea. »

« But what if… »

« And secondly, if he still doesn't want Bean, then he's an asshole and deserves neither of you. He should count himself lucky to have a beautiful baby girl with a gorgeous woman like you. And if he can't see that, then good riddance. You won't be alone, Kiki. Never again. You've got me, Mrs. K, and the girls. Whatever happens, we'll get through it. Together. »

He doesn't tell her that maybe it's just in her head and that Pringles will be overjoyed to have a little girl. Not only does he not know the other imp well enough to be sure if that’s the case, but it would imply that Kiki is the one with the problem and that she has simply overreacted. It wouldn't do any good.

She stares at him in silence for so long that Blitzø wonders if he's overstepped the mark, once again. And then she throws herself at him with such violence that he almost falls off his stool and hugs him fiercely, all the while sobbing loudly.

Blitzø really hopes it's the hormones again, because if not, he's the asshole this time. He wraps his tail around them both and gently strokes her back, until the sobs subside. In a way, it's not too different from the way he soothes Pepper when she cries, apart from the obvious size difference, of course.

(He keeps the observation to himself and his smile inside.)

« Now... what about Verosika's new bass player? » he says.

It's not that he wants to hurt her at all costs, but he feels it's best to rip the band-aid off in one fell swoop.

Kiki snorts and shakes her head.

« I’m pretty sure it's my turn. Why are you so opposed to a date with him? You like him, you like kissing him so much you're glowing with sexual energy like you've had a mind-blowing orgasm and he's clearly been trying to seduce you… »

« He's been what now? » Blitzø repeats, astonished.

After blinking a few times, Kiki chuckles.

« Oh, hot stuff, sometimes you're really lucky to be cute. »

« I’m certainly not! » Blitzø retorts, offended.

« Of course you are », she says, pinching his cheek. « And that Goetia hottie has been trying to seduce you for weeks. Honestly, he's doing so well that even Loona had to recognize it. But he hasn't exactly been subtle, you know. We still don't understand how you didn't notice. »

« He said he wanted us to be friends », Blitzø protests with a self-conscious grimace, before the rest of her sentence sinks into his brain. « What do you mean 'we’? »

This time, it's Kiki's turn to look embarrassed.

« Okay... don't be mad, but we had sort of a betting pool on how long it would take Prince McHotPants to get you into bed… »

« You did WHAT?? »

« Sorry... », she says with a wince. « But you see, Lavender aside, we're in a prolonged dry spell. So we have to live vicariously. »

Blitzø's mouth opens and closes a few times, before he grunts and rubs both eyes with his palms.

« Who is in on the bet? »

Kiki bites her lower lip.

« You're not going to like this… »

He's one hundred percent certain of that, actually.

« Please don't say my Loony. Or... Octavia doesn't know about this, at least? »

« Of course she does. She didn't participate, but she said it was time for both of you oldies to get your heads out of your asses. »

Blitzø doesn't know whether he's pleased or offended. A bit of both, probably.

« I thought she hated me. »

« Maybe she did at first. But she's seen how much you've been there for Vanny, for all of us in fact. And she realizes that the divorce was nobody's fault... except maybe her bitch of a mother… »

Since Blitzø agrees on this point, he can only nod.

« So... who? »

« You don't want to know, hot stuff. »

She's right. He doesn't want to know.

But he still needs to.

« Who? » he insists, narrowing his eyes.

« Well... uh... The whole support group apart from Via », she says, counting on her fingers, « Millie, Moxxie, Fizzarolli, Jesse, Mrs. K… and her grandchildren Dem and Nealia. »

« You were right. I didn't want to know », Blitzø growls, his tail swishing behind him.

« I’m sorry, hot stuff. Believe it or not, it's because we care. »

« Sure. You care whether or not the lowlife imp hooks up with the Royal », he says, not bothering to hide his bitterness.

« Okay, maybe not Mrs. K's grandkids. But the rest of us care if a man we all hold in high esteem finally allows himself to be happy with someone he really likes and who looks at him like he hung the red pentagram in the sky », she corrects, looking him straight in the eye.

Blitzø feels his cheeks flaming.

« I’m not… » he mutters, looking down, his tail swishing even faster.

« Not what? »

« Not worthy. He's a fucking Prince and I'm... well, look at me! »

« I’m looking at you, hot stuff. You're exceptionally handsome, you're smart, you're funny, you're probably the best father I've ever met, and you can try to hide your giant heart behind sarcasm all you want, but you're not fooling me anymore. Or any of us, for that matter. »

Blitzø's tail curls around his middle.

« But what if I'm not enough? » he murmurs in a voice so small it makes him ashamed.

« To paraphrase a wise man I love dearly, if that Goetia hottie doesn’t realize how lucky he, then he's an asshole and doesn't deserve you », retorts the succubus.

A tear rolls down Blitzø's cheek. Kiki puts an arm around his shoulders and places a kiss on his cheek.

« You're not alone, hot stuff. You'll never be alone again. That's a promise. »

Chapter 40: The kick

Summary:

Blitzø isn't sure he's ever been so nervous...

Notes:

Would you believe me if I told you that it's the second chapter in a row that was supposed to be called 'the picnic'? But those characters keep taking tengents and reinforcing their bonds instead.

Thanks for the comments (and kudos). I appreciate every one of them 🩷

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

This time, Blitzø doesn't even try to find a suitable outfit for the picnic by himself. He calls Kiki and Millie right away.

(Blitzø could have asked the others too, but he's still a bit upset about the betting thing. He also blames those two, to be honest, but he needs help, so he'll ignore it for now.

Worst of all, now that Blitzø is aware that most people he knows expect him to get some at the end of the evening... he can't stop thinking about it. Which in turn makes him even more nervous than before. It's almost as if he's getting ready for his first time. And not only is Blitzø not at all sure that it will end in sex, but his nervousness makes no sense. There's no part of him left untouched, for fuck's sake. And yet... This situation is completely different. For there are many things Blitzø misses about Stolas, but his long, graceful body covered in fluffy feathers is easily one of the three main ones. And thirsting for the bird would be the worst thing to do right now… )

« I think we've found the one », says Kiki with an approving smile, before checking with Millie.

« You'll knock him right out of his boots, B! » declares the latter, giving him a thumb's up.

« You want to bet on it? » Blitzø retorts snarkily.

Kiki must have told the others that she'd mentioned the bet to him, because Millie doesn't even blink at his jab. She simply sighs and says:

« We just wondered when you'd finally sleep with the guy you've been pining for for months. I really don’t see why you’re so upset about this. »

« I wasn't pining! » protests Blitzø, his cheeks on fire.

They both know that this is an absolute lie. And indeed, Millie's only response is to raise a doubtful eyebrow.

« I wasn’t », he insists, with even less conviction than before.

« Sure, B », Millie says, in a placating tone.

Blitzø glares at her, but knows better than to insist a third time.

He looks in the mirror. He’s wearing dove-gray jeans, an indigo short-sleeved button-down shirt, open over a t-shirt proclaiming ‘born to be bad’ that Blitzø bought at the very first concert he attended in Pride. Paired with a spiked bracelet and matching necklace, it gives off a certain bad-boy vibe.

The fact that some of the bird's favorite sex scenarios revolved around the blushing virgin demon being led astray by the bad-boy imp may have played a part in his decision to wear this particular outfit.

Not that Blitzø expects the evening to end in sex. In fact, he kind of hopes it won't. Not because everyone seems to expect it. (He’s contrary by nature, but not that much!) No, in fact, it’s because of something his therapist said the other day.

« If you do end up sleeping with him, make sure it’s for the right reasons. »

(And it's not like Blitzø told her he was planning to, or anything, he just complained about the bet. Which is a valid reason to be upset and doesn't make him a whiny bitch at all, no matter what stupid Fizzies and Moxxie said!)

His therapist asked Blitzø what he really wanted from Stolas. And it certainly looks like all those months of consultations have conditioned him, because he answered right away, with a sincerity that surprised him:

Something real. Love. A relationship. Maybe trying to bottom, for once. For Stolas. Only for him.

(Okay, Blitzø didn't really say the last part, because he's still trying to get his head around the idea that this is something he wants. But he almost did. So that totes counts...)

« Then maybe you should talk to him about it before you consider going any further… » she replied.

Blitzø hasn't stopped thinking about it since. That's probably why he's so nervous, in fact, even more so than knowing that his friend and family will be wondering if he and the bird..

The thing is, Blitzø is terrified of fucking everything up. Which, given his track record, is a perfectly valid fear. But if there's even the slightest chance of making this work, he has to take it. And there's no room for error. Not after what happened last time.

(At least, that's the theory. Because Blitzø is under no illusions: if Stolas were to suggest returning to his room, he's sure to lose his resolve and plunge into that birdpuss, like a Wrathian imp into a cool river after a long day's work... So Blitzø has to hope that everyone's wrong and that the bird doesn't want to take him to bed. Not yet, anyway. A picnic and a chat together would be a great way to spend the evening. Blitzø is used to blue balls. It sucks, but he's willing to put in the effort. Maybe all Stolas wants from him is sex. And if that's the case, he'll have to deal with it. But maybe, just maybe, the bird wants something more too.

Please, Satan, please make Stolas want something more from him than his dick!)

Suddenly, he begins to doubt his outfit. What if it’s sending the wrong message? What if the bird thinks Blitzø is trying to pressure him into sex?

« Are you sure it’s not too much? » he says, biting his lower lip.

Out of the corner of his eye, he sees Kiki and Millie exchange a glance.

« Why do you say that, B? » Millie asks, frowning.

« I don't want Stolas to think I'm trying to sleep with him », he admits half-heartedly.

« You don’t? »

Kiki's surprise is palpable. She exchanges another look with Millie, less discreet this time.

« Why not? » the latter asks.

Blitzø rubs his face with both hands. Part of him is ashamed to admit his reasons. But it's not by chance that he picked these two to help him select an outfit. Nor for their fashion sense, or even Kiki's talent for eye make-up.

(Which he's not going to ask her to do, anyway. That too would probably send the wrong signal to the bird…)

The fact is, Millie and Kiki may be Blitzø's best friends. Of course, he loves all the other girls in the support group like sisters (except that none of them have ever treated him like a piece of garbage). And Fizz is a bit like a brother to him, especially since they've patched things up. Same goes for Moxxie, to be honest.But there's something special between him and Millie, just as there is between him and Kiki.

He trusts them. Not with his life (well, in Millie's case, he does too), but with something equally precious and far more fragile.

His heart.

« Promise you won't make fun of me? » Blitzø asks, not daring to look them in the eye, for fear of chickening out.

His voice is so small he sounds as though he's on the verge of tears.

(He might be, actually.)

« Of course, B », Millie responds immediately, placing a strong but gentle hand on his shoulder, just as Kiki solemnly says:

« I promise! »

« The thing is... sex ruined everything between us from the very beginning. So I don't want to have sex... Uh... No, that's not true. I do. I really do. What I meant was... I... I'd like to have a r… real relationship . With him », Blitzø admits, in a barely audible voice.

He wouldn't be surprised if the scarred part of his face was the same color as the other. His cheeks are burning. He feels like a moron.

« Oh, Blitzø... I'm so proud of you! » exclaims Millie, hugging him so tightly she's probably dislocated a vertebra or two.

He gives her a hesitant smile. Kiki, for her part, remains silent and, when Blitzø looks up at her, she has wide eyes and a shell-shocked expression. He can't help feeling a little hurt. This turns to shock when she orders, in an urgent tone:

« Your hand! »

« Wha... what? »

« Give me your hand! Now! »

Somewhat offended, Blitzø complies anyway. Kiki grabs his hand and places it on her rounded belly. He's about to ask her exactly what she wants when he feels a slight movement under his palm.

« She's kicking! » Kiki exclaims with an exalted smile, tears in her eyes. « Bean's kicking! »

Millie puts both hands over her mouth with a squeal and her eyes begin to sparkle.

« Oooh, that's so cute! Can I touch it too? »

« Of course », Kiki replies, her smile widening.

She takes Mille’s hand and places it next to Blitzø's. This time, Baby Bean takes her sweet time. She sure knows how to make herself desired. When she finally gives her second kick, Millie lets out another squeal of joy and Blitzø feels tears welling up in his eyes. He doesn't know why. And yet, all of a sudden, Bean is no longer a little blur on a screen full of static, nor a baby-to-be, but a real being with tiny little hooves and lots of energy.

He can't wait to meet her.

(He just hopes she'll be cuter than that poor little nightmare.)

« That's amazing! » he exclaims.

« And it's also a sign », retorts Kiki with a knowing smile.

« A sign of what? » asks Blitzø, puzzled.

« That she wants her favorite uncle to be happy », Kiki replies seriously. « There's nothing to be ashamed or embarrassed about, hot stuff. And there's certainly nothing wrong with wanting a relationship. You deserve to be with someone who loves you completely, and not just a small part of you. »

Blitzø barely resists the urge to comment on the size of his dick.

« I couldn't have said it better myself! » Millie adds, nodding her head.

Kiki wrinkles her nose thoughtfully, then says:

« Take off the shirt and necklace. »

Blitzø's expression must show how baffled he is by the apparent non sequitur, for she explains:

« Since we apparently don't want Prince McHotpants to jump your bones, a more casual outfit would probably be preferable. »

So Blitzø does as he's told, before taking another look in the mirror. He seems... normal. Which is a good thing, he supposes.

« I just hope he won't be disappointed », he confesses, rubbing the back of his neck.

« Not a chance », declares Kiki with certainty. « You could be wearing a garbage bag and he'd look at you like he wanted to gobble you up. »

Blitzø feels himself blushing once more and Millie giggles.

« Now go. You don't want to keep him waiting! »

Blitzø grimaces a smile and strokes his crystal to invoke a portal leading to Stolas' palace. The two girls embrace him and wish him luck, and he hurries through to the other side. He finds himself once again in front of the porch stairs leading to the main entrance. Blitzø still feels uneasy, but at least this time he's not on the brink of a panic attack.

He takes a deep breath and clenches his fists, before heading for the steps.

He's got a pretty bird to see, after all...

Notes:

Next time, I promise, the picnic happens!

Chapter 41: The picnic

Summary:

After a few detours, they finally have their picnic…

Notes:

Sorry for putting the chapter on the wrong story... 🤦‍♀️ and thanks to those who told me

And just for Fiddlethecat, we starts with a micro-scene about a certain picture. I hope you’ll be happy with this.
As usual, thanks for the comments and kudos. They’re very much appreciated 🩷

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

« I still can't believe you were ever that ugly! » exclaims a disbelieving Blitzø.

« Believe it. You're looking right at it », replies Stolas in a deadpan voice.

« Yes, but... you were so cute when I first met you. And look at you now, you're gorgeous! »

Stolas lets out a little hoot, which Blitzø barely notices, too busy as he is looking at the bird's baby portrait. Hung between the portrait of a royal egg (literally, they even had the bad taste to put a fucking crown on it) and that of the fluffy, happy little boy Blitzø remembers so well, the portrait of newborn Stolas is just as ugly as advertised. Maybe even uglier. Blitzø can't deny what's staring him in the face, yet he finds it almost impossible to believe.

« Maybe there's still hope for the little nightmare, after all… » he mutters.

He was talking to himself, but Stolas replies anyway:

« What hope, dearest? »

Blitzø feels something twist in his stomach, but it's not nerves this time. He can't help it: he loves it when the bird uses these cute terms of endearment.

« That I won't have to maim dozens of kids for laughing at her… »

« We may still have to… » Stolas murmurs in a soft, melancholic voice. « But perhaps no children? »

Blitzø looks up at him. The bird is still looking at that ugly-ass portrait of himself, but he has wrapped his arms around his own body, and his attitude has changed from amusement to sadness in the blink of an eye.

« Hey, pretty bird », Blitzø says in the gentle tone he uses to soothe the twins when they're upset. « What’s wrong? You can talk to me, you know? »

Stolas is startled and a slight blush appears on his cheeks. He looks down, the white pupils of his beautiful cherry-red eyes settling on Blitzø, and replies:

« Persephone is half-Goetia, half-imp. She won't be accepted in my world and I'm not sure she will be in yours either.... I've never apologized for that, have I? »

« Apologized for what? It's not like you forced your father to sleep with an imp! » Blitzø scoffs, rolling his eyes.

« Perhaps not, but I did the exact same thing... and I failed to notice how different our statuses were and how uncomfortable the situation was for you. I was so absorbed in being with you that I didn't even take the time to think about the impact it had on you and how you felt, and for that, dearest, I'm truly sorry. »

Blitzø's first instinct is to make a crude joke to ease the tension. To be honest, he feels a little unsettled at having Stolas' full attention focused on him. Okay, that’s not entirely true. During their agreement, the bird certainly couldn't keep his hands and eyes off him. There's a reason Blitzø started tying him up and blindfolding him, after all (or at least after the first time, when his motivations were entirely book-related). But now, Stolas’ focus seems... sweeter, somehow. More personal. As if the bird sees him, not as an object of fantasy, but as a person. And still wants to be with him.

(As a friend, Blitzø, whatever others may say. He said he wanted to be friends. And right now, he's certainly not looking at you with desire in his eyes, that's for sure.)

It's also the first time Blitzø has received such a sincere apology. It's as if Stolas has taken the time to reflect and understand why he hurt Blitzø's feelings.
It's overwhelming, to say the least.

« Thank you, Stolas », he finally replies, with a hesitant smile. « And for the record, I don't think I could have seen it any other way. I was so into my shit that I didn't see what was going on either.

You were making an effort to get to know me better, to show me that you cared and I just... I just shoved it all under the rug, because I just couldn't wrap my head around the idea of anyone, especially someone like you, being interested in me. Prejudice goes both ways, you know? Anyway, I never gave you a chance. I pushed you away, as I always do with people I care about. It wasn't fair to you. »

Stolas stares at him, stunned.

« You... you cared? » he whispers, and there's hope in his tone. « About me? »

Blitzø can't help but grunt and roll his eyes, even as he feels his cheeks burning.

« Is that the part you're taking away from all this? »

« It's the only one that matters to me », replies Stolas, with such sincerity in his voice that Blitzø's cheeks burn even hotter.

« That's really gay, Stolas! » he retorts, but his tail, that traitor, wraps itself around the bird's wrist.

And he feels a smile forming on his own lips.

(It seems he himself has gotten even gayer when it comes to the fucking bird.)

« Well, I am gay, after all.. » retorts Stolas in his deadpan voice, contradicted by the little smile forming on his beak. « Now, darling, are you hungry? »

As if waiting for its cue, Blitzø's stomach rumbles loudly. He rubs his face in embarrassment, but Stolas takes his hand in his own and squeezes it gently.

« It's perfect. I've been cooking all afternoon and I hope you'll enjoy what I've prepared. »

« You cooked? »

Blitzø really hadn't intended to sound so disbelieving. And it isn't that he can't imagine the bird in a kitchen, either.

(Well... yeah, he really can’t. Come on, it's almost as weird to picture Stolas wearing an apron and wielding a frying pan and spatula as it is to imagine him on his knees cleaning his own toilets…

When Blitzø imagines the bird on his knees, there's never any toilets involved... and he really shouldn't be having those kind of thoughts right now!)

But the truth is, he never thought Stolas would take the time and energy to cook for him. In fact, when the bird invited him to a picnic, Blitzø assumed he was going to send his little butler...

(No. Pringles. His name is Pringles. He's Bean's father, Blitzø needs to start thinking of him as a person, not a function. Otherwise, he's just as bad as those other Goetia who don't even bother to remember their servants' names.)

to buy fancy bread, weird-ass cheese, some charcuterie and expensive wine and put them in a basket. Or maybe get his cook to prepare it inside the palace. He'd never have thought Stolas would go to such lengths.

So he's floored, thrilled, shocked and a bit worried all at once. It's probably a good thing that imps have such strong stomachs. Because there's no way he won't eat it all, even if it tastes like dirty gravel.

« You should know that I'm a decent cook... once Monique has monitored every step of the process and thrown away the first three or four batches of everything. I didn't want to risk poisoning you, after all. But she swears it's edible, and at least this time I didn't nearly burn down the whole kitchen », replies Stolas in a tone that's half mock-offended, half embarrassed.

He's adorable.

And Blitzø suddenly imagines him wearing nothing but a frilly apron and kneeling on the immaculate tiles of the palace kitchen...

To distract himself from the dirty, vivid images his treacherous mind sends him, Blitzø asks:

« Monique? »

« She's the cook. She has been for fifteen years, in fact, although I've only seen her a handful of times. I guess you were right when you said I wasn't interested in imps. I was only interested in you. I'm a little ashamed that you had to point that out to me, to tell you the truth. But I'm trying to be better and I'm getting to know the estate staff. They're very nice people, with interesting stories to tell », explains Stolas sheepishly, with a slight blush on his cheeks.

Blitzø squeezes the hand that still holds his.

« I’m proud of you », he says.

The petty part of his mind feels vindicated that the accusations he hurled at Stolas' head that awful night were well-founded, but the truth is, he's genuinely proud of him. Looks like Blitzø isn't the only one trying to better himself…

« Thank you, darling. It means a lot to me. »

Stolas' voice trembles and his eyes suddenly become suspiciously wet, so Blitzø asks, with a shit-eating grin:

« Do you have a signed promise from Monique-The-Cook that I won't get poisoned by ingesting the picnic you've prepared for me? »

« Oh, you awful man! » Stolas retorts with a slight smack on the shoulder that feels totally flirty.

« Don't think I didn't notice that you avoided answering my question! » Blitzø retorts with a smirk.

Stolas' open laughter sounds like a small victory, and Blitzø is only too happy to let himself be led into the maze of corridors that is the palace by the hand that Stolas hasn't yet let go of.

An hour later, they're both sitting on a comfortable blanket somewhere in the human world, under a canopy of shining stars. Best of all, they're sitting next to a pasture full of horses. There's a magnificent white stallion, a few pretty mares and even the cutest foal. When Stolas told Blitzø that he had chosen this place specifically for the horses, the imp had to summon all his self-control not to pounce on him.

(Same when Stolas asked him what he'd name the horses and what their personalities would be... of course, Blitzø was too busy imagining their backstories to do so, but it still turned him on.)

It turns out that Monique-The-Cook wasn't lying. The food was by no means a culinary feat, but it was more than edible, and Blitzø doesn't even have to lie when Stolas asks him if he enjoyed the meal.

(Of course, what he avoids saying is that he enjoyed the company and setting far more than the food, but he didn't hate it, which he still counts as a win for both Stolas and him.)

Blitzø lies on his back with a satisfied sigh, one arm supporting his head, the other simply resting on the blanket. A few seconds later, Stolas is lying right next to him. He's so close that their hands could almost brush by accident, but Blitzø feels that would cheapen the experience somehow. Instead, he looks up and points to the three bright stars in a row that he recognizes from all the times Stolas has told him about the sky.

« That's Orius's belt, isn't it? Those three? »

Stolas gives a little hoot.

« Orion. Yes. How did you… »

« And this one », Blitzø continues with a knowing little smirk, « is the Big Mama Bear. »

« Ursa Major or the Big Dipper », corrects Stolas, and maybe it's Blitzø's wishful thinking, but the bird sounds a little impressed.

« And that one... that's Cass-toffee. She… »

He can't finish his sentence because his body is suddenly covered by a gorgeous, fluffy owl who kisses him as if he's suffocating and needs every bit of air in Blitzø's lungs to keep breathing.The imp is only too happy to return the kiss and lets his hand roam down Stolas' back, marveling at the feel of his lithe, supple body pressing against his own, the soft texture of his feathers under his hands, his intoxicating scent and the needy, muffled sounds escaping from his beak.

Blitzø isn't sure he's ever been so turned on in his life. He's about to squeeze the bird’s beautiful ass when his therapist's voice suddenly echoes in his mind.

Make sure it's for the right reasons

He's been nothing but grateful for everything she's done for him and the help she's given him these past few months.

And yet, right now, he hates the bitch. Couldn't she let him enjoy it all?

Tearing himself away from the bird is sheer torture, and when he sees the ruffled feathers on Stolas' head and those beautiful cherry-red eyes with their wide white pupils looking at him in adorable confusion, Blitzø has to force himself to back away until he's at a safe distance.

« Blitzy… Blitzø? »

« You... you said you wanted to be friends », Blitzø reminds him, because it's the only thing he can hold on to, the only reminder that trying to seduce the bird is a bad idea.

« I’m… I'm sorry… » murmurs Stolas and he sits up properly, legs under him and hands clasped in his lap.

Yes, this is what Blitzø feared. The bird has simply let his old habits get the better of him and...

« I lied », says Stolas sheepishly.

The shock leaves Blitzø speechless.

« Y-you what? » he asks when his voice finally returns, a good minute later.

Stolas' expression is ashamed and his cheeks turn imp red.

« It's not... it's not that I don't want to be your friend. You have to know that I adore our discussions. But... if I'm being honest with you... I want more. I want what I've wanted for so long: a chance at a real relationship. I want to be there when you need comfort. I want to wake up next to you. I want to cook together... or rather I want to be the one who’s doing the simple chores while you’re cooking because I feel like you're so much better at it than I am... I want to be your boyfriend, darling. Even more than before, because now I really know you and lo… like you so very much », says Stolas, not daring to look him in the eye.

Blitzø blinks several times, feeling once again like an absolute moron and cringing at the thought of Kiki and Millie's smugness when they find out. He rubs both hands over his face and grunts:

« Stolas... you're an idiot. »

The dejected expression on the bird's face is too much for him to bear and he throws himself at him, so hard that he knocks them both flat on the ground, although Stolas' chest feathers cushion the impact for Blitzø. Instead of going for his beak, Blitzø wraps his arms around the bird and his tail around them both before adding:

« You're my idiot. And if you'd said all that from the start… instead of saying you wanted to be friends, you could have avoided so much confusion… »

« You... you mean… »

« I want you too, you stupid bird. I'm not sure I'd be a good boyfriend, but I'll do my best to deserve you. »

« Oh Blitzy… » Stolas murmurs reverently, kissing every bit of skin that comes near his beak.

It tickles a little, but it's so good, so right that Blitzø indulges in the pleasure a little longer before pulling away once more.

« But... I need time. I think we both need it. To try out this relationship thing. I want to keep talking to you and spending time with you, but... but... I can't believe I'm going to say this, but I think we should wait before we have sex. It's just... it's so connected to everything we had before, and it was so good physically, but it felt so wrong, and I… »

Blitzø knows he's rambling, but it's so hard for him to express these complicated feelings out loud that he feels tears welling up in his eyes.

Stolas places a finger on his lips, before lifting his chin so that their eyes meet. And his gaze is so soft and tender that Blitzø can feel the tears running down his cheeks.

« Shh, darling, it's okay. We don't have to do anything that makes you uncomfortable. I'll wait as long as you need me to. I just want to be with you, in whatever way I can. »

Blitzø puts his head in the feathers on his chest and breathes in their scent, while Stolas gently rubs his back. When he's (almost) sure he's not about to lose it again, Blitzø takes a deep breath and looks at the bird once more.

He loves him so much right now that he can almost taste the words on his tongue.

But this is too emotional a moment to confess his feelings. There must be no confusion. Stolas deserves better than a hasty confession. He needs to know that Blitzø means what he says. So it certainly won't be today, or tomorrow, but soon Blitzø will tell his bird that he's the only person he's fallen in love with as an adult, and with any luck, he'll be the last.

Notes:

And… this ship has officially sailed, people. Finally!

Thanks so much to Chexpet for tracking all of my typos and changes in adjectives! You're the best! ♥️

Chapter 42: The teenager

Summary:

Turns out Gil’s situation is a bit more dire than advertised…

Notes:

So it's an extremely short, super sweet chapter that's both a transition between the previous and the next and focuses a bit on the mother-to-be we know the least about. Plus, I'm not feeling very well, so I needed something gentle.

I hope you like it!

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

After the most perfect date he's ever had, Blitzø finally summons a portal home. Technically, it's the third one. He was so distracted by Stolas' farewell kisses that the first two disappeared before he could pass through. But this time, he feels his resolve melting away with every passing second. The bird's cloudy eyes, messy fluffy feathers and heart-shaped white pupils are so tempting that if he doesn't leave right away, Blitzø is going to do something that... he certainly won't regret afterwards, let's be honest, but which would still be a step backwards.

So he cups the pretty bird's head in his hands, gives him a peck on the beak and says in an authoritative voice:

« Behave yourself, now. »

Clearly, Stolas has been well conditioned during their games, for his response is immediate.

« Yes, sir », he says, putting his arms behind his back and assuming an obedient posture.

« That's my good boy », replies Blitzø approvingly.

He squeezes Stolas' legs with his tail and blows a kiss over his shoulder just before he enters the portal.

Once inside his building, he sighs in happiness. He and Stolas have decided to have breakfast together in their coffee shop tomorrow, and he can't wait to see him again! And if that makes him a complete simp, so be it! His boyfriend is the prettiest, smartest, sweetest, cutest demon in Hell, and if it's romance he wants, Blitzø will romance the ever-living shit out of him!

As he takes a shaking breath, he realizes part of Stolas traveled with him. The pleasant scent of lavender, herbs, earth and pretty bird lingers on Blitzø’s t-shirt, on his jeans… even on his skin. Despite his sappy smile, he's painfully aware that a simple whiff will reveal to Loony all there is to know about how he spent his evening. And with that stupid bet, there's no way the rest of the group isn't going to find out within minutes. Blitzø rubs his face with both hands, braces himself for the worst and enters the apartment.

Spotting a gray-furred form curled up on the sofa, he heaves another sigh, this time of relief. Loony must have fallen asleep in front of the TV and won't notice the scent of his bird until tomorrow morning. Blitzø grabs the remote to turn the set off. But when he reaches up to stroke the fur on her head, he realizes it's darker and longer than it should be. There's also a large duffel bag full of clothes and various items at the foot of the sofa.

« Whaaa… »

Blitzø doesn't have time to finish the word before a paw clamps down on his mouth and Loony's red eyes invade his field of vision.

« Hush Dad, you're going to wake Gil! » she exclaims urgently.

And now that he has a better look, Blitzø realizes that the teenage hellhound is the one lying on the couch.

He lets himself be drawn into his bedroom, where the twins are peacefully asleep, each with his favorite toy.

« What's happened? » he whispers. « Why is Gil sleeping on our couch? »

Loony's expression turns embarrassed and she sits on his bed, petting her own tail.

« It's... complicated », she says, avoiding his gaze.

« That's a Hellbook relationship status, Loony, not an explanation. Why is Gil here and not at her parents' house? »

« These fuckers kicked her out as soon as they realized she was pregnant and didn't want to get rid of the baby! » replies his daughter, and despite the fact that she's whispering, her voice conveys so much emotion that she might as well be shouting.

Since the twins entered their lives, they've both become experts at never raising their voices. Last week, they had an entire argument in whispers.
Blitzø is so stunned by the news that he remains completely silent. It's certainly the last thing he expected to hear today. Well, not exactly the last. The fact that Stolas wants to have a relationship with him remains a bigger shock, to be honest, but the news about Gil is right behind it.

« I’m sorry, Dad », says Loony, mistaking his lack of reaction for a silent reproach. « I couldn't leave her in the streets. I just couldn't. And it's not because she's a child about to give birth to another one. At least it's not just that. It's that she... she reminds me… »

Her voice breaks and her pretty red eyes fill with tears. His heart clenching painfully in his chest, Blitzø embraces her. Loony lets him. She's become much more affectionate in the last two months.

Another positive effect of having the twins in their lives.

(Blitzø does his best not to think about the time when they'll be gone.)

« It’s okay », he says, with a gentle, loving smile. « I get it, Loony Toony. Now, help me carrying Gil into this room. She’ll be a lot more comfortable here. »

Blitzø is so proud of his daughter that he might just burst into tears. And he really understands. He remembers all too well the huge lump in his throat the first time he saw his Loony, trapped behind the bars of that squalid cage. To be honest, Blitzø recognized himself in her. And he couldn't leave her there either. There was nothing he wouldn't have done to free her.

« Dad, you're not going to… »

« …let a pregnant kid sleep on a couch when she could be in a real bed? You're right, I won’t. »

« What about the twins? »

« We'll put them in the living room with me. Now that they're teething, you never know when they'll wake up, and it wouldn't do Gil any good to be woken suddenly in the middle of the night by those little noise factories. »

« Or Gil could sleep in my room » she offers. « And I’ll sleep on the couch. That way, we won't have to disturb the twins. »

She's made so much progress in recent months that Blitzø's heart swells. His face probably betrays his thoughts, because Loony rolls her eyes in disgust.

« Don't get sentimental on me, Blitzø. I'm only doing this for the twins. Because they get super cranky when they haven't had enough sleep. »

« Sure, Loony Toony », he retorts with a dopey grin. « But you sleep in your room. The couch is big, but it's not that big. And you're even crankier than the twins when you haven't had your beauty sleep. »

As he can see she’s about to growl, Blitzø points to Pepper, the louder of the two screaming machines, and she sighs in defeat.

« Fine. But I’m going to sleep here and we’re putting Gil in my room. That way, we minimize the chances of waking someone up. That’s my final offer. »

Aware that his daughter is as stubborn as he is, Blitzø gives in and carries the sleeping hellhound teenager to her bed. He then returns to his own room to kiss the twins, as he has done every night since they came into his life, and to take his favorite pajamas and horsie blanket.

« Good night, Loony », he whispers. « Sleep tight. »

« Good night, Dad. And don't think we're not going to discuss in detail the fact that you smell like Prince Douchey everywhere », she adds, wrinkling her nose and giving him a knowing little smirk.

Blitzø feels himself blushing and purses his lips in offence.

« Who's the father here? »

« Dunno, but I hope you wore a condom », retorts Loony with a shrug.

This time his cheeks are burning.

« Why does everyone keep thinking I've had sex? We. Just. Kissed! » he whisper-growls, crossing his arms with a pout.

(Okay, it wasn't just a kiss. It was several kisses, for starters, and they were far more meaningful to him than the kinkiest sex he’s ever had, but there's no way he'd admit that to his daughter right now... or ever.)

« Oh », says Loony with a frown. « But you… you're happy, right? I mean, he didn’t… »

Her concern is so obvious that Blitzø can't even pretend to stay mad.

« No. Don’t worry, Loony. Everything is fine. I promise. »

Even though she doesn't seem entirely convinced, Loony shrugs and kisses him on the cheek before shutting the door in his face. Blitzø barely has time to take a step back to avoid being kicked in the nose. And yet, he smiles so broadly that his face is almost split in two. He has a sweet boyfriend, a daughter who loves him and shows it more and more, an adorable nephew and niece and several good friends who care about him. Blitzø still isn't sure he deserves it (or rather, he's pretty sure he doesn't), but he's not so crazy as to give it up for some moral reason. If they're foolish enough to like him, he's not going to argue with them about it.

Sure, he's now apparently responsible for a pregnant homeless teenager, but who doesn't have little problems to deal with?

Blitzø briefly considers taking a shower, but a whiff of his T-shirt changes his mind. He wants to fall asleep surrounded by the scent of his bird. That way, he can almost pretend he's sleeping next to Stolas. So he goes into the bathroom to wash his hands and face, brush his teeth and get into his pajamas. Back in the living room, he lies down on the couch and can't resist checking his phone to see if Stolas has left him a message.

He has.

Darling, thank you for the most incredible date of my life. I hope you had fun tonight. I look forward to seeing you tomorrow. Yours, Stolas.

If Blitzø's cheek burned any more, he could die of spontaneous combustion, he's sure of it. He starts typing a reply, deletes it, retypes it for an awkwardly long time, before settling on:

Me too, pretty bird. Sweet dreams.

(He resists the urge to send a heart emoji, the moment hasn't come yet.)

Then he switches off his phone, lies on his side holding his T-shirt in his hands and takes a whiff of the best scent in Hell, before closing his eyes. The last thought he has before falling asleep is

My Stolas.

Notes:

Fair warning, next chapter is going to be super angsty and hyper emotional, so take the win while you can!

Chapter 43: The birthday

Summary:

Today’s birthday is going to be a bit different from the ones that came before…

Notes:

So... I'm not feeling any better, but I wanted to post this extremely emotional chapter(s) before Sinsmas shatters all our hopes/dreams/hearts (I sincerely hope that won't be the case, but I'm not taking any chances).
It's a very angsty chapter, for obvious reasons, and it's going to be divided into two parts. The second (which ends on a more positive note) will be posted tomorrow around the same time.

Thank to all of you for the comments and kudos 🩷

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

As soon as Blitzø opens his eyes, an intense feeling of dread invades his whole body.

Here we go again, he thinks.

He takes a shaky breath and clenches his fists, digging his claws into his palms, so that the physical pain distracts him from the emotional one, even if only for a brief moment.

Usually, Blitzø celebrates that specific day by staying in bed, crying and remembering, but today is not like the others. First and foremost, because there are babies who need his attention. So he forces himself to get up and heads for the twins' cribs.

It took intense negotiations to find an arrangement that suited everyone. Blitzø would have gladly let Gil sleep in his bed to take the couch and keep the twins with him in the living room, but the teenager flatly refused, just as she declined Loony's offer to take the couch herself and Gil her bed. Since letting Gil sleep on the couch was also out of the question, they finally reached a compromise. Blitzø procured an air mattress for Loony, that is both very soft and extremely resistant, because hellhounds' claws are as sharp as imps'.

(He actually found one at Ozzie's, of all places, which actually shouldn't have surprised him, because if anyone can provide a soft surface to lie on, it's the King of Lust.)

They pushed Loony's bed to the side to make room for the air mattress. So she and Gil can share her bedroom, Blitzø and the twins the other one, and everyone gets a good night's sleep.

(Well, half of them do. Teething is no joke, and the twins keep Blitzø up for hours practically every night. That's why he often falls asleep at his desk these days. To be fair, it's not really a problem. Unfortunately, it's also happened in the middle of a job, which is much worse, and on a date with Stolas. As far as Blitzø is concerned, that’s really the worst-case scenario. Luckily, his boyfriend was very understanding, as he'd been through something similar with Via when she was a nestling. Not because of teething, obviously, but it appears that the transition from down to stronger feathers causes incredible itching in young birds. And, unsurprisingly, the kid's mother couldn't be bothered to take care of her half the time. Or even once. So Stolas had to get up and soothe her every single time.

Blitzø has decided to keep to himself just how much the mental image makes him horny. He doesn't want to give his bird the wrong signals. They can take their time and content themselves with kisses. Which are already pretty hot. Afterwards, he just has to take increasingly cold showers, that's all.)

This may be the only situation where thinking about his boyfriend isn't enough to bring a smile to his lips. Instead, Blitzø's eyes are blurred by tears and he wipes them away with the back of his hand. Curiously, for once, it's Lobster who's wide awake while Pepper is still asleep. So he takes the little boy in his arms and rubs his nose against his.

« Biss? Di? Wo? » the little boy asks worriedly.

« It's all right, little one. Everything's going to be okay », replies Blitzø, in a trembling voice that clearly lacks conviction.

He clears his throat and tries again.

« Today is your gran… grandmoma’s birthday. She would have been 55. She had me and your mom pretty young, you see. »

Blitzø has forgotten his own birthday a couple of times in the last few years, but never his mom's.

He's the reason she won't be celebrating another one, after all.

Lobster must feel like an answer is expected of him, because he nods. Blitzø gives him a tremulous smile and a light kiss on the forehead.

« Would you like to go and see her? » he asks on a whim.

« Di! » replies the baby with another nod, which leaves Blitzø stricken.

The fact is, he's deliberately avoided his mom’s grave for the past sixteen years. And it's not because he doesn't want to go. On the contrary, he's thought countless times about going there to tell her about all the significant events in his life, just as he did when he was a little boy, and even as a teenager. Blitzø certainly could have used her advice on some (or all) of the things he did.

(And all of the people he hurt.)

Fizz

Barbie

Verosika

His time in Greed

His deal with Stolas

How he handled the end of his deal with Stolas.

Moma would almost certainly not have approved of the decisions he made, but she wouldn't have scolded or judged him. That was more Cash's style. Moma, on the other hand, always took the time to listen and then gave her take on the situation, in a calm, empathetic voice.

(With his and his sister's dirty mouths, Blitzø wondered more than once if there hadn't been a mistake at the maternity ward, and if his mom hadn't been given the babies of another half-imp, half-succubus, someone with a short fuse, who in turn had received her sweet-natured ones. But not only have the twins clearly inherited their father's horns (and his fucking temper, unfortunately), they also have their mom’s eyes.

To be honest, it's the only feature of his that Blitzø has ever considered pretty. The others can say whatever they want, he has a mirror and perfectly functional eyes; he knows exactly what he looks like. When he makes an effort, it’s not so bad, but he's neither pretty nor handsome. He's a circus imp. But he has Moma's eyes and they were so beautiful. Even if they looked a thousand times better on her than they do on him.)

It wasn't just the difficult decisions he wanted to discuss with Moma, though. He also wanted to talk about all the victories in his life.

(The people who made it worth living.)

The founding of I.M.P.

Hiring M&M

Adopting Loony

Reconciling with Fizz

Taking care of the twins

Meeting Kiki and the other girls in the support group

Stolas wanting to be his boyfriend

Blitzø knows, without a doubt, that she would have been so happy for him.

His vision blurs again and he begins to sob loudly. He misses her so much. Not a day, not an hour goes by without him thinking about Moma, but her birthday is particularly difficult for him. That's why he hasn't visited her grave in sixteen years.

He didn't feel the right to see her, not after what he'd done.

« Biss? Wuv oo kay? »

His breath catches in his throat and he feels suddenly numb, as if a bolt of lightning had flashed through his body. But when Lobster puts his tiny hands on his cheeks and begins to purr, Blitzø realizes that his nephew hasn't told him he loves him. He simply copied what Blitzø himself does when one of the twins is upset. Anyway, he's probably too young to understand the meaning of words...

And yet, it's proof that he cares.

« I’ll take you and your sister to see her », Blitzø vows.

He still doesn't feel worthy of seeing his mother's grave. But the twins deserve to know about their grandmother. And Moma certainly deserves to be remembered. If Blitzø, Barbie and Fizz are the only ones who remember her, the day will come when there will be no one left to do so. But if the twins know about her and end up telling their own children, then a small part of Moma will live forever.

That's all Blitzø wants.

He wipes his face again, changes Lobster's diaper (he loves these kids more than anyone except Loony, but their shit must be a safety hazard, given the smell) and puts on his cutest outfit, a recent gift from the support group. Once Blitzø himself is dressed in his best suit, and since Pepper is still asleep, he decides to wake her up as gently as possible.

A few minutes later, he opens the door and the smell of bacon, eggs and fried dough reaches his nose. Although he's not hungry, the smell is so good he feels saliva pooling in his mouth. In the tiny kitchen, Gil, his 'Kiss the cook' apron stretched over her rounded belly, handles the spatula with ease, while Loony prepares a nice little tray.

« Hey! » he calls out.

The two hellhounds prick up their ears.

« Dad? You're up? »

Loony's obvious surprise would be vexing if Blitzø wasn't aware that she's seen him stay in bed every year on the same date since he adopted her.

« I was preparing a tray », she says in a calculated, nonchalant voice, but her ears are tilted back and the way she pets her own tail tells a different story. « I… I know you don't like getting up on this day. »

Blitzø realizes, with no small amount of guilt, that he's never told her why. His mom's death (and the circus fire) has been his dirty secret, one he's never dared share with those closest to him, too afraid they'll hate him for it.

But she too deserves to know that it's her grandmother's birthday and that, without him, she would have had Moma's pure light shining on her life.

« It's... it's my mom’s birthday », he explains in a raspy voice.

He glances at Gil, in case the word ‘mom’ is a trigger for her. After all, she's about to become one (despite the fact that she's heaven-bent on giving the baby up for adoption as soon as he or she is born) and her own mother ruthlessly kicked her out when she insisted on doing the right thing.

(Blitzø may have asked Mrs. K to babysit the twins a few nights ago so he could go to Pentagram City, where Gil's parents live, cut down all the flowers in their garden and slash the tires on their car. Just as he may have gone to Greed to smash every single window in Lavender's ex’s house.

He may have told this to his therapist yesterday, as a hypothesis and not as a confession (plausible deniability and all that). But before she could tell him she was disappointed, Blitzø pointed out that this hypothetical person hadn't done what he really wanted to do, which was to put a bullet between those assholes' eyes. (Lavender is much better off with Jesse and Gil with them anyway.) So Blitzø feels like he still holds the moral high ground. Not only did his therapist not argue, but he saw the tiniest smile on her lips, so she must agree with him, somehow.)

Gil doesn't seem the least bit triggered. In fact, she gives him a sympathetic smile and asks:

« When did she die? If... if you don't mind my asking. »

Being surrounded by people who accept her and don't judge her has done wonders for the young hellhound, who has been much less prickly in recent days and smiles more and more often... except when her unborn baby is brought up in conversation. She then closes up like an oyster.

Blitzø tries to swallow the big lump that has formed in his throat and stop himself from sobbing again.

(He fails on both counts. Miserably.)

« It's been... it's been fif…teen years », he stammers.

Seconds later, Loony is on her knees in front of him, hugging him fiercely. Pepper and Lobster purr their hearts out, and Blitzø is torn between two completely opposite and contradictory emotions: elation at the love that surrounds him and shame at being the adult comforted by the kids.

« I’m sorry, Dad », Loony whispers and her beautiful red eyes are wet. « I never asked. I should have… »

« No, Loony », Blitzø manages to say. « I should have said something. But... you see… »

The time has come for him to tell her the truth. About the fire, about Moma, about why Fizzies is covered in burn scars and has mechanical limbs instead of regular ones.

But the words refuse to form in his mouth.

He's not ready for her hatred.

Not yet.

« I’ll tell you all about it », he promises. « But later. »

« Sure, Dad. Do you want to take your tray and go back to your room? Gil did all the cooking, so it should be good. »

« My grandma taught me everything she knew », adds the young hellhound with a smile. « She was an excellent cook. And a great person too. If she'd still been alive when it happened… »

She sniffles, then puts on a brave smile.

« We can take care of the twins today, if you like. »

Blitzø is both touched and ashamed to be the one needing comfort when Gil's situation is so much more serious than his own.

(Plus she’s so young. And she hasn't done anything wrong.)

« Actually... I wanted to visit her grave today », he mumbles. « And I was planning to take the twins with me. »

« Oh. Do you… do you want me to come with you? » Loony asks, in a hesitant voice.

Blitzo wasn't expecting this offer and doesn't know how to react. Which Loony must take as reluctance, because she hastens to add:

« It's okay if you don't want to. She's your mom, I understand. »

But even though she tries to put on a brave face, like Gil, to appease him, Blitzø can see that she's hurt. So he answers honestly:

« She's your grandmother, Loony. And I kept you away from her for so long because I was hurt and ashamed. It wasn't fair to you, and I’m so sorry about that. I wish you could go meet her properly, but... today is really hard for me. I'm gonna cry like a little bitch. And I don't want you to see me like this. »

Loony lets out a cute snort.

« You cry like a little bitch every time you watch your favorite horse cartoon », she comments, but a smile spreads across her lips.

« That's because Spirit is a great movie full of emotion », he retorts, vexed on behalf of his favorite stallion.

« Sure, Dad », she retorts, rolling her eyes. « Whatever. Now sit down and eat. »

« I’m not really hungry… »

« Gil took all this time to make you a nice breakfast, the least you can do is eat it », she retorts, crossing her arms and narrowing her eyes.

« Oh no, it's okay, he doesn't have to… »

« No. Loony's right », Blitzø says, handing the twins to his daughter, before jumping up onto a chair.

And despite his lack of appetite, he eats a little of everything the young hellhound has prepared for him and thanks her profusely before leaving the table. Loony helps him tie up the sling (she's so used to it by now that she does it almost by reflex) then he summons the portal.

« See you later, girls. Leave everything there. I'll clean up when I get back. »

Then Blitzø takes a deep breath, ignores his heart as it clenches painfully in his chest, and steps through the portal to his mother's grave.

Notes:

Timelines are hard to keep, but considering the two stepstones we have on the show (that Stolas met Blitzo when they were both 11, 25 years before Blitzo came back for the book and that the circus fire happened 15 years ago at that point), and with all the time that has passed since the deal, Blitzø is about to turn 37. Stolas already is. And the twins are somewhere between 5 1/2 and 7 1/2 months, because we still don’t know when these two were born…

(I also know that Momma is written with 2 m, but that's not how it's spelled on the card the twins made for her in the photo in Blitzø's phone...)

And as Vivziepop released Sinsmas earlier that I expected, you can already read the next chapter!

Chapter 44: The grave

Summary:

Finally, Blitzø lets go of those bottled emotions and allows himself to breathe

Notes:

As I was expecting Sinsmas a day later, I published the saddest part of the scene on the wrong day. So, to make up for it, I'm publishing two chapters in a row, to give you the full picture.

(Although, to be honest, Sinsmas went better than I was afraid of. But the bar, as far as I’m concerned, was pretty low anyway, so… This time, I won’t get into details, to avoid spoiling anyone by accident but… oh my, the emotional rollercoaster. And boy am I furious at two characters right now. I expected it, but I still very much am…)

You can thank Chexpet for dissuading me from part of my original idea for that particular chapter, which was a bit bleaker.
In any case, I'm grateful for the BL and the discussions. You are the best !😘

Hope you’ll like this one, people!

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

As soon as Blitzø arrives at the graveyard, he’s seized by a strong urge to run back to his apartment and hide under his blanket. It's one of the worst ideas he's ever had. What was he thinking? There are only bad memories for him in this place.

He remembers vividly the last time he was here, for his mom’s funeral. A funeral Blitzø was not allowed to attend, as his father had made it perfectly clear that he held him responsible for what had happened. Since Blitzø was of the same opinion, he didn't even try to oppose Cash’s decision. He simply snuck into the graveyard and watched from afar as his father, Fizz, Barb and a handful of former All-Imp circus staff laid his mother to rest.

All were dressed in black. Barbie was wearing some kind of weird hat with a veil hiding her face (probably because she’s always hated crying in public) and was holding the handles of Fizz's wheelchair. The poor guy was in a terrible state, covered in bandages, his beautiful horns broken and all his limbs missing. It was years before Mammon got him his first prosthesis. It was also long before those first few public arguments with Blitzø, so the taller imp wasn't filled with rage and guilt at the mere sight of him. At that moment, only the latter was in charge, sprinkled with a heavy dose of intense grief. Almost as intense as the one he felt watching the coffin slowly sink into the earth. Blitzø cried until he couldn't see, until he couldn't breathe, praying to Satan, Lucifer, even fucking God to bring his mom back and take him instead.

But of course, nothing of the sort happened. Mercy was never in the cards for him.

He starts to hyperventilate, but a tap on his cheek stops him from spiraling out of control. The heart-shaped tip of Pepper's tail pokes him, as she looks up at him with her big, beautiful silver eyes.

« Tah? » she asks.

Blitzø takes a shaky breath and forces himself to smile at her.

« Thank you, baby girl », he says. « I needed that. »

« Tekoo », she repeats with a smile that clearly shows a third and fourth tooth.

At least all those sleepless nights of teething won't have been in vain...

Blitzø takes another deep breath, then another, until he's almost back to normal. After that he starts walking the empty pathways of the graveyard, looking for the place where his mom rests. He knows where it is, because he sends her flowers every month. Double on her birthday. Three times, he goes by what he’s almost certain is the right spot, except that instead of the modest stone his lousy father laid in memory of his late wife, there's a marble monument literally covered with colored vases full of fragrant, expensive-looking flowers. It's a bit surprising that someone who can afford such a luxury should be buried in an all-imp graveyard, to be honest. He’s about to pass his way once more when a voice calls out to him:

« Blitzø? »

Fizz's head appears behind the monument, his eyes full of tears. Just behind him stands Ozzie, dressed all in black, a sad, solemn expression on his face. He nods to Blitzø and starts typing on his phone.

« Fizzies? What are you… »

Blitzø doesn't have time to finish his question before he finds himself with a weeping jester imp in his arms. And despite the fact that Fizz hasn't jumped on him, bawling his eyes out, in over 25 years, old habits die hard. Which is why Blitzø finds himself gently stroking his friend’s back and purring lowly. Seconds later, the twins join in the purring, their little tails wrapped around Fizz’s mechanical limbs. After a long moment, the jester imp leans back just enough to offer Blitzø an almost sheepish smile.

« I’m so glad you finally came », he murmurs.

Blitzø wipes his friend’s tear-streaked cheeks with his thumbs and kisses him on the forehead. Pepper and Lobster use the opportunity to kiss him too, which makes Fizz chuckle.

Then Blitzø looks at the tombstone and his breath catches in his throat.

Tilla

Her light shone on all of us.

We'll miss her dearly,

But no one more than her jumping sprite,

her tornado princess

and her little lava pepper...

A steely hand grasps Blitzø's heart and twists it mercilessly at this obvious reminder of what he loved so much and lost forever, through his own fault.

‘Little lava pepper’ was Moma's nickname for him, and it's partly for this reason that he decided to call his niece Pepper.

« When... when did you have it done? » Blitzø asks, once he's sure his voice won't betray him.

« Six years ago », Fizz replies with a shrug.

« But... but we... You hated me then. »

«I loved Moma Tilla far more than I ever resented you. And she loved you so much. I always thought you were her favorite, even though she never treated me any differently. And I didn't hate you, you know. Or at least not entirely. I was furious, and hurt, I'm not gonna lie, but deep down, I missed you so much, buddy. You were my best friend, my brother, my first l... You have no idea how empty my life has been without you. How alone I felt, for so long… »

Fizz turns his eyes to the side, where Ozzie is still typing on his phone. Yet, as if sensing his lover's gaze, the Deadly Sin looks at him with a smile so tender that Blitzø has to look away.
It's not that he's not happy for his friend. He is. Fizz deserves love, companionship and the feeling of being wanted. Even yearned for. Which Ozzie gives him in abundance, as he should.

But deep down, Blitzø is still a bit jealous. It's an ugly feeling that fills him with shame.

He regrets not asking Loony to come with him for moral support. Or Millie. Or Kiki.

(Or his Stolas.)

But the truth is, he's not worthy of it.

Because, unlike Fizz, he's not a victim. He's the executioner, the monster that gave Fizz mechanical limbs and broken horns, the reason why there's a pretty, cold stone monument instead of his warm and loving Moma.

« You shouldn't have », he mutters in a broken voice.

« What are you talking about, buddy? » Fizzies replies, frowning.

« I don't deserve this! I'm not worthy of being on her grave. I FUCKING KILLED HER! »

Blitzø shouldn't have shouted, for he startled the twins, who begin screaming at the top of their lungs. But he feels so low, so miserable, so despicable that he can't even find the strength to comfort them.

« I’m sorry », he murmurs, burying his face in his hands. « I’m so, so sorry. I destroyed your life. Barbie's too. I destroy everything I touch… »

He feels a giant body next to him and gentle hands undo the sling to take the twins from him. Ozzie's deep voice echoes in his ears, humming a lullaby.

And yet Blitzø barely registers it, because he's sobbing so violently that his whole body is shaking.

Then Fizz cups Blitzø’s head with his hands.

« Look at me », he tells him in a soft but firm voice.

Blitzø shakes his head.

« Blitzø, look at me. Please, buddy. »

When he finally complies, his friend's eyes are once again full of tears.

« I’m so… » says Blitzø, but Fizz puts a finger over his mouth.

« Listen to me. You're not a monster. It wasn't your fault. It was a fucking accident. Yes, you shoved Shoelace and yes, you ran, but you're not responsible for everything that happened next. We lived in a fucking circus, Blitzø. With fire-eaters. And fireworks. The tents should have been covered with flame retardant. If anyone's to blame, it's your piece of shit father. He was the one too cheap to keep his employees safe. Even his own family. The whole place was a disaster waiting to happen. I'm sorry it took me so long to realize it. »

What Fizz is saying is nothing new. In fact, it's very similar to what his therapist has told him on several occasions.

And yet, Blitzø can't accept it. Because he's held on to his guilt and grief for so long.

Because he sees the consequences of his mistakes every day in the mirror.

Because he’s here now and his mom is not.

And none of this would have happened without him.

He shakes his head.

« I’m sorry... I'm sorry... Moma, I'm so sorry… »

Blitzø knows he sounds like a broken record, but he's kept these emotions locked up inside him for sixteen years. And now they're pouring out. And he can't control them.

Fizz wraps his arms around him and starts purring.

And then, suddenly, a second pair of strong arms surrounds Blitzø and another purr joins the first.

Millie.

And another.

Moxxie.

And a fourth.

Vanny.

Their tails surround him, forming a web of care, and all purr to soothe his pain.

And then Loony is there too, and she wraps her whole body around her father's back, rubbing her chin on the top of his head, between his horns.

And Blitzø is torn between grief and gratefulness, shame and relief, love and guilt.

But he's not alone.

« I miss her », he whispers. « I missed her so much. And I’m so scared she’ll be forgotten because of me… »

« She won’t be », assures Millie. « We will remember her. I promise. »

« As will I », declares Ozzie in a solemn tone.

« I will too », swears Kiki, whose eyes are filled with tears.

They're all here. They've all come. Well, almost. There's Kiki and Gil, Mrs. K, Stolas, his four glowing eyes full of unshed tears, and even Octavia, who looks sympathetically at Blitzø. Only Lavender and Magda are missing, but Jesse is there, for some reason.

« They wanted to come too », he assures Blitzø, « but Magda's water broke and we had to rush her to hospital. They made me promise to come here in their stead and tell you that they’re thinking of you. »

Blitzø is so moved that he starts crying again.

After a few moments, Fizz gently releases him. Then Moxxie. Then Millie. Loony is the last to let go.

Blitzø suddenly feels so small and cold.

Until a gentle, careful hand cups his cheek and he looks up into four beautiful cherry-red eyes. And Stolas asks in a slightly husky voice:

« Darling, may I take you in my arms? »

Blitzø can only nod.

A second later, he's pressed up against a fluffy, lean body that smells of lavender and herbs. Surrounded by Stolas' warmth, he buries his face in the soft feathers of his chest, while the bird’s hands gently run the length of his body, not at all in a sexual way, but to provide comfort.

« It's all right, my love », his bird whispers in a tender voice. « I’m here. You're not alone in carrying this burden. And I will do everything in my power to honor your mother's memory. Because I'm immensely grateful to her for you. »

Blitzø couldn't say how long he remained in his bird's incredibly appealing embrace. But night is falling and they're alone in the graveyard.

« Do you want me to portal you home? » asks Stolas after kissing his insignia.

Blitzø bites his lips and looks down.

The answer to this question is both easy and terrifying.

« I… I don't want to be alone right now », he confesses in a barely audible voice. « I know I'm going to have nightmares. »

« Would you sleep better if I were with you? Just to hold you, don't worry. I'll be a perfect gentledemon. I promise! »

Stolas' solemn, proper tone brings a smile to Blitzø's lips. Probably the first in hours.

« I don't make such promises », he says.

Although the flirty tone he'd intended is probably ruined by his croaky voice, snotty, tear-streaked face and the huge yawn he can't hold in.

Stolas chuckles and kisses his insignia once more.

« What you need, dearest, is a good night's sleep. And to breathe easier. »

A wave of purple magic washes over Blitzø and suddenly his face is perfectly dry, his nose and throat clear and he's breathing much better.

« Thank you, Stolas. »

« Anytime, darling. Now let's get you home… »

Stolas starts to get up, but Blitzø instinctively clings to him, so that his bird ends up carrying him in his arms.

« Will you stay with me? » asks Blitzø in a small voice, not daring to look him in the eye.

« Of course, Blitzy. I'll stay as long as you need me. »

Notes:

If it wasn't clear, Ozzie was typing on his phone to warn Stolas and ask him to bring the others to support Blitzø. He's a good guy, that one.
Also, don't worry for the little nightmare. Pringles was watching over her while Vanny came to support Blitzø...

That's certainly not how Blitzø envisioned bringing his pretty bird to bed. But all things in good time...
(We still don't know if it counts for the bet...)

Next chapter, we meet Shrimpy and go to visit the little nightmare.

Chapter 45: The awakening

Summary:

As far as morning after go, this one is not so bad…

Notes:

This, people, is the chapter in which we all move into Candyfloss Town, population: 2 (one Goetia, one imp). It’s the absolute fluff we needed after the last two chapters and Sinsmas' emotional rollercoaster.
I hope you enjoy it!

Merry Sinsmas! 🎄

Chapter Text

Despite the overwhelming emotions of the previous day, Blitzø slept soundly and without nightmares. Perhaps the fact that he used the fluffy chest of a pretty bird as a pillow and basked in his delicious smell has something to do with it.

And yet, when he finally opens his eyes, he's all alone in bed.

Since he used to wait for Stolas to fall asleep before leaving his room during their full moon encounters, it's nothing more than he deserves, even if he can't help feeling disappointed. At least until a soft, beloved voice whispers not far from him:

« And this one is the Andromeda Nebula. And there’s a fascinating story behind it as well. She was a beautiful princess and had to be sacrificed to a monster, you see… »

« Stolas… » growls Blitzø, rubbing his eyes with the palms of his hands. « What the fuck are you doing? »

« Oh Blitzy, you're awake! I apologize, I was trying to talk as quietly as possible… »

« Biss! Di! Sol! » happily comments Lobster.

When Blitzø turns his eyes in their direction, he realizes that his pretty bird is sitting on the floor in the corner of his room, in his underwear, with a twin on each knee. The kids are looking up at a portal Stolas created on the ceiling of his room, which opens onto a starry sky.

The glowing red eyes of his pretty bird, however, are focused on Blitzø.

Satan, how ridiculously hot he is! Looks like the imp will have to start his day with a very cold shower...

« How come they didn't wake me up? » he asks, hiding a yawn behind his arm.

« It's my fault, I'm afraid », replies Stolas with a slight blush. « Little Pepper Belle was the first to open her eyes, but you were sleeping so well it would have been a shame to wake you up, so I got up instead, to look after her. I hope you don't mind… »

Blitzø stares at him for a few seconds, mouth agape, before letting out a snort of amusement.

« Do I mind you waking up to take care of my babies so I can sleep longer? Yes, pretty bird, I do mind. It bothers me a lot, actually. But maybe if you kiss me, I'll forgive you », he retorts with his best come-hither look. « I’m generous that way… »

The fact is, he's feeling a bit foolish for losing his cool yesterday, so much so that Stolas had to comfort him like a kid. So he's being extra flirty today to compensate.

« Oh », says his pretty bird, whose blush intensifies.

He scoops up a baby in each arm and hurries to join Blitzø on the bed, peppering his face with kisses. Not what Blitzø would have expected from him, far more cute than sexy. And yet, the imp can't find the strength to complain. Not when his bird is so attentive and caring. What's more, the twins snuggle up to the bird’s chest and purr with contentment.

The whole situation has a very... domestic feel, which in the past would have been enough to make Blitzø flee, like he was risking the worst kind of STD, but now makes him sigh in happiness.

(Satan, he’s got it bad for that bird…)

« So, Blitzy, what are your plans for today? » asks Stolas, transferring the twins into their uncle’s arms.

Blitzø wonders if there's a secret message, some kind of innuendo in the question, but Stolas' expression is unflinchingly honest. He simply wants to know.

« Well... I thought I'd pay Magda and baby Shrimpy a visit at the hospital. Then go and see Vanny and her little nightmare. And end the day spending some quality time with Loony and the twins, so they don't feel abandoned. What do you think, guys? »

« Tah! »

« Di Biss kay. »

« They're on board with the program », Blitzø concludes with a smile.

Stolas chuckles and shakes his head in amusement as he reaches for his outfit, lying on the dresser next to the suit Blitzø wore yesterday. Both of which have been neatly folded. It's unusual for the imp to treat his own clothes with such care, but Stolas took the time to do it, somehow. Blitzø can't decide whether it's sexy or adorable, but it makes him love his bird even more.

Once Stolas is fully dressed, he turns to Blitzø with a smile.

« If you don't need me anymore, I'll go back to my estate. And maybe I'll spend some time with Via, Vanny and little Persephone… »

« You're so copying my plan », Blitzø retorts, rolling his eyes.

« Well, darling, I’ve learned from the best », whispers Stolas, leaning over to kiss him.

Since Blitzø's arms are full of babies, he can only wrap his tail around his bird's tiny waist to pull him closer. As for Stolas, he takes Blitzø's head between his hands and his tongue gently seeks entrance into the imp's mouth.

Blitzø is more than happy to let him in.

They are separated by two babies, one of whom is happily babbling to no one in particular, and the only points of contact between them are their mouths, Blitzø’s tail and where Stolas' hands are resting on his face. And yet, the kiss is incredibly heated. So much so that when his bird finally lets go, Blitzø's brain is more scrambled than his morning eggs. If he had his hands free, he'd grab Stolas by the shoulders and pull him towards the bed.

It's probably best that the twins are here.

Even if it doesn't really feel like it right now.

Stolas gives Pepper and Lobster a peck on the forehead, before cupping their uncle's cheek with one hand and tenderly stroking his insignia with his thumb.

Blitzø is pretty sure his cheeks glow as red as the bird’s eyes.

« Have a good day, darling. »

A sudden lump forms in his throat, that he decides to ignore for now.

« You too, pretty bird. And... er... Stolas? »

« Yes, Blitzy? »

« I… uh… well… Thank you. You know, for being here yesterday and last night », Blitzø murmurs, more than a little embarrassed.

Stolas' expression is both tender and serious.

« It's been a pleasure. Never hesitate to call, darling. I'll always be there for you. »

Blitzø's heart skips a beat and he feels something deep and meaningful pass between them, though he’s not sure what exactly.

I love you, his heart says. I love you so much. More than I ever thought I could love anyone who wasn't my kid. I never want to lose you again.

But he forces the words to remain inside, because Stolas deserves better than that from him. He deserves the true romance he dreamed of for so long. Blitzø, by no means a romantic, doesn't know exactly how to proceed. But he supposes he can start by asking the one person around him who's so good at this stuff that he could get a fucking medal for it.

He has a feeling it's going to cost him, though. Not money, but Moxxie will certainly enjoy having the upper hand for once. He’s totally going to make Blitzø work for it. Which is only fair, after everything the taller imp has put him through.

And instead of telling him to go get pegged by Millie, Blitzø will shut up and do as he's told.

For Stolas. Because he’s worth it. He’s worth everything.

Stolas is about to summon his portal when, without his permission, Blitzø's tail wraps around his wrist. Four glowing cherry-red eyes with bright white pupils turn to Blitzø, expressing both surprise and concern.

« Is everything all right, Blitzy? »

This is stupid. Blitzø has spent the whole night in his bird's arms. They may not see each other again today, maybe not tomorrow, but they're going to talk, whether it's by text or phone. As they've been doing for weeks now. So why is he suddenly so reluctant to let go?

He forces his tail to release his bird and lowers his gaze.

« I… N-No... it's nothing. »

A careful hand grasps his chin and lifts it gently, forcing him to meet Stolas' gaze.

« Darling... we've already talked about this. I told you I wanted to be there for you when you needed comfort. And after what happened yesterday, it's perfectly normal if you do. How can I make you feel better? »

Don't go, Blitzø wants to say. Not yet. Stay with me. Just a little longer, please

(When did he become so needy? Of course, his mother's birthday has been a real pain in his ass over the last sixteen years. But yesterday went much better than the rest. And afterwards, he slept like a baby. Better, even, because he didn't wake up screaming in the middle of the night. And yet, he feels... he doesn't even know how he feels.

Just that he's reluctant to let Stolas go.

(Satan, oh the tables have turned...)

He shakes his head.

« Tell me what I can do for you, my love. Otherwise, I'll worry all day. »

Blitzø's breath catches in his throat and the cluster of fire dragonflies returns with a vengeance to his stomach. He knows it's just another term of endearment and that Stolas probably didn't realize what he'd just said. But boy does he like to hear those two words in his mouth.

And how much does he want them to be true.

For Stolas to love him. Really love him. Not as much as Blitzø loves his bird, of course (not only would that be impossible, but the imp knows he doesn’t deserve it, especially with the reaction he had the first time his bird talked to him about feelings).

But if Stolas ever entrusted his heart to Blitzø, he'd make sure nothing and no one ever hurt him again.

Not even him.

(He's got to talk to Moxxie! Tod... no, not today, it's the weekend. The little bastard would probably refuse to help Blitzø if he teleported to M&M's place uninvited. But as soon as they're back at I.M.P. next week, he's going to grab that freckled nerd by the lapels of his jacket, drag him into his office and pressure him into teaching Blitzø everything he knows about romance.)

« Blitzy? » insists Stolas in a concerned tone, stroking his insignia so gently that Blitzø almost purrs.

« Biss? »

The imp realizes he was so caught up in his thoughts that he zoomed out for a long moment.

« Sorry, I... would you like to have breakfast with me? Now? I… I could cook for you? » he suggests, a bit shy all of a sudden. « Unless of course you need to… »

Stolas' expression goes from concern to joy in the blink of an eye and he claps his hands.

« I’d be delighted. Perhaps… perhaps we could even cook together? »

Blitzø can't help but smile at his enthusiastic tone.

« Of course, pretty bird. But unless you get a written note from Monique-the-Cook, you'll be confined to menial tasks until I deem you capable of moving on to more complicated things. »

Stolas pouts, but when Blitzø's tail wraps around his wrist again, he lets himself be led into the living room without protest...

Chapter 46: The babies

Summary:

The job of a Helluncle is never done…

Notes:

Thank you for your comments, and in particular those who leave them (almost) every chapter. It feels so heartwarming

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

After a good breakfast with Stolas, Loony, Gil and the twins, Blitzø heads off to see Magda in hospital. He's very tempted to ask his gorgeous bird to accompany him, but Stolas has things to do, including spending time with his own daughter, and Blitzø doesn't feel entitled to make such demands. What's more, Magda probably wouldn't feel very comfortable if he came to visit her with someone she’s never even met. It's about her and Shrimpy, after all, not Blitzø.

So he kisses his bird and wishes him a good day, telling himself he'll see him again soon enough. After all, Vanny is his next stop, and she lives with him!

Blitzø then leaves the twins with Loony, who's much more comfortable alone with them these days (besides, Kiki and Mrs. K are only two floors away) and summons a portal so that he and Gil can get to the hospital, as the young hellhound has expressed her desire to also visit their friend from the support group.

As it turns out, the plump succubus is in a room almost as nice as Vanny's during her own stay. The explanation for this unexpected luxury is cradling in his arm a dark blue baby with a tuft of light pink hair, tiny wings and a big scaly tail ending in a rattle, humming a lullaby in a deep, surprisingly sexy voice. A small imp sits on his lap, his gaze ranging from the sleeping baby to the much larger blue demon, with a mixture of tenderness and awe.

Madga is nowhere to be seen.

« Fizzies? Ozzie? » exclaims Blitzø, a little surprised. « What the hell are you two doing here? »

« Hey Blitzø! » replies his friend, hopping down from his boyfriend’s lap to bounce towards him.

Fizz hugs him tight and gives him a smile that barely conceals the concern he feels.

« Magda is one of Ozzie's top assistants, in case you've forgotten. She's also part of the reason we created the support group, remember? Hello ! » he adds, with a little wave to Gil, who has positioned herself behind Blitzø.

« Morning », retorts the hellhound girl in a flat voice.

Even though she has grown much closer to Blitzø over the past week, revealing a more jovial and warm side to her personality, the teenager remains aloof around strangers. Although the presence of the Embodiment of Lust himself in the room could also play a part in her current behavior.

« I thought I was the reason you founded the support group », Blitzø retorts with a raised eyebrow. « And where is the young mother? »

« You were the main reason… » concedes Fizz sheepishly.

« Ha! I knew it! »

« …but not the only one. Lavender and Magda really needed someone, and you were the most qualified for the role. Don't even try to argue; you're already Helluncle to two of the babies born to the members, and I doubt it’s for your pretty eyes! »

« I’ll have you know these eyes are very pretty. I got them from my mom », Blitzø retorts with mock indignation, to hide the fact that he's suddenly feeling extremely emotional.

It's not so surprising, after his breakdown yesterday, but he hates losing it in front of others. He wishes Stolas were here so he could bury his head in his chest feathers and breathe in his comforting scent. Which completely defeats the purpose and makes him feel ashamed and stupid.

(Blitzø coped for years without the bird, he should be able to clear his head on his own, bless it!)

« Sure thing, buddy », his friend replies, patting him on the back. « And to answer your question, Magda took advantage of our presence here to take a shower and put on something nice. She should be back in a few minutes. »

He points to a door off to the side and, now that Blitzø's attention has been drawn to it, he can actually hear water running.

« Cool », says Gil, who goes to sit on a chair opposite where Ozzie is still rocking the baby.

The Sin gives her a curious look, but doesn't comment. He nods to Blitzø in greeting, who nods back.

« So... um... how have you been since yesterday? » asks Fizz, and Blitzø can see how hard his friend tries not to use potentially triggering words.

« I’m… uh... I'm okay. For the most part », adds Blitzø, knowing that despite all the time they've spent apart, Fizz is the only person who knows all his tells. « St... um... Stolas stayed with me to make sure I didn't have any nightmares. »

He can't bring himself to admit that he was the one who asked the bird to stay. Having debilitating nightmares like a child is humiliating enough.

Fortunately, Fizz doesn't press the issue. Instead, he gives him a knowing grin and asks:

« Does it mean... you and the princey… are you officially an item? »

« We're not… » begins Blitzø, old reflexes catching up with him, before remembering that Stolas is officially his bird now and feeling himself blush. « Yeah... I guess we are. »

« Finally! » comments Ozzie with a big, goofy grin.

« And you got him into bed too? »

It's not the words themselves that set Blitzø off, but Fizz's sly expression. An alarm bell suddenly rings in the mind of the taller imp.

« No. Absolutely not. It wasn't like that. And fuck you all for making that bet. We just cuddled, okay? »

Blitzø's cheeks are on fire. In a way, this admission is even worse than letting his friend think they were going at it all night, but he figures this whole romance shit involves showing his vulnerability, or something.

(He really should talk to Moxxie about it. The sooner the better.)

« Why not? » Fizz asks, frowning. « You're totally into him and he adores you. »

« Froggie, stop! » intervenes the Sin in a sing-song voice. « That's their business, not yours. »

« There doesn't seem to be any ‘business’ at all », retorts the jester imp with a pout, « and that's what worries me. »

« Don't. Let them work it out in their own time. »

Fizzies huffs and seems about to protest when the door opens on Magda, dressed in a silky pink robe, over a matching frilly nightie. She has bags under her eyes, but otherwise looks radiant. She flashes Blitzø a beaming smile.

« There you are! » she exclaims happily. « Let me introduce you to your nephew. »

With slow, fluid motions, Ozzie gets up, walks towards them and places the baby in his mother's arms. The little thing (which now that he’s closer looks indigo rather than blue) doesn't even open its eyes. Blitzø notices that, while the baby's upper body is rather incubus-shaped, apart from its coloring, the lower part is entirely snakelike.

« I guess he's as narcoleptic as Lobster », Blitzø comments with a grin. « So the father's an Envious demon, I take it? »

« Looks like it », Magda replies with a shrug. « I still don't remember the guy, to be honest. But who cares? Not only can I manage perfectly well on my own, but Lavender and I have decided to get a bigger apartment together, with three bedrooms for the four of us. Though I expect there'll soon be five of us… »

Her satisfied smirk and wiggling eyebrows make the identity of the fifth fairly obvious. Now that he knows the hybrid a little better, Blitzø is really happy for them. Jesse's a good guy and will probably be a better role model for Pickle and Shrimpy than Blitzø is for the twins.

(He doesn't doubt for a second that the hunky bouncer knows that Lavender, Magda and the two kids are a package deal... one the guy will be more than happy to sign up for.)

« So... Blitzø, this is your nephew, Damian Shrimpy. Baby, this is your uncle Blitzø. Here, take him », she says, placing the baby in the arms of a very astounded imp.

It’s only by muscle memory that he starts rocking the baby.

« You named him Shrimpy ? » he asks, grinning like an idiot.

« I named him Damian », corrects Magda, scrunching up her nose. « But yes, I've gotten so used to calling him Shrimpy that he'd feel incomplete without it… »

« Hello Shrimpy », whispers Blitzø.

The baby is much bigger than the little nightmare, or even the twins at the same age. As Magda herself is rather short, he imagines that the father must be a tall motherfucker. Luckily for him, Shrimpy is also pretty cute. A thousand times cuter than Stolas and his baby sister at birth, to be honest. Although, now that she's covered in down feathers and her eyes have started to open (they glow like all Goetia’s, but rather than Stolas’ red or Via’s pink, they’re imp golden, with dark pupils), the little nightmare’s looks have improved a lot.

Blitzø spends a good two hours with Magda and Shrimpy, holding the little boy most of the time. Magda tries to encourage Gil to take him in her arms a couple of times, but the teenager flatly refuses. She still intends to have nothing to do with babies in general (even at home, Gil makes sure to have as little interaction with the twins as possible), which makes everyone in the group worry that she'll go through with the adoption process. And while it's essential to let her make her own decision, Blitzø is terrified that the kid will wake up one day and realize she's made a terrible mistake and it's now too late to turn back.

« We should be leaving the hospital tomorrow », declares Magda, « so I'll be there for the support group meeting. »

« I told you you should stay in the hospital a few more days, get some rest… », begins Ozzie, rubbing his forehead with two fingers.

His weary tone suggests to Blitzø that they've had this conversation several times before.

« And I told you I don't trust any of these fools to make sure that the new shipments of flavored dildos are up to code! » retorts Magda, crossing her arms belligerently.

« What if they delivered the dildos here? » suggests Blitzø.

The succubus opens and closes her mouth, her expression both pensive and sulky. Fizz gives Blitzø a thumbs up and Asmodeus a grateful look.

« Would this be acceptable to you? » asks the King of Lust to the succubus.

« I… guess », she grumbles reluctantly. « But wait, what about the support group? »

« Well, if Ozzie can work it out with the nurses, I suppose we could do it here. That way you'll be comfortable, we can all cuddle baby Shrimpy and everyone wins. »

« I knew you were going to be the best Helluncle! » Magda declares, throwing herself at Blitzø with tears in her eyes.

Since he literally did nothing, Blitzø assumes that hormones are still wreaking havoc with the poor woman's emotions.

After saying his goodbyes and making a detour to his apartment to drop Gil off, he heads for Stolas' palace. This time, his anxiety levels are much milder than on previous occasions, and he can make it to the front door without even slowing down. He barely has time to knock before it opens on Pringles. The imp butler nods politely.

« Mr. Buckzø. It's a pleasure to see you again. I suppose you're here to see Miss Vanny? I'm afraid the Prince had to leave at short notice to meet Prince Vassago, but he made sure the staff knew you were expected. Monique has prepared some flaming cheese puffs for you. »

Blitzø can’t help but be a little disappointed to know he won't be seeing his bird tonight.

(Which makes him a selfish, greedy bastard, since he's supposed to be there for the young mother and has already spent the entire night in Stolas’ arms.)

« Thank you Pringles. Is Vanny in her room? »

« No, actually she's in the little boudoir with Princess Via. I'll show you. »

Blitzø has no idea what a boo’d-war is, but he follows Pringles' lead anyway. It's actually a pretty room decorated in pastel tones, with lots of armchairs, plush carpets and cushions everywhere.

Vanny's face lights up when she sees him (which makes him feel even more of a selfish bastard, thinking of his earlier disappointment), and even Via gives him a smile.

« Blitzø! Stolas told me you'd probably stop by today. »

« I hope you didn't wait. I was visiting Magda. »

« Not at all. How is she? And the baby? »

Blitzø is in the middle of summing up his visit to the succubus when he hears little chirps coming from the crib next to Vanny. The pretty imp leans over to pick up her baby, dressed in an adorable blue-gray owl onesie. It takes Blitzø a few seconds to realize that neither of them is wearing sterilized clothes.

« Has the doctor finally given her the go-ahead to leave that fucking incubator? »

Vanny nods with a happy smile, before handing him the baby. It's only been a few days since Blitzø saw the little nightmare, but her down feathers are much denser and fluffier. Her beak curls up into a quasi-smile as she lets out a little chirp, and Blitzø feels something melt in his chest.

(He really hopes she’ll stay at this level of adorableness and won’t grow up to be as pretty as her mother and uncle, because that would mean he'd have a ton of new problems protecting her as a teenager. If she does, though, he’ll do what needs to be done. And all teenage boys and sexually aggressive teenage girls have had both arms and all fingers broken at one time or another, right?)

« Would you like some cheese puffs, Blitzø? » Octavia offers, and the imp is so shocked by her unexpected kindness that he can only stare at her. « Dad... er... he said you like them. »

« Um… Sure. Thanks. »

This seems so much more important than the Princess simply being a good hostess in her father's absence that Blitzø's throat goes dry. Still, he forces himself to eat a few cheese puffs, which are even more delicious than Thanissa's. He's got to find Monique-the-Cook and bribe her to make him some more!

He ends up spending a few hours in the palace, partly because he wants to be an involved and present Helluncle, partly because he enjoys Vanny's company (and even Octavia's, now that she’s a lot less hostile… almost friendly). And partly because Blitzø still hopes to see Stolas, even if he's a little ashamed to admit it, if only to himself.

But his bird never arrives, the hour grows late and his kids need him too. Gil could cook them dinner, in theory, but Blitzø is the dad, and it's both his job and his privilege to look after them. So he kisses Vanny and her little nightmare good-bye and waves to Octavia, who responds with an almost shy smile. Then he summons a portal that takes him straight to his apartment.

Where neither Loony nor the twins seem to be. Only Gil sits on the sofa, nervously petting her tail between her legs.

« Hey, Gil. Is everything okay? Where are the others? »

« I… uh... I asked Loony if she'd mind going to Mrs. K's for a few hours while I waited for you » she replies without looking at him. « I wanted to talk to you. Alone. »

Notes:

A little moment of culture here: a boudoir is a french word which literally means 'a place to pout'. We french-speaking people don't use it very often, but still... I can't imagine Stolas NOT having such a room in his palace, don't you? 🤭

Next chapter... is either going to be angsty or super cute. We'll see...

Chapter 47: Interlude 4: The Prince who’s torn between friendship and love

Summary:

A lot has changed over the last few weeks, and Stolas is delighted. But not everyone feels the same…

Notes:

It’s the weekend people. And that apparently means I’m super creative. So it’s double chapter, tonight. Yay!

The downside is… turns out the next chapter will be the super cute one. 🤞

I just hope you’ll like this one as well…

Chapter Text

« Would any of you like to share something? » Asmodeus asks after they've finished their mantra.

Four hands go up in the air, all belonging to the same person.

« Yes, Angie? »

« Actually, I'd like to know if Stolly has finally managed to get his hot Impy into bed? »

Stolas feels himself blushing more and more by the second.

« I’m curious too », declares Bobby with a little smile.

The other members of the support group nod or hum in agreement, including Verosika. Even the young hellhound nods silently. None of them has heard the sound of his voice, and they still don't know his name, despite the fact that he's shown up at every meeting since he joined the group almost three months ago. His attitude is as aloof as ever, but his wagging tail betrays his interest nonetheless.

Asmodeus gives Stolas a sympathetic look.

« You know you don't have to talk if you don’t feel like it, right birdie babe? »

Stolas gives him a small smile in return and demurely folds his hands in his lap.

The fact is, he’ll always want to talk about Blitzy. His darling imp is such a big part of his life and heart that Stolas can't imagine any significant event to which he wouldn't be linked, in one way or another.

And there has been more than one such event since the last support group meeting, three weeks ago.

(They had to postpone this one, as Asmodeus was urgently summoned to an exceptional meeting with the other Sins. Apparently, Mammon had once again tried to get him into trouble over his imp lover. But with Queen Beelzebub telling the Sin of Greed to choke on a bag of dicks and Queen Belphegor snoring loudly in the middle of his official list of recriminations, the other Sins decided to adjourn the meeting rather quickly.)

Incidentally, after all this time, Stolas did indeed manage to get his beloved into bed three nights ago. Admittedly, there was no sex, not even a kiss, apart from a few gentle pecks, but Blitzy let Stolas spoon him all night. Better still, it was his darling imp himself who asked him to stay. The owl would be lying if he claimed he didn't want more from his beloved, but he'd gladly trade a thousand nights of passion for one of tenderness freely given and received. Besides, his Blitzy was so adorably confused when he woke up the morning after. And so cute when he tried to hide his embarrassment behind a bold attitude.

And that kiss!

Despite the fact that Blitzy had babies in his arms (or perhaps because of it, as his heart of gold and absolute devotion to all his children make him even more attractive to Stolas), this kiss was one of the hottest they'd ever exchanged.

Due to their respective schedules, they haven't seen each other since, although they have exchanged a few sweet texts, but the memory of the night and the kiss alone would be enough to keep the owl happy for a whole month.

His delight must be written all over his face, because Angie gives him an appreciative little smirk.

« Wow, that's good, huh? I knew this guy was into you as soon as I saw him. »

« You saw Blitzo? » asks Verosika, looking both surprised and a little miffed. « When? How? »

« The o is silent », he retorts by reflex.

The succubus grunts in exasperation, but it's not his fault she insists on calling his beloved by his former name.

« Oh fine », she growls, rolling her eyes. « When did you see Blitzø? »

« Stolly invited me to this cute little coffee shop in Imp City last week, and Impy just happened to walk in with a group of friends while we were there », Angie replies with a shrug and a dismissive wave of one of his hands, before adding, to the other members of the group: « He's a hottie. And he's got BDE. »

« He's got what? »

« Big Dick Energy », replies Bobby casually, and Angie goes for a high five.

Stolas feels himself blushing. As far as he's concerned, the energy in question is amply justified.

Verosika's unconvinced expression and raised eyebrow make it clear that she's not convinced. Since she's also slept with his darling imp, Stolas assumes it is the ‘by chance’ part she doesn't believe for a second. And rightfully so. He is therefore expecting a very unpleasant discussion with his succubus friend in the near future. Stolas is not exactly thrilled about it, but he also knows that it’s Verosika’s way of showing she cares. So he will comply without protest.

« Let me guess… » she says with another roll of her eyes. « Two tiny imps and a hellhound? »

« Yup. And also this tall, thin and very pregnant succubus. »

Stolas and Verosika both freeze.

Well, shit.

As far as the owl knows, Kiki hasn't contacted Verosika since she quit her job nearly three months ago. If he understood correctly, she has remained loosely in touch with another employee of Verosika, who in turn keeps her boss informed of Kiki's situation. Stolas, for his part, has stayed as far away from the whole situation as possible. He sympathizes with Verosika's pain, knowing that she deeply cares for Kiki, and that she's hurt that the other succubus didn't even speak with her before leaving for good. But at the same time, he doesn't want to betray Blitzy’s or Kiki's trust. And he doesn't know the pregnant succubus well enough to try and plead Verosika's case.

« Kiki? » Verosika murmurs in a blank voice, her expression a mixture of hurt, betrayal and confusion. « And Blitzø? »

« They're just friends », Solas hastens to reply, although Verosika's expression makes it clear that this isn’t why she’s upset.

« When? How? » she asks instead.

Stolas feels really uncomfortable, because it is really not his place to talk about Kiki’s life, but not answering Verosika’s questions at all would seem even more wrong. He sighs.

« I don't have all the details, but what I know is that she met him a few weeks before she quit your employment. That also coincides with the time when she joined the support group. »

Verosika frowns.

« A support group? For what? »

« Single parents », replies Asmodeus in a calm voice. « Blitzø is the host, actually. »

Verosika looks even more confused.

« So... he left the mother but kept the kids? » she asks after a moment's thought.

Stolas realizes that she knew about the twins, but thought they were his Blitzy’s. He can't blame her, because it was the first thing he himself thought of when he saw Pepper Belle the night his beloved imp pleaded with him to come to the hospital.

(The second and third were, respectively, « How can he be even sexier with a baby in his arms? » and « Oh Lucifer no, I'm too late, I've lost him forever! ».)

« The children are not his. Not biologically anyway », he corrects, because everything in his darling's behavior claims he is the twins’ father, not just their uncle. « They're in fact his sister's children. She left them with him. »

« It's even more riveting than a Hell-a-novela », Angie comments in a soft but perfectly audible voice.

Stolas understands his point of view, and sees a certain irony in it, for there was a time when living a hell-a-novelife was all he ever dreamed of. Today, he just wants things between him and his beloved to be easy and simple. No drama, no great declarations, just soft kisses and cuddles at night.

(Well... maybe just a dash of passion and a tiny declaration. There are three little words the owl longs to hear his darling imp say, but he doesn't want to be too greedy. This time, Stolas has learned his lesson. He'll settle for what Blitzy can and will give him, without expecting more.)

« Go suck a holy sword, Angie », growls Verosika, with a murderous glare.

« Verosika, I'd like to remind you that this is a safe and benevolent place, where we respect the other members. As for Angie, please don't make other members uncomfortable with inappropriate comments », Asmodeus gently but firmly reprimands.

The sinner mimes zipping his mouth shut, but Verosika rises to her feet.

« I… I've got to go », she says, before leaving the room without a backward glance.

Stolas follows her outside.

« Verosika, wait! » he calls to her.

She stops, but doesn't turn towards him. He hears her sniffle and feels a painful twinge in his heart.

« You knew », she says in a broken voice. « You knew where she was, all along, and you knew how worried I was, and you didn't tell me. I thought you were my friend! »

Stolas puts a hand on her shoulder.

« I am your friend, Verosika. And I'm sorry. I really am. It's just... It didn't feel right telling you where Kiki was, knowing she didn't want to be found. »

« Are you sure that's the truth? Didn't your dear Blitzo poison both of you against me? »

She turns a furious face towards him, spitting out the name like an insult. Stolas' instinct is to defend his beloved. But Verosika is his friend, she's hurt and it's partly because of him. So he tries to remain calm and simply replies:

« He told her to call you. I'm pretty sure he's the reason she's talking to your other employee again. »

« Really? How would you know? » asks Verosika, not even trying to mask her skepticism.

« Because Blitzy... Blitzø told me. And we both know he's a lot of things, but not a liar », he adds, when she scoffs in derision.

Verosika crosses her arms and sniffles again, looking so vulnerable all of a sudden that Stolas finds himself pulling her into his arms, surprising them both.

« I’m sorry I didn't tell you. If I had it to do over again... I'd probably act the same way, because I think it's up to Kiki to decide for herself, but I'd try to be a better, more supportive friend to you.

But please, learn from my mistakes. Don't go to her, wait until she's ready to come to you. The only thing you'd accomplish by barging in on her right now would be to push her further away » he pleads, searching her gaze.

The fact is that every detail, every mistake of that terrible full-moon night, many months ago, will remain forever etched in his memory.

It's true that Blitzy was downright dismissive of his feelings and hurtful, even cruel, in his comments that night. He apologized for it, which went a long way towards soothing Stolas' pain. But Stolas himself was both so nervous and so eager that he ruined everything. If he'd taken the time to prepare his dearest imp for what he was about to do, to explain his feelings, to make it clear that the owl didn't want him to trade his favors for anything anymore but just wanted to help him, without pressure, without expectations, maybe this would have been avoided.

Except that it would have been a lie.

Stolas may not have been aware of it at the time, but he was still waiting for a reward. He secretly hoped that if he showed his darling imp that he cared enough to let him go, his beloved would fall into his arms and confess that his feelings had been mutual all along. This would allow him to rewrite the past and turn a sordid transaction into a beautiful, if initially unorthodox love story.
But of course, that's not how Blitzy reacted. Because that's not how he felt. Stolas never gave him the chance. He made it a deal from the very beginning. And worst of all, when his beloved didn't behave as in the perfect scenario he had in mind (while simultaneously and very ironically acting as if it were a completely different scenario), Stolas…

« You're going to throw me out! I'm going to screw everything up, as usual, and you're going to throw me out like a piece of trash. Just like last time! »

Of all the things Blitzy has said to him, this is the one that hurts the most. It probably always will, at least a little. Because the imp didn't try to be hurtful, he wasn't even angry... As far as Stolas can tell, his poor darling wasn't fully aware of what he was saying, so distressed was he.

Because of Stolas. Of the appalling way he'd reacted during their argument on the full moon. The first they'd ever had. Yes, Stolas was deeply hurt, because Blitzy's words had cut him to the bone and torn his poor, already bruised heart into a million pieces. But in the end, he proved him right, didn't he? He proved that he'd never treated the imp he claimed to love as an equal, not even to let him speak his mind. He teleported him away, because he was the one with the status and the magic.

Well, never again.

This time, he's going to prove to Blitzy and the rest of Hell that he couldn't care less about status, rank or power. The only things that really matter are his daughter and the man he loves.

Everything else is secondary

« I… » Verosika says, doubt and sadness showing in her big eyes, but then shakes her head, straightens her shoulders, turns her back on him and walks away.

Part of Stolas wants to apologize and make her talk to him again. Another part wants to grab her and talk to her until she understands.

He does neither.

He made his mistakes, he learned his lesson the hard way; if he's really Verosika’s friend, he has to let her make her own choices.

And when she needs him, he'll be there.

Chapter 48: The dilemma

Summary:

After fifteen years and for the second time, Blitzø goes to see his Moma’s grave. Because he really needs her advice.

Notes:

So... I know I promised a super-cute chapter, and there will be a super-cute part at the end... but it turns out it's a lot heavier than I expected when I started, because Blitzø has to deal with some pretty heavy topics, and they can't be brushed off with a wave of the hand.

Be aware that there's a brief allusion to SA in this chapter and a longer reflection on the implications. If you think this might be triggering for you, you can skip to after these:

**********

Chapter Text

Four days have passed since Blitzø's last visit to the graveyard. He hadn't expected to be back so soon, but he needs to talk to someone about the discussion he’s had with Gil three days ago, and somehow the first person he thought of was Moma.

(To be honest, she's the one he's thought of every time he's faced a difficult decision or an upsetting discussion over the last sixteen years. Even before that. His entire life, really. The only difference is that, until now, Blitzø wouldn't even allow himself to consider going to see her, but put the idea off instead because he didn't think he deserved it.

He's still not convinced he does now, but he's here anyway. Because there's no one else he can talk to until he's made up his own mind.)

At least, this time, Blitzø doesn't hesitate on the way, because he knows what to expect.

Or so he thought, until he finds himself in front of the marble monument. It's the right one, because there's still the bittersweet, strangely comforting but undeserved epitaph (at least as far as Blitzø is concerned) and the dozens of vases filled with colorful flowers, only they've been pushed to the side, to make room for fresh blooms. The marble stone is now covered with a climbing plant, dotted with small white flowers, but the epitaph is still entirely visible. Not only does it harmonize perfectly with the stone, it also smells wonderful. The plant is far from being the only one: all around the stone, all kinds of flowers have been planted, each in a different shade of red. They're all in bloom, and together they make Moma's grave truly magnificent.

Tears well up in Blitzø's eyes. Moma would have been delighted. She adored flowers, and since Cash Buckzo was too stingy to buy her any, her sons and daughter made sure to offer her some as often as they could.

(And since Blitzø wasn't as good at entertaining passers-by as Fizz and Barbie, he ended up stealing some from the market more than once, or even sneaking a few from wealthier neighborhoods.

He never told Moma, though, because he didn't want her to worry, be disappointed or, worse, forbid him to keep bringing her flowers.)

Fizz must have paid a fortune for these. They're resplendent, as if they'd been growing for weeks, if not months, so there must be magic involved. And as Blitzø knows only too well, magic never comes cheap.

(Of course, as the official boyfriend of the King of Lust, not to mention his most sought-after performer, Fizz can afford to buy a ton of flowers, even magical ones. But it’s Blitzø’s Moma too, and he feels he must do something special to show her, wherever she is, that her little lava pepper has never forgotten her and that she’s still very much present in his heart.

Unfortunately, his skills as an assassin won't do him much good. Blitzø doubts that Moma would be very happy to have her gravestone decorated with a garland of hands linked by intestines.
As for the small bouquet he's brought, it isn't nearly enough, especially since the flowers don't match the much prettier ones surrounding the grave.

A little panicked, he rummages around in his suit pocket until he finds the little notebook and ballpoint pen he always keeps with him and comes up with an idea. Sitting down on the ground, he puts the notebook on his lap and starts drawing Barbie, Fizz and himself as kids, with Moma smiling at them.

Although Blitzø was as careful and precise as possible, the result is far from perfect. He has made a few erasures and the ink has smudged in places. Nevertheless, he neatly tears the sheet from the notebook, folds it and places it between a bunch of flowers. He's not entirely sure it will hold, but it's only a temporary placeholder anyway.

« Hello Moma », he says softly, sitting down a little more comfortably in front of the grave. « It's me. Your little lava pepper, all grown up. I didn't really have time to chat with you the other day, and I wanted to. But first, let me say I'm sorry I didn't come to see you sooner. It's not that I didn't miss you, Moma. I did. So much. It's just that I… it didn't feel right, after... after what happened. »

His tears are now running down his cheeks. Blitzø must be awful to look at, because he's always been an ugly crier, but he also knows Moma won't mind. After all, she's always been the one to comfort him as a kid... and even later.

« So... I'm an assassin now. I know you wouldn't be too happy with my choice of work, but know that we only kill humans, after which they either go to Heaven or here and live their real lives anyway, so it's not like it's a problem. The most important thing is that I've started my own business. I'm a boss now. And I'm a good boss, Moma. Well... mostly a good boss. I have three employees: there's Millie, one of my two best friends, but don't tell Fizzies, he'll be upset. Then there's Moxxie, who's a bitchy dork, but very clever and he knows a lot of stuff. And the third is your granddaughter Loony. She's my adopted daughter, she's super smart and beautiful and she's the best thing that ever happened to me. I know you'd love her. »

More tears flow at the thought that, accident or not, what he did at the circus that fateful day deprived Loony of a kind, generous and understanding grandmother, who would have always been there for her.

Blitzø wipes his cheeks with his sleeve and talks about Loony, the twins, his work, his new apartment, Kiki, Mrs. K and his renewed friendship with Fizz. The only things he purposely avoids are Barbie, Stolas and the support group. He's not quite ready to unpack those stories yet. But he's here for a reason, after all...

« Uh... I'm... I've come to see you to get your opinion on something. You see, I... as I told you, Barbie left her twins with me for a while, because she... she's not feeling very well. She hasn't for a while. »

He wouldn't deliberately lie to his Moma. He never has. Not once. But that doesn't mean he always told her the whole truth, either.

« And since I'm still single at the ripe age of 37, Fizzies had this crazy idea of asking me to lead a support group for single moms. Well... single parents, since I'm part of that group. That's where I met Kiki, by the way. Well, sort of, I knew her a little before, but we weren't really friends. In fact, it was rather the opposite… »

Blitzø knows he's rambling, but he's so nervous about the situation. The stakes are painfully high and weigh heavy on his shoulders.

« Anyway, there's this girl in the group, Gil... she's a kid, really. I think she's barely sixteen. And she's pregnant. Because her asshole ex-boyfriend apparently doesn't understand the meaning of the word 'no’. »

The sentence ends with a growl. Blitzø’s fists clench instinctively, as they did when Gil told him what really happened to her. Something she didn't mention to anyone else, not even Loony, because she didn't want them to look at her differently. Yet she confided in Blitzø. In a way, he feels he's betraying her truth by telling Moma, but it's not as if she's going to repeat it to anyone. Plus he knows that, even if she were there in person, and not just in spirit, Moma wouldn't judge, but would be the kind, gentle, soothing person she's always been.

She'd probably be far more helpful than Blitzø himself, to be honest. He was a piece of shit to a lot of people, starting with those he slept with, as Verosika made sure everyone knew. Yet for all his faults, Blitzø never did anything to any of his exes without their enthusiastic consent. He suffered unsavory things in a past so distant that it feels like another life, because he had no other choice at the time, and he would never do that to anyone else. That's why the idea that someone could do such things to a sweet, innocent kid like Gil makes him furious. And the fact that her own parents turn their backs on her as if she were the one who'd done something wrong... Blitzø was too kind during his previous visit to their home. This time, he's going to get really creative. And he thrives on chaos.

The only reason Gil's scumbag ex-boyfriend is still breathing right now is that she refused to tell Blitzø his name. But if he ever finds out who the creep is, the imp will definitely pay him a visit and remove a few parts of his anatomy with a razor. Starting with one in particular…

« She's so brave, Moma. She's decided to keep the baby, because he's... she told me it's a little boy... innocent of what happened. But she thinks that seeing him would remind her every day of what happened, and she's afraid of coming to resent him. That's why she decided to put him up for adoption... », he adds with a sob, hurt and angry at what the poor girl has gone through and, as a matter of fact, still does.

Behind her initial coldness, behind the softer aspects of her personality that she has begun to show Blitzø and Loony over the past two weeks, Gil has a will of steel. What's more, she shows great maturity, certainly more than Blitzø at her age. Probably more than Blitzø right now, to be honest. And yet, she shouldn't. She should be concentrating on furthering her studies or getting ready for a concert, not trying to find the baby growing inside her a better home than the one she had.

**********

Blitzø presses his palms against his eyelids, as if to stop the tears flowing, and breathes deeply until he's a little calmer.

« Three days ago, she asked me if I would adopt her baby », Blitzø says when he's feeling a little better, even though he still has a big lump in his throat. « She said I was a good father and could provide a good home for the kid. »

(That's not exactly what Gil said. In fact, she was much more complimentary. But Blitzø still doesn't welcome praise he deems himself unworthy of.)

« It should be a no-brainer, Moma. I should have said yes on the spot, because I know that I wouldn’t let anyone touch that kid. Just like I wouldn’t let anyone put a finger on my Loony or the twins. But that’s the problem, you see. Because apart from Loony, but she’s already an adult and will leave the house soon enough… » Blitzø sobs a little at that idea, despite knowing how important being independent is for his Loony-Toony. « Apart from Loony, they’re not mine. They will never be. Sooner or later, Barbie will come back for the twins. And I have to hope, for the baby’s sake as much as for her own, that Gil will in fact come to love the kid and want him back. Because any kid would be better with their mom than with me… »

He buries his head in his hands and starts sobbing violently, his whole body shaking. But this time, there's no Fizz to hold him and purr in his ear. Nor is there a Millie, a Moxxie or a Vanny.
But there is a Stolas.

« It's all right, Blitzy. It's all right, my love. I'm here now. »

Strong arms cradle him tenderly, and he is lifted into a tender embrace, until his head rests against a pillow of deliciously scented chest feathers. Blitzø doesn't know by what miracle his bird is there at the precise moment he feels so low. He can't think rationally. He can only feel and feels so deeply.

« I don't want to lose my babies! » he wails.

He doesn't even understand how Stolas can make sense of what he's saying, between his shrill voice, his face buried in feathers and his sobs, but his bird gets it perfectly all the same.

« Nobody's going to take them away from you, dearest. I won't let them. I promise. »

For the second time in just a few days, Blitzø finds himself sobbing in the arms of the man he loves. And just as before, Stolas embraces him as if he were precious to him, gently rubbing his back, whispering soothing words and placing tender kisses on his face.

Much later, when Blitzø has finally calmed down, he looks up at Stolas, who wipes away the tears still clinging to his eyelashes with his thumbs.

« Feeling better, darling? »

A little ashamed, now that the storm has passed, Blitzø lowers his eyes.

« Yeah », he says, his voice hoarse from crying so much. « I’m sorry I freaked out again. »

Stolas puts his thumb and forefinger under his chin and lifts it gently, forcing Blitzø to meet his gaze. His white pupils are clearly visible and his expression is so tender that Blitzø melts and winces at the same time. He knows he doesn’t deserve it.

« Don’t », says his bird with a gentle, yet firm voice. « Darling, you must never apologize for feeling sad. I've told you before and I'll tell you again, as many times as you need to hear it: It's my privilege to take care of you, Blitzy. A privilege I wouldn't trade with anyone, ever. »

Later, Blitzø will probably blame the situation, Moma's grave, his worry about Gil, his heightened emotions. But for now, he can't contain himself.

« I love you », he blurts out, almost against his will. « Stolas, I love you so much. »

Chapter 49: The declaration

Summary:

Blitzø hadn’t intended to make a mess of his very first declaration of love, but he’s not exactly surprised either…

Notes:

I know that last chapter was pretty intense and a bit rough, emotionally speaking.
This is my apology.

I hope you’ll like it! 🩷

As usual, thanks for your comments and kudos. 😊

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Blitzø is so overwhelmed by his own feelings that he doesn't even realize the thought hasn't stayed in his mind this time... until Stolas' pupils widen and he takes a sudden, shocked breath.
It's as if someone has thrown a bucket of ice water in Blitzø's face.

« Bli... Blitzy? » his bird murmurs, hesitating.

There's a question in his eyes. One he clearly doesn't dare ask out loud. Is he disappointed? Blitzø certainly hadn't intended to confess his feelings this way. He had planned to go and see Moxxie and prepare something truly romantic. Not only has his bird always dreamed of experiencing a grand Hell-a-novela gesture, but he deserves much better than a tearful, snot-covered imp screaming his love like he's a fish seller in Greed.

« I’m sorry », he murmurs. « I didn't plan to tell you like this. »

This time, Stolas' eyes fill with tears and Blitzø's heart breaks into a thousand pieces.

« Oh please, my bird, don't cry. I'm sorry. I'll never say it again, I sw… »

« You love me? »

Stolas looks so surprised, so uncertain, so hopeful all at once that Blitzø can't help himself: he takes his pretty face between his hands and brushes the soft feathers of his cheeks with his thumbs.

« Of course I love you, you stupid bird. I've been in love with you for months. I missed you like crazy when you weren't around. I've been meaning to make a big declaration, because I know it's what you've always wanted, but I messed it up. It's the lack of practice. I've never told anyone except my kids and my Moma, you know », he says, punctuating his words with a multitude of little kisses all over his face.

Under his gaze, Stolas' pupils take on the shape of little fluttering hearts.

« Oh Blitzy! » he says, « This is the most perfect declaration ever. It makes me so happy. I thought I'd never hear it, that you'd never love me! »

He cries again, and this time it's Blitzø who chases away the tears. Except he does it with his lips.

« Don't cry, my pretty bird », he whispers tenderly. « I love you. »

Turns out this isn't the way to go, as Stolas cries even harder. They seem to be tears of joy, so Blitzø repeats the words once, twice, three times, until his bird embraces him so tightly he can hardly breathe. Blitzø kisses him then, lips to beak, and it's infinitely more tender and gentle than any kiss they've shared before. What’s more, Stolas' eyes stare longingly into his, with their heart-shaped pupils that seem to pulse to the rhythm of his own heart and Blitzø feels himself melt even more.

Even if something ugly twists in his stomach at the thought that the man he loves hasn’t reciprocated his feelings.

(Blitzø tries to reason with himself. Maybe Stolas doesn't love him. He’s still not sure he deserves to be loved, anyway. But his bird clearly cares about him. That should be more than enough.
It isn't.)

Blitzø lets out a mournful little sigh.

« Blitzy? » asks his bird, frowning. « Is something wrong? »

« No... It's nothing », he says, because it doesn't really matter.

(Except that for him, it does. It shouldn’t, but it does. And yet, he doesn't want to ruin the moment for Stolas any further.)

« Clearly it's something. You're shaking, darling », Stolas retorts in a concerned voice, gently rubbing his back and arms.

« Too much emotions », Blitzø deflects, with a shrug.

Because he's not a greedy bitch.

(In fact, he sadly is. But he tries very hard not to be. Blitzø wants to become a better person, for himself first and foremost, but also for his bird. Besides, if Stolas feels obliged to say the words to please him, they won’t mean a thing.)

« My love, please tell me. »

« Do you… » Blitzø starts, but he immediately stops and lower his eyes.

« Do I what? »

« Do you really mean it? » he whispers in a barely audible voice.

« What are you talking about? I’m sorry, darling, but I'm a bit confused. »

Blitzø bites his lower lip and shakes his head.

« It's not important. »

Once again, Stolas takes his chin between his fingers and lifts it to meet his gaze. And his glowing red eyes are so beautiful Blitzø feels a little whine escape his lips.

« Please », his bird says. « Tell me. »

« Do you... do you mean it when you call me those cute names? You know... darling. Dearest. My... my love. »

His voice breaks on the last and he feels his cheeks burning.

Stolas lets out a little chirp and gently kisses his insignia.

« I mean every word », he whispers. « I’ve been in love with you all my life, Blitzy. You're everything to me. Via excepted, you're the most important part of my world. »

« You too », Blitzø replies in the same tone, rubbing his face against his bird's chest feathers before adding, apologetic: « Sorry. I got you wet. »

« It's hardly the first time, darling », Stolas replies, and from the tone of his voice, Blitzø would swear he's wearing a little smirk.

« It's not the same thing! » he protests, swatting his bird with the tip of his spade-shaped tail.

Blitzø realizes that he has wrapped himself entirely around his Stolas for comfort, as the babies do with him. And between his tears and their ridiculous height difference, he kind of feels like a kid at the moment.

He clears his throat.

« You can put me down now. »

« Are you sure, darling? » asks Stolas, all traces of mockery disappearing in favor of concern.

The truth is, Blitzø doesn't really want to. He may not feel comfortable enough to admit it to anyone else, but he loves being carried in his bird's arms, gently cradled against his soft feathers. It makes him feel cared for. Precious. Safe.

But Stolas has already been so thoughtful, so good to him these last few days. It would be selfish to keep taking advantage of him like this.

« Yes », Blitzø replies, with as much conviction as he can muster.

Stolas kisses him once more on his insignia, before placing him back on the ground.

Blitzø feels a little bereft, all of a sudden.

Then he notices that his bird is in green overalls, and that he's brought a bucket full of gardening tools with him.

« What's this? » he asks, frowning.

Stolas blushes, looking embarrassed.

« I… I hope you don't think I'm being too forward but, you see, the other day when we were here, your friends promised to remember your mother, and I... well... I wanted to show my appreciation and gratitude too, so I… »

« Gratitude? » Blitzø repeats, struggling to follow his reasoning. « For what? »

Stolas kneels in front of him, cradling his face between his hands. The heart-shaped pupils still flutter in his eyes.

« For you, dearest. This amazing woman has given you to me, and that's all I need to know about her. I am so very grateful for this precious gift. »

In Blitzø's chest, his heart is beating like crazy. But he manages to contain himself. Just barely. After all, he's still standing at Moma's grave and she's looking at him, he's convinced. He's already acting like a lovesick moron, he needs to behave himself.

But then his bird adds:

« That's why I planted these flowers. I wasn't sure about the colors, but since this variety of honeysuckle is pure white, I thought the red would complement it quite beautifully. And these are... well, these are your colors, my Blitzy. »

Blitzø is just a man. A man head over heels in love with the kindest, most thoughtful, sweetest bird of all. So he can't be blamed if he pounces, knocking Stolas to the ground, before kissing him as if his life depended on it.

(In a way, it does.)

Initially startled, his bird grabs the back of his neck and the small of his back, before returning his kiss with equal fervor, pressing his body against the imp’s, so tightly that Blitzø himself couldn't tell where he ends and Stolas begins.

The only reason he doesn't go any further is that a graveyard is hardly the place to ravish a pretty bird. At least not this graveyard. Or rather, not this very spot. So he softens his gestures, allowing the kiss to become less frantic, but sweeter, before leaning back.

A low moan escapes Stolas’ throat.

Blitzø would like nothing better than to nibble his bird's tender neck, to let his hands roam over his long, graceful body, but that would be disrespectful to Moma. And to Stolas too. The man he loves deserves better than a quickie in public, where anyone could see them.

He has a lot of kinks, but exhibitionism has never been one of them.

« I love you, my pretty bird », he says instead.

Stolas opens his eyes to look at him with an adoration that fills Blitzø with as much pleasure as dread. He still feels unworthy of his love, struggling to come to terms with the fact that his Stolas truly loves him, that his feelings are not unwelcome but reciprocated. To say the least, he's a little overwhelmed.

« I love you too, my Blitzy. »

Blitzø closes his eyes, savoring the words.

« Say it again. »

Stolas chuckles.

« I love you, darling. »

« Again. »

« I. Love. You », his bird repeats, kissing him with every word.

Blitzø opens his eyes to look at him, reaching out to stroke his cheek. Instead, Stolas intertwines their hands and kisses his palm. The gesture is so gentle that his heart feels like it's about to burst.

« Stolas », he says, « meet my Moma. Moma, this is my Stolas. I know, he's a Goetia, but it's not his fault. And he's kind, and smart, and he knows a lot about plants and stars, and he's so handsome, and I love him so, so much », he says, almost shyly.

His bird doesn't laugh at him. On the contrary, he smiles, leans over to place a gentle kiss on Blitzø's lips and says:

« It's an honor to meet you, ma'am. Thank you so much for my Blitzy. I hope these flowers are to your liking. »

Blitzø still doesn't know what to do about Gil's situation. But he knows that Moma has heard him, and that makes him feel slightly better. In any case, the presence of a certain pretty bird almost prevents him from concentrating on anything but him. It can most definitely wait another day. And Moma isn't going anywhere...

« Moma, I have to go now. But I promise I'll be back soon, okay? »

Reaching out, he traces the words of the epitaph with the tip of his fingers.

Then he turns to Stolas.

« My bird... Will you take me to bed? »

Notes:

I don't write smut, so you won't get that kind of scene in the next chapter. But we'll get just a glimpse of what's going on right afterwards, before we carry on with the fic.

In other news, I’m not sure if you've noticed, but there's now an almost definitive number of chapters for this fic. I've sketched out the issues I still have to deal with, and it should be finished in 8 chapters, including another interlude from Stolas' point of view, and an epilogue from another character's. There may be one or two more chapters, as my Muse (aka Gollum Buttercup, for those who followed) hates being forced into anything, but this gives you a general idea of what to expect nonetheless…

That said, I've got work to do and I'm at the end of my deadline (I know, how dare I have a life outside writing?), so you may have to wait a bit for these final chapters. At least I'll leave you in a place where everything is fine and nobody is hurt...

Chapter 50: The (skippable) night

Summary:

In a way, it feels like their first time...

Notes:

People, I stand by what I said. I don’t write smut. And I didn’t.
BUT
I did gave those two a gentle, tender love scene, because they deserved it. It’s pretty vanilla and non-explicit, but it’s still sex.
If you’ don’t feel comfortable with it, you can absolutely skip the chapter, I promise you won't miss anything.

(But please don't suggest there need to be smut in my stories. I don't feel comfortable with that at all...)

Chapter Text

Sex with Stolas has never been like this.

No, scratch that. Sex has never been like this. Period.

A month ago, if someone had propositioned Blitzø for vanilla sex, he'd have laughed his ass off and suggested the jerk go fuck himself with a dildo made of nails.

But it's not someone. It's Stolas. His beautiful, sweet, tender Stolas.

He's so desperate to be inside him again that he would have said yes to almost anything.

And yet, he didn't expect this.

Blitzø is lying on his back. It's not a new position, by any means. In the past, when they were doing specific scenarios, or simply when he didn't feel like giving it his all, the imp would lean on his back, arms crossed behind his head, and let the bird go down on him.

Stolas is on his knees. This is also a very familiar setting. But it's not like that either.

In fact, he's linked his hands with Blitzø's and is gently squeezing his fingers with his talons, while holding him still. Stolas is still fully clothed, which seems extremely unfair to Blitzø, since he himself is wearing only boxer shorts.

The thing is, his bird is just staring at his almost naked body in silence, and as his white pupils aren’t visible, Blitzø can’t even guess what he is thinking. Yet he has a good idea. After all, it wasn't for nothing that he blindfolded Stolas half the time and kept most of his clothes on during the rest of their full-moon sessions: he knows exactly what he looks like, with his mottled half-red, half-white skin covered in scars. Under the glowing eyes of the man he loves, he suddenly feels exposed and vulnerable.

« Sto... Stolas », he murmurs after a long, uncomfortable time. « Pl... Please, stop staring at me. »

His bird gives a surprised little hoot.

« Why not Blitzy? You're so beautiful and you never let me look at you. »

A sound halfway between despair and desire escapes Blitzø's throat. But he tries to keep his cool. He really does. It isn’t as he is a blushing virgin, after all. Not only is Stolas the one excelling in this role, Blitzø himself can’t even remember the time when he had an ounce of innocence left.

And yet...

« I’m not », he mutters, feeling new tears welling up in his eyes.

He fights them back. After all, there are few things worse for destroying someone's libido than a sobbing lover...

« Of course you are, my love », protests his bird. « You're the most gorgeous demon in Hell. »

A lump forms in Blitzø’s throat. Not trusting himself to speak without breaking in tears, he simply shakes his head in denial. With a little worried frown and a tender chirp, Stolas rubs his cheek against his, before kissing him softly on the lips.

Then he lifts his head and his smile is positively wicked.

« Well, my Blitzy, if you don't believe me, I guess I'll just have to show you how delectable you look to me right now. »

With that, he begins tracing Blitzø's entire body with his beak. But not to blaze a trail to the most obvious part, no. Instead, he kisses, bits and licks every bit of burnt skin, every single scar. All the while, his red eyes, whose heart-shaped pupils have reappeared, remain locked into Blitzø's.

The imp feels as if he's been enduring this sweet torture for an eternity. His whole body is on fire. Blitzø knows how ugly he really is. He's known for sixteen years. And he hates feeling so exposed. But he craves his bird's attention. He’s moaning and twisting under him, a prisoner of his gaze as much as he’s of his hands.

Blitzø knows he’s ugly. But under his lover’s gaze, he feels different. Precious. Cherished.

And that’s when he finally gets it.

They’re not fucking.

They’re not even having sex.

For the first time in his entire life, he’s being made love to.

« Stolas », he says, with a pleading voice he barely recognizes. « Please. I need… »

« I know my love. Me too », whispers the man who owns his heart.

Without letting go of his hands or taking his eyes off him for a single second, his bird makes Blitzø’s boxer and his own clothes disappear in a flash of light purple magic, before sitting himself on Blitzø’s lap and slowly taking him inside his body. Blitzø has never felt anything so intense. It's as if every single one of his nerves is hypersensitive. Stolas releases one of his hands to stroke his cheek. Blitzø rises and tugs on his bird’s arm to give him a messy kiss.

« St… Stolas », he says, as he feels the pleasure build.

The urge to throw his head back and close his eyes is strong, but he wants… he needs to see every change in his Stolas’ expression.

« I love you », he whispers, right before the wave takes him over.

« Oh Blitzy! »

Blitzø feels Stolas trembling above and around him, and the moment is so perfect that the image brands itself into his brain and heart at the same time.

Afterwards, they lie in each other's arms and Blitzø lazily traces the contours of his bird's body.

« It was… » he says in amazement, but he doesn't really have the words to describe it.

« Do you realize how beautiful you are now? » asks Stolas, raising an eyebrow.

Blitzø scoffs with amusement and shakes his head.

« No, but I believe you think I am. And that's good enough for me. »

Stolas leans in and starts nibbling his neck.

« Not for me, my love », he whispers. « I guess I'll have to be more convincing… »

Chapter 51: The birth

Summary:

The night was perfect.
The morning after is a bit more hectic…

Notes:

Hi people!

My project is progressing well, better than expected, and so far I'm on schedule to meet my deadline. 🤞

This will be the last chapter for a couple of weeks, but I promise I’ll come back after that.

I hope you enjoy this one. I know some of you have been waiting for this…

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

The knocking on Stolas' bedroom door wakes Blitzø with a start. It takes him a couple of minutes to get his bearings, remember where he is and how he got there.

The fact is, Stolas has redecorated his room since the last time Blitzø was there, during the terrible full moon they haven't really talked about yet, although they've both apologized for their behavior during and afterwards. The furniture in the new room has been organized differently, there are more plants, stars everywhere... and the dominant colors are fire engine red and sugar white.

After Stolas made tender love to Blitzø twice, the imp returned the favor and had his bird sing his name until his voice went hoarse. For while it turns out that Blitzø loves to be treated gently, his Stolas relishes being manhandled by him. And Blitzø missed his flushed, pleasured face so much. The first red glimmers of the rising pentagram were visible in the sky as they finally drifted off to sleep, snuggled together.

It can't have been that long ago, because the pentagram isn’t even fully up yet.

« What's going on? » mumbles Stolas, burrowing under the sheets.

« I don't know, my pretty bird » Blitzø replies, kissing the ruffled feathers at the top of his skull, the only part of him that's accessible at the moment. « I’ll murder them and come back to bed to warm you… »

Stolas’ upper red eyes emerge from his nest of silk.

« Is that a promise, Blitzy? »

Blitzø lets out an amused chuckle, as his tail sneaks under the sheets to briefly squeeze Stolas' thigh.

« Yes, thirsty bird », he says.

« I wasn't trying to be thirsty », replies Stolas and Blitzø can hear the pout in his voice. « I just wanted to cuddle. »

He's so adorable that Blitzø can't help teasing him.

« That's not what you said last night. You screamed my name so loud I'm pretty sure they heard it outside the palace. »

This time, his bird's head pops completely out to give him an indignant look. But then his expression changes to one of smugness.

« Well, you moaned mine so prettily first, my love », he retorts in a sugary voice.

Blitzø's cheeks start to burn. He really did, didn't he?

He clears his throat.

« Anyway, I’m yours for the morning. »

He'd already sent a message to Loony and Millie yesterday, saying he'd be spending the night at Stolas' palace and would be in the office by noon. Their first kill isn't supposed to take place until early afternoon, so he can spend a little more time with Stolas before he has to leave, although he plans to see the twins first. Millie's answer was suspiciously enthusiastic. Blitzø begins to wonder if she hasn't won the bet...

Once again, Stolas' pupils take on the shape of little fluttering hearts.

« Really? Does that mean... we can have breakfast together? » he asks in a happy, hopeful voice.

Blitzø's heart begins to pound in his chest. Will the time come when he won't be smitten with every smile on his bird’s pretty face?

« Yeah, I… »

The knocking on the door returns with a vengeance and Blitzø snarls. He doesn't know who dares interrupt him and his bird, but they'll soon regret it! He quickly pulls on his boxer shorts and shirt, without bothering to button it, before heading for the door at a murderous pace. Bursting it open, he comes face to face with Stolas' tiny butler, his face haggard and his hair disheveled.

« Pringles? What the fuck? » he growls in exasperation, because he's in front of the one person he can't afford to maim.

Not only does Stolas need him, but he's also Kiki's baby’s daddy, after all.

« I’m very sorry, Mr. Buckzo. I would never have bothered you so early in the morning, but it's Kiki, you see… »

Any desire to protest gone, Blitzø grabs the small imp by the arms.

« What's wrong? Is it Bean? »

« Uh... Yes, sir. My ch… I mean… The baby's being born. »

« Oh. Oh. Oh! »

Blitzø is freaking out a little. Or a lot. Releasing Pringles, he grabs his own horns, hands shaking. Looking at the two of them right now, you’d think he's the one who's about to have a baby. But while he cares about all the girls in the support group, his bond with Kiki is special. Not only has she become one of his two best friends, but Blitzø has been present at almost every stage of her pregnancy. So it's not surprising that he feels on the verge of hyperventilating. That's when a pair of gentle hands come to rest on his shoulders and start massaging them, removing most of the tension. Blitzø restrains himself from purring, but wraps his tail around his bird’s wrist and turns his head to smile gratefully. His red robe tied around his trim waist, Stolas returns his smile and leans over to kiss him on the insignia.

« Thanks for the heads-up, Pringles. Do you want a ride to the hospital? » Blitzø asks.

Something akin to relief passes through the imp butler's eyes.

« Thank you for your kind offer, Mr. Buckzo. I really appreciate it. Yes, please. I want to be there for Kiki in any capacity she may need me. »

To Blitzø, the phrasing seems a bit odd, especially for someone about to become a dad, but Stolas uses those big words too, so he figures that's what working for the upper classes does to an imp.

« Would you like me to come with you, darling? »

Blitzø smiles tenderly at Stolas and shakes his head.

« Nah. I'll be fine. You need to go back to bed, my pretty bird. You've barely slept. »

Stolas' white-pupilled gaze searches his, until he finally nods with a sigh.

« We'll have to take a rain check on breakfast, though », says Blitzø. « But maybe you could come to my place for dinner tomorr… Shit. No, not tomorrow, I’ve got this thing with the girls. Wednesday night? »

A soft little chirp escapes from Stolas, who nods eagerly.

« Oh Blitzy, I'd love to! »

« It's a date, then. A real one this time. »

After a brief but full-bodied hug, Blitzø summons a portal and beckons Pringles to go through first.

« Talk to you later! Love ya! » he says, blowing Stolas a kiss before crossing in his turn.

Once at the hospital entrance, Blitzø heads for the nurse's office, Pringles hot on his heels. Luckily, it's the nice nurse who has led him to the little nightmare, not the bitch who wanted to keep Vanny waiting.

« Hey! Remember me? »

The nurse looks at him, opens her eyes wide and nods.

« Er... Hello. Didn't the lady with the... um... half-Goetia baby leave the hospital a few weeks ago already? » she asks in a barely audible voice.

« Yup. We're here about another pregnant lady, actually. Her name is Kiki. She’s a succubus, a really tall one. She’s giving birth right now, in fact. That's Daddy there », Blitzø declares, pointing to Pringles.

The butler swallows and gives the nurse a shy wave.

She consults her computer and nods a second time.

« Yes. It says here she's on the third floor, B wing, room 327. »

« Great! Thanks a bunch. Come on, Pringles », he says, grabbing the father-to-be by the wrist and pulling him along.

Wide-eyed and more bewildered than he's ever been, the butler follows in silence.

Five minutes later, Blitzø knocks on the door of room 327.

« Helluncle and daddy-to-be reporting for duty! Sorry we're late! » he exclaims with an unabashed grin as the door opens on Jesse.

« You've been eagerly awaited », replies the hunky bouncer, opening the door wide.

His face is impassive, but now Blitzø knows him a little better. He's able to recognize his tells, like the thinly veiled smile and the gleam in his eyes.
In the room are Magda, with her baby babbling in one arm, while in the other hand she holds a plastic cup with a straw for the mother-to-be to drink from, and Lavender, gently dabbing Kiki’s forehead with a damp piece of cloth. The poor girl looks exhausted. Her face is paler than usual and her eyes are rimmed. She gives them a tired smile.

« You're here », she says in a breathless voice.

« Of course we're here. Sorry to have kept you waiting. It’s my fault, I was… »

« Getting some », completes Kiki with a knowing look.

« Actually, I was asleep », Blitzø protests, knowing that, even if his burning cheeks and shifty gaze didn't give him away, Kiki's succubus instincts would be enough for her to tell that he's lying through his teeth.

« Of course, sugar », comments Lavender, with a little smirk. « You definitely have that ‘good s…leep’ afterglow. »

They both know she means an entirely different word, and Blitzø feels his cheeks burn in response.

« Fuck you, Lavender », he grunts.

She winks at him.

« That's my job », Jesse retorts, walking over to the Slothian demon, wrapping a strong arm around her shoulders and kissing her temple, before turning to the mom-to-be. « Can I get you anything, Kiki? »

« No, Dem's already gone in search of ice cream, thanks. »

Blitzø had no idea Mrs. K's sexy grandson and Kiki were that close... though it makes sense. After all, Dem is probably Mrs. K's favorite and he visits her regularly. In the apartment where Kiki currently resides. What's more, as Blitzø belatedly realizes with a healthy dose of guilt, someone had to take her to hospital via the Hellevator, as he wasn't available to create a portal.

« I’m so sorry, sweets… » he murmurs, taking her hand.

« What for, hot stuff? » replies Kiki, frowning.

« I should have been there. I was supposed to be the one to take you to the hospital. »

« Absolutely not », she retorts, narrowing her eyes. « After all those months of pining for each other, you and that Goetia hottie finally gave in. I'd have delivered Bean in Mrs. K's bathtub rather than let someone distract youuuuuuuuuu. »

The effect of the statement is somewhat spoiled by the fact that the last word ends in a cry of pain as she squeezes his hand so hard Blitzø would swear he can hear his bones crack. However, he does his best not to show his discomfort, as Kiki is clearly suffering a lot. Instead, he’s racking his brain, trying to remember what Mrs. K told them about controlling breathing to handle the pain.

« Breathe with me, okay? » Blitzø says, breathing in and out through his mouth, about once a second, making little ‘hee’ noises with each exhale.

He probably sounds ridiculous, but he doesn't care. Only Kiki matters. Out of the corner of his eye, he notices that, on the other side of the bed, Pringles has replaced Magda and taken Kiki's other hand in his own. At the same time, the little butler tenderly dabs her forehead with the damp cloth he must have picked up from Lavender.
Judging by the way he looks at Kiki, it would seem that Pringles is not only there for his kid.

The succubus rolls her eyes, then groans in pain and squeezes Blitzø's hand even tighter, so she begins to breathe at the same pace as he does. After what feels like half an hour but the clock on the wall swears is two minutes, Kiki's grip on his hand loosens and she tips her head back onto the pillow with a sigh. Pringles immediately moistens the cloth and presses it to her forehead and cheeks, before bringing the cup to her lips. He's really good at this. No wonder Stolas considers him such a good butler. Kiki gives him a grateful smile and takes a sip.

« What did the doctor say? » Blitzø asks when she's finished.

« That we're in for hours », Magda replies with a sympathetic glance at the mom-to-be. « Two at best, ten at worst, most likely five. »

Kiki's expression becomes a little panicked, so Blitzø tries to divert the course of the discussion.

« And the wings? Still folded? »

That's one of the things he's learned about succubi birthing, actually. As long as the baby's wings remain folded, the birth can proceed normally. But if they somehow open up in the womb, a C-section has to be performed, or the birth could be dangerous for both mother and baby.

« All good », Lavender replies with a smile.

« Good », repeats Blitzø. « So... which one of you assholes won the fucking bet? »

Two hours pass without much change. At least on the birthing front.

Dem returns with a large tray covered in small cups, each containing a different ice cream flavor. Since Kiki only wants chocolate (of course), the others share the rest. Blitzø goes for vanilla, because apparently that's his thing now.

Vanny and Via come through a portal. They tell Blitzø that his bird has volunteered to look after the little nightmare in their absence, and he has to make an effort not to show how sexy he finds the idea of his Stolas gently holding the cute baby in his arms.

Time passes.

Blitzø calls Millie, who promises that she, Moxxie and Loony will take care of their two murders for the day. Since the targets are relatively low-risk, Blitzø allows it, on condition that his other best friend supervises the whole thing and keeps an eye on the other two. She accepts without question, despite both of them knowing that it's not the first time. During the period following his non-breakup with Stolas, it was actually a fairly common occurrence…

Shrimpy starts to wail and fuss, so Magda apologizes and says she has to leave. As Lavender has been yawning more and more for nearly an hour, Jesse decides to take both girls home and carries his pregnant, protesting girlfriend in his arms, Magda following close behind.

Dem leaves half an hour later, as he's expected at Mrs. K's.

Then it's time for Vanny and Via to return to Stolas.

Every single one of them all hug Kiki and make Blitzø promise to let them know as soon as he has any news.

More time passes.

A lot more.

It's now been almost 20 hours. Blitzø and Pringles have stayed with Kiki the entire time, barely leaving the room to go to the bathroom, grab some food or, in Blitzø's case, keep everyone posted via the group chat.

(A group chat that Fizz, M&M, Mrs. K and Loony suspiciously joined three weeks ago...)

Blitzø also paid three brief visits to Mrs. K to hug and kiss the twins, as he didn't want them to feel abandoned by their (lacking) dad substitute.

Both men are showing some signs of fatigue, but that's nothing compared to poor Kiki. She's exhausted and the pain is so bad she's cried a few times. Blitzø has never seen childbirth, so he doesn't know if this is a normal reaction, but he hates seeing her like this.

He does everything he can to distract her, going so far as to juggle and make balloon animals for her.

(He's out of practice and blows up more than a few, but it makes her laugh, so it's worth it).

As for Pringles, he does his best to comfort her, dabbing her forehead, brushing her hair, massaging her shoulders, all the while telling her how brave, strong and beautiful she is.

(If Blitzø wasn't so worried, he'd call her out on her ‘he only wants me for sex’ bullshit. It's obvious that the poor man is completely smitten.)

When there's almost no time to breathe between contractions, Blitzø runs to find a doctor. He finds one at the nurse’s office, a pale pink, middle-aged Slothian demon, who quietly follows him back to the room.

« So, how are we feeling... Miss Kiki? » she says with a benevolent smile, checking a file attached to the bed.

Judging by the look on the succubus' face, it's obvious that the doctor is lucky she's too tired to answer. The doctor moves to the front of the bed, lifts the hospital gown Kiki is wearing and looks between her legs. Blitzø and Pringles politely avert their eyes.

« Yes, the little one is on the way. Which one of you is Daddy? I'm going to need the other one to leave the room. »

« Uh... that's me », replies an embarrassed Pringles. « But he’s her pregnancy companion, so I should be the one leaving… »

His dejected expression clearly shows that it's costing him to step aside, out of respect for what he believes to be Kiki's wishes. But Blitzø has seen the looks she's given the tiny imp while he's been taking care of her, and he'd be surprised if these two idiots gave it another chance.

(If they manage to pull their heads out of their asses, that is.)

« Nah », he says. « Looks to me she'll be in good hands with Daddy over here. Wait a little longer, sweet. Your baby g... Bean is almost here. »

Hoping Pringles hadn't heard his slip of the tongue (as far as Blitzø knows, the butler still doesn't know he's having a girl), he kisses Kiki on the cheek and leaves the room before either of them has time to protest. Sitting on a chair in the waiting area, he pulls out his phone and sends a quick message to the group chat:

Bby all most their

Wll send Foto

Then he opens his conversation with Stolas. It's so late that his pretty bird must be asleep, but at least he can text him to say he's on his mind.

(He's pretty sure it's romantic.)

Thnkin of u

Blitzø is surprised and thrilled to see the three little dots announcing that his Stolas is responding. He’s eagerly awaiting his answer when the sound of boots echoes through the maternity ward. A feeling of dread settles in the pit of his stomach, for he'd recognize that sound between a thousand and one.

And indeed, fifteen seconds later, he finds himself face to face with Verosika.

Notes:

I know, I’m a bad girl to leave you with that kind of cliffhanger 🤭

7 more chapters until the end…

Uncle B - Another_Pumpkin_Pie - Helluva Boss (Web Series) [Archive of Our Own] (2025)
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